to me it seems like katie learned how to game the system  , whatever that means. but i think it is also suspect that her daughter zoey wound up dating a man in the porn industry. and that her daughter reached out to ask me if i wanted to buy drugs  a few months after my mother passed away

i was in elementary school.  i am not sure but i think she knew that i had never bought drugs before.  

and when i got the drugs i handed them to my two friends that gave me money for it, but i didnt use it myself. 

i remember around the same time, one time i spent time with susan, and she had a lot of money that she would use for herself. one time i was with her and she went to get some take out from a restaurant around the corner.  i didnt have any money so i didnt buy anything. but it was tex mex. or sometimes it was a drink. this was something i saw shortly after i moved over there.  when you are that young you dont realize what is going on. but i remember going with her down the street to pick something up and sitting with her after she spent her own money to buy something. i didnt have any money. at the time i didnt really think much about it. it just seemed kind of like normal hanging out stuff. but looking back on it, i didnt have money like that.  

i remember i met alyssa when i went to live with my aunt right after my mom died.  then i left and went to live with my grandfather. then somehow it was arranged that i would go live with alyssa and her family.  sounds great and everything but  it wasnt. shortly after i moved in with them,  i discovered that shannon was a screamer.  then alyssa was stealing. and shortly after i moved in , someone took some donuts that shannon bought. and shannon decided that i was the one who took the donuts and came over to scream at me about it.  and i remember strongly telling her that i did not do it.  and after those things happened i think i was not sure what to do. but i wound up staying there until i graduated from high school. and i remember as soon as i got a car the senior year i left and kind of remember not really worrying about telling them anything. i just kind of left.

before i lost my mother, i had more things. i remember one time i bought a shirt that was pretty sweet.  i had just moved in to the childs house. and for some reason i put the shirt in a box to keep and i put it at the top of my closet. i didnt plan to wear it for some reason.  and some time went by and i decided to look through the box and i found the shirt was missing.  but i found the shirt in alyssas belongings.  so she went in to the room i had and went through the box and took the shirt.  that was shortly after i moved in.   

i remember one time shortly after i moved over to the aunts or the childs, i was hanging out with susan one of the rare times. i was with her , a guy that we went to school with, and it was me. and i remember we were walking down the street together, and we were talking about something but during that conversation she  was telling me  that she and the other guy make me look good. as in i look better by walking down the street with them. she said something like "we make you look good"   i am just telling you that to explain her mindset a little    she was nice but she was also kind of like that too 

she thought she and the other guy were so good looking that by their walking down the street with me, that they made me look better.

if your children become orphans, they may be just kind of like a sack of meat to other people for awhile

i personally was very bored in school and became truant actually after my mother died.  before she died i was like always trying to get a's in school watching my report card

i dont think the childs had all that many clothes but i am saying like, i had like two t shirts and like people noticed that i wore the same shirt all the time. i probably had more than 2 t shirts. its an exaggeration a little bit. but they did notice i wore the same shirts and they didnt say it was too often but they kind of said it. 

that may be partly why i think it is better to give people the option to enter the workforce at 15 and 16,  so if you are in that situation you can move on 

it is true on top of that they did not make sure to give me enough clothes. when i lived with the childs they had a lot more clothes than i did.