Andrew Petty is Dying

What do you need to let go of?

In her teens, alcohol became Carrie Chown's refuge from emotional pain. By her early college years, she was firmly in the grips of alcoholism. Carrie worked hard to keep everything looking shiny on the outside, but inside she wanted to die. Then, she was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension as a college junior and was told she had two years to live. Ironically, it felt like an answer to her prayer to die.

In June of 1999, Carrie summoned the will and the courage to get sober so she could begin an IV treatment the following month. Remarkably, she survived six years with pulmonary hypertension and received a life-extending double lung transplant in December 2003. After the transplant, Carrie was told that she might only have two more years to live.

With a handful of years of sobriety and intensive recovery work now under her belt, Carrie emerged from the transplant physically, spiritually, and mentally aligned. She was ready to live. She moved out of her parents' house, started working, got married, and bought her first home.

But she lost sight of all of the gifts in her life during an excruciating seven-year infertility journey.

There's more to this story, and Carrie fills in the gaps in the conversation that follows. But what I've just shared with you sets the stage for the insights and wisdom that Carrie offers in this episode. At face value, it's a gripping tale of human suffering, perseverance, and the will to live. But on a deeper level, it's a master class in how to find freedom on the other side of letting go.

Meet Carrie Chown

Today, Carrie is a Life, Health, and Wellness Coach and Reiki Master Practitioner. She has a private practice in Woodland, CA where she uses traditional coaching, energy work, and unique life coaching experiences to help her clients move beyond the things that hold them back and create lives full of passion, purpose, and wellbeing.

Some Episode Highlights

• Carrie shares what she had to let go of in each of the three monumental surrenders she's experienced in her life–addiction, terminal illness, and infertility–and what freedom she found on the other side of letting go.
• How to know when to keep fighting and when to surrender.
• Carrie's take on the purpose of suffering.
• The necessity of detaching from the outcome.
• How letting go makes it possible to see other options.
• The difference between suffering that heals and transforms and suffering that destroys.
• Carrie's take on her leap of faith–why, how, and how it turned out.

What Do You Need to Let Go Of?

Letting go is not a popular idea in our hard-driving Western culture. But one has only to consider how physically and mentally unhealthy our culture is--unprecedentedly so, in fact--to realize that there's much about how we live today that needs to change.

So perhaps letting go is something all of us need to practice more. Letting go of our demand that life be a certain way and accepting what actually IS, instead. Letting go of our demand that our partner meet all of our needs and assuming full responsibility for own wellbeing, instead. Letting go of our tireless efforts to prevent future catastrophes and accepting that much of the future is completely outside of our control. Letting go of our need for our kids to fit our mold and nurturing their unique qualities, instead.

Examine your own heart and observe your own life to discern where a surrender might be calling to you. Look especially closely at those areas in your life where you consistently experience a sense of stuckness and frustration, a pushing-back from life as it resists your repeated attempts to create a different reality.

What freedom awaits you on the other side of letting go?

Let Me Know!

What stuck with YOU from this episode? Message me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn @AndrewPettyCoach, or email me at [email protected].

I'm taking a creative break in July to have adventures with my family and give my heart and mind an opportunity to reset and be refreshed. The show will return in August with two episodes that I'm really looking forward to. From her own heartrending experiences with loss and caregiving, Michelle Mathai will teach us how to have the hard conversations with our loved ones about end-of-life issues NOW--before end-of-life issues become a reality. And terminal brain cancer warrior, Pam Blackburn, will offer her final word from the sacred space she now inhabits between life and death. If these sound like hard episodes to look forward to, much less listen to, then lean into the discomfort and tune in anyway. They might just be the episodes that you especially needed to hear.

I'm so glad you tuned in today, and don't forget to follow this show. I'll see you again in August on Andrew Petty is Dying, Lord willin' and the creek don't rise!

Let's Connect

If this episode helped you, I'd love to know. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.

Connect with Carrie

Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Website

Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review

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If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too

• Ep. 008 | More Alive Than Ever: How Pain Points the Way to Purpose
• Ep. 020 | There's Love Beneath the Waves: Ancient Wisdom for Living Wrapped in a Modern-day Story of Suffering
• Ep. 037 | Dare to Play More: Why & How

We're all familiar with that question. It comes up naturally when we meet someone for the first time in a social setting. Its usual purpose is to learn what someone does for a living to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads.

In this episode, however, we'll REpurpose this old question in a new way to help you know yourself better and discern even more clearly the paths in life for which you're uniquely made. It will become a new tool in your ongoing quest to live YOUR life with guts, gusto, and abandon.

My Answer to "What do you do?"

"I seek to understand how we should conduct ourselves in this world to produce the best results with our lives." That's my most current answer to the repurposed version of the familiar question, "What do you do?" that I'm sharing with you today. It's a description of what I've ALWAYS done, regardless of my age or stage of life or job. It's a description of what I can't NOT do, of what I've always felt compelled to do, of what always calls to me in the midst of whatever else I'm actually doing.

It's not a carefully-crafted mission statement or a statement of intention. It's not aspirational. It's a statement of what IS. It's a statement of who I am and what I do in the world on a fundamental level. I can no more change myself on that fundamental level than I can alter the course of the stars in the sky.

That's the level of insight that we're after with our newly-repurposed version of "what do you do?"

My desire for understanding has been evident from an early age–as have been whatever impulses guide you on a fundamental level. One day, when I was a little boy, for example, I paused to examine the dirt, and then asked my mom "what's the dirt doing?" (There may or may not have also been another episode at about the same age where I paused to pray for a caterpillar, then sent it to caterpillar heaven with a decisive stomp of my foot. My mom still hasn't gotten over the shock. She thought I was praying for its welfare, but apparently I was administering its last rites. But I digress…)

What's the Big Deal About Answering "What Do You Do?" for Ourselves?

The big benefit of knowing what we do on a fundamental level with this kind of clarity is that it strengthens our sense of who we are and what we're here for. Enlightened and strengthened in these ways, we can then pursue personal and professional paths that align with what we do on a fundamental level. What we do for a living to keep food on the table and a roof over our head can be a natural extension of what we've always done and will always seek to do on the deepest levels of our being.

I'm grateful that what I do for a living IS a natural extension of what I do on the most fundamental level. I've discovered that that marriage between both levels of doing is a self-perpetuating engine of growth, both fed by and feeding the very processes that drive it.

Life is hard enough without the added hardship of persisting in personal and professional paths that don't align with who we really are and what we really do. And the world needs all of us as fully engaged in our unique purposes as we can possibly be.

How confident are you in your current answer to "what do you do?"

How to Answer "What Do You Do" for Yourself

I've arrived at my current answer to this question through ongoing observation of myself as I move through the world. But that observation has occurred in the grit and grime of real life, not from behind glass with lab coats and clipboards. My conclusions at this point are based upon real-world trial and error, successes and failures. They are the result of countless implementations of my formula for human growth, Insight + Action = Transformation.

My answer is also based upon others' feedback about what they observe in me. I've proactively sought that feedback from family, friends, and professional acquaintances. I've also enlisted resources like coaching and therapy to create the kinds of insights that those kinds of partnerships are especially good at creating.

My answer will continue to evolve, too, as long as I stay engaged in the question and summon the courage to act upon what I learn.

What are one or two observations have you made about yourself so far in life that help you better understand what you do on a fundamental level?

Draft Your First Answer to "What Do You Do?" Today

"What do you do?" is a familiar question that you can repurpose in a new way to help you know yourself better and discern even more clearly the paths in life for which you're uniquely made. It takes time and awareness to wield this tool, and all of us are capable of wielding it well if we choose. It takes courage to act upon the insights we gain, forsaking paths that aren't ours in favor of ones that are.

Live YOUR life with guts, gusto, and abandon.

Take a new step in that direction today. Draft your first answer to "what do you do?" Don't white knuckle it, and don't censor or judge yourself. Then, update your answer whenever observations made in the real world generate new depths of insight into what you do. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!

I Can Help You Discover What You Do in the World

Connect with me Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me. Go here to learn more about the Graveyard Group, where you get invaluable insight and feedback from your own confidential board of advisors.

One final note before I sign off today: I'll release one more episode in June before I take a creative break for the month of July to rest and retool. I look forward to returning refreshed in August.

I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.

Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review

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If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too

• Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise
• Ep. 039 | How to Change the World: An Antidote to Apathy and Despair in an Age of Doom and Gloom

This episode is a wake-up call, a call to get back in the driver's seat of your life, a call to become the boss of your most precious nonrenewable resource: Time.

Because if you don't have time, Time will ultimately have you. And you won't like the results.

Guilty as Charged

How many times have we heard someone say, "I don't have time," or "If only I had more time," or said something like that ourselves? I imagine we've all done it. I sure have.

If we're honest, sometimes we trot out statements like these like badges of honor in an attempt to show others just how important and busy we are. Or, I suspect, simply to try to justify or comfort ourselves: "I couldn't possibly have gotten to that because of all of this, you see."

But the cold, hard truth is that statements like those are really admissions of guilt.

The crime? Failure to assume full responsibility for how we use our time. It's a crime we're all guilty of on occasion.

And the verdict we impose upon ourselves for that crime is future regret.

The Anatomy and Tragedy of Regret

Overwhelmingly, it's regret for things undone that the old and the dying speak of most painfully–not regret for mistakes made along the way. Sins of omission, so to speak, rather than sins of commission. Regret for spending too much time working and not enough time with their kids. Regret for shying away from adventures that called to them and retreating to the apparent safety of the status quo. Regret for failing to maintain dear friendships over the years. Essentially, regret for failing to give the things that matter most the attention they deserve when they were still able to do so.

None of us consciously sets out to accumulate regrets. But what we so often fail to realize is that each and every day is either an investment in a regret-filled future or in a deeply satisfying one. Posing it as an either-or proposition is an oversimplification to make the point. In reality, any given day can be an investment in both futures. But the point remains, nonetheless. It's also a compounding investment, that accrues over time and can't be made or reversed in a single future moment of regret.

There are a myriad of common reasons, many of them very compelling, why we fail to take complete responsibility for how we use our time. Competing priorities, innate wiring, and fear of the consequences of our choices are just a few. Paradoxically, the immense freedom that taking full responsibility for our time would give us seems to scare many of us off. We want freedom without responsibility. But there's no such thing.

And frankly, it's easier to let one day slide into the next without doing the hard work day in and day out to take full responsibility for how we use our time. It's easier, that is, until one day, it isn't, and the consequences of our neglect become painfully clear in the face of crisis, tragedy, loss, or old age.

No Excuses!

None of those reasons, though–compelling as they may be–changes the fact that if we don't have Time, Time will have us. If we don't proactively possess the Time we're given, it will possess us and sweep us along as if in a rip tide toward a future we don't want.

And at the end of the day, none of those reasons, however compelling, is an excuse that gets us off the hook for not taking full responsibility for how we use our time. We know this deep down, don't we, if we're brutally honest with ourselves. And every time we summon an excuse, we weaken and undermine ourselves, like the banks of a river being undercut and compromised by the water's persistent flow.

How to Become the Boss of Your Time

If we're persuaded at this point that having time is better than time having us, so to speak, we're still left with the question of how. HOW do we take full responsibility for how we use our time?

First, resolve in your heart to accept complete responsibility for how you spend your time. Embrace your uniquely human superpower of choice–a topic we touched on in episode 058, How to Make the Most of Today. You don't HAVE to do anything. Everything is a matter of sovereign choice–whether we've fully realized it or not yet. We exercise our sovereign choice according to values and priorities. You don't HAVE to pick your son up from school, for example. But you choose to because that fulfills your agreement with him made earlier that morning, which fulfills your choice to be a person of integrity and a trustworthy, loving parent. With practice over time, you'll begin to see that every moment of every day is full of choice–not "have tos" and "shoulds" and "need tos." You are free to choose! As you practice using your time as you choose, you'll begin to see options where before you only saw limitations. Your ability to creatively problem-solve your day in alignment with your values and priorities will begin to expand.

Next, Time may be our most precious nonrenewable resource, but Courage is one of our most powerful renewable resources. Summon the courage to begin using your time to give the things that matter most more of the attention that they deserve right now. This requires courage because it means stepping into the very real tension of competing priorities, choosing one over the other, and accepting whatever the cost might be. You will have to begin getting really honest about what matters more to you than other things and putting your money where your mouth is. It might mean leaving the office when there's still a lot more work to be done so that you can be on time for dinner with your wife or your daughter's basketball game. You'll face your boss' displeasure, but you'll enjoy the satisfaction of giving your family the invaluable gift of your time and attention. For more on how to manage life's many tensions more effectively, tune in to episode 017, Busting the "Balance" Myth: A Better Way.

Next, live Today, AND keep an eye on the future. Today is the only day we've got. We can't live our tomorrows today. In fact, strictly speaking, tomorrow never comes. This is good news! The only day we can actually do anything about is Today. So, summon the courage to exercise your superpower of choice in all of your comings and goings today. And, along the way, exercise your best judgment about what choices would contribute to a regret-free future to guide you. Sometimes, it's pretty clear which choice would contribute to fewer regrets in the future. Sometimes, it's much harder to tell. Keep at it, though, and in time you will refine your judgment through experience so that it serves you even more reliably.

Finally, cultivate the Mortality Mindset. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, clarifies our priorities and motivates us to break free of the tenacious grip of the status quo like conscious confrontation with our Mortality. Like unblinking acknowledgment of the fact that we will one day draw our last breath in this life and be completely out of time and options. But in order to harness Mortality's incomparable motivational power, short of experiencing an actual crisis, we have to work at it. We have to courageously and consistently bring our Mortality to mind. This flies counter to our most deep-seated human instinct to avoid our Mortality. And we're especially skilled at doing this in the affluent Western world, where we've done an excellent job of insulating ourselves from crisis and death through a vast array of technological advances and conveniences and direct active avoidance.

Which is why I say that we must "cultivate" the Mortality Mindset–much like a crop must be cultivated. Short of the impact of an actual crisis, it won't arise out of the soil of our hearts and minds on its own. Everything instinctively within us is trying to suppress its emergence, in fact. We must till the soil, plant the seed, water it, and protect it from external threats until it reaches maturity. And then, once mature, we continue to nourish it so that it continues to produce fruit in our lives. In this, we must have the attitude of the patient and persistent farmer.

Make this podcast a steady part of your diet, and till the insights you glean from it back into the soil of your heart and mind. Join a Graveyard Group, where each week we tap into the power of our Mortality to motivate us to live the lives we were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. Write your own obituary, and make it a habit to read it once a month or so to keep you orientated toward a life that you'll be proud of when you draw your last breath. There are a myriad of ways to cultivate the Mortality Mindset. But there are no shortcuts and no silver bullets. It's a commitment, a discipline, and a practice.

Choose Your Hard!

If we don't have time, time will have us. Time is no respecter of persons and cares nothing for our hopes and dreams. It moves inexorably forward. There's nothing we can do to change that.

But we CAN control HOW we use our time. And that's really good news. What's remarkable, though, is how few of us fully embrace that opportunity. In fact, this has been one of the fiercest battles of adulthood for me–the battle to assume full responsibility for how I use my time and take hold of the freedom and power that we get in return. The battle is ongoing, but there's good evidence that the tide of battle is turning in my favor.

It's not easy, but it is worth it. So choose your hard: Put in the hard work day by day right now to take full responsibility for how you use your time, or deal with the bitterly hard consequences of failing to do so after it's too late.

TODAY is the day, ladies and gents. There is no Tomorrow.

Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!

I Can Help

You CAN take full responsibility for how you spend your time. But you don't have to do it alone. I can help.

Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me. Go here to learn more about the Graveyard Group, visit digdeepwinbig.com/thegraveyardgroup.

I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.

Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review

Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher

If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too

• Ep. 016 | The Question That Changes Everything: The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live
• Ep. 053 | No Time Like the Present: A Simple Tool for Giving the Things that Matter Most the Attention They Deserve
• Ep. 058 | How to Make the Most of Today: A Simple Framework

What place do rites of passage have in your life?

In this episode, my special guest is MY coach Amy Musson, and we explore why rites of passage matter and the surprisingly harmful consequences of neglecting them. It turns out that there's more at stake than you might have thought--if you've ever given rites of passage much thought at all.

If you haven't given them much thought, then you're not alone. I think most of us in the materially affluent Western world today have largely neglected meaningful rites of passage. Emphasis on "materially affluent," by the way, because, as Amy and I discuss in this conversation, we affluent Westerners are perhaps quite impoverished in other less tangible but vitally important areas.

An Episode is Born

I hadn't given rites of passage much thought until recently, as my oldest son approached his 13th year. Then, a couple months ago, Amy and I had a coaching conversation that led us to stumble upon the importance of rites of passage in a fresh way that had immediate value for both of us. It's out of that coaching conversation that the idea for today's episode was born.

That's one of the things that I love about coaching conversations: At their core, they are creative exchanges that generate fresh insight and create new depths of understanding. And that's what I invite you into today--a very candid continuation of a creative exchange about rites of passage that Amy and I began a couple months ago. A creative exchange that made an impact in both of our lives. I hope it will spark your own curiosity and creativity around rites of passage and make an impact in your life, too.

Introducing MY Coach, Amy Musson

Amy and I met almost two years ago when we were both members of an online forum created by Ozan Varol, an author I've mentioned in previous episodes whose book, Think Like a Rocket Scientist, entered my life at just the right time--as books can do. Long-story-short, Amy and I recognized that we each had something to offer the other, and we struck up a peer coaching partnership that's been going strong ever since. We alternate coaching each other on a weekly basis. Our partnership has been one of the most influential and transformative I've ever experienced, personally AND professionally. Amy is an innately gifted coach, with vast amounts of training, experience, and wisdom to boot, and an ever-evolving array of offerings. In fact, it was one of those offerings–her podcast, The Growth Moment–that triggered a revelation for me about unexpressed grief and led to newfound freedom. I'll include details about how to connect with Amy in the shownotes for this episode.

Highlights From This Conversation

• Amy's own recent successful experience with a rite of passage for her son and her painful missed opportunity with her dad
• What happens when we fail to observe rites of passage
• How rites of passage set us free to be all that we can be
• The surprising connection between the First Law of Thermodynamics, rites of passage, and our development as humans
• And more…

Making It Matter In YOUR Life

Where in your life have transformational moments become merely transactional? Where in your life have you sterilized that which should be ritualized? What parts of you are developmentally delayed because a rite of passage was either neglected or mishandled in the past? How could a rite of passage help you acknowledge and catalyze a transition you're currently experiencing? How could a rite of passage help one of your kids transition well from one stage to the next?

In my own case, I'm aware that a mid-life rite of passage might be in order. There's much simmering beneath the surface that needs expression or transformation, I think--maybe some of that trapped energy that Amy brought up. I want to embrace my stage of life even more fully and move forward with guts, gusto, and abandon, but I think in some ways I'm still mourning what I'm leaving behind. I wonder if I'm stuck emotionally and developmentally and if a rite of passage could help. I don't have a clear next step yet, but it's on my heart and mind. And frankly, on the one hand it feels easier to just keep trudging ahead without giving this any attention. On the other hand, though, I don't think that's the best way forward if I want to move into the next stage of my life with as much freedom, guts, gusto, and abandon as possible.

That's me. What about you?

Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!

I Can Help

Are you feeling stuck or need help making a transition in life? Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.

I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.

Connect with Amy

Email | Website | Podcast | Instagram | LinkedIn

Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review

Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher

If You Liked This Episode, Try These, Too

• Ep. 031 | How's the Conversation Going? Improving Your Most Important Relationships One Conversation at a Time
• Ep. 053 | No Time Like the Present: A Simple Tool for Giving the Things that Matter Most the Attention They Deserve
• Ep. 058 | How to Make the Most of Today: A Simple Framework

"If I've learned anything in the last three years, it's that life and death are so much bigger than us. You embraced life and love with all your amazing energy, which still reverberates. You are still with us on walks in the forest, on windy ridges, in a sunlit moment after the rain, in the love, laughter, and music of your friends and family. You are there in dreams that seem more real than waking moments. Everyday I think of you on your timeless flight. I love you with all my heart, and miss you more than words can say."

Michelle Kuipers wrote this heartrending caption for an Instagram post on March 5, 2021--the third anniversary of the death of her son, Marc-Andre' Leclerc, who died in 2018 descending the Mendenhall Towers in Alaska with his climbing partner, Ryan Johnson. Marc-Andre's life is the subject of the acclaimed 2021 documentary, The Alpinist, currently available on Netflix. Michelle also appeared in the film.

Life-Changing

Marc-Andre's story changed my life--or maybe more accurately, IS changing my life. And I know I'm not alone. Michelle's instagram feed is full of messages from people saying the very same thing. For the first few days after watching The Alpinist, I was unsettled and on edge, stirred up and ansty, aware that Marc-André's story had awakened something deep within me--something that I wasn't yet able to identify or articulate but wouldn't leave me alone. Something that needed attention.

Which is odd on the one hand, because although I do love being out in nature's wild places, I've never aspired to anything like the kind of audacious adventures that Marc-André undertook. I'm not an alpinist, as he was, or even a climber. But the fact that his story is changing my life nonetheless, as different as we are and as different as our stories are, reveals that The Alpinist is ultimately not a story about remarkable feats in the alpine environment. It's not a climbing movie, merely. It's a story about hearing and heeding our unique calling in life--wholeheartedly and unapologetically and without self-conscious concern for its relative value or utility in the world. It's a story about being ourselves--being the one and only me, the one and only you, with guts, gusto, and abandon. It's a story about how writing a great story with our life can change other people's lives.

And that's the gift of Marc-André's story in my life--the exhortation and admonition to be ME. That's what was awakened within me and demanded attention when I first watched The Alpinist. Even though I've been on a journey to become who I was made to be for many years now, and as a coach I help others on the same journey, my reaction to The Alpinist showed me that I was still wrestling deep in my heart with whether it was ok or enough. Marc-André's story brought that internal conflict to the surface and gave me the confidence to put my doubts to rest.

From Michelle's Perspective

Perhaps the most important sub-plot in The Alpinist is the relationship between Marc-André and his mom. That part of the storyline absolutely captivated me. How had Michelle summoned the courage and the wisdom to help Marc André discover and pursue such an audacious calling? How had she helped Marc-André become who he was made to be? I wanted to know more.

So I reached out to Michelle on Instagram from out of the blue, and long-story-short, much to my surprise and pleasure, Michelle agreed to be on the show.

In this exclusive conversation, Michelle and I dig deeper into the story, exploring questions like: What did the documentary leave out? How did Michelle cope with worry when Marc-Andrè was out on a solo climb? What was Marc-André's philosophy of life? And how does Michelle live differently because of her son's life and tragic death?

And Michelle's account of Marc-André's first climbing experience will surprise you.

This episode is also a paradigm-shifting masterclass in how to live sovereign, empowered, and purposeful lives. It's a goldmine.

If you enjoyed The Alpinist, you'll love getting to know Marc-André even better through Michelle's eyes. And, you'll be equipped with wisdom and insight for your own life from a remarkable woman.

We recorded this episode on March 10, coincidentally the 4th anniversary of the day Michelle returned from Alaska without Marc-André, after the effort to recover his body at the base of the Mendenhall Towers had been abandoned. I feel extremely fortunate to have spent time with Michelle, on a day fraught with so many emotions, to celebrate, honor, and learn from a remarkable man and his remarkable mom.

Highlights From This Conversation

5 key insights stick out to me from this conversation that help us understand HOW to be our true selves:

First, our Story and our Purpose in the world are inseparable. Marc-André's family's lack of financial resources in his early years was a constraint that inspired creativity in their family and "activated" Marc-André's imagination and thirst for adventure. In what ways does your Story point to your true calling?

Next, to be our true selves, we have to determine what we really want. Michelle's conversation with Marc-André after graduation created an environment within which Marc-Andrè was able to acknowledge what he really wanted and go for it. What do you really want? If you don't know, what's in the way? If you haven't already, tune in to Ep. 055, What Do You Want: A Path to Purpose and Fulfillment, with Chris Slota, for a real-world case study in how to determine what we want.

Next, when we find things that align with the kind of human we are, the naturally-occurring collateral benefits are dedication, discipline, sacrifice, and ultimately, proficiency and mastery. Marc-Andrè applied himself to alpinism with a focus and determination far beyond anything he'd been able to muster in any other area of his life. What naturally brings out dedication, discipline, and sacrifice in your life? Whatever it is, it's very likely a key to who you were made to be.

Next, be willing to put in the work to get what you want. Marc-Andrè spent countless thousands of hours becoming the boldest alpinist of his generation--perhaps the boldest of any generation so far. What calls to you so strongly that you're willing to put in the work required to get it?

Finally, try different things in life, and be willing to acknowledge what fits you and what doesn't, regardless of the prevailing cultural and social norms. Michelle was a keen and attentive observer of the kind of human her son was, and she encouraged him to shut out prevailing cultural and social norms in order to tune in more closely to what he liked and didn't like. What are you giving time and energy to largely because of prevailing norms? What would you begin to give more time and energy to if those prevailing norms weren't present?

Tune in to the full episode to learn 5 tenets of Marc-Andrè's philosophy of life–the same philosophy that propelled him to such astounding heights in the mountains and allowed him to become the person he was made to be.

One Story…A Million Different Meanings

The wonderfully mysterious thing about sharing someone's story is that the same story can mean a million different things to as many different people. Other people's stories come alongside our story, so to speak, and serve as a mirror of sorts--a mirror that allows us to see ourselves more clearly than we otherwise would have. We often find comfort, confirmation, inspiration, AND challenge in the image reflected back to us. Comfort that we're not alone, confirmation of choices we've made, inspiration to aspire to new heights, and sometimes, a challenge to forsake old, unproductive ways and embrace new, life-giving ones. So I'm encouraged by the certain knowledge that Michelle's and Marc-André's stories are working their magic in the hearts and minds of all who listen to this episode…

But Don't Miss This…

…AND, if I were to pick one thing that I hope EVERYONE gets from this episode, it's the courage to be YOU, the one and only you. To hear and heed whatever is calling to you--wholeheartedly, unapologetically, and without self-conscious concern for its relative value or utility in the world. We CAN'T know what the ultimate value of the pursuit of our calling will be. Marc-André certainly couldn't have known how many lives his story would change. He didn't set out to change lives; he simply responded to the call in his heart the best he knew how. And it turns out that his best was none other than the best-ever. And, it turns out that his example is inspiring people like you and me to be who we were uniquely made to be, with guts, gusto, and abandon.

Ladies and gents, consider the riches available when we persist in becoming our true selves. And consider the costs of not doing so.

Here's to becoming who we were each uniquely made to be!

Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So follow Marc-André's example, and get after it!

Making It Matter In YOUR Life

What stuck with YOU from this episode? Message me on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.

And if you're new to this show, welcome! I invite you to browse the archive of past interviews with fascinating people and short, topical solo episodes--all designed to equip you with the mindset and the means to become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. We flip the script by inviting our ancient foe, Death, to become an unlikely ally in our heroic journey to leave it all out on the field of life. Turns out, Mortality might just be the best motivator available--blasting us out of our ambivalence and complacency and toward the fullness of our potential.

I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.

Connect with Michelle

Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn

Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review

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If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too

• Ep. 003 | How to Turn Your Imperfections Into Superpowers: The Key to Unlocking Your Unique Purpose
• Ep. 005 | How to Become the Boss of Your Fear: Bravery-building to Live With More Guts and Gusto
• Ep. 016 | ​​The Question That Changes Everything: The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live

How do we make the most of today?

This episode is short and sweet, banged out somewhat hastily during the current season of curveballs I mentioned in the previous episode–but banged out with love and goodwill toward you, my fellow traveler along life's winding path, you who are waking up to the reality of your Mortality and courageously embracing it to live with guts, gusto, and abandon.

So today I'm gonna give you what I've got and pray that it reaches the hearts of those who need it most. And what I've got is a simple framework for making the most of today–the only day you''ve got. Plus, a preview of an upcoming episode that I'm super-excited to share with you.

A Simple Framework to Make the Most of Today

Here's a simple but powerful framework for making the most of today–and every day that you're fortunate to be granted in the future:

First, pause, breathe, and acknowledge the MIRACLE of today! Countless thousands had to successfully reproduce over the millenia in order for you to even exist. The chances of you existing right now in this moment are slim to none. Your heart has beat faithfully without interruption every second of every minute of every hour of every day to bring you to this moment. Just think about that. Put your hand over your heart and feel its strong, rhythmic pulsation. Thank it for its many years of service so far. And if you're able to listen to this episode, then you almost certainly have a comfortable place to call home, a way to provide for your needs, freedom to choose how you spend your time, plenty of food, clean water, and the ability to improve your situation in life if you choose to. These factors alone put you among the very most fortunate people on the planet.

Next, acknowledge that as a sovereign, free, fully-responsible member of the human race, you've been granted the superpower of Choice. Do you really believe that? Even in situations where much is outside of our control, we always still have the freedom to choose our response. In this freedom to choose lies our Dignity and our ability to craft our Destiny. Today, the only day you've got, you get to choose who you are and who you're becoming. If some of your past choices haven't served you well, then today you get another chance to make different choices. Every day truly is a NEW day. In fact, today could be THE day that you look back on and realize with deep pride and satisfaction that you began to do your part to change things for the better. Today is yours to do with as you please.

Then, acknowledging the miraculous gift of this one day–the only day you've got, fully owning your superpower of Choice amidst life's many competing demands and priorities, and in light of what matters most to you, decide what would make today a rewarding day and determine to prioritize that thing above all others. For example, maybe you've lost touch with an old friend and realize that you'd regret it if that remained the case. Determine, then, to reach out to that friend before the day is over. Or maybe you've been putting off a difficult conversation with your boss–the conversation that you know needs to be had in order for you to be with your family more. Resolve to do your part to have that conversation today. In my case, today I resolved to get another video call scheduled with my mom, dad, and sister–something I've decided is important to me in this stage of life when, frankly, it's easier to drift apart than it is to grow closer.

What will you choose to prioritize over everything else in order to make today a rewarding day? In order to live with guts, gusto, and abandon?

To Sum Up…

There you have it–a simple framework for making the most of today:

• First, acknowledge the miracle of Today.
• Next, fully own your superpower of Choice.
• Finally, decide what would make today a rewarding day and determine to prioritize that thing above all others.

You can deploy this framework each new day in a matter of minutes, but its impact will far exceed your investment of time and energy.

In this way, day after day, you'll make the most of your days. And as you go, you'll grow in wisdom and understanding about what makes a great day for you.

Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!

Exclusive Preview | The Making of The Alpinist's Marc-Andre' Leclerc, on Andrew Petty is Dying

I'm super-excited to share with you that on Mother's Day, Sunday, May 8, I'll air an exclusive interview with Michelle Kuipers, Marc-André Leclerc's mom. Leclerc's life is the subject of the acclaimed 2021 documentary, The Alpinist, currently available on Netflix. Marc-Andre's story had a huge impact on my life, and I was absolutely pumped when Michelle agreed to be on the show. If you haven't watched The Alpinist yet, I wholeheartedly recommend it, and ideally, watch it before you tune into this episode.

This episode answers many questions that The Alpinist left unanswered and dives deeper into questions you may not have thought to consider, including: What did the documentary leave out? How did Michelle summon the wisdom and the courage to help

Marc André discover and pursue such an audacious calling? What does it mean to "live like Marc-André?" How does Michelle live differently because of her son's life and tragic death? And Michelle's account of Marc André's very first climbing experience will surprise you.

For all of you parents out there, this exclusive conversation is also a paradigm-shifting masterclass in how to raise sovereign, empowered, and purposeful adults.

If you enjoyed The Alpinist, you'll love getting to know Marc-André even better through his mom's eyes. And, you'll be equipped with wisdom and insight for your own life from a remarkable woman.

Alright, that's a wrap for today, folks. What stuck with you?

I'd love to know. Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.

I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.

Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review

Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher

If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too

• Ep. 014 | Dare to Dream Again: The Antidote to a Mediocre Life
• Ep. 016 | The Question That Changes Everything: The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live
• Ep. 019 | The Cockpit is Yours: From Passenger to Pilot
• Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise

What do we do when life throws us a curveball?

On this podcast, we're equipping ourselves with the mindset and the means to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. Growing in our ability to respond to life's inevitable curveballs requires both evolving our mindset and upgrading our means. And as we get better at responding to life's curveballs, we increase our capacity to live with even more guts, gusto, and abandon.

In this episode, I'll draw from my own recent experience to share with you what I'm learning in real-time about what to do when life throws us a curveball.

A Season of Curveballs

It's been a weird start to the year for the Petty family. A season of curveballs, really.

Shortly after Christmas, I cracked a wisdom tooth and had to have it pulled, and then all four of us did our second lap around the block with COVID. In early February, my wife, Charis, suffered a concussion from a fall skiing and was sidelined from life and work for the better part of two weeks. Then, in early March, Charis was sidelined again, this time with excruciating back spasms that came seemingly from out of nowhere. It was Charis' turn yet again in early April, this time with agonizing neck spasms–an episode from which she's still recovering as of this episode's air date. It was horrible to see her in so much pain and not be able to do anything about it.

Then, I summoned the courage to schedule a routine annual check-up with my doctor.

"Summon the courage?" you might very reasonably question. For many, if not most, of you, scheduling a routine check-up isn't a matter of courage but more just a matter of not forgetting to do it. For me, though, the flavor of Anxiety that I can experience around health stuff tempts me to avoid stuff like annual exams because ignorance is bliss, right? Until unavoidable reality shatters that blissful ignorance, of course. So, after a couple years of negligence, I heeded Jordan Peterson's admonition to "treat myself like someone I'm responsible for helping," grabbed myself by the scruff of the neck, and dragged myself off to the doctor. The Mortality Mindset motivated me here, too, calling me out of the shadows of avoidance and denial and into the light of prudence and reality.

As my doctor walked through the results of my bloodwork with me just a few days ago, I was pleased that so many indicators were positive–much more positive than I'd expected, in fact, or had been the case in previous years. Then, my doctor got to the final result, and his demeanor changed slightly but perceptibly. "Was this a fasting lab?" he asked. "Yes," I answered. "Why?"

The Latest Curveball

Long-story-short, after another blood draw, it turns out that I'm borderline diabetic. At least, that's what I think the result means. I have a follow-up conversation scheduled with the doctor.

To the degree that the title of this podcast was ever merely theoretical or academic to me, this new development made it a whole lot more real and more personal. An actual medical result related to an actual disease that ranks among the top 10 leading causes of death globally.

Curveball.

I've sat with this news over the past few days–aware of a growing heaviness. Becoming aware of the long-term lifestyle implications of a chronic condition. Aware of another reminder of the loss of youth. Perhaps even beginning to grieve a little bit. Aware too that my grief may be very premature because there's still a lot that I don't know. It's been a bit of a roller coaster. I'm still in the awkward early stages of understanding my situation.

Whatever my situation truly is, though, it is at least the latest in a series of curveballs.

Which brings us to the question that's at the heart of what we're exploring today: "What do we do when life throws us a curveball?"

What to Do When Life Throws Us a Curveball

I'm not going to subject you to what would undoubtedly be a painful attempt to expand the curveball metaphor beyond its useful limits. But I do want to share with you what I'm learning about what to do when life throws us a curveball and how I'm attempting to respond to our current season of curveballs. There's a LOT that could be said about this–maybe even much more that should be said–but I've tried to narrow it down to the essentials to keep it as simple and actionable as possible. Think of what I'm about to share as points on a compass–a compass specially designed to help us navigate our way through life's many challenges even more effectively so we can live with even more guts, gusto, and abandon.

Before I add or mix any more metaphors, we'd better go ahead and jump right in.

When life throws you a curveball…

First, summon the courage to acknowledge Reality. It's astonishing how hard this one can really be. In response to something unwanted or unwelcome, especially of the more catastrophic sort, our deep-seated denial mechanisms spring into action. We can even experience a sort of dissociation. This may in some ways be inevitable and unavoidable and even necessary from a psychological survival standpoint. But we do ourselves and others a favor the quicker we are able to acknowledge the new Reality to ourselves and, I suggest, to a few trusted others. Be mindful neither to minimize nor catastrophize, and it will likely require the more objective input of others in order to avoid either extreme.

Acknowledging reality also means allowing yourself to experience the emotions that accompany it, whatever they may be. Attempting to manhandle your emotions into some sort of artificial or premature compliance only drags things out and compounds the impact of the curveball. Be as honest as you know how to be about how you're really feeling. This establishes an emotional starting point from which you can chart a course forward. But until you've established that starting point, very little productive forward movement is possible.

I don't think, however, that acknowledging Reality is the same as accepting Reality–at least not in the early stages. I've acknowledged the Reality that something's wonky with my blood sugar. I've given myself permission to experience the emotions that are presenting themselves. But I'm also well aware that I don't know enough nor have I lived long enough with the implications of this new Reality to have accepted it. Acceptance will come, but I'm not asking that of myself yet.

I've found the Mortality Mindset really useful in my own efforts to acknowledge Reality. Armed with the conscious awareness of my Mortality, I'm more powerfully motivated to experience Life as it IS rather than attempt to escape into wishful thinking and fantasy. The sooner I can embrace what IS, the sooner I can get on with living–even if that living has been substantially altered by the curveball.

The next thing to do when life throws you a curveball is what I'll call "triage and adjust."

Triage is a term most commonly encountered in emergency medical situations. In case you're unfamiliar with it, triage basically means determining the order in which injured or ill people will receive care, with those most in need of it receiving care first.

In the case of a curveball, after acknowledging the new Reality, it's time to conduct our own triage assessment of the situation and adjust accordingly. When Charis' spasms were at their worst, she was really completely out of commission. My triage assessment led me to prioritize Charis' and my wellbeing first–the whole airplane oxygen mask idea, then our boys' wellbeing, then work and other obligations. The assessment helped me determine how to allocate my time, energy, and other resources in response to the curveball.

Maybe that seems like a Captain Obvious assessment. But what I can be tempted to do, and I bet some of you can relate, is to try to keep up my pre-curveball levels of productivity and performance even after a curveball has crossed the plate. When curveballs arrive, it's not business as usual. So don't try to act like it is. It's time to triage and adjust. It's time to work WITH the new Reality rather than resist it so you can move through it more effectively.

This episode is actually the result of working WITH the new Reality rather than resisting it. As my production deadline approached, I had nothing. In fact, I had never been so close to my production deadline with nothing already in the works. But, I relaxed and reminded myself that I could trust myself to get it done. The idea and the inspiration would come. Sure enough, the first flicker of an idea popped up when my wife and I were driving to my son's track meet, and she suggested the curveball theme. That led me to begin considering how I had been approaching our season of curveballs and how I could formulate that in a way that might be useful to others. My acknowledgement of our Reality and the subsequent triage and adjustments had led to a super-tight production window. It wasn't business as usual, so I hadn't tried to act like it was. And when I stayed open to working WITH the new Reality, IT ended up working with ME.

The final thing to do when life throws you a curveball is get back on the offensive.

Curveballs put us back on our heels–reactive, defensive, reeling a bit. But once we've summoned the courage to acknowledge Reality, triaged, and adjusted, it's time to get back on the offensive. Two questions can help us do that and avoid falling into a passive, victimy mindset:

• First, what am I able to influence or control in this situation that could improve the situation? Whatever your answer is, do that thing. Maybe you can enlist the help of a medical professional or call upon a friend to watch your kids for a bit. Maybe it's time to cancel some commitments in order to make room for the new Reality. Whatever you can do to improve the situation, take responsibility for doing it.
• Next, in what other areas of my life can I continue to advance? It may be that not much about the curveball is within your ability to influence or control. But there are ALWAYS other areas in our lives where we can exert influence or some measure of control and advance. Finding those areas and determining to take Action in them is a powerful way to stay on the offensive in life, even if a curveball has changed life as you knew it.

Landing the Plane

Curveballs in life are inevitable. It's not a matter of IF life will throw you one; it's simply a matter of when and what it will be.

Improving our response to life's curveballs, then, is an essential part of living with even more guts, gusto, and abandon. This episode has helped equip us with the mindset and the means to respond to curveballs more effectively.

When life throws us a curveball:

• First, summon the courage to acknowledge the new Reality.
• Next, triage and adjust.
• And finally, get back on the offensive.

And through it all, as you try with all your might to respond even more effectively to life's curveballs, shower heaping portions of grace and patience on yourself. You're a wonderful, remarkable, unique, and imperfect human. Value progress over perfection.

Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So keep getting after it–even if getting after it looks a little different than it used to because life threw you one of its inevitable curveballs. Sometimes, different is better, and sometimes, different is beautiful. And sometimes, as Carl Jung said, "That which you most need will be found where you least want to look."

What about You?

How do you respond to life's curveballs? I'd love to know.

Message me on on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.

I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.

Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review

Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher

If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too

• Ep. 005 | How to Become the Boss of Your Fear: Bravery-building to Live With More Guts and Gusto
• Ep. 012 | How to Harness the Winds of Discomfort to Get Where You Want to Go: Becoming a Seasoned Sailor on the Seas of Life
• Ep. 050 | Seize the Offensive: An Antidote to Fear, Dread, and Timid Living

It may seem like an odd question, but your answer to it has everything to do with your quality of life. My guest on this episode shares actionable insight into this relationship so that we can optimize our quality of life.

Introducing Dr. Frederic Tate

Dr. Frederic Tate is a fascinating human with a perspective on Life and Death forged in the crucible of end-of-life care. A trusted friend connected us, so I knew Frederic was someone I should get to know. And I took an immediate shine to him from afar when I learned that he grew up in the Appalachian Mountains like I did. It's been a pleasure getting to know him, and it's a pleasure to share his wisdom with you today.

Frederic's wisdom is backed by tons of credibility. He holds undergraduate degrees in art and psychology, completed his doctorate at Southern Illinois University, and holds a clinical affiliation in art therapy. Frederic published articles on the topic of death and dying and was fortunate to study under the tutelage of internationally-renowned psychiatrist and authority on death and dying, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. He was also one of the founders of Jack's House, the first hospice specifically for gay men with HIV/AIDS on the East coast.

For 36 years, Frederic worked at Eastern State Hospital in Williamsburg, VA--established in colonial times as the nation's first public hospital. At Eastern State, he worked with inpatient, adult males with serious mental illness. In addition, he has served as adjunct faculty at The College of William and Mary and Eastern Virginia Medical School in Norfolk, lecturing on hospice and palliative care.

Today, Frederic is happily retired. He volunteers in hospice and at a local food pantry. He's an avid biker, hiker, kayaker, and international traveler. When he's not out in nature, he can be found at home reading, painting, or slaughtering the classics on his baby grand piano.

Some Highlights from This Conversation

• The surprising connection between the denial of Death and violence and strife in our culture
• The importance of tending to our "inner work," especially our relationship with Death and dying
• The importance of symbols of Death and the individual and cultural cost of their absence
• Why Halloween and The Day of the Dead are among the most important holidays
• How "tasks of grieving" has replaced the 5 Stages of Grief that many of us are familiar with
• One way that our "civilized" culture would benefit from becoming "uncivilized"
• How to upgrade your relationship with Death
• And more…

Making It Matter in Your Life

Let's circle back to the question we started this episode with, but now equipped with the benefit of the conversation you just heard:

"What is your relationship with Death?"

I hope by now you're more persuaded that we all, in fact, have a relationship with Death--even if until now it's been largely an unconscious or subconscious one. And I hope, too, that you're more persuaded of the immense practical importance of understanding your personal relationship with Death and evolving it wherever it's inadequate or working against you.

If you're not persuaded yet, what's missing? What reservations or doubts need resolution?

If you are persuaded, at least sufficiently so, then what's a next step for you in evolving your relationship with Death so that it can improve your quality of life even more? Maybe, as Frederic suggested, it's time to read more on the topic. Maybe it's time to introduce concrete symbols of Death into your Life. Maybe Halloween takes on a different significance for you this year.

Whatever you decide your next step is, don't delay. Take even more responsibility for your quality of life, and take that step today.

Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!

I Can Help

Want support evolving your relationship with Death and improving your quality of life? I can help.

Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.

I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.

Books & Authors Recommended by Frederic

• The Only Dance There Is (Ram Dass)
• The Road Less Traveled (M. Scott Peck, M.D.)
• On Death and Dying (Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D.)

If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too

• Ep. 001 | You're Dying: How to Make the Most of It
• Ep. 018 | Life's 3 Big Questions: A Conversation with the Coroner

Connect with Frederic: Email

Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review

Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher

It's a simple enough question at face value, but it can be far from easy to answer. Many of us have never truly tried to answer it. Many of us have never been aware that it was important to do so. And many of us are a lot better at knowing what we DON'T want.

Failing to answer this question can lead to surprisingly harmful consequences--but answering it can put us on a path to unprecedented purpose and fulfillment.

Don't just take my word for it, though. In this episode, my guest, Chris Slota, gives us unfiltered access to the remarkable personal transformation he's experienced over the past couple of years--a transformation he owes in large part to his determination to begin figuring out what he wants in life. Listening back to our conversation, I was amazed to hear how many other timeless principles for living a life of purpose and fulfillment are embedded in Chris' story, too. This episode is a veritable cornucopia of practical wisdom for all of us.

Introducing Chris Slota

I met Chris and his wife, Veronica, at a dinner party almost three years ago. Not long after that, Chris became a member of one of my Graveyard Groups. Chris shares more about that whole progression and its significance in the conversation that you're about to hear.

Chris hails originally from Ohio, but he's called our little mountain town of Steamboat Springs home since 2008, and like most of us here in Steamboat, he's never looked back.

Highlights from this Episode

Here are a few of the key points and themes from this conversation:

• The importance of knowing what you do want instead of simply what you don't want: "It's hard to walk a path of places you don't want to go."
• How the Victim mentality gets in the way of knowing what you want
• To see, you have to open your eyes: How "opening his eyes" allowed Chris to see opportunities he wanted to pursue.
• How Chris opened his eyes (you can do it, too!)
• Finding your "why"
• Staying focused on the "What" more than the "How"
• Choosing your stress

A handful of bullets can't begin to do justice to the depth of this conversation and its value for any of us wanting to find a new way forward. This episode is practically a how-to. Tune in to the full episode for the full effect.

Making it Matter in YOUR Life

An overarching theme in Chris' story is personal responsibility. Chris assumed more complete responsibility for himself by securing resources to help him find an even better way forward when he realized that his current situation wasn't satisfactory. In Chris' case, The Graveyard Group became a key ingredient in his recipe for transformation. That one simple step--proactively investing in himself with a small group of other men--paved the way for all that was to come. It created the fertile soil out of which pivotal insights would emerge--especially his awareness that he was much better at knowing what he DIDN't want than what he DID want. Those insights led to concrete action in the real world. And those actions created transformation.

Insight + Action = Transformation.

Pause for a moment and ask yourself: Where in my life am I more of a passive bystander than an active participant? Where am I failing to take complete responsibility for myself?

Whatever you come up with...Are you willing to take a page out of Chris' playbook, and do something about it?

Tomorrow never comes, folks; there's only Today. What are you waiting for?

Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!

Learn More about The Graveyard Group

To learn more about The Graveyard Group, visit digdeepwinbig.com/thegraveyardgroup, message me on on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, or email me.

I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.

Connect with Chris

Email | Instagram | Twitter | Website

Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review

Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher

If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too

• Ep. 019 | The Cockpit is Yours: From Passenger to Pilot
• Ep. 021 | Sometimes, the Grass IS Greener: How a Familiar Bit of Conventional Wisdom Could be Holding You Back from the Life You Were Made to Live
• Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise

It's one thing to encounter Mortality unexpectedly. It's quite another thing to voluntarily put yourself in situations where encounters with Mortality are around every corner. Yet that's what my guest on this episode does often--and with jaw-dropping results. What he's learned in his years of exploring the edges of human ability will inspire you to live with more guts, gusto, and abandon than ever before--to live life in full color.

Meet Doug Tumminello, Extreme Adventurer

Doug Tumminello is an attorney by trade and a world-class adventurer at heart. His exploits include successful summits of 4 iconic mountains--including Everest and Denali, a Guinness-World-Record-setting team crossing of the Indian Ocean in a rowboat, a solo attempt to traverse the South Pole, and a plethora of other feats of endurance and perseverance like the Leadville Trail 100 Ultramarathon.

A Defining Mortality Moment

Several years into a lucrative but all-consuming law career–at one point, Doug logged 11 months straight without a single day off–Doug got word that a friend had died in a climbing accident. Doug had fallen in love with climbing in college but put it aside once he started a family and kicked off his career. But his friend's death forced Doug to pause and reflect:

"What am I doing?" I'm spending my life in this job, which I enjoy, but it's taking up all my time, all my efforts, all my energy, and I'm abandoning those things that I really love, being out in the wild and in nature. And [I] decided at that point, that I was going to get back to doing those things I really loved to do in the outdoors. And the [day after the memorial service], had started planning for an expedition to Denali."

And so an unexpected encounter with Mortality prompted Doug to begin pursuing adventures that voluntarily expose him to Mortality around every corner. He's never looked back.

Highlights from This Episode

We cover a lot of rich territory in this conversation, including:

• The importance of responding to your heart's call and the costs of not doing so
• How to find the thing you're intended to do
• Embracing your mortality and organizing your life accordingly
• The "scary simple" way to break free of the gravitational pull of the status quo
• The importance of getting in touch with mystery
• Dispelling the illusion of safety and security
• Bold vs. timid living
• The thing that's worse than dying
• Which matters more, the journey or the destination?

Tune in to the full episode for the full impact of this conversation. I know it's made an impact on me. I'm chewing on what big adventure I might create for myself to tap into some of what Doug has learned through his experiences.

Making it Matter in YOUR Life

Doug's extreme adventures have taught him about the riches available to us when we listen to the call of our heart and following it wherever it leads us. The bigger, the better. The more profound, the better. We go further, see more, do more, and understand more when we respond to your heart's call than we ever would otherwise--even if we don't fully achieve the thing that you set out to do. We'll live life in full color rather than a diminished life in the grays and in the shadows--deluded by a false sense of safety and security.

I want that full-color kind of life. What about you?

What call of your heart are you suppressing, shrinking away from in fear, or stalled out on because the many overwhelming "hows" are distracting you from the more important "what?" Maybe you can't yet hear the call of your heart because it's drowned out by the white noise of day-to-day living. Maybe it's time for some solitude, reflection, and contemplation so your heart's call can begin to make itself known.

What's your heart telling you right now? Whatever it is...do that thing.

Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!

Let's Connect

What stuck with you from this episode?

Message me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.

I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.

Connect with Doug

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If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too

• Ep. 011 | Embracing Mystery, When to Call It a Day, and What Matters Most: Lessons from an Astonishing Life-After-Death Story
• Ep. 016 | The Question That Changes Everything: The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live

Check out Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage (Alfred Lansing), the book Doug mentioned in this episode.