Check-ins are where management actually happens—and in this episode checkins are given the status they deserve - at the center of performance, trust, and retention. 

Drawing on research, including insights from Harvard Business Review, our Crina and Kirsten unpack a core truth: employees expect a lot from their managers—and rightly so. In a hybrid world, managers are responsible for clarity, feedback, support, and connection, often without much face-to-face time. And the single best tool to meet that moment is a regular check-in.

But not all check-ins work. The good ones are not status updates in disguise. They are focused on the employee—their priorities, their obstacles, and what they need today to move forward. Done right, the employee leads. They come prepared with what’s working, what’s not, and the one or two things that actually matter next. This is real-time career development, not a box-checking exercise.

We also talk about structure: agreeing on expectations, who owns the meeting, what gets discussed, and how often it happens. And yes—frequency matters. Cancelling sends a message, and it’s not a good one.

Then there’s feedback. Clear, direct, and specific—the “rifle, not shotgun” approach. Avoiding honesty doesn’t build kindness; it builds confusion. Paired with active listening, though, feedback becomes a trust accelerator. When employees feel heard and supported, they’re more engaged, less stressed, and far more likely to stay.

The takeaway is simple but not easy: check-ins don’t need to be perfect. But they do need to happen—and they need to mean something.

In this episode, Crina and Kirsten take on the so-called “ambition gap”—and promptly flip it on its head. Spoiler: women aren’t less ambitious. The system just hasn’t been built to recognize, support, or reward their ambition in the same way.

Drawing on research from McKinsey & Company and Boston Consulting Group, the episode starts with a myth-busting reality check: early in their careers, women’s ambition tracks almost identically to men’s -  but by the manager level, that gap widens significantly not because women lose drive, but because workplaces systematically drain it.

So what’s actually happening? Crina and Kirsten unpack the structural issues behind the idea that there is an ambition gap between men and women: women are less likely to have sponsors, less likely to have career advancement conversations with managers, and more likely to carry the invisible “people management tax”—the mentoring, emotional labor, and team support work that keeps organizations running but rarely leads to promotion. Add in a lack of visible role models in leadership, and the message becomes clear: “this path might not be for you.” Over time, ambition to achieve the next level on the ladder doesn't disappear—it gets recalibrated.

And here’s the twist: what looks like an “ambition gap” may be a rational decision. Before anyone starts wringing their hands about women “leaning out,” the episode pivots to something far more interesting: ambition isn’t shrinking—it’s evolving. New data shows that 86% of senior women leaders feel more ambitious than they did five years ago, and 92% are energized about what’s ahead.

The difference? Women are redefining what ambition actually means. It’s less about titles and linear ladders, and more about autonomy, flexibility, impact, and multi-dimensional careers. Today’s leaders are executives and advisors, founders and board members—crafting portfolios that reflect their values and lives, not corporate scripts.  

Crina and Kirsten land on a powerful reframe: the issue isn’t that women lack ambition—it’s that traditional workplaces lack imagination. When ambition is supported, visible, and aligned with real human priorities, it doesn’t fade. It expands - and that, listeners is what is happening for women who work.  Women aren’t opting out. They’re rewriting the rules.

What if the most powerful leadership move isn't agreement—it's a principled "no"? Sunita Sah redefines defiance as quiet integrity: acting on your values when pressure pulls you off course. Join us as  we unpack to spot ethical tension early, navigate it with clarity, and build the courage to push back without drama. It's about alignment over rebellion—and why silence often costs more than speaking up.

SHOW NOTES

Tension starts it—a nagging sense something's wrong. Acknowledgment names the violated value. Escalation shares the concern calmly. Threat of Noncompliance draws your line. The Act seals it with clear action.

These aren't always linear, but spotting your stage turns anxiety into strategy.

Using the Defiance Compass:

Build Your Defiance Muscle:

Picture greenlighting shaky marketing copy. Instead of nodding, you ask clarifying questions, flag the risk, then hold firm: "I can't sign off yet." Result? Better decisions, not chaos.

This week on “Crina and Kirsten Get to Work”, we dig into the 2025 *Women in the Workplace* report—the largest study of women in corporate America, spanning 280+ companies and over 1 million employees—and ask a hard question: what happens when women stop wanting the next rung?

 SHOW NOTES

For over a decade, this report has tracked slow, incremental progress. Women now make up nearly 30% of the C-suite, up from 17%. But the underlying systems? Largely unchanged.

And now, a new shift: women’s ambition is declining.

What We’re Seeing (Again)

Some findings won’t surprise you—but they should still frustrate you:

What’s New (and Concerning)

This year’s report introduces a real shift:

So… What Gives?

If the system hasn’t meaningfully changed—and in some cases is backsliding—opting out starts to look less like a personal choice and more like a rational response.

What Needs to Happen

For companies and managers:

For individual women:

The Bottom Line

The issue isn’t that women lack ambition—it’s that the cost of ambition remains too high.

In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts tackle part two of Performance Improvement Plans (“PIPs”) from the employees perspective. A PIP, to remind listeners, is still the same document—written performance gaps, expectations, timeline, support, consequences—but from the receiver’s side it lands less like a development tool and more like the death knell. There’s that heart-pounding meeting, the polite tone, the printed packet, and suddenly our brains are cycling through shock, shame, anger, and a quick mental calculation of our mortgages. The stories rush in: “This is a setup.” “I had no idea.” “My boss never liked me.” “I’m doomed.”

So first: regulate. When cortisol is driving the bus, our executive function is in the back seat. Breathe. Take notes. Ask for 72 hours to review. We don’t have to debate our entire careers in a single meeting. And don’t sign blindly if you disagree—request time, add written comments, clarify whether you’re signing as “received” rather than “agreed.” At the same time, don’t give anyone ammunition; professionalism is our shield. Get clarity for what is missing in writing: ask for specific examples, request measurable targets, and what “success” looks like at the end of the period. If something feels legally risky—protected leave, discrimination—loop in HR or an employment attorney early. Calm is strategic.

Then comes the paradox: work the plan, even if you’re skeptical. We can translate the PIP into our own micro-goals. Treat it like a project with deliverables, evidence, and weekly metrics. Use check-ins wisely—bring receipts, ask what an “A” looks like, request training or resources, and get specific about the skills you’re expected to build. Meanwhile, manage the nervous system somewhere other than the manager’s office. And we need to consider whether we have the skills, experience and mindset to achieve the goals the employer set for us - and whether we have a chance at convincing our employer that his the case.

And yes, consider a parallel path. Update the résumé. Polish LinkedIn. Network quietly. Doing our best and planning our exit are not mutually exclusive; they’re smart risk management.  A PIP requires action, whether that be bringing our A game or finding something new - in the end, the choice is ours.

In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts consider the Performance Improvement Plans (“PIPs”) from the management perspective.  This is the first of two episodes on PIPs.  The second part will cover PIPs from the employee’s perspective.  

Our hosts unpack how and when PIPs are effective and conversely, what is just a waste of time and a cause for unnecessary tension and conflict.  Employers must trade vague critiques (“needs to be more proactive”) for measurable targets (“submit weekly reports by Friday at 3 p.m. with zero data errors”). A well-crafted PIP defines specific goals, timelines, support resources, and consequences—because fairness lives in clarity. It’s not about catching someone failing; it’s about giving them a fair shot at succeeding.

We also explored the delicate balance between empathy and accountability. Employers walk a tightrope: offering coaching, training, and regular check-ins while holding firm on standards. A PIP isn’t just a document; it’s an ongoing conversation. Done right, it becomes a roadmap for growth. Done poorly, it becomes a paper trail for regret.

And yes, documentation matters. Not because employers enjoy paperwork (they don’t), but because consistency protects everyone. A transparent process reduces bias, reinforces culture, and ensures that performance management isn’t arbitrary. It signals to the broader team that standards are real—and that support is, too.

Ultimately, PIPs can be good leadership in action. They require courage to address issues directly, discipline to measure progress objectively, the generosity to offer reasonable support and humanity to recognize that behind every metric is a person. Sometimes a PIP ends in renewed performance and restored confidence. Sometimes it ends in parting ways. Either way, when approached thoughtfully, it reflects an employer’s commitment to clarity, fairness, and the long-term health of the organization.

Consider the dark side of niceness: the kind that smiles, nods, and says “Great job!” while anxiety and avoidance hums underneath and the real issues never see daylight.

Social psychologist Tessa West considered anxious niceness—when politeness becomes a coping strategy rather than a leadership skill. Instead of honest feedback, we get:

Unfortunately, harmony and effectiveness do not always go hand in hand.  Thoughtful disagreement is where creativity and effectiveness are more likely to occur.

We know about the likability labor women carry - the emotional load at work:

Being agreeable may feel safer—but it comes at a cost.  Agreeableness means people don’t get the information they need to improve; high performers feel invisible or stuck and confidence and growth stall.  Teams are also affected because problems stay underground until they explode; a nice culture quietly bleeds talent and psychological safety drops—even if everyone is kind.

How do we trade niceness for kind honesty - being specific; making candor routine, not dramatic; addressing conflict early and using simple structures that protect honesty.  Do away with nice and bring on kind honesty and candor.

Emotions are not simple cause-and-effect reactions to events, but responses filtered through the stories your mind tells. Your thoughts act as a middleperson between what happens and how you feel, which means distorted thinking can create distorted emotions that don’t actually match reality.

Emotions involve your nervous system, body sensations, thoughts, and sometimes outward behavior; they are adaptive signals, not “good” or “bad.” The intensity, duration, and context of an emotion matter: how long it lasts, how strong it is, and how meaningful the situation is all shape whether your reaction fits the moment.

Cognitive psychologists like Aaron Beck and Albert Ellis showed that emotions are driven by interpretations of events, not the events themselves, which means your feelings often reflect your thoughts about reality more than reality itself. When those interpretations are biased or extreme, your emotions become “amplified,” turning manageable concern into overwhelming dread and often driving unhelpful behaviors at work and in relationships.

The seven emotional amplifiers

Thanks for Listening!

Ditch the stiff year-end reviews—Crina and Kirsten grab the NYT’s “7 Reflection Questions for a Happier New Year” and remix it for work with fun and honesty.  Our hosts turn the New Year’s reflection into a playful self-diagnosis for work, riffing off a NYT article’s serious prompts but swapping them for fun, thoughtful, heart-singing versions that spark levity. Kirsten and Crina consider their answers live, revealing what eluded them, drained their energy, and made their hearts sing—proving honest check-ins beat vague resolutions every time. Expect laughs, aha moments, and work tweaks that feel fun, not forced.