Anti-wave

Cheerio, mate! Ira’s nickname in high school was ‘The Joke Bloke’, so this week’s episode hits really hard for him. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss Ricky Gervais’ SUPERNATURE and share their top 5 funny blokes.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a British stand-up comic who is also an actor, writer, and an award show host, and you talk about how stupid we are with everything from supernatural nonsense to spoiling your cats, and you go on about trannies and shit, and some people love you for speaking the truth, and some people hate you and want you canceled, and you keep telling us you’re rich and tell us how nature itself is actually super, and then you talk more shit like when someone was cremated and the wind blew her ashes in your face and it tasted bitter, it must’ve been her clitoris, and you can’t help but laugh, not at the jokes but at how batshit crazy we humans are, then this podcast is for you!

I remember when Robert and Ira tried to homestead. They made it as far as the edge of town before Ira started trying to have sex with the farm animals and Robert resorted to cannibalism. Life on the range is a toughie, for sure. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss TERROR ON THE PRAIRIE and share their top 5 women with guns movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a frontier woman living in a cabin with your unemployed hubby, a son, and a crying baby, and when your hubby leaves to find work, a group of psychopathic killers with a ringleader who likes to quote Bible scriptures while scalping a sorry bastard comes to your home asking for water, and you offer to make them breakfast, and you spot the scalped head on the horse and pull out a rifle and order them to leave, but they’re majorly pissed and gunfire erupts and there’s a standoff and they slaughter the family cow, and when you set fire to the cabin to signal help, a friendly neighbor comes by and gets his throat slashed, and one of the sickos offers to help you escape, but you know it’s a set up so you shoot him, and you cut another bad guy’s face and escape with your two kids and cross the river and they get you but your son and baby escape, then your hubby shows up and they want him for revenge for something he did during the Civil War, and you agree to be gang raped if they spare your hubby and you kill the rapist, and when the ringleader is about to kill your hubby, you kill him, and with only one crazy-assed psychopathic killer left, your hubby shoots him, then this podcast is for you!

What is a woman? Dunno, but I found myself asking that same question after I picked up a prostitute and took her home, only to discover that she had a dick that was bigger than mine. I mean, she looked like a chick from the waist up… Join Robert and Ira as they discuss WHAT IS A WOMAN? and share their top 5 movie questions.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be guy who wants to know “What is a woman?” and you go all around the world to 50 countries and ask 2,000 people, as well as supposed gender experts, including therapists, psychiatrists, and professors - many of them trannies or just plain weird - and you even go to Africa where the natives can’t help but laugh at what they feel is a stupid ass question, and you share your concerns about trannies who’ve transitioned from female to male and compete against real women and win a shit load of sports trophies, and minors who take hormone enhancement and suppression drugs to alter their sex, and you explore the notion that if you FEEL you’re a woman ... then you ARE a woman, and offer why gender confusion is happening with reasons from Kinsey to social media, and you finally go home and ask your wife “What is a woman?” and she gives a simple yet accurate answer as she hands you a pickle jar and asks you to open it, then this podcast is for you!

As George Carlin once said, “Always do whatever's next.” And what’s next for you is this week’s podcast. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss GEORGE CARLIN’S AMERICAN DREAM and share their top 5 “things you can’t say” in movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a stand-up comic and your parents were both majorly fucked up, and you’ve got short hair, a button down shirt, and a narrow tie, and you appear on talent shows and sing, and then you change as the world changes, and you wear casual pull-over shirts, jeans, and your hair is long and in a ponytail, and you talk about things like religion, the state of the world, and goofy words, and you are the first host of Saturday Night Live, and you and your soulmate wife take a shit load of drugs and she dies, and you try to stay relevant but you get angry and start to look really old, have a couple of heart attacks and die, then this podcast is for you!

Want absolute 100% definitive proof that the election was stolen? Vermin Supreme didn’t win. We’d be riding our free pony with our clean teeth, basking in the glow of never knowing anything about Hitler, but nooooooo. The establishment just wants to keep you tied down, man… Join Robert and Ira as they discuss 2000 MULES and share their top 5 animal titles.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be The Statue of Liberty, that’s right Lady Liberty herself, and you’re standing in a New York harbor with a tablet in one hand and a torch in the other, and you’re a symbol for not only liberty, but freedom and democracy, and you have a tear streaming down your green face because you know the best way to guarantee these precious values is through free and open and accurate and transparent elections, but you got wind of perhaps a concerted effort to bastardize the last presidential election as you hear stories about mules who stuff illegal ballots into the drop-offs in various cities where the race can go either way, and you see how these people are tracked with their cell phones showing how they go to numerous voting places, and you see actual video footage showing these people doing unscrupulous things, but although the evidence is quite compelling, you’re not totally convinced there’s a true concerted effort to fuck with democracy, yet as long as you’re open to the possibility and just need some answers and you want to know more, then this podcast is for you!

Stealing the Declaration of Independence. Stealing a plane filled with convicts. Stealing another man’s face. Stealing… our hearts. Seems like Nic Cage is always stealing something. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT and share their top 5 Nicolas Cage movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be Nicolas Cage and you’re now a washed up actor, and there’s tension with your ex-wife, and your daughter is pissed because you tell her what movies to watch, and your agent days you’re running out of money and you need to do something, and for $1 million, you agree to attend a wealthy fan’s birthday party at an olive estate and the owner is thrilled to have you stay at his beautiful mansion, but a couple of CIA operatives aren’t too pleased you’re there and they ask you to help bust this man because they say he’s an international criminal with a kidnapped girl, but you don’t believe it because the guy is so nice and he even has a shrine with mementos of all your movies, and he even flies in your wife and daughter so the three of you can patch things up, but now it turns out it’s the guy’s cousin who is the international criminal with a kidnapped girl, and the two of you team up and go after the cousin and his henchmen with car chases and bullets flying, then this podcast is for you!

In this episode, Ira and Robert show you just why they make such a fantastic duo. They’ll take you to their pair-ellel universe. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE and share their top 5 parallel universe movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a woman with a sweet but passive husband, a gay daughter, and a father, and you run a laundromat but you are in deep shit with your taxes and you meet with an IRS auditor whose arm is wrapped in a bandage and she’s a total whack job, and your hubby is suddenly taken over by another person from a different reality, and you suddenly pop into different universes of what your life would have been like if you had made different choices, and you must connect with versions of yourself from parallel realities to prevent their destruction by a powerful evil entity, and your daughter is taken over by another person and she lashes out at you and goes bat shit crazy, and you and your daughter become rocks and you’re overlooking a precipice and talk about the meaning of life, and there is a big bagel, hotdog fingers, and a raccoon, and you and your daughter fight and come to an understanding about love and family, then this podcast is for you!

What’s the ASL sign for ‘two douchebags with a microphone?’ Join Robert and Ira as they discuss CODA and share their top 5 French film remakes.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be the daughter of deaf parents, and you’re kind of awkward and shit, and you join the high school choir and get paired up with a cute boy to perform a duet at the school recital, and the cute dude comes to visit your family and it doesn’t go very well and when the dude makes a teasing comment at school, you get really pissed, but he pursues you and you make him jump off a cliff and you two kiss, and the choir teacher gets pissed at you for always being late and then pushes you to pursue singing at college and your deaf parents aren’t too supportive, but at the big recital your family is there and you sing the duet, and your family pushes you to go to the audition at the college, but you’re late and your parents sneak into the auditorium balcony, and your choir teacher shows up late and plays the piano as you sing and sign, and then you leave your family and your cute boyfriend and head off to college, then this podcast is for you!

What’d you say about my woman’s hair??? Join Robert and Ira as they discuss THE OSCARS and share their top 5 Oscar host wishlist. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a big Hollywood superstar and you’ve been nominated for an Oscar for best actor, and the word on the street is you’ve got a really good shot at winning, and so you’re at the Academy Awards and it’s two hours into the long dull show and you’re still patiently waiting for your category, but moments before they get to you, a top comedian goes on stage and takes jabs at the Hollywood elite in the audience, and then this comedian makes fun of your hot wife and says something about her bald head, and so you leave your seat, walk up to the comedian and bitch slap his face, hard, and you walk back to your seat yelling out to the comedian to not make insulting comments about your bald wife, then this podcast is for you!

When Ira and Robert first met, they swapped tall tales. Turns out that was just their nickname for ‘nude foot pics.’ Join Robert and Ira as they discuss SONG OF THE SOUTH and share their top 5 ‘Back Then it Wasn’t Racist’ movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be moving into your grandmother’s plantation in the South with your parents and when you realize your pop is leaving, you run away from home and meet a kind old black man who tells you stories of Br’er Rabbit, Br’er Fox, and Br’er Bear and these cartoon animals come to life while the kind old black man sings a catchy ditty, and you become friends with a black boy and a white girl who gives you a puppy, and the kind old black man continues on with another story of Br’er Rabbit but because you’ve been missing, your mom tells the kind old black man to not spend any more time with you, and so he leaves and you run after him but a bull attacks you and you’re pretty fucked up on your deathbed but your pop has come back and then the kind old black man shows up and you’re all better and you and all your friends go skipping off into the sunset, then this podcast is for you!