Ask a Decision Engineer

When facing big decisions, even the smartest people can get tied into knots. But it doesn't have to be that way.

Hi, I'm Michelle Florendo.

I studied decision engineering at Stanford and over the past 15 years, I've helped hundreds of people navigate complex decisions in their professional and personal lives.

In season four of my podcast, Ask A Decision Engineer, I'll be interviewing guests on the show who will share insights, strategies, and tools to help you work through your decision-making challenges.

You'll hear from authors, professors and practitioners spanning the fields of decision science, psychology, organizational behavior, and human centered design.

New episodes drop in June. Subscribe now, wherever you get your podcasts.

To learn more from Michelle about decision making, check out

• The Ask A Decision Engineer website
• Her Stanford Continuing Studies course
• Her self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Her Decision Toolkit for Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop on Maven

• Check out Michelle’s self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Michelle’s Decision Fluency for Professionals Course
• Her Decision Toolkit Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop

Michelle Florendo is a Stanford-trained decision engineer and executive coach who is on a mission to teach people how to make decisions with less stress and more clarity. Over the past decade, she has coached and taught hundreds of leaders across tech, healthcare, and financial services, in organizations ranging from pre-IPO startups to major tech companies like Amazon, Google, and Salesforce.

She's been an adjunct lecturer at Stanford, helps train coaches as a faculty coach for Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute, and hosts the podcast, Ask A Decision Engineer. She earned her engineering degree from Stanford and her MBA from UC Berkeley.

For those interested in exploring Michelle's coaching and speaking services further, additional information can be found on her professional website at poweredbydecisions.com.

In this Ask Me Anything (AMA) episode, I answer a question from a listener about how to tell whether the decisions he has made were the best ones. Listen in as I discuss how to reduce doubt after making a decision.

Key topics covered in this episode:

• 1:55 - what this listener is really asking
• 4:02 - the short answer to the question
• 5:23 - what would be more helpful when facing this question
• 6:13 - the feeling that prompts this question and why you feel it
• 7:58 - the surprising truth about wanting to maximize your outcomes
• 9:25 - the first step in feeling better about your decisions
• 10:23 - the power of choosing contentment over conditioning
• 11:33 - how to get clear with your objectives
• 12:47 - the importance of committing to staying present

To learn more from Michelle about decision making, check out

• The Ask A Decision Engineer website
• Her Stanford Continuing Studies course
• Her self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Her Decision Toolkit for Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop on Maven

• Check out Michelle’s self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Michelle’s Decision Fluency for Professionals Course
• Her Decision Toolkit Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop

Michelle Florendo is a Stanford-trained decision engineer and executive coach who is on a mission to teach people how to make decisions with less stress and more clarity. Over the past decade, she has coached and taught hundreds of leaders across tech, healthcare, and financial services, in organizations ranging from pre-IPO startups to major tech companies like Amazon, Google, and Salesforce.

She's been an adjunct lecturer at Stanford, helps train coaches as a faculty coach for Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute, and hosts the podcast, Ask A Decision Engineer. She earned her engineering degree from Stanford and her MBA from UC Berkeley.

For those interested in exploring Michelle's coaching and speaking services further, additional information can be found on her professional website at poweredbydecisions.com.

In this Ask Me Anything (AMA) episode, I answer a question from a listener about how to approach decisions so that she can move past overwhelm and feel more confident in her decision making. Listen in as I discuss four key steps for her to tackle decisions with more ease.

Key topics covered in this episode:

• 1:23 - Process orientation vs. outcome orientation
• 2:32 - Improving confidence by discarding unrealistic bars for decision quality
• 5:32 - Knowing where to focus by using the Covey's Circles tool
• 8:39 - Breaking decisions down into bite-sized pieces using the 3 Components framework
• 10:41 - Key questions to ask to drive toward clarity in each component
• 17:44 - Other ways you can use the 3 Components framework
• 19:19 - The critical last step in any decision making process

To learn more from Michelle about decision making, check out

• The Ask A Decision Engineer website
• Her Stanford Continuing Studies course
• Her self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Her Decision Toolkit for Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop on Maven

• Check out Michelle’s self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Michelle’s Decision Fluency for Professionals Course
• Her Decision Toolkit Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop

Michelle Florendo is a Stanford-trained decision engineer and executive coach who is on a mission to teach people how to make decisions with less stress and more clarity. Over the past decade, she has coached and taught hundreds of leaders across tech, healthcare, and financial services, in organizations ranging from pre-IPO startups to major tech companies like Amazon, Google, and Salesforce.

She's been an adjunct lecturer at Stanford, helps train coaches as a faculty coach for Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute, and hosts the podcast, Ask A Decision Engineer. She earned her engineering degree from Stanford and her MBA from UC Berkeley.

For those interested in exploring Michelle's coaching and speaking services further, additional information can be found on her professional website at poweredbydecisions.com.

Sometimes there are decisions that are so overwhelming and emotionally draining that what we decide to do to stay mentally and emotionally fit enough to make the decision is as important as the decision process itself. In today's episode, you'll hear from a guest client facing a difficult decision regarding care for her aging mother with a mental health condition. Learn strategies for working through tough decisions involving others.

Key topics we cover:

• 1:58 - What's key to consider in emotionally difficult decisions
• 2:30 - Constraints in decision making
• 8:31 - How Covey's Circle of Influence is a tool that can be used to identify where to focus your efforts
• 15:11 - The importance of identifying where you have control and where you don't have as much
• 17:22 - Divergent vs Convergent thinking in exploring options
• 22:05 - How constraints can sometimes be helpful
• 26:04 - How to deal with feelings that seem like an obstacle
• 29:45 - The importance of identifying what it will take to resource yourself

Resources if you are impacted by mental illness:

• NAMI.org - National Alliance on Mental Illness
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1 (800) 273-8255

To learn more from Michelle about decision making, check out

• The Ask A Decision Engineer website
• Her Stanford Continuing Studies course
• Her self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Her Decision Toolkit for Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop on Maven

• Check out Michelle’s self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Michelle’s Decision Fluency for Professionals Course
• Her Decision Toolkit Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop

Michelle Florendo is a Stanford-trained decision engineer and executive coach who is on a mission to teach people how to make decisions with less stress and more clarity. Over the past decade, she has coached and taught hundreds of leaders across tech, healthcare, and financial services, in organizations ranging from pre-IPO startups to major tech companies like Amazon, Google, and Salesforce.

She's been an adjunct lecturer at Stanford, helps train coaches as a faculty coach for Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute, and hosts the podcast, Ask A Decision Engineer. She earned her engineering degree from Stanford and her MBA from UC Berkeley.

For those interested in exploring Michelle's coaching and speaking services further, additional information can be found on her professional website at poweredbydecisions.com.

How do you figure out what to do after you graduate from college? In this episode, I show a college student how to clarify what she wants, reduce the stress of finding the perfect job, and avoid getting overwhelmed by uncertainties.

Key topics we cover:

• 2:27 - How to reframe "I don't know what I want"
• 5:58 - How to use the "Happiness Pyramid" to clarify what you want
• 8:48 - What to do with advice that tells you to follow your passion
• 13:50 - Why feelings can be super useful in the process of clarifying what you want
• 14:40 - How to shift your thinking so that it's easier to recognize the options you have
• 16:24 - How to think about options
• 18:33 - How you should approach generating new options if things don't work out
• 21:05 - Why it's critical to learn how to deal with uncertainty
• 25:26 - How to design exercises that make the job search less overwhelming

To learn more from Michelle about decision making, check out

• The Ask A Decision Engineer website
• Her Stanford Continuing Studies course
• Her self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Her Decision Toolkit for Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop on Maven

• Check out Michelle’s self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Michelle’s Decision Fluency for Professionals Course
• Her Decision Toolkit Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop

Michelle Florendo is a Stanford-trained decision engineer and executive coach who is on a mission to teach people how to make decisions with less stress and more clarity. Over the past decade, she has coached and taught hundreds of leaders across tech, healthcare, and financial services, in organizations ranging from pre-IPO startups to major tech companies like Amazon, Google, and Salesforce.

She's been an adjunct lecturer at Stanford, helps train coaches as a faculty coach for Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute, and hosts the podcast, Ask A Decision Engineer. She earned her engineering degree from Stanford and her MBA from UC Berkeley.

For those interested in exploring Michelle's coaching and speaking services further, additional information can be found on her professional website at poweredbydecisions.com.

Key topics we cover in this episode:

• 03:47 - What to do when your intellect says one thing and your intuition says another
• 07:21 - Breaking big decisions into smaller microdecisions
• 07:57 - Unpacking feelings about money and deciding to invest in one's business
• 14:05 - What's keeping her awake at night
• 17:17 - Clarifying her objectives
• 19:12 - What it means when there is an option you're not willing to entertain
• 20:40 - What to do about information gaps
• 28:03 - Determining the value of information
• 29:29 - How to deal with the desire to just make a decision already

There are three key things that I hope you take away from this episode. 

• If you find yourself torn between your intellect and your intuition, bring your intuition and feelings into the light. In other words, leaned in and determine what data your intuition and feelings can provide to your intellect so that you can get all parts of you on the same page.
• If you find that there's a particular objective that triggers an emotional reaction that may overshadow your rational thinking such as feelings about money. Set that objective aside to look at the decision with a clear lens and then bring it back into consideration later.
• If you have information gaps examine, ask yourself what is the value of gathering additional information and whether it is actually worth making that investment. If it is worth it to make that investment, explore how you can get comfortable with the tension that you'll experience until you're able to resolve some of those unknown.

Your head and your heart need not battle it out. When you make space to bring both types of thinking into the picture, you'll leave with a much clearer picture of how to move forward.

To learn more from Michelle about decision making, check out

• The Ask A Decision Engineer website
• Her Stanford Continuing Studies course
• Her self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Her Decision Toolkit for Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop on Maven

• Check out Michelle’s self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Michelle’s Decision Fluency for Professionals Course
• Her Decision Toolkit Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop

Michelle Florendo is a Stanford-trained decision engineer and executive coach who is on a mission to teach people how to make decisions with less stress and more clarity. Over the past decade, she has coached and taught hundreds of leaders across tech, healthcare, and financial services, in organizations ranging from pre-IPO startups to major tech companies like Amazon, Google, and Salesforce.

She's been an adjunct lecturer at Stanford, helps train coaches as a faculty coach for Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute, and hosts the podcast, Ask A Decision Engineer. She earned her engineering degree from Stanford and her MBA from UC Berkeley.

For those interested in exploring Michelle's coaching and speaking services further, additional information can be found on her professional website at poweredbydecisions.com.

Today's episode touches on a number of different feelings: the excitement of a new path and the doubts around whether it will pan out the questioning around how much our desires are a result of the culture we've been surrounded by, or if deep down inside, we actually want something else. When we feel like we are swimming in an ocean of thoughts and feelings, it can be extremely useful to get those thoughts down on paper in a structured way. 

• Consider doing a brain dump and categorizing things into the three components, objectives, options, and information
• If you are having a hard time articulating what you want, imagine how you want to feel in the future
• A decision matrix can be a useful tool to organize what comes to mind with those three components
• Perhaps try to map out different options and scenarios onto a decision tree so that you can make sure you are exploring all branches, fairly

Structure can help you make better sense of all the inputs you have so that you can see things more clearly.

To learn more from Michelle about decision making, check out

• The Ask A Decision Engineer website
• Her Stanford Continuing Studies course
• Her self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Her Decision Toolkit for Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop on Maven

• Check out Michelle’s self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Michelle’s Decision Fluency for Professionals Course
• Her Decision Toolkit Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop

Michelle Florendo is a Stanford-trained decision engineer and executive coach who is on a mission to teach people how to make decisions with less stress and more clarity. Over the past decade, she has coached and taught hundreds of leaders across tech, healthcare, and financial services, in organizations ranging from pre-IPO startups to major tech companies like Amazon, Google, and Salesforce.

She's been an adjunct lecturer at Stanford, helps train coaches as a faculty coach for Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute, and hosts the podcast, Ask A Decision Engineer. She earned her engineering degree from Stanford and her MBA from UC Berkeley.

For those interested in exploring Michelle's coaching and speaking services further, additional information can be found on her professional website at poweredbydecisions.com.

If you have already decided what course of action to take, but are having a hard time actually acting on it, explore:

• what emotions are arising as you think about taking action?
• where are those emotions coming from?
• if one of those emotions is fear or dread, what is on the other side of that?
• if what you fear were to come to fruition, what will you decide to do then?
• how might you keep the positive benefits of the course of action you chose top of mind?

To learn more from Michelle about decision making, check out

• The Ask A Decision Engineer website
• Her Stanford Continuing Studies course
• Her self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Her Decision Toolkit for Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop on Maven

• Check out Michelle’s self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Michelle’s Decision Fluency for Professionals Course
• Her Decision Toolkit Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop

Michelle Florendo is a Stanford-trained decision engineer and executive coach who is on a mission to teach people how to make decisions with less stress and more clarity. Over the past decade, she has coached and taught hundreds of leaders across tech, healthcare, and financial services, in organizations ranging from pre-IPO startups to major tech companies like Amazon, Google, and Salesforce.

She's been an adjunct lecturer at Stanford, helps train coaches as a faculty coach for Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute, and hosts the podcast, Ask A Decision Engineer. She earned her engineering degree from Stanford and her MBA from UC Berkeley.

For those interested in exploring Michelle's coaching and speaking services further, additional information can be found on her professional website at poweredbydecisions.com.

We need to stop thinking that the best decisions are ones made in an emotional vacuum. There's a cost to ignoring how we feel. At best we leave useful data on the table. But at worst, 

- we waste time beholden to emotions that do have a powerful hold over us

- we make decisions that deliver on the opposite of what we actually want

- we exhaust ourselves by only using a portion of the brainpower that we could possibly be using.

The more we can get curious about what is the feeling that's coming up and what is it telling us about our process, the more useful it can become in moving forward with a good decision.

If you have feelings come up, take a step back, not to ignore, but to observe. Take an engineering lens and try to get at what is the data, ask yourself: 

How can I learn more about these inputs for the decision problem I'm trying to solve? Where's that coming from? Why is this feeling coming up? Is it because there's a particular objective or value that is not being acknowledged? Is it because I feel constrained in my options? Do I have a sense of knowing my intuition and summary of past experiences? Is this a feeling stemming from a discomfort with not knowing? Perhaps it's simply the discomfort of not having reached a resolution yet.

To learn more from Michelle about decision making, check out

• The Ask A Decision Engineer website
• Her Stanford Continuing Studies course
• Her self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions 
• Her Decision Toolkit for Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop on Maven

• Check out Michelle’s self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Michelle’s Decision Fluency for Professionals Course
• Her Decision Toolkit Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop

Michelle Florendo is a Stanford-trained decision engineer and executive coach who is on a mission to teach people how to make decisions with less stress and more clarity. Over the past decade, she has coached and taught hundreds of leaders across tech, healthcare, and financial services, in organizations ranging from pre-IPO startups to major tech companies like Amazon, Google, and Salesforce.

She's been an adjunct lecturer at Stanford, helps train coaches as a faculty coach for Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute, and hosts the podcast, Ask A Decision Engineer. She earned her engineering degree from Stanford and her MBA from UC Berkeley.

For those interested in exploring Michelle's coaching and speaking services further, additional information can be found on her professional website at poweredbydecisions.com.

When facing big decisions, even the smartest people can get tied into knots. But it doesn't have to be that way. Hi, I'm Michelle Florendo. I studied decision engineering at Stanford and over the past 15 years, I've helped hundreds of people navigate complex decisions in their professional and personal lives.

 In season three of my podcast, Ask a Decision Engineer, we'll be tackling ALL THE FEELS. You know, when you wish you could just make a rational decision, but can't.     The truth is, if you want to feel confident in your decision, don't ignore your emotions. Examine them.

This season, I'll teach you about the types of emotions that may arise in decision-making, what to do about them, and how to use them as data so that you can move forward with less stress and more clarity.

New episodes drop in mid may. Subscribe now wherever you get your podcasts.

• Check out Michelle’s self-paced course Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions
• Michelle’s Decision Fluency for Professionals Course
• Her Decision Toolkit Coaches and Counselors virtual workshop

Michelle Florendo is a Stanford-trained decision engineer and executive coach who is on a mission to teach people how to make decisions with less stress and more clarity. Over the past decade, she has coached and taught hundreds of leaders across tech, healthcare, and financial services, in organizations ranging from pre-IPO startups to major tech companies like Amazon, Google, and Salesforce.

She's been an adjunct lecturer at Stanford, helps train coaches as a faculty coach for Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute, and hosts the podcast, Ask A Decision Engineer. She earned her engineering degree from Stanford and her MBA from UC Berkeley.

For those interested in exploring Michelle's coaching and speaking services further, additional information can be found on her professional website at poweredbydecisions.com.