Apex Adjacent

Episode 86-And Fun. And Friendship. But Not Furries.

The secret to all great car-based entertainment is that they're really all about relationships. They all lure you in with talk of camshafts and oversteer, but they're really talking about feelings. It's subtext.

But not with us! Take this week's episode - we spend a lot of time talking about each other and manage to sprinkle in a little talk about Formula One, the importance of ambition in luxury cars, and Dave's nascent racing career.

It's feelings for car enthusiasts, plus some fart jokes!

Episode 85-Maybe leave the windows down for a bit.

In a decision that can only be described as "ill-advised," your humble cohosts were granted press credentials for the 2017 Denver Auto Show.

So in this episode, we provide a decidedly TeamClearCoat take on the auto show experience: we talk about the language of automakers, GM's Maven project, and of course we made it about Lincoln.

Also, we farted in most of the cars.

Episode 84-Vrooooom!

TeamClearCoat is capable of delivering surprises from time to time. Today, we're surprising everyone with a new website, which contains a few easter eggs.

Other surprises include how well Dave's car takes that one corner at High Plains Raceway, and that we have to wrap this up due to Legitimate Automotive Journalism Pursuits.

Totally not surprising is that the Trump administration is crippling the EPA, Ian ran himself nearly out of gas at the track, and oh man we REALLY need to wrap this up. We love you, thank you, sorry!

Episode 83-Pop pop fizz fizz

Oh what a relief it is. To finally get out of this car. Ian LOVED it. Dave felt like he got beat with a thousand tennis racquets.

But after love and beatings, we still think about this car. It's still in our mind, and it makes us want to drive a VW Golf R more than ever.

Episode 82-Alex Davies Is Awesome Edition

Alex Davies, Transportation Editor for Wired joins us in the blanket fort this week. We talk about Congress and other unproductive boondoggles like the construction zone problem, the Uber vs Google fight, and of course, old Saabs.

We may not have arrived at any answers in this discussion, but we think we may have stumbled on the right questions.

Be sure to read EVERYTHING Alex writes for WIRED!!!

Episode 81-And he's suddenly inspired to yell at the youths to get off of his lawn.

One night in the recent past, Dave volunteered to take Ian to a Craigslist transaction (read: his own murder). When he showed up, Ian was ordered into the driver's seat and we started recording.

Driving around Denver, a few things were confirmed: Ian will begin all new endeavors with a list of complaints, protein shakes are basically just farts in a can, and Dave already came up with the perfect metaphor for his car (it's Ricky Gervais). But we also learned a few new things: snow tires on dry pavement make it really hard to evaluate a new car, the turning radius of an Infiniti M45 is crazy good amazing, and bank fraud protections are sometimes a pain.

Episode 80 Aftershow

Sometimes, all you want to do is scald a hippie with hot coffee and laugh maniacally, but you can't because of "society" and "laws" and "the need to model good behavior for your child."

We talk about that and other injustices on this week's aftershow. Like Dave narrowly missing seeing a date gone dramatically wrong, or how late Ian made him stay up to record this show.

Episode 80-Candy from afar! Thanks Jake!

We all greet everything with which we interact a level of tolerance and patience. And on this week's show, we're all over the map. Dave is barely tolerating to Ian's lack of focus, Ian has no patience for Porsche wheels on a Volkswagen, and don't even TRY to put a Shins CD in a Lincoln Town Car.

But we feel other things too! Dave pities F1 fans, we're excited about free candy, and everyone's grateful not to have a terminal case of Hootie And The Blowfish.

Episode 79a-No, no....no.

As terrible as both our memories are, we finally figured out it's entirely possible we hate each other. Yes, the hosts of what is basically "Dave and Ian Are Friends: The Show" may just routinely forget the ways in which they hate each other.

Our friendship is a lie, basically.

But here are some things that aren't lies: Dave gets sleepy faster than any other human, there's a very simple and obvious reason we're not higher in the iTunes rankings, and Spoon is basically the Volkswagen Phaeton of music.

Episode 79

If you regularly wave your finger in the air and prepend your hot knowledge with "well, ACTUALLY," you're either Ian's toddler or a car enthusiast on the Internet. And either way, you'll likely find plenty to object to in this week's episode.

Hacking autonomous cars with salt, Ferrari trim levels and the intricacies of an Infiniti steering rack could all get us in trouble with the pedantic among us. But what's not up for debate is that some people overshare with their license plates.

Oh, and that plants are evil. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go die of seasonal allergies.