Episode 80 Aftershow

Sometimes, all you want to do is scald a hippie with hot coffee and laugh maniacally, but you can't because of "society" and "laws" and "the need to model good behavior for your child."

We talk about that and other injustices on this week's aftershow. Like Dave narrowly missing seeing a date gone dramatically wrong, or how late Ian made him stay up to record this show.

Episode 80-Candy from afar! Thanks Jake!

We all greet everything with which we interact a level of tolerance and patience. And on this week's show, we're all over the map. Dave is barely tolerating to Ian's lack of focus, Ian has no patience for Porsche wheels on a Volkswagen, and don't even TRY to put a Shins CD in a Lincoln Town Car.

But we feel other things too! Dave pities F1 fans, we're excited about free candy, and everyone's grateful not to have a terminal case of Hootie And The Blowfish.

Episode 79a-No, no....no.

As terrible as both our memories are, we finally figured out it's entirely possible we hate each other. Yes, the hosts of what is basically "Dave and Ian Are Friends: The Show" may just routinely forget the ways in which they hate each other.

Our friendship is a lie, basically.

But here are some things that aren't lies: Dave gets sleepy faster than any other human, there's a very simple and obvious reason we're not higher in the iTunes rankings, and Spoon is basically the Volkswagen Phaeton of music.

Episode 79

If you regularly wave your finger in the air and prepend your hot knowledge with "well, ACTUALLY," you're either Ian's toddler or a car enthusiast on the Internet. And either way, you'll likely find plenty to object to in this week's episode.

Hacking autonomous cars with salt, Ferrari trim levels and the intricacies of an Infiniti steering rack could all get us in trouble with the pedantic among us. But what's not up for debate is that some people overshare with their license plates.

Oh, and that plants are evil. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go die of seasonal allergies.

Episode 78-Near Miss

Whether you're living in the city, driving in the mountains, or trying to troubleshoot some irritating audio problems, there are going to be some near-misses.

And near-misses are familiar to the makers of the Dodge Caliber SRT4, the Ferrari marketing department, and the gentleman who vomited just outside his car.

Episode 77a-Deep state.

Despite being set in the decidedly pointless TeamClearCoat after-show, this week's conversation has an actual point.

We discuss why process is sometimes the most important thing. Whether it's why you've decided to go rogue and join the deep state, how you've arrived at a great piece of art, or just what you do before sitting on your couch, process drives everything.

Oh, and Ian recommends a band he can't pronounce.

Episode 77-It means teeth. Yeah. That's for later in the show.

It's all about happy places this time around on TeamClearCoat.

It turns out the Prius forums are the happiest places on the Internet, the Focus RS is our happy place, and being more stubborn than a thing is hard will make even a bystander happy.

Episode 76-There's no other way to explain that thing.

Once in a while, when you just start talking without preparing beforehand, hard-and-fast truths come tumbling out.

And so it is with this week's episode; with no preparation whatsoever, we determined that karting is actually a valid mental health treatment, that the 2011 Saab 9-5 is still stunning, and that the Plymouth Prowler is the Human Centipede of cars.

Also, Ian rants about Baby Boomers. They can't all be winners, folks.

Episode 75a-And Dave's were asking the whereabouts of taffy.

Should you ask the TeamClearCoat idiots to play musical instruments? Just when did Ian develop his trademark sigh? And should we be worried about Richard Simmons? All of this plus some music talk in this week's after-show.

Episode 75-FMKIRL

After more than a year of doing the show, we've accumulated a whole stack of ignored, discarded or otherwise forgotten about ideas. And since we're now Legitimate Automotive Journalists, we're allowed to dive into our drafts folder and discover cars of the 90s, take very long tangents on multiverse theory, and reiterate Dave's old-man-ness.