In 1971, Joni Mitchell released Blue, an album teeming with stories of a life shaped by romance, desire, longing, and the default path of sharing life with another person. The ideal might persist to this day, but what happens if the romance we are told will give life meaning... never shows up? How gorgeous and fulfilling can we make our lives, sans romantic partner?

Amy Key, the celebrated British essayist and poet, sets out to explore exactly these questions in her memoir, Arrangements in Blue, with Joni's seminal album as its scaffolding. Amy embarks on an intimate, sometimes painfully candid journey to search for all the things a soulmate was supposed to deliver, working out how to live well in this culture that prizes romantic love.

And she shares her findings with us.

Amy’s wisdom and tenderness guide us from an important shift in ideas about intimacy and solitude to the painful feelings we are often too ashamed to discuss: loneliness, envy, grief, and the sensation of wanting. In this episode, learn about the importance of building a home, how to travel alone, the importance of recognizing your own milestones, and why we should consider expanding the remit of friendship.

Recommended by Caitlin and Ben:

Living Your Best Single Life

Simplify episode - Rebecca Traister and The Power of Being Single

All the Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister

Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab

Recommended by Amy:

Kick the Latch by Katherine Scanlan

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Let us know what you thought of this episode, or just come say hi on Twitter! Find Caitlin at @caitlinschiller https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller [2], Ben at @bsto https://twitter.com/bsto [3]. You can write us all an email at [email protected] [4].

This episode of Simplify was produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler, Maria Levacic & Stéphane Obadia at Blinkist