Ask My Daddy

Is this going to be our FIRST EVER two part question expanding across TWO episodes?? Fingers crossed, so it begins - sterioscopic and flapping cat hairs. We still have to get through the silly beginning banter and blow some mics while I still try to figure out what the actual eff I’m doing with sound. I really wish I had trumpet sounds because we are discussing the Periodic Table - what I thought was Daddy’s FAVE subject but now I think that is TBDDDDDD. Per usual, I request everyone to stick with us through an itty bitty amount of political non-offensive shit that I make interesting (?) and cheers to this episode!! But you have to promise to come back for PART 2 to hear how we settle the little century debate or NOT, only time will tell.

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I know it’s been a minute or more than a minute, but we are back to impart some knowledge (or lack of) on this episode!  Do we have to discuss Wordle AND sing the effin Mickey Mouse song on every episode? Yeah we do cuz Mickey Mouse does a BLURT! I know, wtf… SMH IRL IDK! Daddy is ready and willing and… we try to fit our listeners in our hands before getting to the good stuff. *Drumroll* The question is a combination of a listener question from Joshie Poo and the OG list - where did the terms of the left and right directions come from? And since I couldn’t find hardly shit on that question, I paired it with the OG question of what does your dominant hand say about you - are you a leftie or a righty? We toe (tow?) the political rabbit hole but don’t worry, I would NOT subject anyone to those antics! So basically no one knows any of these answers but I will now say lefticus and rightus for my directions - you’re welcome and cheers!!

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This is another segment of rapid fire questions! We are going at rapid fire Joel speed - is that an oxymoron? Hmmm.. Appears opinions are like assholes and daddy has MULTIPLES!! WTF - I know, I know. Stick with us past the 18 min mark to get to question number TWO…We have quite a mix of questions. Drink up bishes or phone a bro if needs be and cheers to all!!

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We may or may not have had a little bit to drink on this episode that we recorded a little late in the evening, but it just makes it more funner cuz military alphabets, Greek alphabets and shit. Which has nothing to do with this episode’s question, no surprise there! Daddy says he’s actually READY for this question, hmmm - he is a good bullshitter so we shall see. Good vibes only!!! And then tangents come - so sorry for the banter about alpha omega and blah blah blah… drum roll for the QUESTION - hold for the burp (sorry!) and the knitting babushka talks and the comfy knit pants: How is someone’s blood alcohol concentration (BAC) tested? WOw what a rabbit fuckhole we go down, we are not PC as we’ve never claimed to be so dont’ judge me, us, them - good luck guys and don’t take any of our advice!

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Starting off strong with a healthy debate about equilibrate - what the?? Yeah first tangent is positive and negative idiots with everyone trying to “equilibrate” to being a neutral idiot! Chug chug something good to get ready for the rest. And Wordle appears, not new to any of us but what do you get when Wordle is missing two ears? Not the question of the night! Are we ever going to get to it? Yes, but first banter about Roger and Wilco - SMH… This is a super special LISTENER question tonight from a Bestie of the Pod - Candy Cane, you know who you are (the CPA, not the stripper)! Why are spiderwebs called cobwebs? Oh the weaves we web LOL. Cobs don’t weave webs, they just end up naked after you eat all the cornels. Take another sip, you’ll need it as we trudge through this scotch covered question. Its the conglomination of idiots who don’t far mar and trees and shit.. WHOA, this is fucking gold! Making up new acronyms and shit that will NOT stick with the youngin’s - CWD aka cobweb day, really daddy just become the clutter… and then MORE tangents, ugh just lean into it! I hope you enjoy and take another sip, really really! 

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Alright, we have a LISTENER question - mound up! Thank you number 5 for your interesting question as to why glue doesn’t stick to its own bottle… There’s air and water and epoxy, all jumbled together we get this episode. It’s chemistry centric, so Daddy is on point! We discover a too cool for school website - Wonderopolis, feels nostalgic for some reason… Elmer’s glue, gorilla glue, we cover it all, per usual the answer is - IT DEPENDS on if the polymers are sticky or stretchy. Gross!! I’ll raise a glass to this cuz we actually come out a little smarter than when we went in, aka PUT A SOCIOLOGICAL LID ON IT. Just a head’s up so I don’t get random texts, its a Glamor Shot - glug glug glug!!!

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Starting off on a BANG - would you rather rub your input or rub your output? Hmmm… I say neither only because this is a convo with my Daddy. Life lessons from Daddy that nobody asked for. Then I get some family lessons - will we ever get to the question?!? Keep listening… On to sock hops and jitter bug dancin’! Daddy is not a dancer and may be a bomber (J/K!!!!!) he’s just a chemical thief, so what’s the question? It’s a relatable one! The causes of some eye jitter bug twitching is cause for concern and you should seek medical help immediately - cuz we ain’t no doctors. I’ll check all the boxes for fatigue, stress, and excessive alcohol intake PLUS submarines, duh! Enjoy this random bit of shiz-nit and I’ll drink to that whilst twitching! Here’s a hint for the answer - Scotch!!

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Well golly, we some non-producing assholes but we know what episode this is.. We go into the sky and clouds even though we ain’t no meterologists. Please excuse the typos, I’m write it like we say it! Anyone ever thought about the difference between tornadoes and hurricanes??? This is what we dive into or up to tonight. And guess what we do, go on our favorite ride - tangents!!!! Blatant statement equals BS, probably the only nugget of useful info, the rest will be unuseful BUT info nonetheless. We got legit sources, illegitimate mouth pieces, lame memories and LOTS of fun. I think babies should be named after storms, not the other way around, but shit, what do I know?? Fucking nothing, cheers to everyone that is sticking with us in this fun storm party!!!! We say tornado, some say tomater… 

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We could be missing our brains in this episode but that is TBD, bitches! We have a very special dedication at the end for our little tap dancer - but we have a WHOLE lot of fun in between including minimizing bloviation - Wordle - is blove a word? Some questions remain unanswered. We even have our first ever guest, JOSH! My hubby, as he puts his 3 cents in on these random rapid fire questions that is usually all about my daddy - Josh just has recent experience. Y’all know this goes at the most un-rapid fire speed, aka Papa Joel speed! So, hold on to your butts as we get into these life experiences and/or hacks and/or good or bad life advice. We drink up, you’ll need it too. Enjoy! Happy Birthday Daddy!

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Wow, does Daddy have some answers for us tonight!! We talk scientists, of course, Louis Pasteur to be exact - is that a hint for the question? We hop around so many centuries, who knows when shit actually happened cuz we weren’t there… The good, the bad, the ugly about pasteurization and milk. Why does the world use different methods (metrics or units) to measure the goddamn same thing? Makes me all confused, Daddy tries to straighten me out - hopeless! Bringing back the centigrade or fentigrade - cuz of bullshit decisions made in the bullshit decades. What was the original question?? You’ll keep asking as we talk around all these tangents which you know we love! Bottom line - don’t drink straight from the milk teet, aka MILK TITTIES and I almost forgot to mention shit showers from the shit wagon. Cheers to keeping all of us a little safer cuz we are a little smarter (-ish) now!

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