Alison Answers #MissionAwake

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Have you ever had one hard day and suddenly started questioning everything about who you are? 

Alison explores the difference between a state and an identity, and how the beliefs we formed as children shape the way we think, feel, react, and love as adults.

Here's what you'll learn.

• How to tell the difference between a hard moment and who you really are
• Why today's events often wake up old stories instead of creating new ones
• How childhood survival strategies like people pleasing, achieving, and humor still run your adult life
• What your children are learning from you, even when you think they're not watching
• How to stop punishing yourself and start building evidence for a new story
• Why confidence often comes after you move, not before
• How to respond to sarcasm and passive communication without getting pulled in

You have the choice to rewrite your story. This episode shows you where to begin.

Lager Counseling Services has offices in Wantagh, Bellmore, and Huntington, New York, with virtual sessions across New York and Maryland and a nationwide virtual department on the way. Their approach is built on empowering people, not defining them by a diagnosis.

If this episode spoke to you, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs it today.

Connect with Alison:

• Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling
• Website: LagerCounseling.com
• YouTube: Alison Answers
• Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
• Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”
• Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE
• Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

⚠️ Crisis Resources:
Lager Counseling Services
Call: 516-221-2123
Text: (914) 363-0381
Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential)
Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of Alison Answers, Alison sits down with Cheryl Donaldson, a therapist, leadership expert, global lecturer, and author of the guided journal Lead From the Soul, for a powerful conversation about what it means to reconnect with your soul and lead your life from that deeper place.

Cheryl explains the soul as the truest part of ourselves. The place where we connect to meaning, hope, compassion, courage, clarity, calm, and something bigger than us.

Together, Alison and Cheryl talk about the wounds, experiences, conditioning, shame, grief, fear, and protective parts that can cover that place inside of us and make us feel like we have lost ourselves.

This conversation is deeply personal for Alison, as she shares what it felt like after losing her husband and realizing there were moments when she could not “get back to Alison.”

You’ll hear:

• What it really means to lead from the soul
• How pain, grief, and life experiences can disconnect us from ourselves
• Why healing often begins with compassion, not criticism
• How Internal Family Systems can help us understand the parts of us that are trying to protect us
• Why some behaviors that look unhealthy may have started as protection
• How therapists, parents, and leaders can hold hope for someone until they can hold it for themselves
• Why connection is essential in parenting, leadership, and healing
• How to help children build identity and self-worth from the inside out
• What it means to stop letting outside evidence define who you are
• How to begin finding your way back to your truest self

If you have ever felt buried under grief, shame, anxiety, expectations, or the weight of what life has done to you, this conversation is a reminder that you are still in there.

You are not gone.

There is a deeper place within you that can still be reached, strengthened, and led from.

In this episode:
00:00 What does it mean to lead from the soul?
00:50 Meet Cheryl Donaldson
03:00 Raising emotionally intelligent children
04:48 Getting to the heart of what activates us
07:06 Cheryl’s path into soul work
09:36 When someone needs you to sit with their soul
12:52 What is the soul?
15:04 Alison opens up about losing herself after grief
16:18 How to strengthen the soul
17:58 Holding hope for someone who has lost it
21:38 Leaving your burdens in the room
23:35 Internal Family Systems and soul work
27:34 Understanding the parts that protect us
31:08 Compassion, forgiveness, and self-understanding
34:07 The deeper place beyond yourself
36:19 Living from a surrendered and purposeful state
37:07 Why some people become deeper after pain
39:22 Alison’s viral conversation about suicide
46:04 Finding peace by connecting with the soul
47:46 How leaders can lead from the soul
50:16 Why connection comes before correction
52:21 How childhood labels shape identity
53:31 Choosing how you see your own value
56:05 Breaking the evidence that says you are not enough
01:00:06 A simple way to reconnect with your soul
01:01:43 Alison’s experience meeting her higher self

Connect with Alison:

• Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling
• Website: LagerCounseling.com
• YouTube: Alison Answers
• Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
• Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”
• Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE
• Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

⚠️ Crisis Resources:
Lager Counseling Services
Call: 516-221-2123
Text: (914) 363-0381
Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential)
Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

Send us Fan Mail

There may be a need right in front of you that you have not noticed yet.

A child who needs to be seen.
A family carrying more than anyone realizes.
A moment that feels small, but could become something much bigger if you choose to act on it.

In this episode of Alison Answers, Alison sits down with Luke Mickelson, founder of Sleep in Heavenly Peace, to talk about the moment that changed the direction of his life.

Luke had reached success. He had built a good life. But something still felt missing. Then one child’s story opened his eyes to a hidden need in his own community and what began as one simple act of service became a movement that has impacted hundreds of thousands of children and families.

This conversation is about so much more than beds.

It is about purpose.
It is about identity.
It is about the children and families we may not see until we are willing to look closer.
And it is about how serving someone else can sometimes bring us back to the part of ourselves that has felt lost.

You’ll hear:

* How one child’s need became the beginning of a global mission
* Why success does not always create fulfillment
* How service can shift your perspective when you feel stuck or disconnected
* Why children cannot carry adult-sized problems alone
* How small moments of compassion can become life-changing
* What happens when your purpose grows bigger than you
* How founders, parents, helpers, and leaders can struggle when their identity begins to shift
* Why helping others can awaken healing, meaning, and purpose in your own life

If you have ever felt like you should be happy, but still feel like something is missing, this conversation is a reminder that purpose is not always found by searching harder.

Sometimes, purpose begins when you notice someone else’s need and decide, “Not on my watch.”

Watch the full episode of Alison Answers now.

In this episode:
00:00 Success does not always mean fulfillment
02:21 Luke Mickelson and the mission of Sleep in Heavenly Peace
05:41 How Luke’s story began
13:57 The moment he heard children were sleeping without beds
16:05 Why service changes your perspective
23:43 Meeting Haley, the child who changed everything
27:17 Why this became more than just a bed
31:24 How the mission began to grow
37:39 From local project to hundreds of chapters
38:08 Reaching hundreds of thousands of children
39:46 Founder syndrome and losing your identity in the mission
49:33 Why being needed is not the same as being valued
52:47 Redefining your role when your purpose evolves
01:17:28 What to say to someone who feels hopeless
01:19:19 Why service can lead to true happiness
01:20:15 The power of tiny moments
01:25:56 How to get involved
01:29:25 Why your life and your actions matter

Connect with Alison:

• Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling
• Website: LagerCounseling.com
• YouTube: Alison Answers
• Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
• Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”
• Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE
• Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

⚠️ Crisis Resources:
Lager Counseling Services
Call: 516-221-2123
Text: (914) 363-0381
Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential)
Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

Send us Fan Mail

"Why do I keep ending up in the same relationship?"

In this episode of Alison Answers, Alison explores why we can keep repeating the same dating and relationship patterns, even when the names and faces change.

This conversation is not about blame. It is about awareness.

Alison breaks down how identity, emotional programming, and familiar feelings can shape who we choose, what we tolerate, and why certain relationship patterns keep showing up again and again.

If you’ve ever wondered why you keep attracting the same kind of person, why healthy love can feel unfamiliar, or why you find yourself people-pleasing, over-explaining, rescuing, chasing, or settling, this episode will help you look at the pattern with more honesty and compassion.

Because the deeper question is not always, “Why does this keep happening to me?”

Sometimes it is, “What version of me keeps choosing this?”

In this episode, you’ll learn how to recognize repeated relationship patterns, understand what your behavior may be pointing to, and begin asking the questions that help you choose from a healthier version of yourself.

Watch or listen to the full episode of Alison Answers now.

In this episode:

00:00 Why do I keep ending up in the same relationship?
02:28 Identity, pattern recognition, and emotional programming
05:51 Looking at the pattern instead of just the person
07:18 The feelings you keep repeating in relationships
10:23 Why familiar does not always mean healthy
16:05 When calm feels boring and chaos feels like love
21:14 How identity shapes what you tolerate
24:41 Why awareness is only the first step
27:24 Who do I need to become to choose differently?
33:08 Questions to ask yourself about love and identity
36:13 Taking responsibility for your relationships

Connect with Alison:

• Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling
• Website: LagerCounseling.com
• YouTube: Alison Answers
• Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
• Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”
• Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE
• Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

⚠️ Crisis Resources:
Lager Counseling Services
Call: 516-221-2123
Text: (914) 363-0381
Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential)
Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

Send us Fan Mail

When you look around your life, is it the life you really want to live?

In this episode of Alison Answers, Alison talks about what it really takes to create the life you want, and why so many people stay stuck wanting more without ever stepping into it.

This episode is about identity, honesty, awareness, and the patterns that quietly shape your results.

Because before you can change your life, you have to be willing to look at where you are, get honest about what you want, and ask a deeper question:

Who do I need to become to create the life I say I want?

If you’ve been feeling stuck, repeating the same patterns, or wanting more but not knowing how to move forward, this episode will help you start seeing your life with more clarity and power.

In this episode:
00:00 Intro
01:17 Is this the life you really want?
03:31 The Whole Life Inventory
05:16 Awareness, acceptance, and action
07:27 Getting honest about what you want
13:03 Meeting the part of you that feels stuck
20:10 Finding the program running your life
23:20 Deciding who you are becoming
28:34 Changing the identity keeping you stuck

Connect with Alison:

• Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling
• Website: LagerCounseling.com
• YouTube: Alison Answers
• Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
• Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”
• Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE
• Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

⚠️ Crisis Resources:
Lager Counseling Services
Call: 516-221-2123
Text: (914) 363-0381
Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential)
Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

Send us Fan Mail

We all have moments where we don’t feel like ourselves.

In this episode of Alison Answers, I’m talking about discouragement, why it can quietly build over time, and what to do when your mind starts focusing more on what’s not working.

If you’ve been feeling off, flat, stuck, or disconnected from yourself, this episode will help you pause, reflect, and take one small step back toward you.

In this episode:
00:00 Intro
00:35 Feeling discouraged
03:29 When you don’t feel like yourself
05:04 What have I stopped doing?
07:35 The habits that keep you grounded
13:00 You don’t need more information
14:18 The power of movement
16:35 Why simple things change your life
17:24 Why your brain focuses on the negative
20:11 Recording your wins
21:40 Why thinking more is not always the answer
23:40 Joy is medicine
27:58 What to ask when you feel discouraged
29:04 Do the next right thing
31:20 Creating new meaning around painful dates
33:05 Dating, discouragement, and staying open

Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call” 👉 https://a.co/d/0dVsdKP4

Connect with Alison:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/@alisonanswers/ | https://www.instagram.com/@lagercounseling/
Website: https://www.LagerCounseling.com
Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
Alison Answers Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/alisonanswers
Women of Excellence FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenofexcellencechallenge

Connect with Alison:

• Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling
• Website: LagerCounseling.com
• YouTube: Alison Answers
• Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
• Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”
• Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE
• Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

⚠️ Crisis Resources:
Lager Counseling Services
Call: 516-221-2123
Text: (914) 363-0381
Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential)
Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

Send us Fan Mail

In this solo episode of Alison Answers, I’m answering a question I get asked all the time:

"How do I choose the right therapist?"

Therapy should not be a place where you simply rehearse your pain every week.

A good therapist should help you feel safe, understand yourself more clearly, notice your patterns, and begin building the life you actually want.

If you are thinking about starting therapy, looking for a new therapist, or wondering if the therapy you are in is truly helping you grow, this episode will give you a clearer way to choose.

You’ll learn what to look for, what to pay attention to, and why the right therapist should help you become more empowered, not more attached to your pain.

In this episode:

00:00 Intro
00:41 How do I choose the right therapist?
04:00 Five tips for choosing the right therapist
04:24 A good therapist helps you become empowered
10:58 You should feel safe enough to be honest
20:07 You are not a checklist
22:04 A therapist helps you discover patterns
26:20 A therapist should help you build the life you want
37:06 Closing message

Connect with Alison:

• Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling
• Website: LagerCounseling.com
• YouTube: Alison Answers
• Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
• Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”
• Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE
• Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

⚠️ Crisis Resources:
Lager Counseling Services
Call: 516-221-2123
Text: (914) 363-0381
Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential)
Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

Send us Fan Mail

This episode is about something I believe quietly destroys more lives than most people realize.

It is not always trauma.
It is not always failure.
It is not always lack of opportunity.

Sometimes, it is our unconscious reaction to everything.

In this solo episode of Alison Answers, I’m talking about the difference between reacting to life and intentionally creating it.

Because so many of us think we are thinking things through, but what we are really doing is reacting.

I share insights from my book The Wake Up Call and walk through how we move from reaction mode into creation.

In this episode, I talk about:

- Why most people are reacting more than they realize
- Why worry is a form of visualization
- How your brain prepares your body for what you repeatedly focus on
- Why fear can start to feel like wisdom
- How hypervigilance trains the brain to search for danger
- Why calm can feel unsafe when your nervous system is used to chaos
- How language shapes identity
- Why mediocrity is so expensive
- How repeated thoughts become practiced identity
- Why creation requires action, not just wishful thinking
- How to stop rehearsing fear and start creating the life you actually want

If you have been feeling anxious, tired, stuck, uninspired, or like you are constantly reacting to life instead of leading it, I want this episode to be a wake-up call.

Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:58 Stop reacting and start creating
02:41 The thing quietly destroying people’s lives
03:28 Thinking vs reacting
04:18 Old programming, fear, and childhood conditioning
05:21 Rehearsing disaster and worst-case scenarios
06:40 A tool to calm the body and interrupt reaction
08:26 Reacting to life vs creating it intentionally
09:03 Rehearsed fear vs rehearsed future
10:03 Worry is visualization
11:18 What world is your brain preparing you for?
12:33 How focus strengthens neural pathways
12:57 Hypervigilance and searching for danger
15:08 When rehearsed fear starts to feel like wisdom
17:06 Why people become addicted to reaction
18:53 Why calm can feel unsafe
20:09 Creation requires presence
21:55 Letting go of struggle and seeking wisdom
22:21 Why society rewards mediocrity
23:49 Wanting more does not make you shallow
26:14 How people slowly settle for less
27:47 The real cost of mediocrity
30:01 Identity is built through repetition
30:51 Why language matters
31:55 How to interrupt painful identity patterns
33:30 Creation requires action
35:08 Life is built one thought, one feeling, one breath at a time
37:08 The inherited story vs the consciously created story
38:11 Are you reacting or creating?
39:24 Take charge of your life
39:51 Closing message and how to support the podcast

Connect with Alison:

• Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling
• Website: LagerCounseling.com
• YouTube: Alison Answers
• Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
• Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”
• Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE
• Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

⚠️ Crisis Resources:
Lager Counseling Services
Call: 516-221-2123
Text: (914) 363-0381
Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential)
Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

Send us Fan Mail

If you’ve been trying to stop a behavior, break a pattern, or change something about yourself but it keeps coming back, this episode is for you.

Maybe it’s people-pleasing.
Over-explaining.
Avoidance.
Anger.
Perfectionism.
Shutting down.
Or a behavior you keep promising yourself you’re done with.

But no matter how much you understand it, hate it, or try to force it away, a part of you still goes back to it.

In today’s solo episode of Alison Answers, Alison Lager breaks down the psychology behind why some behaviors are so hard to stop, and why what looks like self-sabotage may actually be a protector part trying to keep you safe.

This episode invites you to stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and start asking a deeper question:

What is this protecting me from?

Alison explains why certain behaviors become survival strategies, how the nervous system can mistake change for danger, and why trying to remove a coping strategy too quickly can cause another pattern to take its place.

You’ll learn why your body may choose protection over happiness, why willpower alone often isn’t enough, and how to begin meeting these parts of yourself with curiosity instead of shame.

By the end of this episode, you’ll understand:

- Why “bad behaviors” can be hard to stop even when you want to change
- How protector parts form around pain, shame, rejection, and fear
- Why your nervous system may resist letting go of old patterns
- How people-pleasing, over-explaining, anger, avoidance, and perfectionism can become protection
- Why attacking the behavior can make shame worse
- Why removing a coping strategy too early can backfire
- The question that can help you understand what the behavior is really protecting
- How to let your adult self, higher self, or grounded self lead instead of the scared part
- Why healing begins with safety, not self-attack

If you’ve been beating yourself up for the same pattern over and over, this episode will help you see it differently.

Maybe the behavior is not the whole story.
Maybe the pattern has a purpose.
Maybe the part of you you keep fighting was once the part trying to save you.

Watch the full episode of Alison Answers to understand the psychology behind why you can’t just stop bad behaviors, and what your nervous system may be trying to protect.

In this episode

00:00 Intro
01:05 What protector parts are
02:36 Why attacking the behavior can backfire
03:26 What happens when a protector is removed too soon
05:49 Why coping strategies need to be understood first
06:26 Why the protector part is rarely the enemy
06:53 Protector parts as exhausted bodyguards
09:04 How unhealthy behaviors can regulate the nervous system
09:27 Perfectionism, anger, people-pleasing, over-explaining, and dissociation
10:32 Why there may be nothing “wrong” with you
11:20 What to do instead of attacking the behavior
12:23 Questions to ask your protector part
13:15 Why the goal is not to destroy the protector
14:51 Using visualization to understand younger parts
16:03 Letting the adult self lead
18:07 Why the behavior is not the whole story
18:40 Getting out of the thinking brain and into the body
20:29 Awareness without judgment
21:20 Learning to ask yourself better questions
21:45 Becoming steady, grounded, and peaceful

Connect with Alison:

• Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling
• Website: LagerCounseling.com
• YouTube: Alison Answers
• Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
• Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”
• Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE
• Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

⚠️ Crisis Resources:
Lager Counseling Services
Call: 516-221-2123
Text: (914) 363-0381
Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential)
Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

Send us Fan Mail

Victoria Volk went from a lifetime of “healthy positivity” and people‑pleasing to realizing she was carrying deep, unprocessed grief, emotional neglect, and unresolved relationships trapped in her body and energy field.

In this episode, you’ll see how childhood loss, emotional hunger, and years of over‑functioning shaped her life and how her grief‑recovery method “Do Grief Differently,” Human Design, and biofield tuning helped her finally drop the “backpack of rocks” she’d been carrying.

You’ll learn how to stop confusing constant movement with strength, why people‑pleasing and perfectionism often hide unfinished grief, and how the same emotional themes keep showing up in love, work, and identity until you finally face them.

Watch this if:
👉 You feel spiritually or emotionally “blocked” under your sternum (solar plexus) despite your success
👉 You keep repeating the same relationship patterns or feel unseen in your wisdom
👉 You struggle with approval, loneliness, or people‑pleasing without knowing why
👉 You experience grief from sudden loss, suicide, divorce, or emotional neglect
👉 You want to understand how your childhood losses shape your adult energy, boundaries, and healing

You’ll walk away with:
✅ A clearer understanding of how childhood and emotional loss shape adult relationships and energy
✅ A practical way to map your history of loss and find the core relationships that hold your pain
✅ Insight into how Projectors and other Human Design types are built to heal, not to hustle
✅ A new perspective on forgiveness that doesn’t require confrontation with the other person
✅ Tools to notice how your body and energy field respond to grief, energetic work, and service
✅ A deeper sense that there is nothing to fix

Connect with Alison:

• Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling
• Website: LagerCounseling.com
• YouTube: Alison Answers
• Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
• Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”
• Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE
• Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

⚠️ Crisis Resources:
Lager Counseling Services
Call: 516-221-2123
Text: (914) 363-0381
Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential)
Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org