Anti-wave

This episode may seem like it’s a mess, but trust me, it’s all going accordion to plan. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss WEIRD: THE AL YANKOVIC STORY and share their top 5 weird movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a weird kid who likes to make up goofy lyrics to songs, but both of your parents think you’re freaking nuts, but mom buys you an accordion anyway, and you meet this DJ who becomes your manager and invites you to a pool party and all your heroes are there including Divine, Pee-wee Herman, and Tiny Tim, and your novelty song with your goofy lyrics gets played on the radio and Madonna hits on you so her songs will be more popular with your goofy lyrics but Michael Jackson takes your “original” song and does his own version of it, and you and Madonna go to some Third World country with lots of trees and meet with a drug lord, then you drink a lot, have a meltdown, turn on your bandmates, drink more, crash your car and almost die, and your dad explains his backstory, he grew up in an Amish community and also played the accordion and got ridiculed, so he didn’t want you to go through all that shit, and then you perform at a huge concert packed with cheering fans and the drug lord kills you, then this podcast is for you!

This week’s episode is perfect for a long road trip! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss WATCH OUT, WE’RE MAD! and share their top 5 comma titles.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be one of two brothers, and you were pissed at each other, but after 25 years you put aside your grudges and reunite to get back what you care about the most: your father’s beloved dune buggy which was stolen from you both many years ago, and you hang out in a circus and meet a mean fucker who slaps your face a lot and a hot brunette who throws knives at you, and you and your brother have a big fight, but you make up and become even closer, and there is a big fight in a swimming pool with a bunch of baddies, and just when you finally reclaim your father’s beloved dune buggy, the hot brunette steals it and drives it away, then this podcast is for you!

I haven’t seen this much presidential dick sucking since Bill Clinton added his signature chowder to Lewinsky’s dress. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss BLONDE and share their top 5 zaftig ladies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a really hot sexy blonde and your mom beats you and your daddy left you and you want to be an actress, and the Hollywood execs fuck you and you have a threesome and you make some movies and get super popular when you stand on a subway grate and the wind blows up and makes your white dress billow out, and you marry a popular baseball player and then you try again with a successful playwright who wrote “The Crucible” but that also doesn’t work out too well even though you call them both “daddy,” and you visit your mom in a mental institution and bathe her and you take lots of pills and shit and you suck the dick of the President of the United States and he rapes you and you decide to take even more pills to end it all, then his podcast is for you!

The last time Robert and Ira were hired to find a long-lost son in a foreign country, they ended up in Shanghai with a scorching case of herpes. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY and share their top 5 Matt Damon movies… again.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a dude who has the uncanny ability to impersonate people, not only with your looks which blend into others, but also with your mannerisms and voice which you use to mimic people, and when the father of a son who lives in Italy pays you $1000 to go there and bring his kid home, you go to Italy and assume the identity of the son’s former college buddy, and the handsome son and his hot girlfriend buy into it, and then when you’re on the water in a canoe with him, you pick up an oar and conk him over the head and kill him, but you don’t tell the hot girlfriend what you did, and you keep up the charade assuming the identities of the handsome son and others, and along the way you kill an obnoxious dude who was taunting you, and when the hot girlfriend suspects you killed her honey, she yells at you and hits you hard with her purse and then you strangle a dude and get away with it, then this podcast is for you!

Ironic that this week’s show is hosted by the two guys who don’t ever have a clue. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss CLUE and share their top 5 ‘whodunit’ movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be part of a group of zany eccentric people trapped in an old mansion greeted by a butler and a hot sexy maid with humongous breasts, and everyone is given names such as Colonel Mustard, Mrs. White, and Mr. Green, and you’re all being blackmailed and when the lights are switched off, one of you is killed and then another, and everyone is behaving over-the-top wacky as things get even more complicated and convoluted, and the butler figures it out and crazily runs around the mansion like a psycho rushing from room to room while you and everyone else rush around with him while he manically explains whodunit and why, not only once, not twice, but three fucking times, then this podcast is for you!

If you need dating advice, the cohosts of Anti-wave are available for training… for a fee. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss TRAINING WHEELS and share their top 5 date movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a chick who is kinda introverted and insecure and you’ve got a hot date in a few days, and so you hire a dude to date so you can practice how to not be weird, and you rehearse everything from small talk to having sex with him to prepare for the big night, and you discover things about yourself as he opens up and shares his own Insecurities and issues, and you both learn about yourselves from this experience and you have your big hot date which turns out to be a big dud and you realize you’re more comfortable being with your practice date, then this podcast is for you!

Take it from us, this episode 6000 SUX! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss ROBOCOP and share their top 5 cop movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a new cop on the beat in a futuristic and fucked up Detroit, and when you’re patrolling with your cute lady partner, you come across some major asshole thugs, and the main bad dude fires a shit load of bullets into you, and a corporation that supposedly wants to rid the city of crime and vermin, turns you into a robot and now you’re all metal and shit, and when you go to the house you used to live in with your wife and kid, you start to remember who you were, and with your cute lady partner you come across the gang that fucked you up, and the head asshole who riddled you with bullets says he’s in cahoots with the head honcho at that corporation and he falls into a vat of acid, and you go back to the corporation headquarters, but there’s a directive built into your operating system that won’t allow you to kill the evil corporate dude, so the other head corporate dude fires the bad guy, and you riddle him with bullets and he falls through the window and plummets to his death and you come to accept who you are, then this podcast is for you!

Back in the ‘80s, Ira fucked Jan-Michael Vincent in the butt just so he could say he was in-famous. Burn!!! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss ANDREW SCHULZ: INFAMOUS and share their top 5 sick burns (bro).  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be an obscure somewhat underground comedian who is also the funniest fuckin’ standup performer today, and you talk about everything including Trump, Michael Jackson, serial killer shows, the Middle East, black face, oral sex, anal sex, abortion, pussy, and cum, and you make fun of absolutely everyone, and you’re edgy and raw and you spew a shit load of profanity, and the audience howls at your jokes especially when it’s aimed at them, then this podcast is for you!

Truth be told, Robert and Ira both like their movies how they like their apples: hardcore. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss HARDCORE HENRY and share their top 5 POV shots.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to wake up and your wife says she loves you and explains you are now a half cyborg with mechanical limbs, no memory, you can’t talk, and you need your battery charged, and you dodge people who are trying to kill you by running up stairs, darting through back alleys, jumping on rooftops, and you find yourself in cars, tanks, submarines, helicopters, and in a brothel filled with hot whores, and the only person helping you dies and comes back to life looking different and then dies again and comes back to life looking different and so on, and then you see this dude as he really is, a cripple in a wheelchair, and the main bad dude can make things fly in the air, and the woman who says she’s your wife and loves you turns out to be the bad dude’s wife, and as she dangles from a helicopter, you slam the door on her hands and the lying bitch plunges to her death, then this podcast is for you!

If I had to dance with either of these jackasses for 60 days straight, I’d ask to have my brains blown out, too! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss THEY SHOOT HORSES, DON’T THEY? and share their top 5 dance movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a nice enough guy who’s kind of a nebbish who is in a dance marathon during the Depression in hopes of winning the $1500 cash prize, and you’re paired off with a free-thinking pistol of a gal, and some exhausted dancers are eliminated, and you sleep and shower in the back rooms of the dance hall, and you do the nasty with a blonde floozy and then your dance partner fools around with some dude and she doesn’t want to be partners with you anymore, but she can’t dance alone, so she dances with you anyway, and when the tired as fuck dancers must walk rapidly around the dance floor because the last three couples will be eliminated, one of the dancers has a heart attack and dies, and the slimy promoter who is also the emcee urges your dance partner to marry you for the publicity because even if she wins the marathon, he tells her she’ll have to pay a bunch of expenses, and she’s despondent as fuck and begs you to shoot her in the head, then this podcast is for you!