An Evolving Man Podcast

Today on the podcast we are talking about leadership, trauma, boarding school and how we heal. I am delighted to be talking with Martin Lloyd-Elliott who is one of the UK's leading psychologists and psychotherapists who specialises in working with leaders.

Here he talks about what trauma is. He then goes on to talk about leadership and especially political leadership. What makes a great leader? Does the boarding school system create great leaders or does it create leaders who don't always do the best for those that they lead?

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Martin Lloyd-Elliott has worked for thirty one years in full time private practice as a Chartered Psychologist and psychotherapist during which he has worked with over 1500 clients.

He also coaches business executives and management teams in cutting-edge leadership skills, specialising in the creation and development of Super Teams.

Principal teachers and influences are James Hollis, Petrushka Clarkson, Carl Jung, James Hillman, Joseph Campbell, and many others. `

Some of the areas that he speaks about:

1. I would love to hear you speak about how you got into the work that you now do in the world.
2. I would love you to introduce what you understand about trauma. What is trauma? How does it impact us as humans?
3. “To actively choose a career in politics is pathological” James Hollis. Can you talk about this please?
4. I would love for you to talk about leadership and boarding school syndrome. Does boarding school turn out great leaders? Or is there a shadow side to boarding school education which produces wounded leaders? How might this impact the world?
5. I would love for you to speak a bit about the Jewel of the Crown – India and the British Empire. 
6. What makes a benevolent leader? How do we cultivate more of them in our world?
7. How do people learn more about you?

#leadership #martinlloydelliott #boardingschool #trauma

For more information and to get in touch with Martin please visit his website here: http://www.lloyd-elliott.com/

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/ 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today's podcast welcomes Robert Verkaik to speak about his book, Posh Boys, how English public schools ruin Britain. 

In a fascinating discussion Robert outlines why he feels that the public school system doesn't work and what are some of the solutions to this issue.

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Robert is an author and journalist specialising in security and social mobility. His journalism appears in the Guardian, Independent, i newspaper, Sunday Telegraph and Sunday Times.  

In 2013 he was runner-up at the National Press Awards for the category of specialist journalist. Robert has also been long-listed for the Orwell Prize and the Paul Foot Award. In 2001 he was named law journalist of the year and has twice been runner-up. 

He is the author of five books.

Questions for Robert:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey into the work that you now do.
2. Could you please speak more about the English public schools. What drew you into writing the book, Posh Boys? How are these public schools the ruin of Britain?
3. Could you speak a little about the history of public schools. How did they begin? Were they always intended for the privileged? How did the educational ideals of people like William Wykeham become usurped by England's rich and powerful families?
4. Could you speak to the link between the brutal nature of public schooling and the brutal suppression in Asia and Africa during the British Empire? (P.34) What were the public schools like during that time? Did that impact how the British ruled their Empire?
5. Michael Goldfarb mentions that the elite and the 'Establishment' used to be in the church, the military and the Empire. But now it has shifted towards the corporate world. Could that be a reason why the UK government, judiciary, business and military have such strong ties to the public schools? How does it impact the rest of the UK having this close knit community?
6. You mention the word apartheid in your book. Would you say that we now have a subtle class divide (P. 308 PB) that is a type of social apartheid? Only those that are rich get the tops jobs.
7. How have these public schools increased the divide between rich and poor? Why is it that we won't get rich?
8. Is the public school system fit for purpose? Is it helping to bring us closer together to build a fairer society or is it driving us apart? (P. 6 PB)
9. I would love you speak about the current energy and cost of living crisis. Has the public school system exacerbated the problem?
10. We now have a new non-private school educated prime minister in Liz Truss. Do you feel that things can now start to change?
11. What do you feel is the solution to the crisis that we are now faced with?

#poshboys #publicschools #privateschools #leadershipcrisis

For more information about Robert's work please do visit: https://robertverkaik.com

Or to purchase his books: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Robert-Verkaik/e/B089GYT1B8/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1

And to visit the Private Education Policy Forum: https://www.pepf.co.uk/

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/ 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

On today's podcast I am excited to be speaking with Amelia White. In this episode she talks about co-educational boarding schools and the impact they have on girls and boys. How does it differ from single sex boarding schools? Amelia is a specialist in this area and has trained with Nick Duffell.

Why this podcast will be probably the most fascinating so far is that not only did Amelia go to the same boarding school as me, but we were on the same year! We reconnected last year when we realised that we are doing the same work with ex-boarders... 

Today we share our experiences at this coed boarding school. She shares some of the classic symptoms she sees in single sex and coeducational boarding schools. How are they different? How are they the same? Have they changed since our day?

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Amelia White is a Humanistic Counsellor who works in private practice in Hove and online. She tutors on the Person Centred foundation degree course at East Sussex College. 

She has a specialism in working with those struggling as a result of their Boarding School experience and offers individual and couple therapy to those affected by their own or partners' schooling. She facilitates groups, run workshops, and courses. 

Some of the questions that Amelia answers:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey into doing the work that you now do.
2. What was the experience for you as a girl at a coeducational boarding school? (Piers could add his experience as a boy in the school and regarding the girls).
3. In your work with ex boarders how does the experience of coeducational boarding schools differ from single sex boarding schools? 
4. In some circles, it is said that coeducational boarding is less traumatic than single sex boarding. Have you found this to be the case and if so why do you think this is?
5. In your work have you found that there are common ways that both single sex and coeducational boarding schools affect people? If so what might they be?
6. Nowadays a lot of boarding schools are becoming coeducational. Have they changed since our day. If so in what way? And how are they the same?
7. Healing boarding school syndrome. In your work have you found that you have to approach coeducational ex-boarders differently from others or the same? What have you found has worked the best?
8. What is the effect on girls of growing up in a co-ed school focused on patriarchal values?
9. The lack of safeguarding with regards sexual relationships developing at such young ages without an parents present.
10. How do people find out more about your work?

For more information about Amelia work please do visit: https://www.theboardingschooltherapist.com/

Or her Facebook boarding school group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/boardingschoolawarenessandwellbeing/

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life:  https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/ 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Lessons from The Jungles of Borneo – The Importance of Reconnecting with Nature & Healing The Planet - AEM #43 – Kevin Albin 

Today I am very happy to be speaking to Kevin Albin about his experiences of living for 6 months in the jungles of Borneo and his work now as a climate activist. 

What did he learn during that time in the jungles as a trek leader and the importance of connecting to nature?

How have we as humanity lost that connection? And how does that relate to what is happening in the world with climate change?

A fascinating discussion with a really lovely man. We talk about fossil fuels, wounded leaders, trauma, his boarding school experiences, and his time working with teenagers. He also discusses his book, Stonechild.

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Kevin Albin served 25 years with the police in the UK, eight years of which were with a tactical firearms team, and as a negotiator. In 2002, he retrained as an International Mountain Leader (BAIML) working across the globe guiding on mountaineering trips and expeditions. 

He is an author of the book, Stonechild, a fictional story about seeing the need for conservation and a change to the way we act with the environment. In 2011, he won Bronze in the Wanderlust Magazine World Guide Awards for his work.

His hope is that his writing will continue to spread the word on conservation and protection of all species.

Questions and areas to speak about:

1. I would love you to share some of your journey. How did you get to where you are now?
2. I would love for you to share a little about what you have learned about the environment and how we can conserve the planet moving forward.
3. Other areas to talk about:
   1. Stonechild – how did this come about and what is the message?
   2. Working with teenagers in the trekking; work that you have done – rubbing shoulders with nature.
   3. What do you feel is the pressure that teenagers are under at the moment
   4. Experiences of boarding school – controlled by the bell – trying to escape – how did your parents find it was for them you going away?
   5. What can we do to start to positively change the environment? 
   6. Leaders – are the leaders you have spoken with interested in changing? 
   7. Trauma and leaders
   8. Leaders – they can be the heroes of this moment.
   9. Are companies changing their environmental policies? 
   10. The manipulation of the fossil fuel industries

#fossilfuels #stonechild #climatechange #conservation

For more information about Kevin please do visit: https://kevin-albin.com/

To buy Kevin's book please visit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Stonechild-Kevin-Albin/dp/B08D53GZTC/ref=sr_1_1?crid=12559014NVZG3&keywords=kevin+albin&qid=1660311858&sprefix=kevin+albin%2Caps%2C121&sr=8-1

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For more information about Piers Cross and other episodes of the podcast please visit: https://www.piers-cross.com

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Part 2: In this episode we talk about surviving the future. What is happening in the world regarding climate change, the economy and environmental issues? My guest today is someone who has been involved in the highest levels of decision making regarding UK environmental policy. He shares some very uncomfortable truths. Are we on the brink of collapse? Is there anything we can do about it?

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Shaun Chamberlin has been involved with the Transition Network since its inception, cofounding Transition Town Kingston and authoring the movement's second book, The Transition Timeline. 

He is managing director of the Fleming Policy Centre and former chair of the Ecological Land Co-operative, and has spoken at venues ranging from Occupy camps to Parliaments.

In exploring the cultural narratives charting society's course he has written for or edited a diverse range of books, magazines, academic journals, and other publications, including co-authoring a significant UK All Party Parliamentary report with his close friend and regular collaborator David Fleming. His website is www.darkoptimism.org. 

Subjects that I ask Shaun:

1. I would love for you to share some of your path to how you now do what you do?
2. “We are unshamedly positive about what kind of a world humanity could create, and unashamedly realistic about how far we are from creating it today.”
3. David Fleming – A Dictionary for the Future and How We Survive it
4. Economic collapse
5. We need to keep hope alive.
6. Grief – the annilation of life on earth – living in a dying world – headed into the collapse scenario
7. I want to tell a story with life that I am extremely proud to tell.
8. Feeling alone with the apocalypse – find a peer group – find other people who care – resilience.org
9. “Do nothing that matters without consulting a conversation” DF
10. What is necessary, that we might have a future?
11. The key to a better future lies not in jobs, growth and mathematics, but in culture, community and conviviality. 
12. Community resilience
13. Where are we headed?
14. What can we do? The middle ground...

#climatechange #economicalcollapse #survivingthefuture

For more information about Shaun's work please visit: https://www.darkoptimism.org

For access to the Lean Logic online dictionary: https://leanlogic.online/

For access to Shaun's course Surviving the Future at Vermont College: https://www.ce.sterlingcollege.edu/surviving-the-future

Find him on Twitter at @darkoptimism 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In this episode we talk about surviving the future. What is happening in the world regarding climate change, the economy and environmental issues? My guest today is someone who has been involved in the highest levels of decision making regarding UK environmental policy. He shares some very uncomfortable truths. Are we on the brink of collapse? Is there anything we can do about it?

---

Shaun Chamberlin has been involved with the Transition Network since its inception, cofounding Transition Town Kingston and authoring the movement's second book, The Transition Timeline. 

He is managing director of the Fleming Policy Centre and former chair of the Ecological Land Co-operative, and has spoken at venues ranging from Occupy camps to Parliaments.

In exploring the cultural narratives charting society's course he has written for or edited a diverse range of books, magazines, academic journals, and other publications, including co-authoring a significant UK All Party Parliamentary report with his close friend and regular collaborator David Fleming. His website is www.darkoptimism.org. 

Subjects that I ask Shaun:

1. I would love for you to share some of your path to how you now do what you do?
2. “We are unshamedly positive about what kind of a world humanity could create, and unashamedly realistic about how far we are from creating it today.”
3. David Fleming – A Dictionary for the Future and How We Survive it
4. Economic collapse
5. We need to keep hope alive.
6. Grief – the annilation of life on earth – living in a dying world – headed into the collapse scenario
7. I want to tell a story with life that I am extremely proud to tell.
8. Feeling alone with the apocalypse – find a peer group – find other people who care – resilience.org
9. “Do nothing that matters without consulting a conversation” DF
10. What is necessary, that we might have a future?
11. The key to a better future lies not in jobs, growth and mathematics, but in culture, community and conviviality. 
12. Community resilience
13. Where are we headed?
14. What can we do? The middle ground...

#climatecrisis #economicalcollapse #survivingthefuture

For more information about Shaun's work please visit: https://www.darkoptimism.org

For access to the Lean Logic online dictionary: https://leanlogic.online/

For access to Shaun's course Surviving the Future at Vermont College: https://www.ce.sterlingcollege.edu/surviving-the-future

Find him on Twitter at @darkoptimism 

In this episode we talk about surviving the future. What is happening in the world regarding climate change, the economy and environmental issues? My guest today is someone who has been involved in the highest levels of decision making regarding UK environmental policy. He shares some very uncomfortable truths. Are we on the brink of collapse? Is there anything we can do about it?

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

This episode hears from one of the US's leading paediatrician's Dr Claudia M Gold. Here she speaks about attachment theory, the power of discord – the importance of having ups and downs in relationships and how that links in to childhood trauma and especially boarding school syndrome.

Some of the areas we talk about are containment, the power of being heard, rupture and mismatch and uncertainty as they relate to relationships. We also talk about Prince Harry and how his experiences of boarding school and the death of his mother Princess Diana. 

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Claudia M. Gold, MD is a pediatrician and writer who practiced general and behavioral pediatrics for over 20 years and now specializes in early childhood mental health. 

She is on the faculty of the U-Mass Chan Medical School Early Relational Fellowship, the Brazelton Institute at Boston Children’s Hospital, and the Berkshire Psychoanalytic Institute. 

She is a clinician with Volunteers in Medicine, Berkshires and director of the Hello It’s Me Project, a community-based program supporting parent-infant relationships in high-need low resourced communities. 

Dr. Gold speaks frequently to a variety of audiences including parents and professionals. 

Some of the questions/ areas for conversation:

1. I would love you to share some of your journey. How did you arrive at where you are now?
2. I would love to hear you speak about the power of being heard & feeling heard.
3. Could you explain what containment is – Winnicott, etc?
4. I would be really interested in hearing you speak about the power of very early interactions.  One of the discussions going on in the boarding school literature over here is whether the ‘attachment break’ that has been seen as occurring at the point at which a child is ‘sent away’ to boarding school (at 6 or 7 or 8 or 11 years old) is the key ‘break’ – or whether we should be looking earlier.  If you are a child born into a family that ‘belongs’ to a culture/class that EXPECTS to send you away (and which may well hire a nanny for your early care), what are the impacts of being born into such a parenting culture/class?  How does this change the way they expect (and do) interact with you?  What happens when you layer a schooling ‘attachment break’ on top of that, as opposed to the ‘break’ coming as a scholarship or other unexpected ‘opportunity’?  
5. Boarding School experiences are full of unrepaired ruptures.  I would love to hear you speak about the impact of those.
6. Leading on from question 4, I would love you to speak to what age it is appropriate for a child to be separated from their parents. And is there a healthy way of doing this? What are the impacts on an adult who has been through this rupture? Are there certain symptoms?
7. Discord P.31 – What happens if there is discord in a relationship but it is never healed? E.g. a child is sent away to board and never has a chance to speak up or heal the rupture?
8. Certainty P.226 – I love what you say about certainty and how it “leads us away from growth and healing.” I know in Buddhism that uncertainty, (annicca – impermance) is a key teaching. Could you speak a little about the power of uncertainty in relationships.
9. If we have been through a rupture like boarding school how do we start to heal this?
10. How do people find out more about you and the work you do?

To find out more about Claudia M Gold, please visit her website here: https://www.claudiamgoldmd.com/

To buy her books please visit: https://www.claudiamgoldmd.com/#

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For more information about Piers Cross and his work with trauma and boarding school syndrome:  https://www.piers-cross.com/

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What is the female experience of boarding school? Often we talk about the boarding school experience of boys and how it impacts men. But often the subject of how boarding school impacts a girl and then a women later on in life is not spoken about.

Today I am excited to be speaking with two leading women in the field of working with women ex-boarders and bringing this subject to light.

What it is like for a girl? How is it different from boys? What are some of the nuances and differences that make boarding school as impactful on women as it is on men?

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Karen Macmillan counsels adults around a wide range of issues, with a specialism in working with boarding school survivors. She runs CPD workshops for therapists in working with ex boarders with her colleague Sara Warner. 

Sara Warner is a BACP registered counsellor and Internal Family Systems Therapist specialising in working with boarding school survivors in private practice in Lewes seeing local, national, and international clients. 

Some of the topics and questions we talk about:

1. Introductions
2. How did the idea of doing a workshop specifically about working with women ex boarders come about?
3. Are there particular themes specific to women ex boarders’ experience? 
4. Patriarchy affects women differently to men and both are affected intensely by being in a boarding school – can you say more about this
5. Can you talk a bit about internalised misogyny.
6. Some of the other areas we talk about:
   1. Eating disorders like anorexia, and bulimia
   2. The problems with eating that carry on into later life
   3. How jealousy and envy can still impact women post school.
   4. The main wound being around the breaking of attachments
   5. Self-harming
   6. The denial of the body and especially sexuality in boarding schools
7. What have you discovered in your work with women?
8. How do people find out more about your work?

For more information about their work please visit: https://www.counselling-hove.com/my-approach

https://counsellinginlewes.com/

For their workshop online for therapists on October 15th: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/working-with-women-boarding-school-survivors-a-workshop-for-therapists-tickets-305922050087

For the workshop for women ex-boarders run by boarding survivors https://www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk/events-and-workshops/  

And for a workshop for male and female ex-boarders: https://www.theboardingschooltherapist.com/boardingschoolawarenesscourse

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Bill Kauth is the co-founder of the Mankind Project (MKP) and the New Warrior Training Adventure (NWTA). The NWTA has now served over 75,000 men and has 47 centers in 12 countries around the world. 

In 1992 St. Martin’s Press published his book A Circle of Men: The Original Manual for Men’s Support Groups (reissued in 2015). As a social inventor over the last two decades, Bill also co-founded the Inner King Training and in 1995 launched the Warrior-Monk Training Retreat. 

In his role as “Visionary-at-large” with the MKP, Bill studies the state of the world seeing the need for local tribes and fraternal lodges.

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Today on the podcast it is a real pleasure to be speaking with Bill Kauth. What a great conversation and a great man. 

Bill is the founder of the Mankind Project which is one of the world's leading men's charities helping men to live their mission in the world and to support their emotional and mental health.

Some of the questions and topics we talk about:

1. I would love you to begin by sharing some of your journey. What inspired you to begin the New Warrior Training Adventure?
2. I would love you to talk about the importance of mission and purpose, especially for men?
3. In your opinon having been involved in communities for many decades what are some of the key characteristics of a benevolent and thriving community?
4. What in your opinion is the reason for men's groups and men's initations? Do you have any advice about how to set up a thriving men's group?
5. You talk in your book about the need for us as a collective to demand our political leaders live in integrity. How do we go about that?
6. I would love you to speak about integrity in a man's life. How important is this? How can we as men support each other to stay in integrity?
7. Play. Often men's work is really serious. I love how you talk about in your book about play and the need to bring play into men's work. Can you speak to that please?
8. Conflict management. I see quite a bit of conflict in the world. In your experience what is the best way of approaching conflict? How do we move through it and become stronger?
9. The missing fathers and shame. Ritual and ceremony. Your father and the NWTA. Robert Bly, “We can only learn about manhood from other men.”
10. In your book you talk about Helen Caldicott and her work in bringing awareness to the current challenges with the environment. As as elder what do you feel we need to do individually today to create a thriving future?
11. How do people reach out to you?

To buy his book in the US: https://www.amazon.com/Bill-Kauth/e/B001KDEROQ?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1655121686&sr=8-1

To buy his books in the UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bill-Kauth/e/B001KDEROQ?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1655121662&sr=8-1

#billkauth #mankindproject #mkp #menswork #mensgroups

--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/ 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today on the podcast I am excited to be speaking to Dillibe Onyeama. Dillibe was the first black boy to graduate from Eton and wrote about his account of boarding school in the 1972 book which was originally called, Nigger At Eton. 

Dillibe suffered a lot of racial abuse while at the school. Today he shares some of his experiences at school and talks in more depth about what happened around the time of the publication of the book. He talks about how the powers that be tried to stop the book being published.

The Nigerian author goes on to talk about fagging, some of the good things about the school and some of his opinions about slavery and how there needs to be some form of restitution.

A truly fascinating conversation!

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AEM Podcast #38 Dillibe Onyeama – Racial Abuse At Boarding School & Eton, Black Boy At Eton

PLEASE NOTE: The recording does cut out in places due to our connection. I have left it in so that no part of the interview is missed.

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Dillibe Onyeama is a Nigerian author, and publisher. Dillibe was the first Black boy to ever graduate from Eton College, and only the second to join when he started in 1965. In 1972, aged just 21 he wrote about his experiences of Eton. The book is a deeply personal account of the racism he endured during his times as a student at the world-famous institution. He has written 28 books published in 4 countries.

Here are some of the questions that he answers.

I would be really interested to hear you share some of your journey at Eton? How was it for you?

1. What was the difference for you between your experience of your prep school, Grove Park, and Eton? Were they the same or vastly different?
2. How did you manage to cope with the racism that was meted out to you at Eton?
3. I was fascinated to read about your experiences with the South Africans. “I wondered also why I had had more common decency shown to me by these two South Africans than by almost any other white boy at Eton.”(P.144) Would you be able to share some of what happened?
4. You mention that, “When I encountered racist abuse in some division... I was thus unable to fully concentrate on the teaching.”(P.119) Do you feel that the bullying impacted your ability to study at the school?
5. What happened after you published your book in 1972? How did you respond to the school?
6. What were some of the good things about Eton?
7. I felt really sad reading your story of the hallucinations and violence. I could relate to it having had similar attacks myself later in life. How did you learn to deal with these hallucinations? When you asked for support – was it helpful?
8. Blackett- Ord (P.225). What impact did this house captain have on the rest of the school in abolishing fagging, beating and fining students by the prefects?
9. How has time changed your impressions of what happened at Eton? How do you feel about your experiences now? Do you feel, looking from afar that Eton appears to have changed?
10. Anything else that you would like to share with people?

To purchase a copy of Dillibe's excellent book A Black Boy At Eton please visit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Black-Boy-Eton-Britain-Writing/dp/0241993814/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1649347143&sr=1-1

To purchase Dillibe's other books: https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=Dillibe+Onyeama&ref=sr_gnr_aps

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/