Today in the second installment of our series, I Need You Where I Am, we turn the spotlight fully onto the wreckage inside a wife’s body and soul after sexual betrayal.

The physical, emotional, and spiritual effects of betrayal trauma are real and profound. A wife experiencing these effects may think she is going crazy. She is not. It just feels that way.

As we talked about last week, a husband who “gets it” understands the magnitude of the effects of his betrayal on his wife. This man can show compassion and empathy by looking past his own situation to see his wife’s pain.

In this episode, we will share our experience with the effects of betrayal trauma as well as hope for the future where the trauma is healed and life becomes new.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:     

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 22. How Long Will This Hurt? Experiencing The 5 Stages of Grief Through the Lens of Sexual Betrayal

Episode 119. I Need You Where I Am: Why Unfaithful Husbands Just Don’t Get It (Series 1 of 3)

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Today we want to speak to both spouses who are bravely navigating the deep and challenging waters following a discovery and disclosure of sexual betrayal.

We understand that this emotional journey can feel overwhelming and may be difficult to sort out on your own.

Today we’re excited to present a relatable word-picture that aims to make the experience of a husband’s infidelity a little easier to understand for both partners.

This episode marks the beginning of a 3-part series designed specifically for betrayed wives, focusing on what they wish their unfaithful husbands could grasp after their world has been shattered by the revelation of infidelity.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:     

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 52. What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity?

Episode 64. 64 | 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)

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Recovery work is hard! It is not something that either spouse ever wanted and sometimes it can feel like it takes over everything else in life. Is it okay to take breaks from the difficult conversations and the grieving process?

Yes! We all need to take a break from the struggle occasionally and recharge so we can get back in and do the next right thing.

We have a shorter show today, but lots of encouragement! Please take a moment to receive a blessing as we share a beautiful passage of scripture that quiets our souls and helps us to rest in the Lord.

We are praying for you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:     

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 100. Getting Real Help for Your Marriage: 10 Obstacles to Counseling and Coaching

Episode 113. No Stone Unturned in Recovery from Porn-Fueled Infidelity

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

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In this episode we are excited to have John-Michael Bout share his powerful testimony of struggling with pornography addiction since the age of eight and how he overcame it through God's grace, supportive friendships, and accountability.

John-Michael also introduces his ministry, Into the Light, which offers various free resources including documentaries, video series, and workbooks to help individuals and families combat pornography and better understand biblical sexuality.

He shares with us the importance of confessing sins, addressing the accessibility of pornography through technology, and integrating these conversations and resources into church communities for broader support and impact.

Pop in your earbuds and listen in for some real help!

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

CONNECT WITH JOHN-MICHAEL:

Website: intothelightministries.ca

RESOURCES:

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 58. Purpose from Pain: Did Sexual Betrayal Destroy God’s Plan for Your Marriage?

Episode 77. 4 Practical Steps for Vigilance in Recovery from Porn-Fueled Infidelity

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

When you hear the word surrender, what comes to mind?

Does it feel like defeat, like giving up?

We often see surrender as weakness. And for those who like to control everything, surrender seems counterintuitive.

Our instinct is to protect ourselves. Both spouses often resist and hide from the painful path to healing.

In a marriage shattered by sexual betrayal, the fear is that giving up control means being taken advantage of or losing importance in the relationship.

But surrendering your marriage to God is not about giving up. It’s about loosening your grip and trusting in someone greater.

When the infidelity bomb blew up our marriage, we were scared and confused, putting up shields to protect ourselves from each other’s pain.

Until, we chose to surrender—not to each other’s flaws, but to God’s plan for us.

When we stopped striving for our own desired outcomes and handed it over to God, everything changed.

Now, God did not erase the pain, but He guided us through it—revealing truths, healing wounds, and rebuilding trust step by step.

In today's episode, we go deep into what it looks like to surrender and how God used this step of faith in our marriage to create something beautiful.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 81. Giving Thanks In The Aftermath of Porn-Fueled Infidelity

Episode 72. Praising God While in the Storm of Sexual Betrayal and Porn-Fueled Infidelity

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✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

Today we tackle the hardest skill in any marriage - especially after the devastation of sexual betrayal - honest, open communication.

We frame true intimacy as a three-legged stool built on transparency, vulnerability and rigorous honesty, then soften the seat with a cushion of humility so the whole thing doesn’t collapse under the weight of pain and suspicion.

Our goal is to move from theory to practice, from talking about intimacy to living it out daily. That shift requires the right tools. Enter the FANOS Check-In, by Debra Laaser. The acronym FANOS stands for:

Feelings

Affirmations

Needs

Ownership

Struggles/Sobriety.

In this episode, we’ll walk you through how two bruised spouses can sit down, share a safe space on that 3-legged stool, and walk away with clearer hearts, sharper boundaries, and a rebuilt connection.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Emotions Wheel

FANOS CHECK-IN

Request the Healing Apology worksheet, [email protected]

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology

Episode 80. 7 Caveats for an Effective Healing Apology

Episode 106. From Furious to Curious: How the ‘Emotions Wheel’ Unlocks Deeper Conversations

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

Whether you have just recently discovered your spouse’s infidelity or have been working through the recovery process for a while, you are going to want to tune in to today’s episode.

It’s hard to imagine a future where there is honesty, connection, and true intimacy after the marriage vows have been shattered into dust.

But God…

Today we’re exploring what could be possible for your marriage when both partners are fully surrendered to Jesus and do the hard work of recovery.

We are sharing some of the incredible things the Lord did with our marriage in the first two years of recovery to give you some encouragement and hope for yours.

If God can do it for us, he can do it for you. And he wants to! He has a plan... (Jerimiah 29:11)

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 58. Purpose from Pain: Did Sexual Betrayal Destroy God’s Plan for Your Marriage?

Episode 61. 61 | Is Joy Possible After Sexual Betrayal?

NEXT STEPS:    

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

Sexual sin—especially porn-fueled infidelity—doesn’t just wound a marriage; it buries it under shame, secrecy, and shattered trust. But just as Jesus called Lazarus out of the grave, He can resurrect even the most broken relationships.

Your marriage may feel like a tomb right now, but Christ specializes in resurrecting dead things.

Today in this hope-filled, and sometimes emotional conversation, we’ll talk about why sexual betrayal feels like a “death” in a marriage—and how Christ offers resurrection from the tomb of our sin. How God uses others to help us move from where we are to where he wants us to be.

Also, Johnny tells the amazing story of the vision God gave him 6 years prior that has been fulfilled his new, StoneRollers Men’s Recovery Group.  Brotherhood is God’s lifeline for struggling men. You don’t have to face recovery alone!

If this episode hits home, you don’t have to go it alone. Join this brotherhood of men committed to rolling away the stones in their lives and stepping into life and victory. Write us at [email protected] to get your signup links!

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 25. Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?

Episode 43. Our 12-Step Series Wrap Up: Which Sex Addiction Recovery Program Is the Best?

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

The disclosure is done. The secrets are out. Now what?

If you’ve been through Full Therapeutic Disclosure—or if you’re still mustering the courage to start—you know this isn’t the end. It’s the real beginning. Because truth doesn’t just expose the brokenness… it reveals the path forward.

This is the second half of our FTD episode—where we walk you through the final 3 steps of the disclosure process.

FTD doesn’t guarantee your marriage will survive. But it does guarantee this: No more living in the dark.

For the betrayed, it means the power to choose your next step with clarity.

For the betrayer, it means the chance to finally live in truth—even if it costs you everything.

Truth isn’t just where healing starts—it’s where you start living again.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 44. Fearing the Worst? How to Plan for Sex Addiction Slips & Relapses in Your Marriage Steps

Episode 111. Need a Full Therapeutic Disclosure After Infidelity? (Part 1)

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

Marriage isn’t just a contract—it’s a covenant, a sacred vow before God and man.

But sexual betrayal doesn’t just break trust… it shatters the covenant itself. The foundation is cracked. The vows feel like a lie. And now, both of you are standing in the wreckage—one drowning in grief, the other paralyzed by guilt.

But here’s the truth: You can’t rebuild on broken ground. Before forgiveness, before reconciliation—before even deciding if this marriage can survive—there’s one thing that has to happen. The full, unedited truth. No more shadows. No more secrets. Because a covenant can only be restored where there’s nothing left to hide.

If you’re the betrayed partner, you’re drowning in questions—What else don’t I know? Can I ever trust again?

And if you’re the betrayer, you’re trapped in a prison of your own lies—How do I fix this? Will the truth destroy us?

Here’s the hard reality: without Full Therapeutic Disclosure, neither of you gets to move forward. The betrayed stays stuck in suspicion, and the betrayer stays stuck in shame. But there’s a way out—and it starts with one terrifying, necessary conversation.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 44. Fearing the Worst? How to Plan for Sex Addiction Slips & Relapses in Your Marriage Steps

Episode 51. Full Therapeutic Disclosure: 3 Steps to Healing and Freedom After Sexual Betrayal

NEXT STEPS:    

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].