jacks-on, jacks-off:

new segment where jackson and atlan go balls deep discovering all the need-to-know info about internet sensation asmr

0:00 - introduction to asmr

8:14 - asmr roleplay: voldemort and the joker

15:17 - off-topic: ya novels, captain crunch, car dealerships, and cash cab

25:03 - mukbang and asmr crunching

27:49 - sexy and erotic asmr

32:48 - asmr ear eating, chewing, and nibbling

38:08 - asm all-star - ephemeral rift

hard & fast news:

top story:

3:58 ca wildfires

-i guess privatized firefighters are a thing

-trump suggests raking the forest would've helped

-prisoners are being exploited to fight these fires in what is modern day slavery

let's talk about sex:

15:59 islamist extremist are learning hacking skills mainly just to watch gay porn

cross-faded:

22:40 the first study conducted on the effects of microdosing suggests it enhances creativity 

weird science:

30:35 new dating app - righter - is launching just for the maga crowd

what the flying shit?:

39:58 condoleeza rice is being considered as the new coach of the browns?!

dumb decisions:

44:41 japan's cybersecurity expert has never used a computer

Fake News:

50:13 acting ag matt whitaker facing scrutiny for scams involving time travel, bigfoot, and a "masculine toilet"

fuck you's of the week:

58:34 fuck you: eddie scarry for your pathetic attempt to discredit ocasio-cortez and other instances of outright creepiness

1:05:41 fuck off: pod save america guys for plenty of things including running ads for companies that exploit their workers after claiming you'd stop

1:08:33 go fuck yourself: chuck schumer for being re-elected as senate minority leader despite being an awful human being

ahmadinejad tweet of the week

1:12:26 ahmadinejad dunks on america cramming in as many irrelevant hashtags as possible

lightning round:

1:16:03

man justifiably attacks roommate with axe

15-year-old boy gets points on non-existent license after getting caught speeding on this non-motor vehicle

wife chooses to surprise audience by reading something besides vows at wedding ceremony

students go unexpected route after discovering they're sleeping with the same teacher

7,000 households in uk are still watching tv like this

song of the week:

1:30:44 two tone hair - made violent

a couple cold ones:

a new interview talking to artists about their work and process, moray is our guest for the debut - atlan asks stuff like who inspires them, how they found their sound, and what kind of stuff they wanna make moving forward

beer of the episode: simpler times pilsner

hard & fast news:

top story:

all about midterms

7:45 the blue drizzle - what it means moving forward

14:48 dead brothel owner wins assembly seat in nevada (a friend of both joe arpaio and ron jeremy)

18:46 texas representative won re-election from jail

22:35 82-year-old woman cast her first ever ballot these midterms then almost immediately died

let's talk about sex:

24:26 pornhub offered free leaf removal to some upstate NY residents

snack attack:

29:38 recent event in vancouver showcased $40 hot dog water and gwyneth paltrow's shitty goop

cross-faded:

36:20 fda just approved an opioid 10 times more powerful than fentanyl

weird science:

39:34 the case for video games as a tool for sex education

what the flying shit?:

45:43 man with no pants fell through a waffle house ceiling then started attacking people

fake news:

48:49 jeff sessions out, matt whitaker in

fuck you's of the week:

56:35 fuck you: people saying the midterms are a definitive indicator towards anything for 2020

1:01:48 fuck off: multiple separate instances of voter suppression

1:07:03 go fuck yourself: jeff sessions for all the shitty shit you've fought for

ahmadinejad Tweet of the Week

1:13:22 what do boston sports fans and the former president of iran have in common? (besides everything)

lightning round:

1:15:18

ceremony getaway doesn't go as planned for newlyweds

under armour now refusing to pay for employees to have a good time

tennessee doctor nabs $300k from patient for unexpected diagnosis

murderer gets sweet treat after helping out police

song of the week:

1:22:11 i had a party once - the love junkies

hard & fast news:

top story:

2:40 pittsburgh shooting shines spotlight on growing culture of hate, even to the point where "kill all jews" was temporarily trending on twitter

let's talk about sex:

12:41 woman claims she temporarily goes deaf after going down on her husband

dumb decisions:

15:56 man gets his balls ripped off by his dog after smearing them in peanut butter

snack attack:

20:34 girl dies after going too hard at a pancake eating contest

cross-faded:

23:22 utah lawmaker pops his weed cherry, says "shooting up marijuana is no big deal"

8-bit:

28:55 jesus christ go is "pokemon go for catholics"

what the flying shit?:

35:37 fox news reporter hides in bushes to bust immigrants trying to cross border

fake news:

40:06 breaking down the jacob wohl saga

fuck you's of the week:

50:00 fuck you: donald trump says pittsburgh synagogue should've had better protection

52:01 fuck off: maggie haberman promotes "both sides are bad" narrative saying left needs to denounce trump supporting nationalist, louis farrakhan?

56:10 go fuck yourself: mike pence gets a "jews for jesus" rabbi days after the pittsburgh shooting

ahmadinejad tweet of the week

1:00:42 man who hosted a holocaust denial conference denounces terrorism

lightning round:

1:04:11

5-year-old got a surprise inside his batch of halloween candy

one candy company allowed people to switch out all the treats they didn't want

scientist in antarctica may have overreacted after his colleague kept ruining the ending to books he was reading

woman in dc went viral after posting herself with an extremely long cvs receipt

manchester man fined after letting his backyard get so smelly his neighbors say they couldn't open their windows

song of the week:

1:12:41 your heart's intent - moray

hard & fast news:

top story: 

3:17 magabomber cesar soyac

10:17 papa john's new ad campaign

14:30 sayoc used to be a stripper

17:34 sayoc's twitter and other conservative conspiracies

let's talk out sex:

25:35 paul mccartney says he masturbated with john lennon and a few of his friends

cross-faded:

32:12 new study finds giving ecstasy to octopi has some insane effects

weird science:

37:55 naughty america to start offering controversial deepfakes service to consumers

snack attack:

42:29 hooters closing locations because millennials just aren't that into boobs

what the flying shit?:

48:56 booby-trapped wheelchair shoots fbi agent at raiders of the lost ark-style home

dumb decisions: 

52:52 lil xan hospitalized because of hot cheetos

fake news:

57:47 president prump's penis looks like toad

fuck you's of the week:

1:04:23

fuck you: jeff flake says he believes blasey-ford but still voted for kavanaugh anyways

fuck off: hugh hewitt says guy yelling at mitch mcconnell in a restaurant is same thing as the magabomber

go fuck yourself: racist ron desantis gets pwnd by andrew gillum

ahmadinejad tweet of the week:

1:17:07 the former president of iran has a fire twitter

lightning round:

1:22:04

steve bannon's sad republican rally

the 3 words men most like to hear during sex

south african man doing the dirty with something not human

mistaken england man run over 

halloween tops the super bowl in surprising way

song of the week:

1:30:07 the daisy chain - the growlers

Indefinite Final Show!

Hard & Fast News:

Web Weekly:

DJ Khaled refuses to eat pussy

Facebook has announced a new dating feature

Snack Attack:

What does eating the Carolina Reaper do to your body?

One middle schooler arrested for bringing weed infused cheetos to school

What the Flying Shit?: 

The mystery person taking daily shits on a high school track turned out to be the superintendent

A woman performed her own childbirth overseas by watching a YouTube tutorial

Creature Feature: 

Men jailed for killing goat at petting zoo 'because they were hungry'

Weird Science:

US soldier gets world's first penis and scrotum transplant

A Connecticut woman just had a 132 pound ovarian tumor removed

Fake News:

Danny DeVito Day is a now an official holiday in New Jersey

Dumb Decisions:

The anti-vaxxer movement has moved to dogs

Cross-Faded:

Ecstasy can make you not be able to piss, I guess?

Booze producers are putting less alcohol in their drinks because millennials can't hang

Let's Talk About Sex:

Plastic surgeon accused of watching porn and beheadings while performing surgery

A majority of married old people are fucking and liking it

This Week in Movies:

Hallmark is releasing 34 new Christmas movies this year

Song of the Week:

Noah's Choice - Make Me Feel by Janelle Monae

Show in Review: Favorite All-Time Moments/Stories

Hard & Fast News

Let's Talk About Sex: Best strains for mind-blowing sex

Weird Science: Your high changes as you get older

Snack Attack: High Times Top 3 Edibles of 2017

Web Weekly: Most creative ways to smoke

Cross-Faded: How weed affects men and women differently

Creature Feature: High animals

What the Flying Shit?: A new study says that way less college students at ASU smoke that you may think

Dumb Decisions: Stupidest stuff people have done while high

Fake News: Weed Trivia

Top 5 Anti-Weed PSA's

Falling Through Space: New York Times' Maureen Dowd Didn't Enjoy Her First Time High

Song of the Week: A Living Human Girl by The Regrettes

Open:

Syrian Airstrikes

Hard & Fast News:

Let's Talk About Sex: Annual penis festival in Japan promotes sex positivity

Weird Science: Alexa believes in Chemtrails

Cross-Faded: Man finds drugs in retro Nintendo cartridges

What the Flying Shit?: 5-story blue penis painting on side of apartment building in Stockholm

Snack Attack: Israelis sneak into this Palestinian ice cream shop because of how amazing it is

Creature Feature: The hot new trend is "dog yoga"

Dumb Decisions: An Apple memo warning about the dangers of leaking got leaked

Fake News: A group of kids skipped school to go to a cubs game..only found their principal there

Weirdest Products on Amazon

Song of the Week: Get It by Matt and Kim

Guest Co-Host Jackson Kittrell

Let's Talk About Sex: Towns with sexy sounding names are getting free subscriptions to PornHub Premium

Weird Science: A rare illness causes some men to get sick every time they cum

Web Weekly: The condom snorting challenge

Cross-Faded: A new THC-infused beer from the creator of Blue Moon

What the Flying Shit?: A man who froze his toe off got bartenders to put it in a drink

Creature Feature: A Spaniard man who was raised by wolves says he's disappointed with human life

Dumb Decisions: A wife shot shot her husband after he criticized her instant oatmeal

Snack Attack: A Sonic in Mississippi is asking residents to please stop smoking weed in the drive-thru

Fake News: A Japanese couple had to apologize after conceiving a child before it was "their turn" at work

Weekly Reading: Women who get abortions should be punished with the death penalty - Kevin Williamson, The End of Rational Public Discourse

Game: Porn Parody Palooza Part 2!

Song of the Week: Creeps Me Out - Ima Robot