Crina and Kirsten Get to Work

Assertive Communication - Clear, Confident and Calm


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It’s time to focus on the often-misunderstood art of assertiveness—what it is, what it isn’t, and how learning to speak up for yourself with clarity and respect, which can change your life! Whether it’s Crina telling it like it is or just learning to speak up with friends, this episode illustrates just how transformative assertiveness can be, especially for those of us who’ve spent years saying “yes” when we really meant “no.”

Drawing on guidance from the Mayo Clinic, the episode breaks down assertiveness as a healthy, balanced communication style—firm but respectful, confident without being combative. It’s a powerful antidote to stress, resentment, and burnout, especially if you tend to overextend yourself in an effort to keep the peace. Unlike aggression, which bulldozes others, or passivity, which erases your own needs, assertiveness helps you communicate clearly while still honoring relationships and boundaries.

Listeners are reminded that assertiveness isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room—it’s about knowing what you need, expressing it directly, and listening to others with the same respect you expect in return. It’s a skill, not a personality trait, and it can be learned and practiced. The episode offers practical tools: use “I” statements to own your feelings, practice saying no without apology, and pay attention to your body language—standing tall, making eye contact, giving yourself some time to respond and staying calm in moments of tension.  And any of us who struggle with this may want to start small.

You’ll also learn how to identify the traps of passive or passive-aggressive behavior—like saying yes when you mean no, or expressing frustration through sarcasm—and how these patterns can damage relationships and leave you feeling powerless. With time and effort, assertiveness can lead to greater self-confidence, healthier connections, and more honest communication both at work and in your personal life.

The takeaway? Assertiveness isn’t just about getting what you want—it’s about being clear about who you are. Whether you’re dealing with a pushy colleague, a longtime friend, or a well-meaning but overbearing father-in-law, learning to assert yourself with clarity, confidence and calm is one of the most powerful tools we can develop.

Good Read:

 

Being assertive: Reduce stress, communicate better - Mayo Clinic



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Crina and Kirsten Get to WorkBy Crina Hoyer and Kirsten Barron

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