Anti-wave

Willem Dafoe is an art thief who gets trapped and can’t get out? Sounds like he’s really stuck between a Rothko and a hard place. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss INSIDE, and share their top tall building movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be an art thief who breaks into a luxury high-rise to steal some art and the security code is wonky and things get wacky including no running water and the thermostat is all fucked up and it gets real hot in there, and you cool off by shoving your face in the refrigerator and licking the sides of the icebox while forced to listen to the Macarena and your only friend is the cleaning lady who you watch on a video monitor, and it rains so you collect water to drink and you build a makeshift platform to chip away at the skylight and remove the bolts and you fall off the mountain of crap, and you trip out on hallucinations and set off the fire sprinkler and you’re drenched and now skin and bones, then this podcast is for you!

This episode has got more slaps than a bottle of ketchup at an all-night diner! Join Robert and Ira, along with their special guest film professor Eric Swelstad, as they discuss THE OSCARS and CHRIS ROCK: SELECTIVE OUTRAGE, and share their top slap movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a famous comedian who gets slapped at the Academy Awards, and one year later you decide it’s time to present your comedy special where you talk about our need for attention and being a victim and the Kardashians and you finally talk about the joke you said last year and how Will Smith thought it was funny but when he looked at his wife, he snapped and stormed on stage and slapped the shit out of you, and you blame Will’s wife for the brouhaha because she’s a thug and had sex with her son’s friend and Will had to be all macho and shit, and now one year later you’re finally lashing back, then this podcast is for you!

Did you know that the bear in this week’s movie was once owned by Tom Sizemore? The crew didn’t even have to provide drugs for the animal. It was method acting. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss COCAINE BEAR and share their top five … surprise movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a big-ass bear living in the woods and a shit load of cocaine falls from the sky and you eat it and get fucking cray-cray and kill people, and you attack a cute hiker in shorts and white socks and rip her apart and eat her, and you terrorize a girl and boy, and then you attack and devour a couple of forest rangers, and while the girl’s mother searches for her daughter, you go after the drug smugglers who are there to find the missing bags of cocaine, and everyone thinks you’re dead but you’ve only collapsed on this dude and your vagina is in his face - that’s right, you’re a female bear - and you climb a tree going after the boy but then you rush to the other tree because the dude has cocaine and you bite off some of his fingers, and you have little baby cubs who are also wasted but cute and there’s a big standoff at a waterfall at night with the fucked up bear, the mother and her daughter and the boy and the stoned cubs, then this podcast is for you!

We couldn’t have a change of body, so we settled for a change of scenery in this episode. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss SECONDS and share their top ‘body change’ movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a middle-age banker with a wife and daughter and your life is mundane and without passion, and you get a phone call from an old friend who tells you to go to a laundry and the man there sends you to a meatpacking factory and you go into a room where a man explains how you will have a new appearance and a new life and your old self will die in a hotel fire while he eats chicken and then blackmails you, and this other old dude convinces you to sign, so you have the surgery and you are now a young hunk of a man and you become an artist and you move into a cool house in Malibu and your butler wants you to meet your neighbors and you hook up with a sexy woman who takes you to a weird-ass hippie party with lots of grapes and wine and you host a party and get drunk off your ass and nearly blow your cover, and you visit the woman who was your wife and you want to go back to the way you were and you meet the guy who got you into this big mess and things really spiral and become a major cluster fuck, then this podcast is for you!

Everyone warned us that this movie only takes place in one location. But when they said Brendan Fraser sits around the house, they really meant he sits around the house! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss THE WHALE and share their top fat movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be mega huge and morbidly enormous - I mean, we’re talking a gigantic slob of a man with rolls of fat - and you’re a writing teacher and you’re gay, and you left your wife to fuck a male student who died, and your daughter and ex-wife are uber-pissed, and your caregiver, who is also your best friend and your only friend, watches as you shove hunks of chicken and pizza into your mouth, and you Zoom with your writing students and tell them to be honest when they write but your camera is turned off, and your daughter shows up and she’s an angry bitch and she wants you to pay her to visit you and write her school essays, and a religious dude drops by who tries to get you to embrace God, and then your ex-wife shows up and she’s a piece of work, and you tell your bitchy and manipulative daughter to write anything as long as it’s honest and when you Zoom with your students you turn your camera on and show them your disgustingly fat body, and your daughter forces you to stand up and walk toward her and you die, then this podcast is for you!

The last time Robert and Ira climbed a mega-tower, Ira said, “This view is breathtaking!" Robert replied, "Yeah, and it would be even better if we weren't standing on the bottom rung of the ladder!” Join Robert and Ira as they discuss FALL and share their top stuck movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be rock climbing with your husband and he falls to his death, so you get drunk and lash out at your dad and you can’t move on with your life, but your girlfriend talks you into climbing a tall radio tower and you’re scared shitless but up you go, then at the top the rusty ladder gives way and you and your BFF are stuck up there with no cell reception because you’re up too high, so you lower your cell phone on a string but that doesn’t work, and you look down and see some punks steal your car, and you find out your BFF was fucking your sweetie and your leg is all fucked up and crows are trying to eat you, then your BFF lowers herself to reach for a drone but the battery is dead, so you climb up to the very top with its blinking red light, unscrew the bulb, and use that to charge the drone, and the small plane flies to get help but just before it lands, it gets hit by a truck, and it turns out you were hallucinating and your BFF is dead, and you eat a vulture, shimmy down to your dead BFF, stuff the cell phone into her carcass and toss her off the tower, then this podcast is for you!

This week’s movie really ‘bridges the gap’ between audiences and high critical acclaim! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss CAUSEWAY and share their top change of behavior movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a female soldier stationed in Afghanistan and you got fucked up in the head with mental issues and you go back to your small town and clean swimming pools and meet a black dude and you hang out together and smoke pot and he’s kinda into you and you tell him you’re gay and he asks if you’ll move in with him, but you want to get all better so you can go back to Afghanistan, and when you’re in a swimming pool and the black dude tells you a very personal story, you kiss him but only because you feel sorry for him, so he’s all pissed and then you decide not to go back to Afghanistan and you ask the dude if you could move in with him, then this podcast is for you!

This week’s episode comes at you hard, liked a runaway train… Join Robert and Ira as they discuss DEERWOODS DEATHTRAP and share their top train movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a parent and you’re recounting a story about how 50 years ago, you, your spouse, your four-year-old son, your infant daughter, and your elderly mother are driving a car over train tracks and your car gets stuck and a big ass locomotive is hurling toward you and your family and - boom! - the train slams into your car, and if listeners want to find out what happened to you and all the members of your family packed into the car, then they can either watch the 9-minute movie or listen to this podcast!

What kind of amateur tries to break into the porn industry and only stops at two dicks in the butt? Gotta go three, at least. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss PLEASURE and share their top ‘in-over-their-head’ movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a hot sexy blonde from Sweden who comes to Los Angeles to be a porn star, and you go to photo shoots and parties and try to be an A-list porn actress but get rejected and you do some BDSM hard-core shit and get slapped and spit on so you leave your manager and call your mom and walk along the beach, and you get fucked in the ass by a couple of black dudes, but when you wear a collar and a leash, you kinda throw your roommate under the bus and she tosses you out of the house, and you go to a major porn expo in Vegas and get humiliated because a hot brunette says your pussy smells so you grab a strap on dildo and fuck her, and then you tell the driver to stop the car and you get out, then this podcast is for you!