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Am I doing it wrong? For Doctors by Doctors.
Am I doing it wrong? For Doctors by Doctors. episodes
- 45: Doctors, numbing your emotions can steal more than you think. Break the cycle with us.
👫👭👬 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
📽 Kristeen's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3JaSHBE
👋 Kristeen's Instagram: https://bit.ly/4aKX5mq
📽 Becc's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3TQbLKl
👋 Becc's Instagram: https://bit.ly/3QgkTqT
Do you need to start to VALUE YOURSELF & reclain a life that's been hijacked by obligation and external validation? Join Dare, Darling, Doctor Becc's Group Coaching Membership where we MAKE EMPATHETIC DOCTORS UNSHAKEABLE.
🔐 APPLY for a spot in the next cohort at www.doctorbecc.com.au.
________________________
Hey Doctor Humans!
Have you be zoning out recently?
Hosts Kristeen Barker and Dr. Becc understand. In this episode, they delve into the world of numbing behaviours, sharing personal experiences with excessive scrolling, overworking, and more.
Discover how to break free from these patterns, reconnect with yourself, and prioritise self-care.In this episode of "Am I Doing It Wrong?", Kristeen Barker and Dr. Becc tackle the common issue of numbing behaviours. They explore how common practices like excessive scrolling, overworking, and unhealthy eating habits can be used as a way to avoid difficult emotions.
By sharing personal stories of their own struggles, the hosts emphasise the importance of self-awareness and recognising when these behaviours become detrimental.
Key points include:
✔️ The difference between life-enhancing and numbing behaviours.
✔️ What you miss out on when you choose numbing behaviours
✔️ Strategies for breaking free from the cycle of numbing.
✔️ The importance of self-compassion and avoiding self-judgment.
✔️ How noticing numbing offers an opportunity for you to gain key emotional regulation skills.
Gain insights into your own numbing habits and be inspired to break the cycle for yourself - over and over again.
Have you been numbing lately? Let us know in the comments your go-to numbing habit.
40 min - 44: Why are you running late in clinic? HINT: it's not because you're not smart enough.
👫👭👬 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
📽 Kristeen's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3JaSHBE
👋 Kristeen's Instagram: https://bit.ly/4aKX5mq
📽 Becc's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3TQbLKl
👋 Becc's Instagram: https://bit.ly/3QgkTqT
Do you need to start to VALUE YOURSELF & reclain a life that's been hijacked by obligation and external validation? Join Dare, Darling, Doctor Becc's Group Coaching Membership where we MAKE EMPATHETIC DOCTORS UNSHAKEABLE.
🔐 APPLY for a spot in the next cohort at www.doctorbecc.com.au.
________________________
So, doctor humans,
... No matter how hard you try, you can't seem to keep to the appointment schedule. You're not alone!
In this episode of Am I Doing It Wrong, Dr. Becc and Kristeen Barker explore the surprising reasons why doctors often run late, and why it has almost nothing to do with your efficiency.
This episode of Am I Doing It Wrong tackles a common struggle for doctors: running behind in clinic. Hosts Dr. Becc and Kristeen Barker debunk the myth that doctors who run late are simply not good enough. Instead, they explore the hidden factors that contribute to this problem, such as unrealistic appointment times, unclear expectations, and the pressure to prioritise speed over quality care.
The episode also highlights the importance of self-compassion. Many doctors blame themselves for running late, leading to feelings of shame and frustration.
Dr. Becc and Kristeen encourage doctors to make choices in their practice that align with their professional standards of patient care, even if it means adjusting appointment times or clinic workflows.
Key points discussed:
- Doctors often feel like failures when they run late in clinic.
- The reasons for running late are often complex and not related to a doctor's competency.
- Unrealistic expectations, allowing medicare to suggest standards for doctors, people-pleasing your patients and being unwilling to take more authority are common reasons doctors run late.
- Doctors need to prioritise their own values and standards and practice in a way that feels authentic.
Are you struggling to keep to time in clinic too? Share your experiences and frustrations with us. Let's start a conversation about how to create a better system for doctors and patients alike.
45 min - 43: Doctors, GET BACK ON TRACK for 2024 with this easy protocol
👫👭👬 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
📽 Kristeen's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3JaSHBE
👋 Kristeen's Instagram: https://bit.ly/4aKX5mq
📽 Becc's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3TQbLKl
👋 Becc's Instagram: https://bit.ly/3QgkTqT
Do you need to start to VALUE YOURSELF & reclain a life that's been hijacked by obligation and external validation? Join Dare, Darling, Doctor Becc's Group Coaching Membership where we MAKE EMPATHETIC DOCTORS UNSHAKEABLE.
🔐 APPLY for a spot in the next cohort at www.doctorbecc.com.au.
________________________
Hello Doctor Humans!
Feeling overwhelmed and behind on your 2024 goals?
... Avoiding checking in with your goals at the midpoint of the year?
You're not alone! Dr. Kristeen Barker and Dr. Becc riff on the common pitfall of getting stuck in the weeds and forgetting to check-in with your big dreams. This episode is your pep talk to hit the pause button, re-evaluate, and get back on track to a thriving second half of the year.Dr. Kristeen Barker and Dr. Becc open the episode acknowledging the common struggle of doctors – feeling busy but not necessarily accomplishing what truly matters. They emphasise the importance of quarterly check-ins with your goals to avoid the feeling of overwhelm and disappointment.
Here are the key takeaways:
🧠 Confusing busyness with productivity: Just because you're working hard doesn't mean you're moving the needle on your goals. It's easy to get stuck in the comfort zone of busy work without actually achieving anything meaningful.
🧠 The Gap vs. The Gain: Our brains are wired to focus on the gap between where we are and where we want to be, leading to negativity and self-doubt. It's crucial to acknowledge your achievements and shift your mindset to focus on the progress you've made.
🧠 The Truth & Dare Protocol - Two Truths and a Dare: A helpful tool for self-reflection. Reflect on two truths (what went well and what didn't) and use the "dare" to identify one thing you'll do differently moving forward.Don't wait! Take some time to reflect on your 2024 goals. It doesn't need to be perfect or elaborate. Use the Two Truths and a Dare exercise for a simple check in protocol to get out of the gap & into the gain.
32 min - 42: BOUNDARIES for DOCTORS Mini-Series [Episode 3]
🔓 Here's the LINK to get the FREE BOUNDARIES CHEAT SHEET and exercise to help you EXECUTE: https://bit.ly/3KWdmua 📈
👫👭👬 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
📽 Kristeen's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3JaSHBE
👋 Kristeen's Instagram: https://bit.ly/4aKX5mq
📽 Becc's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3TQbLKl
👋 Becc's Instagram: https://bit.ly/3QgkTqT
Do you need to start to VALUE YOURSELF & reclain a life that's been hijacked by obligation and external validation? Join Dare, Darling, Doctor Becc's Group Coaching Membership where we MAKE EMPATHETIC DOCTORS UNSHAKEABLE.
🔐 APPLY for a spot in the next cohort at www.doctorbecc.com.au.
________________________
Hello Doctor Humans!
Have you been getting the benefits of BOUNDARIES in your life? If not, this series is for you.Welcome to episode 3 in our BOUNDARIES FOR DOCTORS mini-series.
Feeling stuck in a relationship with unclear boundaries? Does people-pleasing or conflict avoidance hold you back from getting what you need?
This week on Am I Doing It Wrong, Dr. Becc and Kristeen Barker are breaking down the communication steps to setting healthy boundaries, even in the toughest situations. Get ready to ditch the resentment and step into empowered connections.
They delve into the often-missed step of communicating boundaries, emphasising the difference between disagreement and setting a boundary.
Key takeaways:
- Focus on Yourself: When communicating a boundary, explain how the other person's actions made you feel and what you would like them to do differently.
- Clear is Kind: Direct communication is essential to avoid misunderstandings. However, frame your requests in a way that respects the other person.
- Educate, Don't Dictate: Boundaries are about educating the other person about your standards, not controlling their behaviour.
- The Boundary Consequence: The consequence of a crossed boundary is about how you will respond, not how you expect the other person to change.
Dr. Becc also discusses the fear of negative consequences that often holds people back from setting boundaries. She explores two common fears: hostility and hurt feelings. She emphasizes that people's initial reactions may not reflect their true thoughts and feelings.
💭 Kristeen & Becc invite you to reflect on a boundary you might want to set and to share your experiences.35 min - 41: BOUNDARIES for DOCTORS Mini Series [Episode 2]
🔓 Here's the LINK to get the FREE BOUNDARIES CHEAT SHEET and exercise to help you EXECUTE: https://bit.ly/3KWdmua 📈
👫👭👬 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
📽 Kristeen's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3JaSHBE
👋 Kristeen's Instagram: https://bit.ly/4aKX5mq
📽 Becc's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3TQbLKl
👋 Becc's Instagram: https://bit.ly/3QgkTqT
Do you need to start to VALUE YOURSELF & reclain a life that's been hijacked by obligation and external validation? Join Dare, Darling, Doctor Becc's Group Coaching Membership where we MAKE EMPATHETIC DOCTORS UNSHAKEABLE.
🔐 APPLY for a spot in the next cohort at www.doctorbecc.com.au.
________________________
Hello Doctor Humans!
Have you been getting the benefits of BOUNDARIES in your life? If not, this series is for you.Welcome to episode 2 in our BOUNDARIES FOR DOCTORS mini-series.
We're going beyond the basics of boundaries and into the complexities and nuance to make sure that you are using boundaries in a way that is EMPOWERING. Believe it or not, boundaries can be used in a way that actually disempowers us and makes our lives smaller and smaller.
In this episode, Kristeen & Doctor Becc will talk about the most empowered way to use boundaries with both a short-term and long-term game plan in mind. Here, boundaries can be used as a temporary measure to buy us time to address the underlying issues that are causing us to need them in the first place. That's how we use boundaries to make our lives BIGGER - not smaller.
Here's some cliff notes:
❤️ Boundaries can be implemented to protect & maintain our standards and safety.
❤️ Setting boundaries is about taking control of your own experience - not about controlling, manipulating or sending a message to other people.
❤️ We may want to use boundaries as a temporary measure when we find ourselves feeling affected by another and we are not able to attend to our thoughts or nervous system response in the moment.
❤️ Ultimately, we want to aim to be so secure in ourselves that boundaries become unnecessary - others don't affect us.
❤️ As humans - relational beings - we want to acknowledge that this is an *ideal* to work to rather than something that you 'should' have mastered in every scenario.
❤️ Non-judgmentally expecting that being unintentionally affected by others will always be a part of our experience, this is where we can use boundaries to take great care of ourselves.
🚀 The next episode will focus on the "difficult second step" of boundaries, which is how to deal with the potential negative reaction from the other person when you set a boundary.
Are you ready to set a boundary in your life? Let us know!
26 min - 40: BOUNDARIES FOR DOCTORS Mini-Series [Episode 1]
🔓 Here's the LINK to get the FREE BOUNDARIES CHEAT SHEET and exercise to help you EXECUTE: https://bit.ly/3KWdmua 📈
👫👭👬 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
📽 Kristeen's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3JaSHBE
👋 Kristeen's Instagram: https://bit.ly/4aKX5mq
📽 Becc's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3TQbLKl
👋 Becc's Instagram: https://bit.ly/3QgkTqT
Do you need to start to VALUE YOURSELF & reclain a life that's been hijacked by obligation and external validation? Join Dare, Darling, Doctor Becc's Group Coaching Membership where we MAKE EMPATHETIC DOCTORS UNSHAKEABLE.
🔐 APPLY for a spot in the next cohort at www.doctorbecc.com.au.
________________________
25 min - 39: Doctors, trust nobody
👫👭👬 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
📽 Kristeen's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3JaSHBE
👋 Kristeen's Instagram: https://bit.ly/4aKX5mq
📽 Becc's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3TQbLKl
👋 Becc's Instagram: https://bit.ly/3QgkTqT
If you're a successful woman still feeling on guard and not fully free to express yourself, join Dare, Darling, Doctor Becc's Group Coaching Membership at www.doctorbecc.com.au. 🔓 🚀
💌 Or you can join the mail list where she answers a bunch of common questions: https://bit.ly/3Wih9Jh
________________________
Hello Doctor Humans!
Doctor Kristeen Barker and Doctor Becc are back on the Am I Doing It Wrong podcast, and this time they're diving deep into a topic that every doctor needs to understand: boundaries.
In this miniseries, they'll be unpacking what boundaries truly are, how to identify them in your own life, and how to set them in an empowered way that's good for everyone involved.
Kristeen and Becc discuss the importance of boundaries in a doctor's life. They explore the common misconception that boundaries are about controlling others, and instead, reframe them as a way to protect yourself and uphold your personal standards.
The doctors introduce a helpful analogy of boundaries as circles:
- The inner circle represents your ideal zone, how you'd like yourself and others to behave.
- The larger outer circle represents what is acceptable to you.
- Anything outside this circle is unacceptable and a boundary violation.
They discuss how to identify your boundaries by paying attention to your emotional responses in different situations.
Boundaries are iterative, meaning you learn and refine them over time.
Examples are given of boundaries in different areas of life, including work, family, and social settings.
The episode emphasises that boundaries are set from a place of love. They are not about making others the villain, but about protecting your own standard and safety in your life.
Do you want to use boundaries more in your life? Let us know!37 min - 38: Are you paralysed by fear of failing your exam... Again?
👫👭👬 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
📽 Kristeen's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3JaSHBE
👋 Kristeen's Instagram: https://bit.ly/4aKX5mq
📽 Becc's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3TQbLKl
👋 Becc's Instagram: https://bit.ly/3QgkTqT
If you're a successful woman still feeling on guard and not fully free to express yourself, join Dare, Darling, Doctor Becc's Group Coaching Membership at www.doctorbecc.com.au. 🔓 🚀
💌 Or you can join the mail list where she answers a bunch of common questions: https://bit.ly/3Wih9Jh
________________________
Hello Doctor Humans!
Are you a doctor struggling with exam anxiety?Especially on your second or third time taking the exam?
This episode is for you! Doctors Kristeen Barker and Becc discuss a powerful strategy to free yourself from the fear of failing and refocus on what you can control.
Kristeen has been working closely with her Rock Your Long Case crew (which as you have heard she is no-so-secretly so invested in that she endearingly calls you guys 'ducklings'! 🫀 With many of her crew and hundreds of others sitting this difficult-to-predict and -prepare-for exam, Kristeen wanted to make sure you had this shortcut in your hands.
And this isn't a strategy that downplays the importance of the exams and just tries to tell you, "The exam doesn't matter that much". Becc uses this strategy in the most important things in her life - including in relationships most important to her. We take this fear very seriously!
We all know the sinking feeling that washes over you when you envision failing an exam you've poured your heart and soul into. That fear can be especially crushing for doctors facing the pressure of re-taking a crucial exam.
In this episode, Drs. Kristeen Barker and Becc offer a lifeline. They delve into a powerful strategy to help you confront your fear of failing head-on. By exploring your worst-case scenario and talking yourself through it, you can break free from the grip of anxiety and refocus your energy on what you can control. This approach can not only improve your emotional well-being but also empower you to reach your full potential.
So grab your cup of tea, curl up, and let Drs. Kristeen and Becc guide you towards exam success... with a lot less stress!
27 min - 37: Is it true that you CAN'T have it all? Be a good DOCTOR and good PARENT or PARTNER?
👫👭👬 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
📽 Kristeen's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3JaSHBE
👋 Kristeen's Instagram: https://bit.ly/4aKX5mq
📽 Becc's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3TQbLKl
👋 Becc's Instagram: https://bit.ly/3QgkTqT
If you're a successful woman still feeling on guard and not fully free to express yourself, join Dare, Darling, Doctor Becc's Group Coaching Membership at www.doctorbecc.com.au. 🔓 🚀
💌 Or you can join the mail list where she answers a bunch of common questions: https://bit.ly/3Wih9Jh
________________________
Hey Doctor Humans!
Feeling like you're constantly failing at different parts of your life?
Work-life balance feels impossible?
You're not alone.
Dr. Becc and Kristeen Barker tackle this common struggle with you in this episode of Am I Doing It Wrong?
Becc and Kristeen Barker dive into the challenge of balancing your dedication to being a great doctor with the other important aspects of your life - in particular, they delve into the common conflict between being a 'good doctor' and a 'good parent' or 'good partner' .
They discuss how the pressure to meet the 'good enough' threshold can lead to feelings of failure and guilt, and offer practical solutions for creating a life you won't regret.
Here are some key takeaways:
- Feeling like you're failing in one area of your life (work, relationships, etc.) is common for doctors.
- Rigid ideas about what it means to be a good doctor can limit your choices and flexibility.
- Watch out for common thinking traps such as over-generalisation leading us to believe that we aren't doing enough.
- Consider a longer time frame than just one day when evaluating your failure or success when it comes to meeting your standards.
- Identify where you want to set boundaries so you can show up fully in all areas of your life.
Are you struggling with work-life balance? Share your experiences and challenges in the comments below!
40 min - 36: Doctors, don't waste your time on these kinds of problems
👫👭👬 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
📽 Kristeen's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3JaSHBE
👋 Kristeen's Instagram: https://bit.ly/4aKX5mq
📽 Becc's Youtube: https://bit.ly/3TQbLKl
👋 Becc's Instagram: https://bit.ly/3QgkTqT
If you're a successful woman still feeling on guard and not fully free to express yourself, join Dare, Darling, Doctor Becc's Group Coaching Membership at www.doctorbecc.com.au. 🔓 🚀
💌 Or you can join the mail list where she answers a bunch of common questions: https://bit.ly/3Wih9Jh
____________
Feeling overwhelmed by the need for completeness and like you can never keep up?
You're not alone! In this episode, Kristeen and Doctor Becc discuss the concept of creating problems for ourselves getting stuck in the weeds and losing sight of the actual goal.
There's more than one way to get to your destination. There are always multiple ways to achieve a goal.
Join Kristeen and Doctor Becc for a conversation that will help you stop feeling like you're failing and wasting time on problems that don't need to be solved.
Learn how to:
- Identify when you're creating problems for yourself
- Frequently check in with your big-picture goal/focus
- Watch out for the common trap for doctors of believing we need to know everything
In this episode:
- Kristeen shares a story of how she almost created a problem for herself by feeling like she needed to become a bone marrow transplant expert to deliver this particular high-yield lesson to her doctor humans preparing for their Physician exams.
- Doctor Becc discusses the common trap of feeling inadequate when faced with a vast amount of scientific literature and the expectation to be up to date.
- They explore the concept of "emotional ransom" - withholding feelings of competence until achieving an unrealistic goal. And the way that guarantees you'll never able to benefit from feeling competent in your life.
- These scenarios highlight a common trap for doctors of believing we need to know everything. Kristeen and Becc direct us to the importance of questioning your model of the world and the beliefs you hold about success is highlighted. They remind us that while we need to be able to put our head down and dive into the nitty-gritty details, we need to frequently lift our heads, step back and check that we're still walking in the right direction.
- They offer strategies for getting out of the weeds and focusing on the big picture.
- Collaboration and seeking help from others are presented as valuable tools.
- The concept of "letting it be easy" is introduced as a way to approach challenges to solve problems in efficient ways.
Key Takeaways:
- It's important to regularly redirect our focus to the big-picture goal and ask if the details we're getting caught up in are truly necessary.
- Setting unrealistic goals leads to feelings of inadequacy. This feeling of inadequacy gets us further into the weeds and further from our big-picture goal.
- If you want to make progress rather than strive for solo perfection, ask for help from colleagues and utilise resources that make the process more targeted and efficient.
- There are always multiple ways to achieve a goal. Find the path that works best for you and makes the journey easier.
38 min
About Am I doing it wrong? For Doctors by Doctors.
From the publisher's feed
In "Am I Doing It Wrong?” Doctor Becc & Kristeen Barker have the vulnerable conversations all doctors need to remind us "You're not crazy, life as a doctor is". You'll feel seen & connected again & you'll also get actionable strategies to be able to show up as your favourite version of you as a doctor regardless of the daily challenges.
Dr Kristeen Barker, nephrologist at Alfred Health, runs online medical education courses for physicians & trainees.
Doctor Becc (Dr Rebecca Nothrop) is coach & host of Dare, Darling—a transformative group coaching program for doctors who are people-pleasers.