Audio Tidbits

In this episode of How To Matter, I focus on those folks who start questions and other things they want to say with, This may be stupid.... From there, the discussion moves on to those people who like to say that anything bad or unpleasant that happens has a hidden positive value. maybe the experience teaches them a lesson or perhaps makes them stronger. As you may already know, I do have a thought or two about that. The episode concludes with the perspective of three people we likely have heard from before.

It’s fun to be a winner; but losing may have it’s up side too. For example, Walt Disney said, “You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” What do you think about that? Was Walt right or was he just trying to rationalize those broken teeth?

Woody Hayes evidently agreed with the cartoon king, “There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.” As tempting as it is to side with Walt and Woody, Dr. Seuss had a far better soul cleansing strategy, “I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

Sure, your best choice is to press Play and listen so you can judge for yourself.

Proactive leaders are cautious without becoming paralyzed by the potential downside of action. They pursue their goals continuously but incrementally, testing/evaluating progress toward the goal. This approach assures movement toward the goal without exposing the organization to unnecessary and avoidable jeopardy. They do not play it safe but do play it cautiously.

Proactive leaders focus most of their time and energy on organizational stability and goal attainment. They minimize time and energy absorbed by worrying about unlikely contingencies and maintaining the status quo.

Proactive leaders make decisions and take action thoughtfully but quickly. They do not delay or postpone decisions or actions, try to avoid or defer doing what needs done, and they do not hesitate or proceed reluctantly. Their actions and reactions are not impulsive or ill-considered. They are, instead, decisive and timely.

What does this have to do with getting on your pony and riding? To learn the secret, you will need to click the play button and listen to the podcast. As you do that, consider clicking one of the subscribe buttons so you have the How To Matter podcast on your favorite podcast player. That way you are sure not to miss future episodes.

Your success starts with Focus, Focus, Focus.

Are you ready to climb aboard the success train? I sure hope so. It's pulling out of the station right now. It'll be great if you're not late but don't complain if you miss the train.

What you do is up to you. Are you going to say Yes, to success? Sure you are. I know it's true because I know something special about you. I know that you're way too smart to let the success train leave the station without you.

Some people don't know that success starts with focus, focus, focus. They think it's okay to fool around and never get down to business. They don't say Yes, to success. They don't understand that when it's time to do it, you have to get down to it.

The success train is pulling out of the station and you're already aboard. You figured out the next totally terrific success tip all by yourself.

Your success depends on Timing, Timing, Timing.

You're always there when it's time to climb aboard the success train and get down to business. You definitely know when it's time to go.

Some people focus on what they need to do. They also understand how important timing is. They try to do what they need to do when they need to do it.

Here's the problem. They don't have the success attitude.

Your success depends on Attitude, Attitude, Attitude.

The success attitude begins with knowing what your goal is. If you don't know what your goal is, you won't succeed.

You have stuff you need to do. It's waiting for you to do it. You need to do it now. Your goal is on down the track. You'll need to climb aboard the success train and get headed that way.

You know what your goal is. You know what you have to do to get there. Do you have the success attitude?

Some people don't have the success attitude. They get moody and pout. They don't care whether they do a good job or not. They don't just go ahead and do it. They don't climb aboard the success train and head on down the track toward their goal.

Do you know some people who don't have the success attitude? Sure you do. They like to complain when they miss the train. They have stuff to do just like you. They think they'll do it when they get around to it. They'd rather fool around or take a rest than climb aboard and give it their best.

You know what you need to do.

You know what your goal is.

You Focus, Focus, Focus on reaching your goal.

You know that Timing, Timing, Timing is important and you try to do what you need to do when you need to do it.

You never forget that your success depends on Attitude, Attitude, Attitude and you have the attitude it takes to reach your goal. You always say Yes, to success.

Your success at last depends on Persistence, Persistence, Persistence.

It means that you aren't a quitter. You don't give up. Anyone can do the easy stuff but it takes persistence when the job gets tough. When the job is hard, you just work harder. You hang in there until you reach your goal.

Whether the success train is going fast or slow, this is what you need to know. You're the boss. You're in charge. It's up to you to say Yes, to success.

The podcast has more for you; so click the Play button and enjoy. Better yet, subscribe to How To Matter with your favorite podcatcher on your phone or other mobile device. That way, you will not miss future episodes and can listen to earlier episodes.

Consider the advice before discounting the advisor, read the message before turning away the messenger.

The expertise and insight of the know-it-alls of the world are boundless; and the K-I-A's are ready to provide advice and input anywhere, anytime, for anyone. A K-I-A was there to point out to Noah there may be a flood, to T. Edison playing with electricity might be shocking, and to Neil Armstrong pulling off his helmet and yelling, Where's the party? could take his breath away. There may have even been a K-I-A around to tell Moses to be sure to get it in writing.

The K-I-A openings have an annoyingly familiar theme: Have you thought about? Did you notice? You may want to, and the old stand by, If I were you. Well, thank you very much; and while you are getting the inflection on your sarcasm just right, don't forget Churchill's admonition Even a fool's right sometimes.

Don't let people mess with your monkey.

Making nice and being the Good Samaritan aren't the only skills you need in your interpersonal repertoire. Sure, those skills are essential for success; but you also have to hang tough at times. For example, is there someone driving you up the wall with their suggestions, advice, and superior attitude? They have solutions to problems you don't have, answers to questions you didn't ask, and suggestions for how to handle things you are handling just fine. Their favorite sport is nosing into your business.

Instead of seething inside or giving into the urge to tell them what they can do with their suggestions and opinions, next time, smile and say, Isn't that my monkey? Whatever their response, say, Thank you; but my monkey gets upset if anyone but me tries to handle him.

Whether you have a chance to explain your reasons or can only walk away, don't let arguments get out of hand.

Do you sometimes find yourself in the middle of intense arguments quickly getting nowhere? If so, the instant you realize what's happening, stop talking, wait five seconds, and then calmly ask, What do you want the outcome of this conversation to be? What is your goal?

Ask a few more questions to be sure you understand and to help you determine whether you can support the goal. If so, explain how. If not, say, Your goal isn't one I can support. If you want, I will try to help you understand why I can't. If the person wants to listen, state your reason as clearly and as briefly as you can. If not, let it go.

The best response of all is saved for the podcast. Click and learn for yourself. Even better, subscribe to How To Matter through your favorite podcatcher.

Back when, my dad told me that we get 80% of our points by just showing up and staying all day. For the remaining 20%, the key is how we manage. It is that 20% that separates the winners from those who merely play the game.

I focus on that critical 20% in this episode of How To Matter. In the podcast, I suggest a strategy you can use to do as well as you know to do, with style, all the time on purpose. I hope you click play to listen.

If you want to be sure you don't miss future episodes of How To Matter, just search for How To Matter in the podcatcher of your choice and subscribe. After that, each episode will be there for you as soon as they are published.

Simon says, Your success is just an attitude away.

 

As with most of life's important adventures, the door to your success potential unlocks with attitude, attitude, attitude; and you hold the key. Unlocking your unlimited potential rests on your fully committing to your success. For you, anything less than success is unacceptable. Coming close, a good try, nearly succeeding, and other versions of not quite making the grade just do not do. Others may be satisfied with having played a good game; but your vision for yourself does not include second place.

 

How do you develop the success attitude? You start by understanding if you do not expect to succeed, you are likely right. Successful people make it look easy but appearances can be very misleading. Your success is the most challenging work you ever have the opportunity to do. If you do not believe you are up to the challenge, it is all too easy to fail. What's more, you quickly see failing is far easier than succeeding. To succeed, you not only believe you have what it takes to succeed, you believe you are up to the challenge. For you, success is not merely a possibility, it is inevitable.

 

Your journey to success does not come with a guarantee. There certainly are pitfalls and hazards along the way. You know the potential to succeed is permanently bound to the possibility of failure. Despite the risk, you are committed to your success, keep your focus on the rewards of succeeding, know anything else is a precursor to personal disaster.

 

No, Simon is definitely not suggesting you ignore the risks or discount the danger. What's more, your personal success coach certainly knows it is safer for you to do only what you are supposed to do, follow the rules, and trust the world will reward you. Others depend on you to do what they want done; and you are dependent on them for everything. If this fits your vision for yourself, it may turn out just fine, assuming you hitched your horse to the right wagon. If instead, you do not see yourself spending your life pulling someone else's wagon, it is time for a new vision for your future, one putting who you are and who you will become on the same success path.

 

Do you see yourself on the success path? If so, you have the attitude it takes to succeed. You imagine yourself succeeding; you know you will succeed. It is the only alternative worthy of your valuable time and personal interest.

 

Where is the point about PRIDE, you ask? I hope your curiosity prompts you to click the play button to learn how PRIDE is essential for your success, essential for you to succeed.

Sharks are involved and decisive. They are very much into being individuals who are not part of the group and who definitely operate in their own interest. Being involved takes the form of being extremely alert, aware of what is going on, and prepared to act quickly and efficiently. Decisiveness is a major characteristic, with sharks being able to make a decision and act on it without hesitation or second guessing.

 

Seals are helpful and playful. They are definitely part of the group and social participation is a high priority for them. They like being helpful, doing things for and with others, and making things work out well for everyone. They also have an ability to be helpful in a fun way, with playfulness being one of their primary characteristics.

 

That leaves buttheads. Well, for that you will need to press play and find out first hand. It may surprise you.

In episode twenty-one of How To Matter, I talk about personal space. The discussion focuses on physical, emotional, moral, social, sexual, and intellectual boundaries, ours and those of other people. Just as we do not want others to cross our personal boundaries without our permission, we need to take care not to cross the personal boundaries of other people without their permission, their consent. Being able to judge and then respect the appropriate distance from other people is an important key to assuring that we are someone who matters, in the most positive sense of mattering. I hope you press the play button and listen to the discussion.

* Always be as dependable as you are capable of being.

 

Slot one in this special six-pack is reserved for dependability. If you tell someone they can depend on you, does that mean your commitment to them is as if you made it to yourself? If so, people need only watch you to see how well you take care of yourself. That is as dependable as you are capable of being; so there you go.

 

* Be energetic and ready to fly at a moment’s notice.

 

Slot two is reserved for energy. If you were born tired and haven't rested up yet, you may as well hang it up; but if you are energetic and prepared to give every opportunity your best, you may be ready to join the ardent high-flyers.

 

* Seriously consider what is important to other people.

 

Slot three is set aside for consideration. If you are ready for the give-and-take of living and working with people, you always take their needs and interests, goals and motivations into consideration. You don't reflexively defer to their values and beliefs, want to's and got to's; but you put them into the equation as you set your priorities and make your plans.

 

* Put being honest with yourself as priority No. 1 and consistently apply the principle.

 

Slot four is for honesty. Sure, you are as good as your word; and when you make a commitment, people can take it to the bank, as they say; but this version of honesty isn't for other people. It's for you. Are your motivations as pure as you say they are; are you as committed as you claim; are you as interested in others as you seem; are you being as straight-up and forthcoming as you profess to be? It's a fact you can fool some people all the time and most everyone now and then; but fooling yourself is worse than foolish. It's taking dishonesty to a new and often irreversible low.

 

* Sustain your positive approach every time, with everyone.

 

Slot five is saved for the positive approach. This is not the pasted on smile, glad hand, and Isn't everything wonderful? phoniness some slick types try to pass off as the genuine article, just as it isn't some kind of nonsensical philosophy like, Some good comes out of even the worst experiences. Rather, it's believing there is a way out of the darkest forest and you will find it. It's remembering the good news in your life as you receive the bad. It's hanging in there with yourself and with others when a lesser spirit would hang it up.

 

* Be consistently and genuinely reliable.

 

Slot six finishes up this six-pack. Make a list of people and things you have found to be reliable and then think about what their common ingredient is. Your list depends on your personal experience; but here are a few examples of reliability serving the immediate purpose. Sharp knives cut better than dull ones; cats don't like having their heads held; Mom makes the best raison cake in the universe; if you are running late, something comes up to make you later; and Santa Clause still believes in you even if you stop believing in him. What is the common ingredient? Everything on the list is reliable, the way it is, always that way. The same is true for reliable people. They are not on-again off-again, up-and-down, one way with you and another with other people, erratic and unpredictable. Reliability is indeed their trademark; and an hour with them is as was an hour yesterday and as will be an hour tomorrow.

One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed. -- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

Some people have a short fuse, are highly reactive, and are ready to go to war over anything. At other times, people are tired, frustrated, anxious, stressed, and atypically touchy and contentious. Either way, you conscientiously manage your interactions, emotions, reactions, and behavior in ways that minimize conflict, animosity, and contentiousness.

 

This doesn't mean that you hold back, equivocate, or are reluctant to pursue your point of view, opinion, or expectation. To the contrary, you are always assertive, clear, and forthcoming. The point here is that conflicts and disagreements are managed as negotiations and not as arguments and battles. Confrontation and power games are seldom the best choice for resolving friction points and personality clashes. You have far better and more effective tools at hand and take care to use them instead of resorting to emotionally charged war games.

 

Okay, I didn't mention anything about thinking blue. Click the play button to hear all about why you should Think Blue.