Am I doing it wrong? For Doctors by Doctors.

If your current strategy to deal with your concerns, fears and anxieties are to dismiss them, this episode is for you.

Doctors aren't generally used to being BAD at things. But Becc has recognised something that we're pretty bad at across the board. 

Self-validation

She's very passionate about bringing this skill to doctors for the benefit of both our professional and personal lives. 

Why? Because it's extremely productive. 

And because invalidating ourselves can be extremely destructive. 

What is self-validation? What does it mean to validate yourself? The simplest way to think about self-validation is that it's the opposite of self-denial, dismissal and resisting our own experience. 

The objection to self-validating that Becc has found to be ubiquitous in her high-achieving, successful clients is that looking by giving more attention to the 'negative' aspects of our experience, we'll only magnify them. That they'll then be more likely to play out in our behaviours or take up more space in our minds.

Paradoxically, it's *usually* the opposite. 

Think… Can you can recall many experiences where resisting and denying yourself has cost an enormous amount of attention and energy? That's attention and energy that can't go to your productive outputs. 

In this episode, Kristeen and Becc talk about Becc's BOARDROOM MODEL OF THE MIND which helps us relate to our minds in a different way. This analogy helps us to make decisions about how to treat the competing, conflicting and concerning thoughts that are normal and expected in the mind of someone taking on challenges and risks on their missions in life. 

Ready to change your mind? 

Ready to treat yourself differently?

Join us and let us know if this resonates with you!

Join the ASK SANTA broadcast channel: https://www.instagram.com/doctor_becc/

This week on the podcast, we're inviting you to a challenge for December: THE "ASK SANTA" CHALLENGE. 

This is a challenge for you to take on the "Ask Santa" mindset. 

Ask Santa is a permission-giving mindset. 

It's a mindset that, at its foundation, asks you to stop auto-rejecting your wants and wishes and start honouring and acting on them. 

Years ago, Becc noticed she'd developed a pattern of reflexively silencing the sentences that started as 

"I wish…"

"It would be great if…"

"Wouldn't it be nice if.."

With her mind dismissively responding

"That's unrealistic"

"You shouldn't ask"

"You should just be easy"

"You should just accept"

"Don't be too much"

"Don't inconvenience them"

"They'll feel like they have to say yes"

"They wouldn't say no even if they wanted to"

"Don't risk putting pressure on them"

So, before she'd even considered what she wanted, she'd counted herself out. 

Here's the thing about Santa. 

If you don't write the letter, how can he fulfil your wish?

And, if you don't believe in Santa, you won't ask for what you want. And, so, you won't get it. 

If you don't believe, you won't receive. 

Or, more accurately, if you don't believe, YOU WON'T ASK, and so you won't receive. 

When we allow these responses that arise in our minds to make what we want seem unreasonable or unrealistic, we don't act like it's possible - we don't ask for it. 

We need to allow ourselves to believe in order to get in the arena. 

And, it's time to get in the arena. 

In this podcast, we talk about the what and why of the ASK SANTA mindset. It's about expanding your life, taking up space and advocating for yourself, and assuming the best. 

It’s not about whether you got a 'yes' or 'no' from Santa but about making yourself heard - first and foremost, by yourself. 

We would love to hear if you're going to join the challenge! OR what fears come up and get in the way when we challenge you to ASK for what you wish. 

We all leave behind a trail of unanswered questions in our day-to-day lives. 

As a doctor working in the boundless universe of things we can know to make us better doctors, asking questions at opportune moments is an advantage that can't be compensated for with publications and uptodate articles. 

In this podcast, we talk about Becc's accidental step out of her integrity when she let herself silence a clinical question that arose in her mind. 

There are many reasons any of us may not ask a question when it would otherwise be in our integrity to do so. 

It reveals our knowledge gaps 

We think we "should know this by now"

We think it's not acceptable not to know the answer 

We think we should learn it ourselves, on our own time

We don't want our colleagues to draw false assumptions about us 

We don't want our colleagues to draw true assumptions about us 

We assume people don't want to take time to answer questions 

We think asking the question is annoying 

We don't want others to feel frustrated with us 

We don't want to make others uncomfortable if they don't know the answer 

We would rather avoid any negative reaction

We decide it's not worth it if there's a possibility of a negative reaction 

We are uncomfortable taking up space

We are uncomfortable asking for others' time 

We don't think we have 'earned' the question 

And this is just a small sample of thoughts that can accidentally get in our way. 

There's another component too. 

Simply not being present and intentional. 

Being present and intentional are critical ingredients for creating change in our lives. This requires core skills of mindfulness and directing attention (focus). It also often requires some time spent in advance to decide what helpful rules you create for yourself in advance of opportunities. 

For example, you might decide in advance, like Becc, that you will err of the side of asking questions. In this case, the decision in the moment has been made simpler - I will ask my questions UNLESS there is an outstanding exception (say, time-critical situations). 

There's a lot to be said for setting intentions, especially when you consider biases of minds such as CONFIRMATION BIAS. 

If we set an intention of asking questions - and taking opportunities to ask more questions, we will register more opportunities in my day. Opportunities that may have been missed if we were prioritising other things. 

Have you ever suppressed or dismissed a clinical question that arose in your mind?

What do you think drove the suppression?

Let us know! We can't wait to talk with you about this one. 

The first rule: do not harm.

TIME TO HANDOVER!

Oh. No.

This is a MAJOR part of being a doctor that doesn't get enough attention. It needs to be done well to create good outcomes - for our patients and for ourselves as doctors and teammates. 

As the doctor coming on, you have a short period of time to extract all of this important information from your colleague. Information that isn't always documented or possible to find elsewhere. You're receiving a lot of important information at once. You're also often handed a lot of uncertainty. 

As the doctor giving the handover, you're synthesising and summarising to save your colleague's precious brain space. And you're not only communicating what you do know but, importantly, what you don't know. 

… That's a lot.

And it's the perfect storm for these mindsets of perfectionism, imposter syndrome and people-pleasing to come along and make your life harder. 

In this episode, we want to talk about the BAD EXPERIENCES we have in handover. And, of course, how to make a bad handover better for you. 

You can find the COST OF LIVING exercise & checklist here: https://bit.ly/47kSG8b.

When you sign up for the email list, not only will you receive the exercise but Becc guide you through it with self-coaching lessons & prompts straight to your inbox over the next 4 weeks. 

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Why are doctors burned out?

What's the solution to burnout?

How does the healthcare system need to change to solve burnout?

What is moral injury? Is moral injury or burnout the problem?

How to change the way you use your time to improve your burnout (hint: it's not 'be more efficient')

Can time management REALLY fix burnout?

THIS EPISODE is an important episode for anyone out there who is not feeling like they're living a life that they enjoy living in. This episode is not only for doctors who are at that awful, end stage of burnout but it's for anyone who feels like 

… your hand work isn't 'working' - it's not giving you back the results you want 

… you're willing to work hard but it's not feeling worth it 

… no matter how hard you work, you're not getting the results you want 

… no matter how hard you work, it's not fixing the problems

… no matter how hard you work, it's not filling you up 

The way that the burnout conversation is oversimplified at the moment has a lot of highly intelligent people feeling stuck.

The problem is, if burnout is a problem of working too hard… Of workloads being too high… Of trying to do too much with too little. 

We're stuck. 

Our only option is to work less or to work less hard. In our current system, that brings up unacceptable subsequent problems for doctors: 

"BUT my patients will be the ones who miss out and suffer if I do less"

"BUT my colleagues will just have to do more if I do less"

Enter: MORAL INJURY. 

Here, the only option is to 

… allow our patients to have a lesser standard of care 

… put our equally stretched, distressed and struggling colleagues under more pressure

Those solutions are simply not acceptable to us. 

Notice, we can either work less hard to solve our burnout… But then we face moral injury. 

Or 

We can lessen the moral injury at the cost of working more and becoming burnt out. 

We think the problem is working too much. 

So we need to work less.

But when we work less, the consequences are unacceptable. 

It's no surprise that we feel STUCK. 

… trapped 

… defeated 

… hopeless

The current burnout conversation largely centres around what is DRAINING & DEPLETING us. And that's an incredibly important aspect of burnout. 

But if we don’t look at the other side of the equation, we miss out on the other half of the solutions available to us: what's ENERGISING & FULFILLING to us. 

In this episode, we talk about common misunderstandings of burnout that keep us reliant on solutions that don't address the problem. We uproot the thought errors that perpetuate these cycles working hard to over-compensate for an inadequate healthcare system. 

We talk about THE OTHER SIDE of the burnout equation: doing meaningful, fulfilling work. And how we can realistically do that in the setting of an under-resourced healthcare system. 

We can't wait to have meaningful discussions WITH YOU about burnout, moral injury, and how we can ultimately change this system for doctors. Whether you agree, disagree or a mixture, we want to hear from you. See you in the comments!

What's a common feature of a doctor's life? The DEADLINE AVALANCHE

One deadline... Piece of cake

Two deadlines... No problem 

Three deadlines... Okay we can do this 

Four deadlines... IT'S ONLY TUESDAY 

Time management 101 isn't enough to save us in this situation of competing demands and conflicting priorities 

The deadline avalanche can be managed by SURVIVING. This looks like staying up late to get everything done, forgoing things you'd rather keep, and even sacrificing things you said you wouldn't. 

Becc can't forget missing a wedding of a loved one when she was in med school. At the time, it seemed necessary to meet the demands of these deadlines. 

On the other hand, the option is not always obvious as a possibility... is THRIVING in the deadline avalanche. What this requires is DIVERTING resources away 

It's true, we can't do it all. 

But it's okay, because we CAN do what's important. 

So here's the catch - and the strategy. To free up our resources for what's important, we need TAKE THEM from somewhere else. 

And we can hear some of you… PERMISSION TO DO LESS? I'm IN. 

And then some of you like… PERMISSION TO DO LESS? … But … It won't be good enough 

THOUGHT: It won't meet the mark unless I give all of my effort

Becc used to have this same thought process. And it meant that she could never give herself permission to give less than 100% effort to any of these competing deadlines. It was too much of a risk. 

The problem with this is, she also never tried less than 100% to see if it would suffice. 

Evidence base for success giving LESS THAN 100% effort: nil 

Evidence base for success giving 100% effort: robust 

When we say 'There's no evidence for that' in medicine, we want to be clear if we're trying to communciate: 

"There's experiments that don't show evidence for that to be true"

OR

"There's no experiments that investigate that question"

And here's what we have to offer on this: 

The belief that is POSSIBLE that less than 100% effort needs to be strong enough for you to choose to do the experiment. If you don't believe it's possible, why try, right?

So, here's an invitation from our shared experience: 

It's possible that you can GIVE LESS EFFORT to some of these deadlines WITHOUT LOSING ANYTHING. 

With that extra effort diverted to the deadlines that are IMPORTANT, it's possible you can GAIN A LOT.

The key here is first getting clear on what's important before your mind gets carried away with what's urgent. 

When you are clear about what's IMPORTANT, you'll have the fuel for the bravery required to divert resources away from its competition. 

Sometimes good enough is good enough. 

What do you think?

👫👭👬 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎

📽 Kristeen's Youtube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/3JaSHBE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

👋 Kristeen's Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/4aKX5mq⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

📽 Becc's Youtube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/3TQbLKl⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

👋 Becc's Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/3QgkTqT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Do you need to start to VALUE YOURSELF & reclaim a life that's been hijacked by obligation and external validation? Join Dare, Darling, Doctor Becc's Group Coaching Membership where we MAKE EMPATHETIC DOCTORS UNSHAKEABLE.

🔐 APPLY for a spot in the next cohort at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.doctorbecc.com.au.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

_________________

This episode is for you if you've just failed your exams.

Firstly, we're so glad you're here. As you'll hear on this episode, one of the most important and adaptive steps you can take if you're struggling with this failure is facing your reality instead of - what we all want to do - hide from it.

This episode is not your typical pep talk post-failure where we tell you to c'est-la-vie-it or don't-worry-about-it. We're not going to ask you to look on the bright side, just think positive or distract yourself until one day you wake up and it's not the first thing you think of.

Let's face this failure together.

This episode is also for you if you have 'failures' from the past that still haunt you. And we know that's not uncommon. That's because it's very common for doctors to have developed perfectionism and imposter syndrome mindsets. These mindsets allow their past 'failures' to carry into our present and future because of what we make the failure mean.

We're going to walk through the first steps of how to deal with this failure that doesn't involve a unhealthy avoidance nor a toxic positivity. You'll learn:

💌 The first steps you can take to face what's happened

💌 What thoughts to look for that might be the source of your pain

💌 What to do with the strong emotions that come up

💌 When you *shouldn't* talk about it

💌 How to deal with people's unwelcomed comments

You know what comments are welcome? YOURS.

We would love to open a long overdue honest and humble discussion about our failures as doctors. Leading nicely on from our last podcast on GROWTH MINDSET (episode 7), when we normalise failures, we are more productive and effective in the world.

We know we're not alone in our failures. But it's easy to forget that when no one talks about their experiences. So, we'd be so grateful for your contribution to create a more growth-minded, open and honest culture for doctors.

See you in the comments!

"That's a competitive specialty!"

Doctors, 

… If you having medical interviews in sight

… Or a cover letter to write

… If you've got a specialty in mind that you want to set yourself up over the next few years to apply for 

… Or if you're trying to understand if you need to do this research or that

… If you're wondering whether it's worth your time when it's 'so competitive' 

… If you're wondering whether the rat race is worth it to you at all

… Or if you're wondering what exactly this rat race that everyone is talking about is 

Then, this episode is for you. 

Kristeen shares the things that propelled her forwards despite all the barriers she came across in becoming a Specialist Nephrologist in Melbourne Australia. All of the way from Scotland no less.

This episode is full of those statements we hear over and over again as doctors that can get in our head and have us hold ourselves back. 

By bringing these statements into the light and using a process of inquiry, we can start to loosen the grips that these statements have on us - and the impact that they have on our career decisions. 

Kristeen also shares some incredible resources she's created on medical interviews, cover letters and competitive specialties. 

Has anyone ever said to you, "That's a competitive specialty!"

Let us know below. Your experience and perspective is so valuable to this community. We can't wait to chat with you. 

Most of us would say we are the type of person with a growth mindset. We're doctors, right? We signed up for a career of ongong learning skill development.

But, if you know the growth mindset well, you know that it's not something that you 'are' or 'aren't'. It's not a personality trait. It is, by definition, a mindset. A mindset that we can shift in and out of.

And it's not uncommon for ourselves and our colleagues to be in a fixed mindset rather than a growth mindset when it comes to medicine.

When we're in a fixed mindset, it means that we interpret our performance or current capabilities as measures that reveal our intrinsic capacity. Our capabilities are 'fixed' if you like, and you can see where they're fixed reflected in exactly where you are right now.

In a growth mindset, on the other hand, we understand that our current performance or level of achievement isn't telling of we're capable of.

In this episode, we share examples of places in our lives in the past and present where we're in a fixed mindset as opposed to a growth mindset. We reflect and recognise the consequences we face of being in the fixed mindset including, importantly, the opportunities we miss out on.

We discuss how it can be challenging to be in a growth mindset in our work as clinicians where the stakes are high when it comes to getting things wrong and making mistakes. We also discuss how we see the fixed mindset widely in medcial culture from medical students to consults with our unwillingness to openly express our knowledge and skill gaps.

Being in a fix mindset creates self-imposed and self-fulfilling limitations in our performance and our opportunities. A growth mindset is also a self-fulfiling prophecy - it promotes learning and creates opportunites.

To stop and reflect on where we're in a fixed mindset gives us an opportunity to authentically switch to a growth mindset - or to engage in the work we need to do to make that available to us.

Ready? Join our conversation!