David Brooks’s How to Know a Person addresses topics and ideas central to being human - and are maybe more relevant to the workplace. 

Brooks suggests that the ability to see others deeply—and to allow ourselves to be deeply seen—is essential to human flourishing. He posits that many of today’s social ills, including the loneliness epidemic and widespread mistrust, stem from our habit of skimming relationships, treating people as functions rather than as full, complex selves. The workplace, where we discover what people truly need—everything from health care, rest, culture, belonging—is one of the most powerful settings for rebuilding this lost capacity.

Brooks frames the aspiration of knowing others through the figure of the Illuminator, the person who makes others feel visible, valued, and understood. People - and particularly leaders - who act as Illuminators create psychological safety, mattering, and authenticity— can be cornerstones of strong workplace culture. Illuminators ask better questions, remain present in conversation, and resist one-size-fits-all assumptions. Their counterpart, the Diminisher, those who unintentionally lessen others, sees people through narrow judgment or distraction.

The book unfolds in three broad movements. “I See You” explores the foundations of genuine perception: curiosity, disciplined attention, and the humility to resist fast judgment. Brooks examines the obstacles—egotism, anxiety, naive realism, static mindsets—and contrasts them with the qualities that bring people closer: tenderness, receptivity, affection, generosity. Good conversation becomes an act of care: listening loudly, favoring familiarity, asking questions that make the speaker the author of their experience, and embracing silence as meaning-making.

“I See You in Your Struggles” addresses how disconnection fuels political animosity, technological dehumanization, and profound loneliness. When people aren’t seen, misunderstandings escalate—even to violence. Brooks emphasizes this concept he calls accompaniment: which means being with someone in hardship without rushing to fix them, honoring their unique point of view, and approaching them with humility.

Finally, “I See You With Your Strengths” turns to helping people live into their gifts. Understanding personality traits, life stage, and changing identities allows us to appreciate people in their evolving fullness. Seeing others deeply—at work and beyond—is ultimately the antidote to loneliness and a path to more humane, connected communities - and, as Brooks posits, may even be part of the antidote to our political divide.

In 2025, a record number of Americans—8.5 million—are working two jobs. This surge in “moonlighting” is presenting new challenges for employers and creating big impacts - good and bad for employees. While some workers seek extra income to meet rising living costs and cope with inflation - or guard against uncertainty, others pursue second jobs to gain skills, explore interests, or test entrepreneurial ideas. Women and young adults aged 20–24 are particularly likely to moonlight, often out of both necessity and ambition.

Moonlighting encompasses everything from freelance work and gig economy jobs to online businesses and passion and experiment projects. The concept of two jobs has evolved beyond traditional notions of “after-hours” work and now includes diverse forms of supplemental employment. Working two jobs raises questions about burnout, work-life balance, performance impacts, and whether to implement formal moonlighting policies.

The economic driver behind dual jobholding appears to be motivated by stress over job insecurity, with Gen Z, in particular, struggling.  69% of our Gen Zers live paycheck to paycheck, up from 57% in 2023. Burnout is also escalating. A March 2025 survey revealed 68% of Gen Z workers report burnout, and they’re hitting that wall earlier in life—around age 25—compared to prior generations. The pressure is compounded for women, who are more likely to juggle paid work with caregiving responsibilities, leading to chronic stress, health risks, and strained relationships.

Despite these challenges, second jobs often don’t hurt performance—but they do increase the risk of burnout and work-family conflict. That reality is prompting many forward-thinking employers to rethink their stance on moonlighting, which has generally been negative. Rather than discouraging side gigs, progressive organizations are adopting flexible schedules, mental health support, and career development strategies that align with employees' evolving needs.

Ultimately, moonlighting is not a fleeting trend—it reflects a structural shift in how Americans work and live. By acknowledging and supporting employees who hold second jobs, employers can foster engagement, loyalty, and resilience in an evolving economy. Supporting moonlighters isn't just about accommodating outside work—it's about adapting to a changing workforce with empathy, flexibility, and foresight.

Feeling drained by Monday? Wondering how you'll survive the week? You're not alone! In this episode of *Crina and Kirsten Get to Work,* we tackle the mental health struggles that weigh us down amid today’s chaotic landscape. 

From political turmoil to women's healthcare rights and the financial crunch from inflation, countless issues amplify our anxiety. With 1 in 5 women facing mental health challenges—think depression, PTSD, and anxiety—it's crucial to spotlight the unique hurdles women encounter, including the burden of unpaid labor and the ever-present pay gap. 

Recent research shows that women experience mental health conditions differently than men, and we're unpacking it all. We'll discuss the critical role of connection—our go-to remedy for many mental health issues—even when social interactions feel like climbing a mountain. Setting boundaries and carving out time for self-care isn't just important; it's essential. 

Join us as we break the stigma, share our insights on mental wellness, and ponder if a smaller circle might just be the secret to healing in our demanding world. It’s time to put your mental health first—tune in for the tools and conversation you need to thrive!

Reverse mentoring flips the script, pairing ambitious younger employees with seasoned leaders to share insights on today’s hot topics, from tech trends to leadership styles. First popularized by Jack Welch at GE in the '90s, it’s now a strategic powerhouse for attracting and retaining young talent.

The magic happens when the right pairs are formed—think introverts with extroverts—to spark dynamic conversations. Engaging mentees in the process is key, as addressing any fears about crossing hierarchical lines lays the groundwork for trust. Without commitment, even the best matches can fizzle out.

The perks are hard to ignore: Companies with reverse mentoring programs report a 72% boost in communication and an impressive 96% retention rate for younger employees. Participants leave feeling empowered, fostering innovation and keeping leaders in tune with market shifts. Plus, it amplifies diversity and inclusion by shedding light on workplace challenges.

Take BNY Mellon, where the program has deepened connections and encouraged leaders to seek employee input. Others, like Estée Lauder and British Airways, have tapped into reverse mentoring to drive culture change and dismantle barriers.

In short, reverse mentoring is a two-way street, turning the wisdom of experience into fresh perspectives that invigorate the workplace.

In the fast-paced world of work, the simple act of observation is often overlooked—yet it offers a real and measurable edge. Research shows that the ability to “read the room,” such as recognizing emotions in others’ faces and voices, provides valuable insight into unspoken dynamics like mood shifts, alliances, or resistance. 

Observation creates the feeling of being seen and heard—for both the observer and those around them. Observation requires not focusing cognitively, but noticing yourself, others, and the environment in real time, with awareness and intention. Writer David Brooks refers to particularly attentive individuals as “illuminators”—those who are persistently curious about others and help people feel truly understood. In contrast, “diminishers” are too self-absorbed to notice what’s happening around them.

Despite our good intentions, there are forces that work against our ability to observe. Power, for instance, has been shown to reduce perspective-taking and awareness of others. To combat this, leaders and people in power should deliberately switch into “observer mode,” especially in rooms where power dynamics are unequal. Other barriers include our negativity bias (we over-focusing on flaws), inattentional blindness (we miss what’s routine or familiar), and our psychological state (stress and urgency diminish our ability to notice others' needs).

There are practical, field-tested strategies to restore and strengthen observational power. Techniques include strategies listing “three good things” noticed during the day, using two-column notes (content vs. process), timeboxed round-robins to ensure equal airtime, and asking diagnostic questions like “What are we not seeing?” or “How could this fail?” Silent writing before group discussions helps quieter observers contribute, while brief reflective summaries during meetings—e.g., “Here’s what I’m hearing; what did I miss?”—can flush out hidden disagreement and signal active listening.

Finally, leaders should watch out for “power fog.” When those in charge speak with certainty, it’s critical to double-check assumptions and seek out dissenting or overlooked perspectives. 

Observation is a particularly crucial leadership tool—but it is important for all of us - and as Kirsten says, observation is surprisingly entertaining, often revealing, and always worth slowing down for.

Good Reads:

PubMedMoodle@UnitsPMC

The Silent Sex: Gender, Deliberation, and Institutions

Are Women the Silent Sex?

Power and Perspectives Not Taken

What Great Listeners Actually Do

The transition to a leadership role is a significant and often challenging shift. Research shows that over 60% of new managers fail to make this transition effectively. This is largely because leadership is not simply a scaled-up version of individual contribution; it requires a fundamental change in mindset, behavior, and priorities.

Leaders must redefine success from personal achievement to enabling team performance. This includes developing empathy, resolving complex team conflicts, and delegating effectively. Delegation is especially crucial—it not only distributes workload but also fosters team development. New leaders must learn how to set expectations, offer appropriate support, and monitor progress without micromanaging.

Our motivation at work changes because our role changes - we are no longer the top performer, but supporting others to be the top performer.  Self-awareness also becomes more important. A leader’s emotions and behaviors have broader impacts, so maintaining composure and understanding one’s influence on others is key. Conflict resolution becomes even more important in a leadership role.Reflection takes on a larger role; leaders need to routinely evaluate what’s working, what’s not, and how their leadership style affects outcomes. 

Common pitfalls derail many new leaders. These include trying to do too much too quickly, over-relying on authority, micromanaging out of fear, making hasty changes, and lacking clarity around leadership philosophy and mindset. New leaders also struggle with setting boundaries, aligning with their boss’s priorities, and effectively communicating unpopular changes.

Harvard suggests three major mindset shifts to ease the transition:

Success in leadership comes from building systems, letting go of control and trusting others.

GOOD READS

Navigating the Jump from Manager to Executive

Ease your Transition from Individual Contributor to Leader | Odgers

Transition Traps - Inspired Leadership

For most of us, workplace engagement isn’t a solo sport—it’s a team one. The ADP (yes, the payroll people) Research Institute’s study across 19 countries found that most of us, regardless of company size, are immersed in team life. In companies of 150 or more employees, 82% of employees work on teams, and nearly 3/4ths juggle more than one team. Even if your employer has fewer than 20 people, 2/3rds of us are teaming up on one, two or even three teams. This matters: team membership doubles our odds of scoring high on Gallup’s engagement metrics, with this research concluding that the sweet spot belonging is being on five distinct teams. It is not just the number of teams, but whether we trust the team leader that can make us 12 times more likely to be fully engaged.

Let’s go back to the holy grail of Google’s Project Aristotle, which took team-obsession to a new level.  Google spent twp years studying 180 teams to crack the high-performing team code. They discovered that talent and resources aren’t the magic ingredients—they’re just the gravy. The meat and potatoes or tofu and rice for the team? Psychological safety—the freedom to speak up, take risks, and make mistakes without fear of public humiliation. It turns out, when people feel safe to contribute, they get bold, creative, and collaborative.  Leaders create psychological safety with dependability, structure and clarity, meaning, and impact. 

McKinsey’s research builds on this, showing that effective teams come in different “archetypes.” A cycling team is like a NASCAR pit crew—specialized, coordinated, but with independent metrics. Agile software teams are more like relay squads—high interdependence and shared outcomes, where dropped balls ripple through the race. Surgical teams? Think rowing crew—total synchronicity, clearly defined roles, and an unshakable sense of belonging.  

To truly hum, teams need to tend to their “health drivers,” grouped into four areas. Configuration means having the right roles and perspectives. Alignment is clarity on purpose and shared commitment. Execution covers collaboration, communication, decision making, and feedback. Renewal—the often-overlooked one—ensures long-term sustainability through belonging, psychological safety, recognition, and trust.

Not every team needs to nail all of the team health drivers - of the 17 identified health drivers even top performing teams are only “very good” at about 11, which is like a C-! Four health drivers stand out as the performance heavyweights: trust, communication, innovative thinking, and decision making. 

Much of this is what we know - what is surprising is that just getting some of the elements that create healthy and effective teams right is a game-changer in the workplace.

The review process is in general not great.  Research says only 21% of your review reflects your actual performance. The other 79%? Reviewer preferences, interpretation differences, and who happened to see you shine—or not. One person’s “excellent communicator” is another’s “talks too much at meetings.”   Welcome to the land of subjectivity.

And let’s not forget the recency bias. Most of us can’t remember what we had for lunch last week, let alone your Q1 wins. Performance reviews often rely heavily on the last six weeks—which means your January brilliance is now irrelevant.

We start with a flawed process that can feel deeply personal, which as we know is a bad mix for our ease, meaning and joy at work.

So what can we do?

Before the review, ask: What’s expected of me? What’s the goal of this review? Do you want a response? When?

During the review:

If you're surprised by feedback, that’s probably not failure—it’s probably information. Maybe your boss doesn’t give real-time feedback. Maybe expectations were never clearly shared. And there are times when we can be just not plugged in and self-aware - considering why we are surprised can be very helpful.

And remember: this isn’t just feedback on you. It’s also a window into your boss, your team, and your company. There’s data in how they deliver feedback, what they notice, and what they miss.

So take a breath. Accept the review as just one piece of a much bigger picture. Learn what you can. Then, let it go, Elsa. Let it go.

GOOD READS

Why You Might Want to Say Goodbye to the Annual Performance Review | Working Knowledge

How to Respond to a Performance Review: 9 Tips Employees Need to Know — ManageBetter

(32) How to Respond Effectively During Your Performance Review: A Guide to Standing Out and Driving Growth | LinkedIn

17 Phrases To Respond to Constructive Criticism, According to Psychologists - Parade

Responding to Feedback You Disagree With

Performance Reviews

While openness can build trust, there's a fine line between “vulnerable” and “uh-oh.” Brené Brown, the goddess, says oversharing isn’t true vulnerability—it can actually result in disconnection, distrust, and disengagement.

So why do we overshare at work?

Sometimes it is because we want to feel seen. Without our usual support systems—family, friends, faith, community—we sometimes turn our coworkers into unwilling therapists. Stress is another biggie – and can cause all of us to vent from time to time. We mistake emotional outbursts for “processing.” Sometimes we don’t realize we’ve gone too far.   Sometimes we misread culture.  Social media has created norms of sharing that are in many cases not appropriate in the workplace.

Oversharing risks include: damaged credibility; gossip fuel, confused boundaries and just uncomfortable moments, which lead to uncomfortable relationships.

There is some clear guidance here - graphic health details, romantic chaos, money problems, coworker critiques, political or religious rants, constant negativity, and good old-fashioned trauma-dumping are no-gos.  Save that for your best friend.

But here’s the nuance: not all sharing is bad.  Strategic vulnerability builds trust when we consider relevance, timing, and audience. Saying “I’m overwhelmed” during a tough week = helpful. Saying “my child was arrested this week and is in jail” in the middle of the Monday morning staff meeting = probably nope.  Telling your supervisor – in private – or a trusted coworker, probably yes.  Your child’s arrest is not relevant to the Monday meeting, but it could very well be relevant to your performance and the need for time off so talking with your boss is appropriate because it is relevant and just with your boss at a time which of course you have confirmed is convenient.  Relevance.  Timing.  Audience.

Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re fences with gates. Absolutely we should open those gates, but wisely.

Good Reads (and a video!):

How to Stop Oversharing at Work (and Move On If You Slip) | The Muse

What to Share, What to Hold Back

The risks of oversharing at work are real. Here's how to set better boundaries - Fast Company

…vulnerability vs. oversharing — where to draw a line?

 Why Women Speak In TMI

Joy! Joy! Joy!

Let’s start with a clarification: happiness and joy are not identical twins. Happiness is that bubbly high you get from winning a raffle or finding a parking spot downtown—it’s external,  fleeting, like confetti in the wind. Joy, on the other hand, is more of a soul-deep warmth—steady, internal, and linked to meaning and purpose. Happiness is like a 4th of July sparkler and joy is a campfire that keeps you cozy when life gets chilly.

Research says we all need three things for a fulfilling life: achievement, meaning, and joy.

Most overachievers nail the first two. But joy? That elusive third wheel often gets left in the dust under a pile of emails and grocery lists for our resident overachievers.

Why? It is just a matter of time, or rather lack thereof. A study of 1,500 busy Harvard alums found that after work, chores, and basic hygiene, people had a whopping three hours a day left for discretionary joy-seeking. How those three hours are spent is as important as the three hours themselves. Some folks squeezed the last drop of joy out of those hours and others, well, not so much.

So, how do the joy-masters do it?

In the end, joy isn’t a luxury—it’s a rebellion, a survival tactic, and maybe, just maybe, your best productivity hack yet.

How the Busiest People Find Joy

Unwrapping the Science of Joy - John Templeton Foundation