Episode 47 -

If you’ve ever cared for a loved one or have watched as a parent or grandparent slowly declined, then you know how important it is to make sure that they are being cared for with kindness, patience, and respect. These are difficult times for them and for the family. Maybe you’ve taken on the responsibility of their care, or you’ve started visiting with them every evening after work just to make sure that they’re taking their medications and eating dinner. The emotional and physical toll that comes with caring for a declining loved one can be heartbreaking and exhausting.

It’s hard watching as the person who use to be vibrant, strong, and active is now slowly becoming a shell of their former selves. It’s hard to fully prepare a family for what to expect when the time comes to care for their older loved ones.

If your family is like many facing this difficult situation, you’re probably still working, raising children, and in some cases, you may even have grandchildren. If that’s the case, you have officially entered the Sandwich Generation – and are struggling to maintain the balance between caring for your parents and your children.

The term Sandwich Generation was coined by social workers Dorothy Miller and Elaine Brody in 1981. It’s used to describe caregivers who became sandwiched between generations. Right now, 47% of adults in their 40s and 50s are supporting an aging parent in their 70s while also managing their kids. If you’re interested in learning more about the Sandwich Generation, head to the links in our show notes. There, you’ll find a link to an episode we did on the topic, as well as an article for further information.

Whether or not you’re struggling with this balance, you might find that you are unable to care for your loved one at all. Maybe you are still working and cannot afford to lose your job or to retire or maybe you live too far away. There are many factors that can prevent family from being able to provide the care and support that their loved one needs.

If you find yourself in this situation, it does not mean all hope is lost – you just might need to find outside help. But choosing a person or company to care for your loved one isn’t easy. How do you know that you are making the right choice? This is an important decision. After all, you don’t want to choose just anyone to care for your Mom or Dad – this is the person who will be with them when you can’t be. You have to find the right fit.

Many families struggle with this decision – but there are ways to make the planning a little bit easier. Begin by including your Mom or Dad in the conversation. This isn’t just an adjustment for the family, but for them too. They have most likely been independent their entire adult lives and now have to adjust to being cared for by a stranger.

Don’t be surprised if your parent is in denial about the help they need. There is a lot of pride and dignity with our older generations and sometimes they can have a hard time accepting help or acknowledging that they need any at all. Of course, sometimes a parent may surprise you and accepts their reality right away – you just might find that you don’t need to convince them at all. Still, if your parent is struggling to come to terms with what they are facing, there are plenty of ways to help them.

Sometimes families may find that there’s a sibling who may be better talking with their mom or dad about difficult subject matters.  That sibling may be the best person to start the conversation. They can help to prepare the parent, and also remind them that outside help is the only solution for the time being.

Now you can consider whether you’d like to hire someone privately or hire a professional home care company. Remember, there are risks with hiring someone privately – like liability insurance, workers comp, running criminal background checks, and the risk that they may need to call in sick from time to time. Make sure that you discuss these risks with your family and loved one. If you decide to hire someone privately you will want to ensure that all possible protections are in place. If you choose to hire a professional company, these protections and many other benefits are taken care of. In that case, the family can use their energy focusing on their loved one.

Whether you’ve decided to hire a private individual or a professional company you’ll want to sit down with your family and your loved one and identify your loved one’s needs. It’s important that you include your parent in these tough conversations. By giving them a voice, you’re showing them that their input and opinion matters - and that they haven’t lost all of their independence.

I cannot stress enough how important it is that the family doesn’t exclude their loved one from these discussions and decisions. Too often, families start the process and make many of these decisions without including their loved one in the process. Recently, we met with a family who was ready to get outside care started for their mother, who was in her 90’s. They had already made a great deal of decisions – without consulting her. In fact, they didn’t even warn her of her new lifestyle until the day before her care began. When the mother met her new aide the next morning, she confided to her that she felt her family had gone behind her back. She was hurt that they excluded her from such an important event in her own life.

In the case of this particular woman, she had lived independently from the time she was 17 years old. Even now, in her late 90s, she was as independent as ever, with no cognitive or mental difficulties. Physically, though, she was beginning to falter. She was beginning to suffer falls on a semi-regular basis. Her family was understandably concerned that she may become seriously hurt or fall when there was no one there to help her.

This is a delicate situation for families and one that they undoubtedly make out of love. And, from time to time, there will be instances when it may be better or even necessary to make a decision without the involvement of the loved one. This could be for a number of reasons. Maybe they are dealing with cognitive issues like dementia and they cannot offer answers or input relating to their care. There are also times when a family’s loved one would really benefit from care, but they are determined not to get it, even after the family has sat down with them and were able to get them to agree – only to refuse the next day.

We have seen situations like this. A family recently met with one of our Case Managers and needed to have care for their mother. They had met with the Case Manager without their mother and informed them that their mother had experienced care previously for just two weeks. This usually means one or two things. First, the company sent someone inexperienced. Or, the client (in this case the mother) refused help.

In this situation it was because the mother did not want anyone helping her. The reason that we do an in-depth assessment and intake when initially meeting with families is so that we can learn as much about the person as possible. That way, we can ensure that they receive the best type of care for their needs – and connect them with a caregiver that would be a great fit. We never want to send “just anyone” to care for a person in need. The connection between the caregiver and the client they will be caring for is vital to the success of the care and the connection between them.

There is a lot that goes into ensuring there’s a good connection between the client and the caregiver. Afterall, this is one of the most important aspects of the care. This is the person they will be spending all of their time with – so they need to have shared interests and fit well together.

So, how do we find the right caregiver?

We begin by determining the type of care a person needs. This includes the amount of time that the help will be needed and the hands-on care that a client will need. If there are domestic needs around the home that are being neglected, we make sure that the caregiver is aware of them. Now, if you decide that a professional company is a better fit for your loved one, make sure to mention that to the case manager when you meet with them.

If the family decided to hire someone privately and will be posting the position publicly, they will want to make sure that they write a detailed description of the position. This is a good opportunity to share what your loved one needs - in terms of their care both personally and domestically. Since everyone’s needs are different, make sure to be as specific as possible. For example, if your loved one is diabetic, you will want to make sure you mention that, and make sure that the caregiver has experience working with diabetics. When creating the description, you will want to designate someone in the family to handle the interested candidates.

Make sure, for safety reasons, not to divulge any of your loved one’s personal information. This includes their name, phone number, or address. It’s ok to list the city so that anyone who is interested will know the area they live in. Next, decide where and how you will conduct the interviews. It is always a good idea to schedule the initial interview in a public place. With the current situation with COVID, you may need to make some adjustments.

Remember to take these interviews very seriously. This isn’t like working in retail or even in an office. These positions are very personal. There is a great deal of responsibility involved when another person relies on you. This could mean making sure that their medications are being taken on time and appropriately, attending their doctor appointments, helping with their daily nutrition, and so many other things that sometimes are just taken for granted when you do them naturally.

Take the time to get to know the person you are interviewing. If your loved one has a cat, make sure they aren’t allergic, and that they like cats. Are they social and talkative? If they are and your loved one loves to visit that could be a really nice connection between the two of them. What are their interests and hobbies? You know your loved one better than anyone, so you’ll be able to see how you think this person will connect with them.

When you think you have found the right caregiver, reach out and let them know that you think they would be a nice fit for your loved one. Then, ask them to provide you with 3-5 professional references. These should include people they have either cared for privately or companies that they have worked for. This will help you to know a little more about their character as well as their dependability. Remember, your loved one and family will be relying on this caregiver to be there for them.

If the caregiver agrees to move forward, you will need to create a work contract. You can create this at any time, even before you officially hire someone. We would recommend contacting your attorney or finding one to help create the contract for you so that you and your loved one are protected. They’ll provide the details that you will need and make sure that every detail is accounted for.

The contract will cover things like:

Pay rate and wages.

Hours they are being hired to work.

Social Security Number (for background and tax purposes)

The job description that they have agreed to fulfill.

Behaviors that are grounds for dismissal. This will include things like tardiness, calling off, smoking, drugs, abusive language or behavior, etc.)

Termination. This would include (how much notice is needed, reasons for termination without notice, etc.)

Then you or maybe another sibling helping with this portion of the process and the candidate would sign and date the contract.

When hiring someone privately, have your attorney advise you on what you will be responsible for, so you can make sure your family and loved one are protected in the event of an accident or injury. They can advise you on workers comp, taxes, liability insurance, and bonding of the caregiver.

The next step that you will need to do is the background, motor vehicle report, and drug screening. There is never a reason to skip this step or take the word of the candidate that they have a good driving record and clean background. Some candidates may even arrive with a recent background that they just completed. Always be sure to do your own.

After the background screenings, it’s time for the caregiver to meet with your loved one. This will be a great opportunity to give the caregiver a tour of your loved one’s home and show them where medications, cleaning supplies, and other day-to-day items are kept.

When the caregiver finally begins caring for your loved one, there will be an adjustment period for everyone – including the caregiver. They may have years of experience, but they don’t have any experience with your loved one.

If you’re able to be present on their first day, stop by for a little while to see how they are doing. Still, don’t stay too long because it can sometimes be easy for a loved one to think you can stay longer and come by more often and then they won’t need a caregiver. This typically happens with the loved one is already against having help. If everything goes well after the first week or so – and your loved one is happy and enjoying their new friend -  it will hopefully bring you peace of mind.

The last step you may want to consider is to start thinking about a back-up plan for those unexpected and expected times your caregiver may not be able to work. There may be times they are sick, have a funeral, have car issues, or be on vacation. Finding someone that you either know or that replied to your job description will hopefully be a little easier than when you first went through it before. Eventually, you will want this person to shadow your regular caregiver once or twice. That way, when they do need to be there, they won’t be completely unfamiliar with your loved one and their routine.

We hope that you find the right caregiver for your loved one and that it helps them to continue living healthily, safely, and with dignity. Having the right caregiver makes all the difference.

We want to thank you for joining us here at All Home Care Matters, All Home Care Matters is here for you and to help families as they navigate long-term care issues. Please visit us at allhomecarematters.com there is a private secure fillable form there where you can give us feedback, show ideas, or if you have questions. Every form is read and responded to. If you know someone who could benefit from this episode, please share it with them.

Remember, you can listen to the show on any of your favorite podcast streaming platforms and watch the show on our YouTube channel and make sure to hit that subscribe button, so you'll never miss an episode. Please Join us next time on All Home Care Matters where we will be discussing an issue that many seniors face and especially now during the pandemic the issue has become even worse and that’s Combating Isolation.

 

Sources:

https://www.nwpc.com/health-care-and-the-sandwich-generation-infographic/

https://www.tn-elderlaw.com/free-resources/resources/ten-tips-for-choosing-a-caregiver-for-an-elder

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-home-care-matters/id1513502341?i=1000486838856

https://www.allhomecarematters.com

 

Episode 46 – Anticipatory Grief and The Decline Of A Loved One

Even as adults, we tend to view our parents and grandparents as invincible. They have always been the strong ones; the ones to lift us up when we fall, to comfort us when we are feeling down, to remind us that we are loved on the days we feel alone. It can be a shock to the system when suddenly, the roles are reversed, and it’s our turn to care for them. On some level, we knew that this stage of life was coming, but we still can’t be prepared to face it until we just don’t have a choice.

Watching a loved one decline is far from an easy process – in fact, it can be utterly heart wrenching. While we want our loved one’s inevitable aging to happen gradually, the truth is that oftentimes, the shift from independent to dependent happens quite suddenly. You might be left feeling unprepared and overwhelmed as you begin your new role as a caretaker. You might also experience what is known as anticipatory grief.

Anticipatory grief takes place before a loved one’s death. It can begin as soon as you notice signs of decline. If your father is starting to lose his keys on a regular basis or your mother can no longer get out of a chair without assistance. If you have noticed that in these moments, you feel a sudden pang of sadness, frustration, or even resentment, that’s anticipatory grief sinking in.

Remember when you notice these feelings, that they are completely normal and even expected as you face this difficult time. Many people feel guilty when they are grieving before a loss – like they are giving up hope for their loved one. This is not the case. As long as you are there for your loved one - encouraging them and showing them your love and support – you are not giving up on them.

Even if you know that your loved one is not going to make it, anticipatory grief still doesn’t equate to giving up. It is merely a way for your brain to comprehend the terrible reality you are facing – so you can help yourself get through it. Never feel guilty for grieving. Grief, after all, shows just how powerful your love is. 

Anticipatory grief can hit a lot faster if your loved one was recently diagnosed with an illness. You might find that you are facing one of the five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, or acceptance - as soon as you find out. The five stages of grief are not reserved for those grieving a permanent loss and they do not occur in any particular order. Most people facing grief will switch between the stages frequently. If they are experiencing anticipatory grief, they might feel angry more often or have a hard time controlling their emotions at all.   

Anticipatory grief isn’t just grief for a loss to come. It’s also grief for the changes you are noticing in your loved one. These changes can feel enormous and confusing, so be gentle with yourself as you learn to accept them. You might find, too, that you’re especially taken by the small changes. You might have memories of the sound your mother’s feet made as they paraded down the stairs in the morning. When you listen to the wheels of her chair turn instead, or the slow and quiet thumps of her struggling feet, you might find yourself suddenly awash in sadness.

You also might find yourself getting impatient with your loved ones. You are not used to your father taking so long to eat his breakfast or your mother having to put so much focus into remembering something. It can feel frustrating, irritating, and even maddening as you watch them struggle with everyday tasks. These feelings are completely normal. They are instinctual reactions that occur as a defense mechanism against sadness.

On a subconscious level, your mind does not want to accept that anything is wrong, so you fight against the warning signs. You’re angry because if you are sad, you are admitting that there is a problem. That your father isn’t just eating slowly because he wants to, he’s eating slowly because that’s all he can do these days.

Try to remind yourself in these moments that it is just as frustrating for your parent as it is for you. In fact, it’s probably a lot more frustrating. Your parent does not want to lose their independence, does not want to admit that they are struggling either. So, when you feel angry, try to remember why you are angry. Getting to the root of those feelings will help you to maintain control of them, so you don’t take them out on Mom and Dad. It’s more important than ever to be patient and gentle.

Remember, too, that it’s okay to feel angry. Even though you don’t want to take that out on your parents, still allow yourself to face those feelings when they are not present. Vent to a spouse or a friend. Scream into a pillow. The best way to get through these feelings is to face them. Give yourself permission to do so, no matter how ugly the feelings might seem.

One way to help yourself process these difficult emotions is to acknowledge the losses you are facing. This is another instance where you are getting to the root of the pain, so you can be prepared to overcome it. You might feel like it’s wrong to feel so sad while your mother or father is still here but acknowledging the gravity of what you are facing is validating and strengthening. By acknowledging your losses, you are giving yourself permission to feel. And when you are letting yourself feel what you need to, you are helping yourself get through.

It is also common during this time to feel like you’re in a constant state of panic. You might jolt every time the phone rings, have trouble sleeping normally, or struggle to concentrate at work. This can be mentally and physically exhausting – and when we put exhaustion on top of the stack of other emotions we are dealing with, we will find that we have little control over our emotions.

It’s important to take time for yourself during this period. Feelings of panic are inevitable, but when you find that they are controlling your life, it’s time to take a step back and focus on tending to yourself. Take fifteen minutes each day to do something distracting for yourself: walking, drawing, reading, anything that you love that will calm your mind. Focus on your breathing. Hydrate.

These tips might seem like a waste of time, especially given the gravity of what you are facing, but they can actually make an enormous difference. Breathing exercises can slow your speedy heartrate down when you’re feeling panicked. Taking time for yourself each day can help you feel re-energized and relaxed. The more you care for yourself, the more you can care for your loved one.

On that note, you are also doing yourself a great service if you reach out for support during this time. Find someone who you can talk to, who will provide a safe space for you to talk through your feelings. By sharing your feelings out loud, you are actually helping your brain to start to process them in a healthy and healing way. Your support system might also be able to offer insight and advice that can help you get through this tough period.  

Try not to neglect the other important things in your life. Your loved ones decline is a priority, of course, but if you center your entire life around it – you are depriving yourself of finding any type of relief. Remember, feeling a sense of calm or peace is not a bad thing. It’s not something to feel guilty about. You must take care of yourself in order to take care of others.

Anticipatory grief does provide an opportunity to plan for the remaining time. If you are anticipating that there may not be a lot of time left, you and your loved one can decide the most meaningful ways to spend it together. This can provide an opportunity for enormous comfort – even through the pain. Fill that time with as much love as you can muster up, so that you can cherish those moments forever. You can celebrate your loved one’s life with her, by sharing stories, looking through photographs, and remembering together.

If your parent is up for it, ask her questions about her life. If you would rather not face the past, you can also enjoy the present. Have movie nights, play board games, read books together. Any time together will be cherished, regardless of how you spend it.

When the day comes where you finally have to say goodbye, give yourself permission to feel whatever you need to. Anger, sadness, depression. Even relief. Taking care of a declining loved one can be exhausting and heartbreaking. When you find that you are no longer living in a prolonged state of worry and fear, you might feel like a weight was lifted from your shoulders. That is okay. That does not mean you don’t love and miss your parent – it’s a normal reaction to letting go of a particularly difficult period in your life.

 If you find that you are not experiencing anger, sadness, or panic when your loved one is declining, don’t feel guilty. Remember, this process looks differently for everyone. For many people, it’s gradual and expected and it’s not as difficult to accept the reality of the situation. It’s okay if what you feel is acceptance.

The most important thing to remember as you navigate this new and difficult journey, is to give yourself permission to feel. Find a safe space to confront your emotions. Continue to shed your parent or grandparent with love. Be gentle and patient with yourself. This is not an easy time – so give yourself the freedom to feel, if nothing else. And at the end of the day, keep in mind that all this grief that you are feeling is rooted in your love. 

We want to thank you for joining us here at All Home Care Matters, All Home Care Matters is here for you and to help families as they navigate long-term care issues. Please visit us at allhomecarematters.com there is a private secure fillable form there where you can give us feedback, show ideas, or if you have questions. Every form is read and responded to. If you know someone who could benefit from this episode, please share it with them.

Remember, you can listen to the show on any of your favorite podcast streaming platforms and watch the show on our YouTube channel and make sure to hit that subscribe button, so you'll never miss an episode. Please Join us next time on All Home Care Matters when we discuss finding the right caregiver.

 

 

Sources:

https://homecareassistance.com/blog/dementia-caregivers-help-overcome-grief

 

https://www.verywellhealth.com/understanding-anticipatory-grief-and-symptoms-2248855

 

https://whatsyourgrief.com/anticipatory-grief/

 

https://safepassageurns.com/blogs/blog/dont-deal-with-the-declining-health-of-a-family-member-by-yourself

 

https://www.neptunesociety.com/resources/preparing-for-the-death-of-a-terminally-ill-loved-one

 

https://abc11.com/2953331/

 

https://khn.org/news/the-long-goodbye-coping-with-sadness-and-grief-before-a-loved-one-dies/

 

 

 

Episode 45 – Transition from Driver to Non-Driver

As our loved ones grow older, there are many difficult decisions that we might have to discuss with them. When we notice their physical or mental health begin to decline, it is important that we make sure their new limitations are not putting them in danger.

Whether your mom is having trouble using the stairs or your dad is struggling to remember to turn the oven off, there are many new obstacles to look out for. One of these obstacles is driving – and making the transition from driver to non-driver can feel like a big blow to mom and dad – so it’s essential that you’re well prepared for the conversation. That means knowing the warning signs, understanding the emotional impact this decision will make, and having a transportation plan in place.

Many people are hesitant to begin this difficult conversation with their parents or grandparents. Without the ability to drive, our parents are stripped of a great deal of their freedom. No one wants to rely on someone else every time they need to run an errand or visit a friend. It’s easy to feel trapped at home with no access to a vehicle, especially for a person who is struggling with mobility – when walking might not be an option. Even so, it’s essential to take the steps to begin the transition.

It’s just too risky. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 712 older adult drivers are injured in car accidents every day. Of those, 19 older adults are killed. Further, according to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, people aged 70 or older have an increased chance of fatal car accidents – largely because their bodies are frail and are no longer prepared to protect them from major injury.

Now, we’re not saying that your Mom or Dad need to stop driving when they turn 70. If they are in great health and there are no warning signs to indicate that it’s time to turn in the keys, then you do not need to rush to make this decision. However, if your parent is showing the warning signs, you’ll want to begin the transition right away.

There are many red flags to look out for when it comes to your parents’ driving. If possible, join them for car rides so you can be aware of how they are doing behind the wheel. If you do not live nearby, have a trusted friend or family member drive around with them and report back to you.

Possible warning signs include failing to stop at red lights or stop signs, failing to slow down at yellow lights, failing to yield the right of way, failing to turn on turn signals, an inability to stay in the right lane, driving above or below the speed limit, and getting lost – especially on familiar routes.

It’s time to act when you notice more than one of these signs or notice that one sign is happening on a semi-frequent or frequent basis. Remember – everyone makes mistakes, so don’t jump to taking the keys if there’s one missed turn signal. But if your parent is getting lost or running reds, it’s essential to their safety and the safety of other drivers to get them off the road. 

If you’re not able to drive with your loved one and don’t have a friend available to do so, there are other ways to check in on their driving ability. In a gentle, non-confrontational way, you can ask your parent if they have obtained any traffic tickets recently. You can also ask if their car insurance has gone up – which may indicate that they’ve been pulled over. If you don’t think they will share this information with you, check their car for any signs of damage when Mom or Dad are not around – are their dents or scratches that might indicate a recent fender bender?

Check in with friends and family, too. If you find out that your Mom or Dad has been staying home more often than usual, or that they are coming up with excuses not to get behind the wheel, this could indicate that they know there’s a problem. If this is the case with your parent, it will likely be easier to begin the transition, as they are already beginning to accept the truth of the matter themselves.

Finally, if your parent or grandparent has been diagnosed with any age-related conditions, such as arthritis, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, or hearing or sight loss – it’s a wise move to stop them from driving. The same is true if your parent has recently suffered a stroke or seizure or if they are on new medications that have dizzying or drowsy side effects.

If you notice any or all of these warning signs, it’s time to begin the conversation. Remember, this conversation can be an especially difficult one, so you want to go about it in a kind, gentle, and patient manner. Many older adults do not want to accept when it’s time to let go of the keys. Not only will they be losing a significant amount of their freedom, but they will also have to face the hard truth that they are not as spry and capable as they once were.

When you begin the conversation, try your best not to sound accusatory or impatient. You want your loved one to know that you support them and you are on their side – that you will help them to make this transition as easy as possible. If they feel that you are lecturing them or belittling them, they are less likely to listen to what you have to say.

An excellent way to begin the conversation is with a question. Ask your loved one how they feel they are doing behind the wheel. Then, have them tell you their own anxieties and concerns when it comes to being on the road. If you are noticing that your parent has been struggling behind the wheel, they most likely have to – and could use someone to vent to about it. Allowing them to navigate this conversation in a safe, supportive setting can also guide them into making the decision to stop driving themselves.

Acknowledge your loved one’s fears. If your mom or dad is worried about how they will get to their appointments and activities, validate this feeling. Rather than offering a solution right away, listen to their fears and appreciate them. Say things like, “I know you are worried that giving up driving might mean losing some of the things you love.” Then, after you’ve acknowledged this, gently come up with a solution together – that you both feel great about. Whether that’s setting up a carpool or creating a public transportation plan, make sure it’s a solution that your mom or dad can come to terms with.

Be willing to have a long conversation. It’s common for the driving discussion to turn into a time of reminiscing – about previous road trips, the day your parent got his first car, or even seemingly unrelated memories. Try not to interrupt your parent or get them back on track – remembering is an important part of the grieving process and losing the ability to drive is a loss that your parent must grieve. You will likely find that after a sentimental trip down memory lane, your parent might even be more willing to let go and move on.

Finally, you can always have your parents’ doctor break the news when it’s time to stop driving. Your parent is likely to listen to a medical professional, especially if there is a health reason to stop driving like Parkinson’s disease or another ailment. The doctor will be able to explain the situation in a polite, formal matter that will be difficult to argue with.

If all else fails, you can write a letter to the DMV explaining your parents’ situation. The hard truth is this isn’t a debate you want to lose. If you’ve noticed the warning signs, then it’s simply too dangerous for them to be on the road anymore. Contacting the DMV without consulting your parent first, however, should be a last resort.

The good news is that, except in extreme circumstances, your loved one will not have to stop driving all at once.

Create a plan with your mom or dad in which they are driving only under safer conditions. Usually, this means only driving during the day – not during heavy traffic hours – and only in familiar areas. It may be necessary to reschedule appointments and events to match this new driving schedule – if your parent or grandparent is especially active at night, encourage them to move some of their activities to the daytime.

Gradually, your parent will transition away from driving altogether. When this happens, make sure you know their schedule and have a ride available for them – whether it’s public transportation or carpool. It will be a hard adjustment, but it will be a big relief to know that your loved one is safe. If you are able to help them make a slow transition from driving to not driving, this will make the process even easier.

It’s not easy for our loved ones to accept when it’s time to stop driving – but we know that sometimes it’s the only choice. Remember to be patient, gentle, and have a plan in place.

We want to thank you for joining us here at All Home Care Matters, All Home Care Matters is here for you and to help families as they navigate long-term care issues. Please visit us at allhomecarematters.com there is a private secure fillable form there where you can give us feedback, show ideas, or if you have questions. Every form is read and responded to. If you know someone who could benefit from this episode, please share it with them.

Remember, you can listen to the show on any of your favorite podcast streaming platforms and watch the show on our YouTube channel and make sure to hit that subscribe button, so you'll never miss an episode. Please Join us next time on All Home Care Matters when we will be talking about a difficult topic that many families deal with and that is the Decline of a Loved One.

 

 

Sources:

https://www.whereyoulivematters.org/how-to-know-when-your-parents-should-stop-driving/

 

https://dailycaring.com/7-warning-signs-how-to-know-when-your-parents-should-stop-driving/

 

https://thedoctorweighsin.com/senior-parent-stop-driving/

 

https://homecareassistance.com/blog/elderly-parent-driving

 

https://www.caring.com/caregivers/senior-driving/

 

https://www.presbyterianseniorliving.org/blog/how-to-tell-mom-its-time-to-stop-driving

 

https://www.aarp.org/auto/driver-safety/info-2016/when-to-stop-driving-in-older-age.html

 

https://www.seniorsmatter.com/when-elderly-parents-should-stop-driving-11-warning-signs/2491829

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1447231/

 

Episode 44 -

We know that relocating parents is not only a difficult decision to make, but a difficult transition that can last over a period of months or even years. Helping our parents make the transition to assisted living is never easy.

Today, we’ll discuss signs for when it’s time to make the move, how to talk to our parents about leaving independent living, and how to make the transition comfortable for everyone.

If you're fortunate when the time comes that your parents begin needing care and extra help you and your siblings will work together to find the best solution for your parent’s needs.

The reality is that not all families have that benefit and for many families there are divisions and other factors that divide siblings rather than unite them. We discuss tips for talking with your siblings and discussing ways to get the support from them so that you can find ways to work together to care for your parents

If you have cared for a loved one before then you know first-hand that it can be difficult to find time to do the things that you use to enjoy and if you’re caring for a loved one right now, then today’s topic will hopefully help to make it a little easier for you as you care for your loved one.

We are going to be discussing some of the top books for family caregivers. This is a subjective list and the titles we found helpful to families as they have gone through their caregiving journey.

This year New Year’s eve is going to look a lot different than in years past. There won’t New Year’s eve parties or large gatherings at a friend’s home to ring in the New Year, and many of us will be celebrating at home watching the New Year come in on television from our couches.

For many families they will be ringing in the New Year without some of their loved ones for the very first time. We are preparing to embrace a New Year and with it the prospect and hope of a better year

It can be devastating to watch our parents or grandparents begin to slow down. It’s a major adjustment for everyone involved, as families learn how to provide care and talk about new ailments with their loved ones, without sacrificing anyone’s independence.

This difficulty reaches a new height when it’s time to think about wearing custom briefs, also known as adult diapers. We will discuss how to approach that conversation when the time comes they may need to consider wearing brief

Need ideas for celebrating Christmas with seniors? A quarantine Christmas isn’t going to be easy – especially for the older adults in our lives. In today’s episode, we’ll dive into ideas for the pandemic holiday – including gift ideas for quarantine, virtual activities, and safe, face-to-face fun.

On this episode learn how you can make Christmas special for your elderly family members in 2020 and be sure to hit that subscribe button so you never miss out on a new episode.

We are excited to welcome Josh Crisp to the show. Josh is a senior living executive who has over 14 years in the development, construction, and management of senior living across the Southeast and is the founder and CEO of Solinity a senior living development and management company that is helping to reshape the industry to help better meet the needs of the aging and create intergenerational communities.

If you want to learn more about Josh and Solinity visit Solinity.com.