Amateur to Pro

If I’ve learned one thing in my career as a Professional Coach, it’s this: all change begins with Radical Acceptance. Think back on your life and identify one meaningful change you made that stayed with you. I promise you—it started with fully (and often painfully) accepting your current reality.

Radical Acceptance is necessary, but not sufficient, to create the changes so many of us long for in our everyday lives. And importantly, it’s the required precursor to Radical Responsibility—the practice of taking full ownership of any situation we find ourselves in.

Virginia Woolf wrote, “...for a self that goes on changing is a self that goes on living.” We all recognize the truth in Woolf’s words, yet we expend incredible energy to resist change! I know people who prefer a certain death to the uncertainty of change.

“Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”

— Physicist and Chemist, Marie Curie

I realize that I have feared—and continue to fear—many things throughout my days and life. Some of those fears I’ve conquered; others are still a work in progress. Marie Curie is absolutely right in saying that understanding is the antidote to fear. Fear, when left unchecked, can grow into paralysis. And paralysis is the state so many of us find ourselves living in.

This week, Jews all around the world are observing Passover, a recollection of our ancestors' time as slaves and a grateful recalling of their journey to freedom.

If you believe in symbols, as I do, Passover is rife with them. Every seemingly old-fashioned ritual is a puzzle piece in the larger picture that symbolizes freedom from slavery.

“Why should I work with a Professional Coach?” Let’s be honest—you’ve probably asked yourself this before. No matter how much you learn about coaching, it’s still hard to understand why people would pay so much for something you can’t see, wear, or drive. It’s not always easy to explain to others, leaving you feeling foolish or indulgent.

I just spent five days at a Coaching Retreat with an intimate group of five extraordinary women. Together, we made six, and together, we made magic. Left to my default, I can be a lone wolf. I’ll take the few over the many, quiet over noise, and I choose depth—always depth. Transformational one-on-one coaching is the work I was put on this earth for because it checks all the boxes for how I love to spend my time.

Many of you know that in 1982, my partners and I opened the first Versace boutique in the United States. Considering the iconic brand it became in the following decades, it wasn't as daunting as you might think. Gianni Versace was still a relatively unknown designer when we opened the store. I was incredibly fortunate to be at the crossroads of several opportunities that allowed me, a teenager then, to achieve what I did.

The impact of Perfectionism is like the force of Gravity. Most (I’m hoping all) of us are aware of it, and ignorance doesn’t shield us from its effects.

In other words, not understanding gravity will not prevent us from falling, and in that way, it’s shockingly similar to perfectionism. You see, not understanding perfectionism won’t shield you from its inevitable psychological and emotional damage. 

Years ago, my son and I were traveling by plane. We were sitting in coach. He is a big guy, and I’m not such a big woman (in size). We sat quietly and peacefully beside each other for 2 hours until I spoke. Me: “Can I ask you a question?” He: “Of course.”