An Unexpected Launch

Brian’s dad profoundly impacted his life; Brian wasn’t raised to be like anyone else. Brian was taught to stand in the gap, to be an intentional encourager. Brian has endured hardship in his adult life and has used those experiences to propel himself into projects that he is passionate about. Losing his dad unexpectedly and being fired from his job brought gifts of support, connection, and friendship into Brian's life. These experiences laid the foundation for his book, People Buy From People, titled after one of his dad's most valuable lessons. Originally envisioned as a book for those in sales, Brian realized that his book, woven with stories of his late dad, is a book about life. Brian recently launched and hosts his own podcast, The Intentional Encourager, where he shares stories of inspiration, hope, wisdom, connection, and ... encouragement. As Brian states, encouraged people are powerful people. Who can you encourage today?

Resources:

The Intentional Encourager Podcast

People Buy From People, Audible

People Buy From People, Book

Unexpected Launch, Podcast and Videos

Patti recently published her first book: When He Was Anna: A Mom’s Journey Into the Transgender World. This chapter of Patti’s own story began when her youngest daughter, Anna, announced at the age of 17 that she is transgender. Patti’s husband explains in the foreword, this book is about a parent’s love of and support for their child, who now goes by Tristan. Patti openly and honestly shares the struggle, heartache, and trauma of discovering, loving, and supporting her transgender son.

Patti has a passion, and that is telling our stories so that others know that they are not alone. A gift of her journey has been guiding other parents who follow in her footsteps. Becoming a published author fulfilled Patti's life-long dream; although she could have never imagined raising a transgender child would be her topic, it was. Watching Tristan evolve into a confident, independent young adult has been a treasured gift of her journey. Patti's greatest hope is that Tristan's life is filled with happiness and joy.

Resources

When He Was Anna: A Mom’s Journey Into The Transgender World, book

Author Patti Hornstra, Instagram

Unexpected Launch, Podcast and Videos

For more than ten years, Matthew knew something wasn’t right. After countless doctor visits, Matthew was finally diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, IGA nephropathy. His immune system attacked his kidneys necessitating a grueling dialysis regimen and ultimately an unsuccessful kidney transplant.

In this episode, Matthew and his wife, Cha, share their journey through chronic illness, a failed kidney transplant, and the wait for a second transplant.

Battling a chronic disease is exhausting, frustrating, and overwhelming. Yet, Matthew and Cha discovered a strength and resolve in themselves and the beauty and connection of community.

For more inspiring stories, visit An Unexpected Launch and watch us on YouTube.

Resources

Sign Up To Become An Organ Donor

Cha Barefield

Test Me

At 17 years old, Sara was raped and became pregnant. Unbeknownst to Sara, the woman counseling her through her pregnancy made plans for Sara’s baby to be fostered and ultimately adopted. Sara fought for her son and called the foster family to inform them that she was taking her son home. At a young age, Sara learned the power of truth, your story, integrity, and the importance of walking through your pain.

Sara met and fell in love with her husband in college. They married and had two more sons. They were a happy family of five...until Sara realized that her husband had been living a double life. He had been sleeping with men for 14 of their 17 years of marriage.

Throughout their marriage, Sara’s intuition whispered, “He’s gay.” Each time Sara questioned her husband, he reaffirmed his love for her. Sara ignored her intuition. Through her healing work, Sara has learned to trust and listen to herself.

After her husband disclosed his betrayal, Sara grieved deeply the loss of the life and future that she thought awaited her. As she’s come to learn more about forgiveness and grief, Sara has realized that there is never closure. Instead, we are confronted with many openings. Deep, personal, inner growth can help to navigate grief. It begins with acknowledgement of living your life differently than you thought and seeking the possibilities.

Sara believes deeply in the power of nature. Being present in nature allows you to get out of your head and forces you to drop into your heart. Meditation, breath work, and nature allow you to drop into our heart, where the healing and deep connection occur.

Loneliness is a universal experience to those experiencing trauma and grief. Three words guided Sara’s recovery through loneliness: truth, inspiration, hope. Owning and speaking her truth, finding inspiration every day even in the little moments, and hope for herself helped Sara overcome loneliness.

From the age of 17, Sara knew that she would write a book that would help others feel less alone. Her debut book, Walk Through This, is a guide through traumatic experiences and the journey to forgiveness. Her goal was to create a resource that she didn’t have and wished she had during her trauma recovery. 

Sara openly shares her story, including thoughts of suicide, because she knows what it was like to be in a story and feel as though no one else was there. Sara intimately knows pain and wants to spare others that pain. She wants others to see themselves in her words and know that they are not alone. In sharing your truth, you begin to understand yourself and open yourself to possibilities and ultimately freedom.

Sara’s inspiration for her journey came from immersing herself in nature, a support group, and being present with her boys. Through her journey, beautiful unexpected gifts have appeared. She’s appreciated inspiring conversations, and seeing people embrace and be excited by her body of work, including her book.

Resources

Sara Schulting Kranz, Website

Walk Through This: Harness the Healing Power of Nature and Travel the Road to Forgiveness, book

Walk Through This. A Story of Starting Over, Documentary

We Need a New Definition of Forgiveness, TEDx Talk

Unexpected Launch, Podcast and Videos

Abandoned at birth in a parking lot in Seoul, South Korea, Shari’s life had a traumatic beginning. Shari’s American family didn’t hide her adoption, yet it wasn’t something that was discussed. It wasn’t until later in her life that Shari would begin processing her adoption and the impact that it had on her life. After Shari and her husband adopted their daughter from China, Shari began to process her own adoption. Shari realized how similar her journey was to her daughter’s, particularly struggling with identity issues, having to justify belonging in their family.

In 2017 Shari was diagnosed with breast cancer requiring a double mastectomy. Upon hearing her diagnosis, Shari fell to her knees, paralyzed. Shari’s biggest fear was leaving her children. If Shari could go back in time, she would talk more openly with her children about her diagnosis, treatment, and prognosis.

Shari’s cancer journey was marked by loneliness. Shari began journaling to help manage her loneliness and her journey. Part of her journaling practice now entails looking back at previous journals to see her growth and progress. Journaling helped her maintain focus and discover meaning in the struggle.

Shari began listening to inspiring podcasts, and reading, actively seeking out sources of positivity.

A few years ago, Shari attended a memorial service and listened to the beautiful sentiments shared by friends and family. People told stories of how this woman impacted their lives. Stories this woman never heard. Shari vowed she would not let another year pass without sharing what her friends mean to her. She met with 50 woman over the course of a year for intimate, meaningful conversations.

After each conversation, Shari captured the essence of their conversation on Facebook. While writing the synopsis of each conversation, Shari reflected and was filled with gratitude for all of the amazing women in her life. Every woman will remember that meeting with Shari; it was a moment that someone heard how much they mattered and the difference they made in the world. These conversations became Shari's debut novel, The 50/50 Friendship Flow, a perfect book for every woman and her friends.

Shari’s current initiative is meeting with 52 women asking them “What is the mess that became your message?” Hearing these insights gained along these journeys has been therapeutic for Shari. Her hope for these conversations is that we learn from one another.

Revealing her story has felt vulnerable. Once behind her, Shari didn’t openly talk about her adoption and breast cancer journey. During her book launch interviews, these life experiences resurfaced. Speaking freely, reflecting, and recognizing the power of her stories has been a powerful process for Shari.

Shari recognizes that her struggles have led to meaningful gifts. Appreciating the gift of each day, knowing where to spend her time and energy keep Shari focused on the beauty that surrounds her. Shari is able to relate to more people and to connect with them on a deeper level. Focusing on our similarities brings us together.

“We all have a common story, something that connects us”

Resources

An Imperfectly Perfect Life

The 50/50 Friendship Flow, book

Unexpected Launch, Podcastand Videos

Renee and Piripi met at 13 years old, started dating at 15, and were together for 11 years before marrying. Eighteen months into their marriage, Piripi disclosed that he is gay.

Knowing from a young age that he was different, it was a long and slow journey for Piripi to accept that he is gay. Piripi did not want to live his life defined by living in a box, straight or gay. Piripi’s journey continues, and four years after coming out, there are still days that he struggles. Even after admitting to himself that he is gay and knowing there was no returning to a straight life, Piripi remained in denial for a period of time.

As their marriage began to crumble and her world turned upside down, Renee was clutching at straws, and she asked Piripi if he is gay. The answer was definitely not. After their marriage had dissolved and Piripi disclosed to Renee that he is gay, Renee felt complete and utter denial.

As Piripi struggled to accept that he is gay, and as Renee struggled to accept the end of their marriage, they both entered a dark period marked by depression. Piripi turned to alcohol and drugs to ease his pain, lacking the tools and resources to cope. After one year of abusing his body, Piripi realizes that he’s entering a growth period, striving towards happiness. Counseling and the support of friends helped him to move forward.

When their marriage was crumbling, gas lighting played a role. Renee didn’t question Piripi’s accusations. Lacking internal defenses, Renee began to question fundamental aspects of herself, of what she knew to be the truth. Renee, in the depths of despair, consumed a bottle of sleeping pills. Renee had never been depressed, and she had misconceptions about suicide. She felt that she was immune; too smart, strong, successful, happy, and optimistic to be at risk of suicide. She encourages people to reach out, to not feel ashamed, noting that depression touches everybody, in every corner of society.

After he came out, Piripi struggled to navigate the gay community. Still holding onto guilt and shame, it was more difficult than he had anticipated. He recommends to individuals coming out to seek resources, support groups, and trusted individuals. 

After Piripi came out, Renee watched him being congratulated and celebrated. Meanwhile, she was devastated. Renee struggled to reconcile these two truths. Renee withdrew from Piripi to begin her healing and discover her future. She worked through the shame, anger, and stages of grief. She began looking forward, reimagining her life.

After a period of growth, self-discovery, and healing, a sense of peace washed over Renee. She was ready to share their story. Renee and Piripi launched their podcast, Me & my GAY ex-husband to tell their story; a story that is usually swept under the carpet. They hoped to create connection, assuring people in a mixed-orientation marriage that they are not alone. Through their raw, honest, and emotional conversation, they have created a real and relatable resource.

Telling their personal and intimate story was initially scary and left them feeling exposed. The support and outreach fills Renee and Piripi with purpose and the strength to continue sharing their story.

Their journeys have been a whirlwind marked by beautiful unexpected gifts. Piripi’s unexpected gift has been discovering his sense of self and self-belief that he would not otherwise have sought. Renee’s gift has been freedom, the gift to take control of her life, to reimagine what she wanted, to discover joy. Ultimately, they embrace their separation, viewing it as a gift, emerging as transformed individuals with new goals and dreams.

Resources

Me & My GAY ex-husband

Unexpected Launch, Podcast and Videos

A moment of absolute shock, disbelief, and fear. A death sentence. Fear that she would leave her three and a half year old son motherless.

“I heard ‘malignant’ and thought, I must not know the definition of that word.”

Previously healthy, feeling fine. Except for that lump. Her gynecologist recommended she call ‘her surgeon.’ Marquina did not have a primary care doctor much less a surgeon. Not believing yet that she had cancer, the meeting with the first surgeon left Marquina feeling written off, not seen as a woman navigating a devastating diagnosis. Marquina was referred to an experienced breast surgeon who thoughtfully discussed the implications of her diagnosis, performed a more in-depth exam and discovered that the cancer had spread. Had she remained with her original breast surgeon, the cancer in her lymph node would have metastasized and rendered her stage 4, metastatic.

Marquina’s days were filled with back-to-back appointments, her vocabulary expanded to include words and terms that she had never imagined. She was forced to make major decisions about her body. She also knew that how she responded to this crisis would impact her journey and her memory of it. She did not want this period to be defined as traumatic; she wanted to define her experience through growth and self-transformation.

Marquina settled into a rhythm, weaving chemotherapy and its side effects into her life, working on the days that she felt well. Marquina vacillated between the highs of “I’ve got this” and the pits of despair and pain. 

Marquina lived her life day by day. Listening to her body. Doing what her body allowed. Creativity allowed Marquina to begin to reclaim her life and gave her strength on her darkest days. Marquina realized that she could transform the experience of her eight-hour chemo infusions. With the help of a makeup artist, gown and accessory donations, and a photographer, Marquina created the Glam Chemo photo project.  

Marquina created the Women’s Empowerment Project wherein artists created beautiful canvases from the bodies of women with cancer. While the artists were painting, the women bonded as they shared their reasons for participation: some were saying goodbye to their breasts, some with post-mastectomy scars wanting to discovery beauty in their bodies.

Societal pressures lead many of us to hide our authentic selves. Cancer forced Marquina to explore who she wanted to be, what she valued. Valuing close friendships, she recognized that deep friendships require sharing of yourself and listening. Being vulnerable, sharing your struggles fosters true connection.

Marquina published Tough: Women Who Survived Cancer, a collection of 37 stories of women with cancer. Marquina wanted to highlight the breadth and the depth of women’s experiences coping with cancer. Marquina’s greatest hope is that women can see themselves in the stories of others.

Marina is a competitive air guitarist. This creative outlet helped Marina express and embrace herself throughout her cancer journey – and she’s continuing on, rocking this pandemic with her air guitar.

Resources

Share Triumph

TedX, The Unexpected Lifeline

Unexpected Launch, Podcast and Videos

Cha believes in the best of us. She desires that we learn to ask good questions. Ones that lead to transformation, open our minds and our hearts. The right questions are ones that help us to be seen and understood.

Cha was raised in the Bahamas where the color of her skin did not impact how people viewed and valued her. She did not know she was “black” until she came to America. She didn’t know that there was a narrative about her skin color. A narrative that she had to fight against. When Cha arrived in America, she felt ugly, not even a girl. Cha felt that she was merely a black body.

When Cha was seven, a white boy called her a nigger. Cha did not know what that meant, but she knew it wasn’t good and realized it had something to do with her brown skin. No adult provided her comfort or protection, no adult denounced the boy’s racist comment. Cha encountered so many voices from children, teachers, and adults that made it harder to love herself, that made her feel less than human. It wasn’t until Cha became an adult to recognize the systemic failure of adults to protect her.

It is important to consider other people’s experiences; it makes us more perceptive, empathetic, and caring. Black people in America have not had the same life experience as white people. The fact that our constitution was amended to make blacks human is a disgrace and insulting. For blacks were fully human before the amendment was written. The original language of the constitution should have captured Cha. Should have captured every black person.

Because of her brown skin, Cha fears the narrative white people have about her, and the nuances of that narrative. White people’s perception of Cha impacts her life. Cha feels like she is shadowboxing; she often doesn’t know what she’s coming up against. Cha fears when others have power – and wield that power – over her. Cha fears for her daughter’s safety every time she leaves the house for a run. It’s an added layer of fear. She worries that someone may have a narrative about her daughter that could pose a threat to her safety.

What is different about the response to George Floyd’s death? Why is the world unifying and protesting now? Whites have the ability to nuance the deaths of black people, rationalizing the circumstances. The was no room to nuance the death of George Floyd, who was asphyxiated under a man’s knee. We cannot ignore his death. The death of countless black people.

Seeing the collective energy and powerful response is fueling our momentum in quest of peace, love, and exorcism of systemic racism. Staying curious and caring about one another will help us listen to and understand each other.

White people can serve as shields for the black people in their lives, their community. That looks like stepping in, physically, emotionally, verbally, to protect. It looks like protecting each other, not leaving black people standing alone. Not today.

We must draw those who are using less peaceful means to express their rage into an inclusive conversation. How? By acknowledging their pain. Understanding that their expression comes from consistently not being respected, loved, or heard. Lacking any modality by which their voice is being heard.

Cha sees many beacons of hope today. We have the capacity to be amazing. Times of peace do not reveal the depth and strength of humanity. Growth and strength spring from the dry and crooked places. The land is dry. The ground is broken. Yet we are rising. Together.

Resources

Get Informed, Take Action

Cha Barefield, Website

Cha Barefield, Test Me

Unexpected Launch Podcast

Morhaf’s diagnosis of metastatic lung cancer was revealed gradually in the conversation with his lung doctor who walked him through a series of images and pathology results. Given a moment to absorb the news, Morhaf cried and then asked “What’s next?” Despite feelings of sadness and loss, he wondered, “Are there glimmers of hope?”

A cancer diagnosis is not only devastating for patients and healthcare providers alike. Being a physician himself, Morhaf recognizes the importance of giving patients the space to process their diagnosis and to understand the widespread implications of cancer. Morhaf knew the statistics of survival for his diagnosis and had access to resources that made the journey more bearable. While moving from a doctor to a patient was devastating, Morhaf has become more sensitive in managing his own patients.

The “Big C” is not a death sentence; one should never lose hope. Morhaf advises patients and caregivers seek trusted resources and healthcare team as well as others who share their diagnosis.

Although Morhaf’s sense of identity has evolved throughout his life, his cancer diagnosis exacted the most notable challenge. At first, cancer brought a devastating sense of loss, not only of life, but to access of doing what is most essential, which for Morhaf is being a physician. Taking on the identify of a patient was transformative and led Morhaf to connect with a large community of cancer survivors.

Morhaf doesn’t celebrate cancer, doesn’t view it as a gift. However, he acknowledges that he was faced with a difficult situation and is making the best of it. The urgency of an incurable disease propels individuals to squeeze their life projects into a short period of time. This comes with sacrifices, trade-offs, and loss of connection.

Cancer is an isolating disease, and this lack of connection has exacerbated by the COVID pandemic. Patients are faced with daunting decisions. Individuals living with cancer need to take precautions which exacerbates their isolation. When faced with an incurable cancer, these human connections are precious, compounding this loss of time from loved ones.

Humanity struggles with authenticity. And authenticity is essential to who we are. Morhaf shares his story, so that others can see him, know him, and want to share their story too. Humanity is constituted of memoires – of narratives, of stories. In sharing our stories, we make accessible experiences and dialogue that all can learn from.

Grief is part of the lived experience. Major losses change our life course: loss of a loved one, a parent, a child. Over time, our experience with grief changes. With support and space to share our grief, we can move towards healing and celebration of life as well as a reconciliation of mistakes made.

“When I die, I want people to remember me.”

Resources

Being Authentic, Memoir

Roads to Meaning and Resilience with Cancer: Forty Stories of Coping, Finding Meaning, and Building Resilience While Living with Incurable Lung Cancer

Unexpected Launch Podcast

Self-described as one-dimensional and intense, pre-coma Kelly loved her job, her colleagues, her award-winning real estate company, and working hard. Always pushing forward, evolving her business was top of mind.

Then the unexpected. After a long workday, Kelly didn’t feel well. She knew something was terribly wrong. A series of admissions, readmissions at different hospitals, and a lack of diagnosis, Kelly was close to death. With multiple organs failing, Kelly was placed into a medically-induced coma. Kelly felt isolated and alone.

The day Kelly emerged from her coma, she was alone. Her husband asked for a divorce. Never afraid of a challenge, Kelly fought her way back to health and recovery while raising her three-year old son and maintaining a hand in her company. Kelly’s recovery took 3 years and a lot of grit. It wasn’t without challenges and some humbling moments. Kelly was surrounded by a supportive, loving community. She also discovered her internal strength, noting that until we are tested, we don’t appreciate our own strength.

“You are stronger than you think”

Kelly’s near-death experience allowed her to discover who and what she loved. Where she should focus her time and effort. Kelly became spontaneous and learned to have fun. She discovered balance. Kelly’s divorce provided the freedom to create a life she loves. For Kelly, it was her opportunity to find her way back home, making peace within herself despite the surrounding chaos.

While recovering, Kelly had no ability to read social cues. Deciding that she wanted to sell her company, Kelly confidently reached out to and secured a meeting with Barbara Corcoran. Armed with expert advice and the out that Kelly was seeking, this meeting was a pivotal moment in Kelly’s business and recovery. This paved the way to Kelly’s career in speaking and to authoring her first book, Building a Dream Team.

Kelly founded Arras Sisters with the goal of building community - a tapestry of women - and helping women share their stories. Women need to share their voice. For themselves, their families, and communities. Kelly’s passion is helping women discover – and be proud of - their voice. Sharing stories is essential and will break down barriers. Stories provide a survival guide for those who are struggling and seeking resources to help them through their healing. In turn, telling our own stories is essential for our own healing.

“Feeling seen and heard and knowing we matter is essential”

People are afraid of telling their story for fear it doesn’t matter, or they may be suffering in shame or embarrassment. No matter the essence of your story, when you are ready, share your story. Not only is it a release for the story-teller, it’s the light that someone else seeks.

“Your story can change the world”

The women surrounding Kelly are her source of inspiration and hope. Kelly finds fulfillment in watching women evolve their stories and their businesses.

Kelly is grateful for her journey; helping women find their voice and share their stories has been the biggest gift. Learning to listen, and discovering patience – for herself and others – have come through her healing. Taking the time to hear and understand others has been transformational and opened Kelly’s eyes to the beauty, strength, and power within those who surround her.

Kelly’s greatest hope is that people find fulfillment and lose their shame. Her most important – yet most simple – advice?

“Share your story”

Resources

Arras Sisters

Building a Dream Team Book

Unexpected Launch Podcast