Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank

Joe List came over to tell me about his years working theft prevention at a Sears outside Boston. These are great stories about being exactly my enemy at one of my passions, shoplifting. 

Put this podcast down and go right now to watch Joe's new standup special, "I Hate Myself" on YouTube now. 

And check out his podcasts, "Tuesdays With Stories" and "Mindful Metal Jacket"

This episode is brought to you by Kushy Dreams. Go to KushyDreams.com and enter promo code "Ari" to get 15% off your first order. It was their life's mission to sponsor a podcast where a comic talks about ways around paying for things from stores that went out of business due to too much loss from shoplifting. I've done right by my guidance counselor, Mrs Rabinowitz. She said she believed in me despite what my efforts showed and now she's right. RIP. 

Boston is home to the Super Beef Threeway.

I took too many whatevers and went on a deep dive into the way music is a response to social events and drug use. It's a solecast originally on my patreon. Join, if you want, at patreon.com/arishaffir

This episode is proudly brought to you by YoKratom.com. Yo Kratom: The home of the $60 Kilo. 

The Music

Betty Blowtorch - Big Hair, Broken Heart

LCD Soundsystem - Losing My Edge

Peter Frampton - Do You Feel (Like I Do)

New Order - Blue Monday

Justin Silver, heralded dog trainer from the @TheLanguageOfDogs instagram page and the book by the same title, comes in to tell me how he got started training dogs, the methods he uses to get dogs listening, and how he's probably going to vote for me for president of Legion of Skanks. 

He explains all this stuff so clearly. As a dog owner, this one was really really helpful in addition to being funny as heck (sorry for the cuss).

Make sure to check out Justin's page @TheLanguageOfDogs for tons of helpful video tips you can use on your own pup.

The Music

Big Mama Thornton - Hound Dog

Jerry Reed - Bandit

Band on the Run - Band on the Run

Geggy Tah - Gina

Nick Cannon - Stand Up For What

Nick Cody joined me from Melbourne, Australia to tell me about his epic trip he took across America at 19 years old. Went from Portland to NY by train to save like $90. Idiot. But also very cool. The entire trip was just so he could go see the O&A show where Bill Burr would end up doing his Philly rant that I always refer to as "7 more minutes" and that still makes me laugh. Nick was in the audience for that amazing comic/crowd fight and I'm so jealous of that and this whole trip.

Listen to Nick's podcast, "Mid-flight Brawl" on Apple podcasts or anywhere else (this link is just for Apple I guess)

Follow Us on Instagram

@TheNickCody

@AriShaffir

The Music

Sister Rosetta Tharpe - This Train (great song that made me cry)

The O'Jays - Love Train

Soul Asylum - Runaway Train

Bill Burr - Philly Rant (still made me laugh 15 years later)

Carmen Lynch was a scoliosis nerdburger in hight school. She wore a back brace and couldn't make friends. She came on the podcast this week to tell me about it. How she dealt with having scoliosis at such an important age and how it's helped shape who she's become now. Get it? Shape? Anyway, she's a very well respected comic in NY. Ask any comedian in the city about her and they'll tell you she's really funny. Her new album, Vertically Challenged is available today!

Purchase Vertically Obese to help support Carmen Lynch and keep her doing what she should be doing, telling jokes to drunk fools.

https://music.apple.com/us/album/vertically-obese/1518498893

Follow Carmen on Instagram!

Follow me on Instagram!

Join my Patreon for bonus episodes, a forum for the podcast, and to help support me through my bi-yearly cancellations.

The Music

HiM - Scoliosis

The Dickies - She's a Hunchback

8 Ball & MJG [feat. The Notorious B.I.G. & Project Pat] - Relax and Take Notes

Tito Lopez - The Blues

Corrine Fisher and Joe Derosa came to the studio to talk about the awesome and unique state NYC boozers find themselves in. It's summertime and none of the bars allow indoor seating. So many of them have gone to window service. You can get cocktails, beers, wine, and frozen drinks TO GO! It has turned the entire city into a giant street fair. It's amazing and people are really turning into their alcoholic butterflies.

Big Jay Oakerson came to the studio to talk to me about Cops. His favorite show in the history of television just got BLMed so he's in a bit of a state of mourning. And when I say favorite, I mean of the 150 times I've stopped by his apartment, he's been watching Cops 80 of those times. I honestly don't know what else he does with his time.

Big Jay is a hilarious comic. Check out his instagram and twitter at @BigJayOakerson and all his tour dates at Bigjaycomedy.com

The Music

A$AP Rocky - Dreams

Inner Circle - Bad Boys

KRS One - Sound of the Police

The Strokes - NY City Cops

Andrew Santino met me for the last podcast in my quarantine to talk about the wet brown devil, whisky. Bourbon, Scotch, Rye, you know what I'm talking about. It's my favorite alcohol. For when I want to smoke cigars, for when I want to be surly, for when I want to relax, for when I'm drinking.

Andrew is a hilarious comic and you should DEFINITELY go see him if he's in your town. But since that looks like it might never happen again, watch his show "Dave" on FX. It's as funny as you can get for not being standup.

If you want to order the shroomfest shirt, you have till Thursday to get it in time for the holiday. Wear it with pride. https://podcastmerch.com/products/shroomfest-2020-presale-shirt?utm_source=shortlink&utm_lkey=i7h0e

The Music

Willie Nelson - Whisky River

Chris Stapleton - Tennessee Whisky

Flamin Groovies - Whisky Woman

The Dubliners - Whiskey In The Jar

Muddy Waters - Whisky You Ain't No Good

Sam Morril hung out with me in my backyard to tell me what he's been missing lately. He's so damn funny. Please everybody watch his new special, "I Got This" on YouTube now. I guarantee he'll be a household name to anybody who like standup at all in the next two years. He's too funny not to be known. And we just talked about stuff he's been missing. A lot of it made me realize that I miss the same thing.

Watch Sam's Special here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Xo3Fq7GGWk&t=334s

1) Sports

2) Movies

3) Comedy

4) Social Anxiety

5) Smell of Pizza

The Music

Lou Monte - Pizza Boy USA

Lil Bow Wow - Basketball

The Drifters - Saturday Night At The Movies

Chris Rock - How Not To Get Your Ass Kicked By The Cops

This episode is brought to you by Patreon. Join my Patreon to get an extra episode every week (pretty much but also sometimes you get two episodes so whatever, it works out for you. Lately I've been doing these travel stories that go along with a picture I took from my travels but then I also do mailbag episodes) at http://www.patreon.com/SkepticTank

Garron Kertnen Chiu met me at a Hong Kong comedy club to tell me about the protests for autonomy that have been going on there over the past year or so. All the important details, like how do you get tear gas out of your eyes, protesting on shrooms, and much more! It's a real Skeptic Tank classic. And this episode almost definitely inspired similar protests all over America. Am I a hero? Yes.