that happened to them  but in the u.s. now it will happen if you are fat 

i know it sounds ridiculous  but i think i am striking a chord 

all of the time that i spent with her was in a short period of time after my mother died.  i have a few memories from then.   

my aunt beckys family, it looks like they gave their children a lot of spending money.   that is what i am saying. 

katie was always hiding off somewhere  but she would call to talk to my grandmother alot i think to ask for money.  i  wouldnt be surprised if  katie was secretly in touch with my father or whatever.  

if you want to know something else about my aunt becky, shortly after i went to go live with them. i would just use whatever brushes were lying around. i remember my aunt one day came to tell me that i couldnt use their brushes anymore and that i had to use my own brush. honestly, after stuff like that happened, it is kind of a blur what happened after that 

i remember before my mom died,  we had a visit from roslyn and raymond, and probably their mother katie, we had a visit from my aunt becky  and uncle john and their children, and then some time after that my mother died.  i do not know why all of those people visited all of a sudden. the only thing i can think is it is because i asked my mom if i could visit with my cousins.   i am concerned if when they visited  maybe something happened.   like my father was secretly in touch with katie or any of those people or something.  

to me it seems like katie learned how to game the system  , whatever that means. but i think it is also suspect that her daughter zoey wound up dating a man in the porn industry. and that her daughter reached out to ask me if i wanted to buy drugs  a few months after my mother passed away

i was in elementary school.  i am not sure but i think she knew that i had never bought drugs before.  

and when i got the drugs i handed them to my two friends that gave me money for it, but i didnt use it myself. 

i remember around the same time, one time i spent time with susan, and she had a lot of money that she would use for herself. one time i was with her and she went to get some take out from a restaurant around the corner.  i didnt have any money so i didnt buy anything. but it was tex mex. or sometimes it was a drink. this was something i saw shortly after i moved over there.  when you are that young you dont realize what is going on. but i remember going with her down the street to pick something up and sitting with her after she spent her own money to buy something. i didnt have any money. at the time i didnt really think much about it. it just seemed kind of like normal hanging out stuff. but looking back on it, i didnt have money like that.  

i remember i met alyssa when i went to live with my aunt right after my mom died.  then i left and went to live with my grandfather. then somehow it was arranged that i would go live with alyssa and her family.  sounds great and everything but  it wasnt. shortly after i moved in with them,  i discovered that shannon was a screamer.  then alyssa was stealing. and shortly after i moved in , someone took some donuts that shannon bought. and shannon decided that i was the one who took the donuts and came over to scream at me about it.  and i remember strongly telling her that i did not do it.  and after those things happened i think i was not sure what to do. but i wound up staying there until i graduated from high school. and i remember as soon as i got a car the senior year i left and kind of remember not really worrying about telling them anything. i just kind of left.