As Per My Last Podcast

In this episode:

• Dresden was bombed to dust, rebuilt, and still looks better than any U.S. city built on purpose.

• Currywurst: Germany’s version of late-night pizza, but with swords involved.

• Donair guys slicing meat like samurai chefs—10/10 would let them duel for my sandwich.

• Germany: Home of sausages, potatoes, and zero water consumption. Hydration is for cowards.

• Do Germans ever poop? Medical mystery of the century.

• American trains: show up when they feel like it. Maybe.

• Florida’s high-speed rail: powered by human sacrifice.

• Espresso everywhere. Filter coffee is an endangered species.

• Boeing whistleblowers mysteriously unalived—totally normal, nothing to see here.

  #aspermylastpodcast #funny #europeantravel

Eric returns from Germany, where the national pastime is staring silently until you emotionally unravel.

Sick days: apparently it’s socially acceptable to work yourself into a dirt nap, but God forbid you take a Tuesday off.

Doctor’s notes: one coworker forged one to go golfing — HIPAA breach? Maybe. Icon? Absolutely.

Greg and Eric ricochet the following thoughts:

B-actors from anti-harassment training are weird to see in other stuff.

AI is not to blame for youth unemployment because Japan and Europe aint having that problem.

AI voices for 800 #’s still have heavy Indian accents for some reason…

Pumpkin tastes like nothing, like the vegetable itself.

Gen X and older drank a domestic beer and that was it…for life. A simpler time.

Appropriately for our 21st episode, we talk beer in all it’s wonderful varieties and price points.

Turns out Eric and Greg will do pretty much whatever for a free t-shirt.

18th Episode summary

00:00 – 01:00 | “We have six subscribers and possibly one fan — me.”
Celebrating 20 episodes and redefining success in units of pure delusion.

01:00 – 02:00 | The Rowboat of Corporate Misery
Corporate life = one big, leaky boat. Everyone’s on board, and nobody’s steering.

02:00 – 05:00 | Review Season: The Annual Gaslighting
HR emails roll in: “Take this e-learning on how to fill out your own disappointment.”

05:00 – 08:00 | “Exceeds Expectations” — The Unicorn Rating
To get a 5% raise, you must donate blood to the CEO’s mother.

08:00 – 12:00 | Copy, Paste, Collect Your ‘Meets Expectations’
Greg admits he’s been recycling last year’s self-review for three years. Nobody noticed.

12:00 – 15:00 | Promotions for People Who ‘Seem Fun’
Raise logic: Work hard → ignored. Golf → promoted.

15:00 – 20:00 | The Office, The Paper & The Power of Having No Opinion
At work, having opinions is a liability. Best to say: “What do you think?” until retirement.

20:00 – 28:00 | Journalism, Yelp, and the Michelin Tire Man
Journalists are broke, Yelp is dying, and the world’s most feared food critic is literally a tire.

28:00 – 32:00 | How Cable Companies Buried Themselves in Wires
Two tech geniuses wonder why no one thought to use customer data… while not getting paid for their own ideas.

32:00 – 33:00 | Collaboration, Think Tanks, and D’s Nuts
A heartfelt ending about teamwork, innovation, and starting a nut stand. Because capitalism.

Greg and Eric get funky with:

Why does everybody say "welcome aboard" when you do intros at a new job

Most jobs are not " living the dream" or "another day in paradise"

Greg has a bad healthcare experience

Both of us have four letter names constantly mispronounced and spelled

We talk Buffalo Bills Hard Knocks and what it'd be like if they did an office version

We talk executives making big choices with coin flips

We offer Canadian real estate advice

We also offer reasons to love your terrible job

Greg and Eric wax poetic on:

-All the bad "did you labor on labor day jokes"

-Work humor vs actual funny shit

-Howard Stern hanging up the microphone after becoming what he used to rail against as a penthouse living millionaire

-Customer's that don't take no for an answer

-Talk about how "pointless" jobs are often not pointless for the ones doing them

-Often people that succeed do so from political prowess rather than any excellence or actual value to the company.

-We admit to membership in the lollipop guild and an undying affinity for the socks on the dead wicked witch of the west.

As Per My Last Podcast Season 1 Episode 15 - "Have you tried smacking them across the face?"

Greg and Eric rev the old six cylinders on:

Gen Z and their incessant awkwardness, and need for parenting from their bosses.

Greg gets very sick on a boat

Eric tells stories about ninth grade ruler-based child abuse

Eric waxes poetic about his love for the local news

We both rail the daylights out of the idiotic Cracker Barrel and Eddie Bauer rebrands. God save us if this is what marketing becomes.

Greg and Eric talk turkey on the following:

Greg Movie Review Corner where Greg Reviews the following:

Fantastic Four (Fantastic!)

Jurassic World Rebirth - (Not as fantastic...)

Happy Gilmore 2 - (Fan friendly if not fantastic)

Discuss the Virgil Abloh Theory of Power - The screen size has an inverse relationship with the power of the user (smaller the screen the more powerful you are)

Gary Stevenson's Theory about all money being debt

The Magnificent 7 tech companies start cannibalizing

Greg and Eric go long on the following:

Robocop died but still managed to get back to work

He also never got to take advantage of unlimited PTO

Broken Chair Theory = you don't know when someone's chair just broke beneath them on a call and are stifling the overwhelming frustration and anger to stay normal sounding.

AI seems to take over fun stuff but Microsoft thinks it's unlikely to takeover stuff we want robots to do like crazy dangerous environmental stuff or super tedious physical jobs.

As Per My Last Podcast Season 1 Episode 12

Greg and Eric talk about:

Work Life Balance report - New Zealand # 1, Ireland 2, Canada 7, USA - hahaha.

Working the system by going to the school nurse to ahver her say "take a tums and walk it off." 

Human battery doesn't seem to be recharging over the weekend above 65% 

Applying for jobs feeling like chutes and ladders with no ladders. 

Not setting expectations and meeting them makes Eric feel like a bad person

Land Rover taking 85 years to get fixed and him telling me it will be done every 3 days. 

Battling the urge to see Dr. Google instead of your real doctor 

Fuck ‘em all Fridays instead of Fun Fridays.  

Hermetic weekends because who has the energy to do anythign any more?