Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our badass duo gets up close and personal with an exercise created by social scientist, author and speaker Alison Fragale.  Fragale has written a great book, How to be a Likeable Badass.  Fragale suggests one of the keys to being a likeable badass is asking for what you want—boldly, frequently, and strategically -- and she has developed an exercise on asking - the No Challenge.

The idea? Ask for things you want until you get 10 rejections. Why? Because asking builds resilience and rejection isn’t as painful as we think.

What should you ask for?  Well, anything you want - from asking your partner to not only make dinner, but also clean up to a raise or more flexibility, maybe a sabbatical, or how about just an upgrade to your hotel room?

Not to say it is not hard to ask - it sure is.  We feel vulnerable.  We assume that people dislike us for asking, which is actually an incorrect assumption.  Asking someone for a favor makes them like you more, not less. People enjoy being helpful, and they’re happier than we assume when they get the chance to say “yes.”  We overestimate how much we will inconvenience people and we fear loss more than we crave gain.

Rejection stings—literally. Studies show social rejection lights up the same part of the brain as physical pain (some researchers even tried treating it with Tylenol—yes, really - and that worked at lessening emotional pain).  Likeable badasses don’t wait for success to be handed to them—they ask for it. And if they hear “no” along the way? They shake it off, pop a Tylenol, and keep going.

Hope is often dismissed as fluffy sentiment, but is actually a powerhouse for transformation—especially in the workplace. Unlike optimism, which passively assumes everything will turn out fine, hope is active, intentional, and rooted in the belief that our actions can shape the future. It’s the antidote to despair, the spark that turns possibility into reality.

As Brene Brown reminds us, hope isn’t a fleeting emotion; it’s a cognitive process. It counters the suffocating weight of hopelessness, which arises from negative thought patterns and self-blame. Instead, hope is a skill—one that can be learned and harnessed to drive individual and organizational success. Psychologist C. Rick Snyder’s research defines hope as the ability to create pathways to goals and summon the motivation to pursue them. This dynamic combo of "willpower" and "waypower" sets hopeful people apart, making them more effective problem-solvers and leaders.

Rebecca Solnit takes it a step further: hope thrives in uncertainty. It acknowledges the unknown but embraces the idea that our actions matter—even if the outcome remains unknown. Optimists may wait passively for better days, but hopeful individuals roll up their sleeves and get to work. History is full of hopeful changemakers whose influence often became clearest after their time.

In the workplace, hope is a game-changer. Studies show hopeful employees outperform their peers, producing more creative solutions and tackling challenges with grit. Hope ignites virtuous cycles: workers who feel supported develop stronger waypower, creating a ripple effect of collaboration and resilience. Organizations with shared visions of hopeful futures—whether it’s making breakthroughs, changing lives, or improving margins—fuel collective motivation and perseverance.

Leaders play a vital role in cultivating hope. Here’s how they can turn hope into strategy:

Hope isn’t naïve or impractical; it’s a deliberate belief in action. It builds connections, creativity, and growth. By anchoring strategies in hope, leaders can steer their organizations through uncertainty toward brighter horizons. Hope doesn’t just dream of a better future—it equips us to build one.

GOOD READS

Hope as the antidote; 

The Strategic Power of Hope; ‘Hope is a​n embrace of the unknown​’: Rebecca Solnit on living in dark times | Society books | The Guardian; 

Research: The Complicated Role of Hope in the Workplace

In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts consider the silent exclusively female workplace challenge - menopause.  Menopause affects over 1 million women in the U.S. annually. Nearly 20% of all women are grappling with its symptoms right now, often in silence. Hot flashes, brain fog, and fatigue aren’t just physical nuisances—they’re cultural battlegrounds. Society often wraps a woman's worth in fertility, leaving those navigating menopause potentially battling stigma, shame, and a perceived loss of identity. Unlike aging men hailed as "silver foxes," menopausal women rarely get the same applause. So let’s change that narrative.

And the workplace is our first stop because, well, it's not such a great place for people experiencing menopause. A Mayo Clinic study revealed menopause costs American women an incredible $1.8 billion annually in lost work time. And we have lots to do with that time, folks!  Fifteen percent of participants reported cutting back hours or missing work due to symptoms, with the worst-affected women 16 times more likely to face “adverse work outcomes.” Disturbingly, over 1% of women quit or were laid off due to debilitating symptoms. Black and Hispanic women often face even harsher impacts, reporting higher rates of symptoms and workplace struggles.

In the UK, a similar story unfolds. Nearly half of menopausal women report work-related challenges like low energy, poor concentration, and feelings of isolation. Many fear disclosing their struggles to employers; 47% avoid sharing the real reason for taking sick days. This culture of silence drives one in ten to leave their jobs entirely.

So, why does menopause get such a raw deal? Unlike conditions like cardiac disease, menopause doesn’t slot neatly into existing workplace health frameworks. The unpredictable, chronic nature of its symptoms demands nuanced solutions—something most workplaces lack.

But change is on the horizon. Forward-thinking companies and organizations are beginning to recognize menopause as a workplace issue. From the British Menopause Society to the European Menopause and Andropause Society, folks are advocating for tangible support around menopause: flexible schedules, breathable uniforms, and health plans that cover menopause treatments. 

Studies show interventions like yoga, cognitive behavioral therapy, and work-life coaching can make a world of difference. With the right support, menopausal women can thrive—not just survive—in their careers. Let’s ditch the stigma, embrace the conversation, and build workplaces where every stage of womanhood is valued. Menopause isn’t the end; it’s a new chapter, and it’s time we wrote it right or maybe write it right?!  You get the point listeners.

Study Shows the Staggering Cost of Menopause for Women in the Work Force

Impact of Menopause Symptoms on Women in the Workplace; 

Without support, many menopausal workers are quitting their jobs; 

Menopause in the Workplace - Women's Health Concern

We acknowledge many of us enter this new year with some uncertainty - and maybe even some fear.  Some of us are just depleted.  As we go into 2025, we need to care for ourselves and each other, preserve our sanity and focus our energy.

January is a great time to reflect on what 2025 will look like for each of us - and not just because it is the beginning of the year, but also because we do the least amount of productive work in January as compared to other months of the year, which means we have some time to consider what we can do in 2025 to create more ease, meaning and joy.

Ideas for 2025:

-Try unexpected appreciation in the workplace.  Surprising coworkers with lunch or a compliment or if you are the manager, sending folks home an hour early can lift spirits.

-Remember the why and connect with how we serve our customers and clients, which is best done through examples. 

-Devote some time in the new year to experimentation - try something new with your personal routine or consider what Shopify did - cancelling all meetings for two weeks to reconsider what meetings were productive and necessary

Wishing you a 2025 filled with ease, meaning and joy.

Contagious Positive Energy: The Rocket Fuel of Great Leaders

Let’s talk about relational energy and why it’s a game-changer for organizations! With new books bursting onto the scene every year, it's like rummaging through a treasure trove of ideas. But what if we told you that the magic ingredient isn't charisma, charm, or sheer brilliance? Nope! It's all about that vibrant, uplifting energy that flows between people!

SHOW NOTES

Enter Kim Cameron from the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business. While diving into the dynamics of various organizations, he made an electrifying discovery: some groups were absolutely buzzing with productivity, and it wasn’t just luck. What was their secret? It’s what we call relational energy — that wonderful sense of positivity that comes alive during interactions. Some people ignite our spirits, while others leave us feeling a little flat. You know the ones who light up the room just by walking in? Yup, that's relational energy in action!

So, why is this so important? Leaders who radiate positive energy are like magnets, attracting motivation and enthusiasm from their teams. When you surround yourself with these energizers, the performance of the entire organization skyrockets. Think about it: when a leader embodies positivity, the whole crew vibes off that energy, leading to a healthier, happier workplace. 

Now, what makes someone a true positive energizer? It boils down to a handful of essential qualities. These folks genuinely care about others, uplifting everyone around them. They show support during tough times, inspire their teams to focus on the bright side, and celebrate successes. They embrace meaningful contributions and treat everyone with respect and kindness. Most importantly, they nurture a loving relationship with themselves, ensuring they radiate that positivity outward.

Why does this all matter? Research reveals that positive energizers significantly boost engagement, lower turnover, and foster a culture of well-being. When organizations are led by these energetic dynamos, they often see a flourishing bottom line too!

It turns out the positive relational energy doesn’t just benefit the workplace — it’s like a health potion for our brains and bodies! Studies indicate that when we soak in this vibrant energy, we reduce stress, boost our immune systems, and foster healthier connections all around us.

GOOD READS

The Best Leaders Have a Contagious Positive Energy

Relational energy - what it is and why it matters to organisations

Women are responsible for over 85% of consumer spending. Not only do we buy for ourselves, but we purchase for everyone else in the house! (Don’t get us started on the burden that represents). Why not consider using your economic power to support businesses that are owned by WOMEN! 

SHOW NOTES

Globally, women control about $20 trillion in annual consumer spending, and that figure could climb as high as $28 trillion in the next five years.   These numbers amount to women controlling and/or influencing 85% of all consumer spending.  Wow - that’s a lot of votes with our economic dollars.  We buy for ourselves, our families, including children and spouses and so many of the people we care for.  And yes, women find the shopping experience unsatisfactory and in many cases shopping experiences are foolishly geared to men.  Ladies, let’s leverage our economic voting power for women owned businesses.  

The number of new women owned businesses is outpacing the number of businesses owned by men.  In 2021, women owned about 25% of all businesses in the US and by 2023, that number had reached 39%.  While women owned 39% of business in 2023, we employed about 9% of the employees and about 5% of all revenues.  Just under 40,000 women owned businesses employ 50 or more people.  This is all to say there are lots of small women owned businesses out there.

Women owned businesses face particular challenges - such as lack of access to capital - but the impacts of women owned businesses are significant, and that incongruity does not make sense.  So let’s use our dollars to support the business making the most difference.  Women tend to start businesses to make a difference rather than just to make money; and women owned businesses are more likely to support their communities.  

Turn Black Friday into a political act and shop women owned.

More good reads:

Women Owned Directory 

The 2024 Impact of Women-Owned Businesses

Women-owned businesses | U.S. Small Business Administration

Women Ownership Statistics 2024 | Advocacy

New Report Finds Growth of Women Business Owners Outpaces the Market

Supporting Women-Owned Business Giving Back To Communities | Bankrate

In this episode, we embark on a catharsis regarding bosses who change their minds, can’t make a decision or jerk us around. 

When bosses change their minds it impacts us as workers.  These changes mean we often redo our work or work we have done becomes unnecessary.  This impacts the meaningfulness of our work - and what was useful work is often not meaningful work when we just need to redo it.  The impact of mind changing can also make us feel disregarded and not valued - and demoralizing.

Implicit - and maybe obvious - in changing a decision is there is change and change is hard and lots of change can really mean chaos.  

What are some approaches to managing situations when it seems like direction from those above us is changing?  Harvard Business Review suggests a “tee-up” with what changes in process, events and decisions have occurred that led to how your team got to a particular place - through whatever circuitous journey.  Another idea is to ask questions about the change, which can help us understand how we got to the place and may provide useful feedback to your boss.  Bosses do not have all of the information we have and communicating that can be helpful.

And it may be you just need a cocktail or a hot bath - or both - because change and revisiting work can be exhausting especially when it happens again and again.

Thinking about making a career change? Feeling stuck in your job? Curious how to change directions, after you’ve spent years (or decades!) building your career? You’re not alone. According to an Indeed survey, the average age for people making a drastic career change is 39. The leading cause? Happiness.

SHOW NOTES

In this episode, we discuss signs that indicate it might be time to consider a career pivot, such as persistent unhappiness, lack of motivation, health implications, increased comparisons to peers, and reticence towards career commitments. We also share Crina's story of feeling burnt out and uninspired in her job, prompting her to consider a change.

Of course there are ways to make a successful career pivot, especially when you focus on the "working identity" approach. Instead of following the conventional wisdom of knowing what you want to do next before taking action, we explore why doing comes before knowing in the process of career change. And of course there are  pitfalls of relying on self-knowledge, advice from friends and family, and consultations with career professionals when considering a career pivot.

Tune in to learn more about how to navigate a career pivot successfully, what to expect after making a change, and how to build a new working identity that brings more happiness and fulfillment. Thank you for listening!

GOOD READS

A Mid-Life Career Shift Is Not a Crisis — Here’s Why You Should Consider One & How to Pull It Off

How much work is too much work? Can you ever turn it off? We’re exploring the roots of workaholism, its impact on our lives, and—most importantly—what to do about it.

What is Workaholism?

Could this be you?

Sometimes we overwork because of external circumstances such as financial problems, distraction from an unsatisfying marriage, or maybe pressure from our workplace. The differentiating feature of real workaholism from similar behaviors is the excessive involvement of the individual in work when it is not required or expected.

Norwegian researchers the University of Bergen created a work addiction scale which uses the following seven criteria to assess the likelihood that an individual possesses a work addiction:

1. You think of how you can free up more time to work.

If you answered with “often” or “always” to any of these points, you may be a workaholic. And if we are agreeable, neurotic, intellectual or imaginative, we are more likely  

People identified as workaholics often ranked high in terms of these three personality traits:

• Agreeableness – Workaholics are more likely to be altruistic, compliant and modest.

But what to do about it?

• Redefine “urgent”

Our lives are too precious to be consumed with work.  While work is fun and rewarding - it is not all things, so let’s not get caught in workaholism or even workaholic behaviors.

A survey by LLC Inc. of over 1000 people across the US with an average age revealed that 83% of us have coworkers who annoys us, 21% have been so annoyed by a coworker they have considered quitting, and 52% say annoying coworkers prevent them from doing their best work.  Yowza - that is something.  And what don’t we like about our coworkers? We do not like complainers, laziness, arrogance (our personal favorite), too much talking, negativity, entitlement (okay so maybe this is our favorite), poor communication, oversharing, or gossipping.

So, what do you do when you’re stuck working with someone you dislike?  There are some good strategies, but first, get some perspective.  How much does it matter and are there ways of looking at it differently?

What to do:

As always, the person we control is ourselves, so when we have feelings of dislike for a coworker, looking inward can be very helpful.  Do you let your brain run with every little incident?  What do our reactions say about us?

Here is the hard one - be the grown up.  The emotionally intelligent grown up. We can stay away from the resentment spiral and remove ourselves from unproductive conversations.

Work very hard to find something you like or admire.  People are rarely just one thing and we can usually find something to like or admire.

Being anything less than respectful ends up leaving us with metaphorical egg on our faces.  Try compassion and respect - who knows, we may find ourselves surprised by the person we dislike.

If we feel pretty confident with checking in with ourselves, being the grown up, seeing the good and embracing compassion and respect, we will find ourselves in connection, which of course is the big payoff.

And if we cannot get to connect, then we can be strategic about how we expose ourselves, which includes being very intentional about what we need from the interactions we really have to have with the coworkers we do not like.

Not everyone we work with needs to be our friend or even someone we like.  While it sure is great when it happens, we can work well when we respect others and ourselves.

Survey Reveals the Most Annoying Coworker Habits - LLC.org

How to Work with Someone You Really Don’t Like