At A Loss - with Timothy Giles

When Kenzie, Nic Russell’s daughter was 2 she was diagnosed with cancer and sadly died. But there was another challenge, Nic also had a 5 year old son that she needed to support through this journey. In this episode, Nic talks about how important it is to be honest and open with children about death and how she founded Kenzie’s Gift, a research-based support resource especially for children and young people.

Reverend Mua Strickson-Pua has 30 years ministry serving generations through life, and loss. As host Timothy Giles seeks tips from Rev Mua on surviving and thriving, emotions arise, anger and tears, ending in a moment of magic.

Our host Timothy Giles swaps seats this week to share his grief. Guest Aston Wells returns. Having shared his devastation and adaptation to life without his treasured brother Sean, he's back to check on Timothy after the sudden death of his big brother Paul.

Jill Goldson of Family Matters has in an earlier episode, coached us through coping with the losses that come with Covid. Today she shares the more personal and profound struggles she faces, since the death of her husband Malcolm. Has her personal professional skill set as a highly credentialed counselor, researcher and academic eased her grief reflex? Host TImothy Giles is surprised by the answer.

Fighting Fit. Perfectly describes Sean Wells. Sean's older brother Aston, discovered Sean in bed one morning, cold and dead. He died of natural but still unclear causes. Aston's life collapsed and he tells our host and Wells' family friend Timothy Giles of ten years grief driven risk taking and addiction, a life on the edge, until finally finding acceptance and peace with the grief for his lost and deeply loved brother.

Can you grieve something other than the loss of a loved one? What is this strange feeling of lethargy and sadness if no one had died? In Maria Millar's second episode, she talks to our host Timothy Giles about understanding feelings of grief that are due to a loss other than death. Loss of a job, a dream, a career, a relationship, we grieve all those things and allowing ourselves to can make all the difference.

Suicide touches so many. Leaving wounds and wonderings that are hard to heal. Difficult even to mention. So in this episode Timothy Giles talks with his friend and old workmate, Mark Wilson, about Mark’s experience of his wife’s suicide. Working in mental health communications now Mark takes us through the experiences and emotions of devastating loss. As well as personal insights into how to cope, and to help others heal.

This is not the life Trish Guttenbeil signed up for. But when husband Jason was diagnosed with terminal cancer, she lost the ability to chart her future with him. Just nine months later Trish was a widow and sole parent to their four children. In this episode Trish tells host Timothy Giles of the devastating impacts of losing a life partner. Explaining in compelling and moving detail the layers of loss that surpassed the grief previously, felt even though Trish has already experienced significant loss in her life. Even knowing death was coming and when, being experienced in adapting to grief, widowhood arrives a uniquely challenging surprise.

Jill Goldson is our first listener that has gotten in touch with us to record her own episode. Jill is the Director of The Family Matters Centre and has over 30 years working to support families, kids and couples. Although her intention was to talk about another subject altogether, with New Zealand now returning to various levels of lockdown due to Covid-19, our host Timothy Giles asks Jill how we cope with challenges of Covid stopping playing in playgrounds, sports fields and perhaps worst of all, in relationships.

No parent should bury their child. A saying heard too often and always at times of profound pain. A pain familiar to Sara Lane, who’s first baby, son Josh was stillborn. In the years since Sara has become a committed volunteer with Sands NZ, supporting bereaved parents.
In this episode Sara shares insights from years of supporting others and talks about her personal experience grieving for her child. She also schools our host Timothy GiIes on how to be with a parent who is living with this powerful loss, what to say, what to ask and the support to offer, that actually helps.