Sexual betrayal destroys all trust in a marriage. When the lies and double life of an unfaithful husband (or wife) come to light, the betrayed spouse has no solid ground to stand on. What was real is instantly shattered and nothing is clear anymore.

It can leave an unfaithful spouse struggling for a way to regain the trust that was selfishly tossed aside. Trust is earned - not expected just by virtue of staying married.

But when trust is lost, trustworthiness displayed daily will not only help to restore personal integrity, but it can also pave the way for a betrayed spouse to consider trusting again.  

Last week, we did a deep dive into the first three of twelve markers of a trustworthy husband; he is transparent, vulnerable, and rigorously honest, has no secrets from his wife, and initiates difficult conversations. There was a lot packed into that episode so if you missed it we encourage you to go back and listen to episode 128.

Today we are going to unpack the next three markers of a trustworthy husband:

Grab a pumpkin spiced something and tuck in for a revealing look into our recovery process as we discovered how a track record of trustworthiness helped ear back trust in our marriage.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:     

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology

Episode 52. What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity?

Episode 66. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #2 Prioritize Her

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When trust has been shattered after marital infidelity is revealed through either discovery or confession, what hope does a repentant husband have for regaining his wife’s trust? Will she ever be able to trust him again?

These are common questions many couples ask as they sift through the rubble of what was once considered to be a happy, loving, and committed marriage.

Fortunately, there is an answer to this difficult question because when unfaithful husbands destroy trust in their marriage, there is a hope of restoring this broken part of the relationship by showing up daily as "trustworthy".

On last week’s episode, we introduced the 12 markers for becoming a trustworthy husband.

On today's show we will dive deeper into the first three markers of a trustworthy husband.

Join us for a candid conversation about our experience with broken trust and trustworthiness displayed after infidelity was discovered in our marriage.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:     

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 92. Dying to Self: Transformational Moments in Recovery from Sexual Betrayal

Episode 111. 111 | Need a Full Therapeutic Disclosure After Infidelity? (Part 1)

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

When infidelity shatters the reality of a perceived happy marriage and reveals a foundation crumbling under the weight of lies and deception, one of the most difficult losses is the trust that was instinctively given when exchanging vows to love, honor, and cherish one another. 

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:     

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 64. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)

Episode 65. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #1 See Her Pain

NEXT STEPS:    

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

Have you ever thought about how the toughest barriers holding you back might not be out there in the world, but instead created in the hidden corners of your own mind?

For the man battling sex addiction, the compulsive behavior is often just the symptom of a deeper problem: a faulty belief system built on a foundation of shame, self-loathing, and the unshakable conviction that you are, at your core, unforgivable. This is the silent war that can rage long after the acting out stops.

In this episode, we’re going to take a deeper look at the mental traps—the negative I Am statement we tell ourselves and the isolating shame—that keep you trapped in a cycle of self-punishment.

We’ll talk about how this internal battle doesn’t just sabotage your inner peace, but systematically undermines your marriage and every good thing in your life.

This conversation promises to be enlightening and supportive as we explore the path to healing together!

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:     

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal

Episode 35. Recovery Step 6: Ready to Move on From Sexual Integrity Issues? 4 Questions to Help you Decide

NEXT STEPS:    

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

Navigating the aftermath of a husband’s sexual betrayal is a complex and deeply painful journey for a wife.

While a natural desire to support his recovery may exist, it often clashes with powerful, protective emotions born from the trauma itself.

The act of showing compassion can feel fraught with risk, not as a sign of a lack of love, but as a defense mechanism against further pain and a means of preserving her own fractured sense of safety and self-worth.

This hesitation is not a character flaw but a rational response to profound injury. The wife’s fears are typically rooted in a need to validate her own experience, guard her heart from additional harm, and ensure that her husband’s path to recovery is built on genuine accountability rather than easy forgiveness.

Understanding these fears is a crucial step in healing for both spouses. Join us as Emily tells the story of her journey from a lack of compassion to showing compassion to Johnny after his sexual betrayal in our marriage.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:     

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 72. Praising God While in the Storm of Sexual Betrayal and Porn-Fueled Infidelity

Episode 114. "I Know the Plans I Have for You" After Sexual Betrayal Shatters Your Marriage

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

When you hear the word “honesty,” what comes to mind? Is it a simple binary—you either tell the truth or you don’t?

Or do you see it on a sliding scale, where a “little white lie” is a 2 and a deliberate, premeditated deception is a 10?

If your marriage has been shattered by porn-fueled infidelity, you know the brutal truth: the lies and deception surrounding the acting out are often more destructive to trust than the acts themselves.

In this powerful second part of our conversation, We recap the five ways we lie from last week—commission, omission, deflection, justifying, and gaslighting—and dive deep into how embracing rigorous honesty can pave the way for trust and healing.

Join us as we unpack what this kind of honesty looks like, how to attain it, and how it impacted our recovery process.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:     

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 109. Healing Through Honesty: A View Into a Marriage Transformed by Truth (with Sathiya Sam)

Episode 123. The One Thing Worse Than Infidelity in Marriage

NEXT STEPS:    

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

In marriages wounded by sexual betrayal, the deepest injury isn't the act itself, but the web of lies that concealed it.

It’s a staggering reality that the concept of honesty is not as straightforward as many would like to believe.

Lies can come in various forms, from outright falsehoods to subtle omissions and misleading statements, all of which can have profound effects on trust in relationships.

What is the key to complete honesty, and how can we foster openness and transparency in our relationships?

The topic is LYING.

We will discuss five different ways we lie, specifically relating to broken covenant in marriage through porn-fueled infidelity.

Our victorious story serves as a testament to the fact that breaking the cycle of dishonesty is not only possible but essential for building a solid foundation for safety and trust leading to true intimacy.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:     

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 07. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 1)

Episode 08. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 2)

NEXT STEPS:    

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

What comes to mind when someone brings up 12-Step recovery?

Maybe you think of Alcoholics Anonymous?

Or perhaps group meetings?

Do you also wonder if 12-Step programs are only for those who don’t see Jesus as Savior and Lord of all?

Should followers of Christ consider participating, even if Jesus isn't the central focus?

There are certainly some common misconceptions about where the original twelve steps come from and how they are meant to be used.

Today, we’ll look at a few of the most prevalent misunderstandings surrounding this simple yet effective program for addiction recovery and discover if these twelve steps are a clear path to God.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:     

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 25.Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?

 Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

Today we wrap up our series, I Need You Where I AM. In the first episode of our series, we focused on a statement that many betrayed wives relate to, "My Husband Just Doesn’t 'Get It'.”

And what is the “it” he’s not getting? Not understanding the magnitude of what his actions through infidelity have done to her. 

In the second episode in our series, we covered some of the ways betrayed wives are affected by their husband’s infidelity. Not the least of which is grief. But in an everyday way, it can look like experiencing new health issues, being triggered by movies, TV shows, music, and even reading the Bible.

Today we are giving husbands hope for addressing his wife’s needs in a practical way. To help Johnny see past himself to how Emily was being affected by his sexual betrayal, he created a process to handle her big emotions based on an internal statement, My wife feels this way because…

Join us for the rest of the statement plus 4 important things it does to help both spouses heal.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:     

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 119. I Need You Where I Am: Why Unfaithful Husbands Just Don’t Get It (Series 1 of 3)

Episode 120. I Need You Where I Am: Infidelity's Surprising Effects for Her (Series 2 of 3)

NEXT STEPS:    

✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!    

✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

Today in the second installment of our series, I Need You Where I Am, we turn the spotlight fully onto the wreckage inside a wife’s body and soul after sexual betrayal.

The physical, emotional, and spiritual effects of betrayal trauma are real and profound. A wife experiencing these effects may think she is going crazy. She is not. It just feels that way.

As we talked about last week, a husband who “gets it” understands the magnitude of the effects of his betrayal on his wife. This man can show compassion and empathy by looking past his own situation to see his wife’s pain.

In this episode, we will share our experience with the effects of betrayal trauma as well as hope for the future where the trauma is healed and life becomes new.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:     

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 22. How Long Will This Hurt? Experiencing The 5 Stages of Grief Through the Lens of Sexual Betrayal

Episode 119. I Need You Where I Am: Why Unfaithful Husbands Just Don’t Get It (Series 1 of 3)

NEXT STEPS:    

✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!    

✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].