Ashley Kelsch

Today I interview my daughter, Faith. She is 15 going on 16, and has been learning to live with depression and anxiety. She shares with us what it's like to have the tendency to cut, how she and her friends don't feel like they have anyone they can talk to about it and also the stress she places on herself to succeed. 

On the flip side, I share with you what it's been like for me as a parent- one who was in denial and one who *still doesn't always have the answers. 

 

 

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 Today I talk about my Usual Suspects-  The things our brains go after to avoiding feeling, say, sad bored or lonely- because that may be like death and the safer, better options would be; have a drink, check social media for likes, go buy something- eat deliciousness.. any outside experience that will reward us with dopamine and remove us from our river of suck.

 

www.ashleymkelsch.com

 

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This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

Since I started studying and practicing awareness around my thoughts and mental fitness in general, I’ve learned quite a bit about my thinking and the direction my thoughts tend to go. I thought a skill that I could start to use and apply was one in which I would allow me to practice reframing how I see my past (memories, after all are just thoughts we hold about events in our past) and how I’ve viewed some of the people I was involved with 

This practice, in particular, is not about reframing the events to tell me a better story, but instead, looking back at the people involved and only seeing the good that happened with them. I spoke of this on my podcast last week with Laurel and when I brought it up, I truly believed that the benefit of this work was simple: it would take my mind off the negative- that I would no longer think poorly of the people in my past or carry the burden of what I thought were negative experiences. Truth be told, I’m finding that I’m carrying these stories about my past with me like a large tote- loaded with bricks - I thought if I could start remembering all the good positive times, the reasons I was originally drawn to these people that I could fill my large tote full of fluff, love and sparkles - you know, of all our good times. 

Practicing this work opened a hidden door and behind it, a side of the story that I never knew existed … Their side. By entering, I was able to go deeper into who I was.- Spoiler Alert: turns out I have no-one to blame but myself for my failed relationships. 

 

 

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SHOW NOTES:

 You’re wondering what Dressing Room confessions is all about? here’s a bit of the skinny- for the last 10 years I’ve owned and operated a women’s bra fitting / lingerie store called, Teddies for Bettys, in Austin Tx. It will come as no surprise to you that i’ve spent most of the 10 years - you guessed it, in the dressing rooms. with women. listening to them reveal their most intimate secrets about their lives; from parenting, relationships, losses, sexual experiences, health concerns, drug and alcohol use, body image perceptions - you name it and how they’ve navigated their way through all of it. 

I learned quickly that what was being revealed to me, wasn’t even being revealed to the people closest to them; be it out of embarrassment, shame, or fear of being judged and rejected… 

Imagine the sense of relief when you realize you are not alone in your experiences. The relief of knowing that we all go through life and it’s struggles. That life, well, it’s pretty textbook and no experience is unique. Which if you ask me- is the part worth celebrating. okay, but If you asked my therapist, he’d tell you I was insulted when he told me my problems were textbook. I couldn’t imagine that anyone had ever been through what I had… or that they could feel the way I do… I honestly had to question his credentials and our client patient relationship until he broke it down. 

And so I’ve learned We aren’t alone. 

and By sharing our experiences/ stories, we can connect, heal and move on. 

Now that my friends, is a fucking relief. 

which is WHY we are here! Each week I will be sharing confessions from my life and yours. there will be interviews, stories read, there will be voices heard. I want to hear your confessions- both tragic and hilarious- the ones you swear no one will understand - the ones you are convinced shaped you for better or worse- I’ll be like a high priestess listening. sacred style. and our listeners will vow to hold space, not judge but imagine what that might be like. What do you think? You ready to confess? Let's do it…

www.ashleymkelsch.com

www.dressingroomconfessions.co

--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/modernrenegades/message

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe