Authentic Men's Group podcast

Awkward and embarrassing things happen, it is all part of the human experience. How we handle these experiences can impact us greatly.

1. When you are sitting on the toilet at public restroom and you see a stranger through the crack in the door.
2. When you have someone at your house and they will not leave.
3. When there is confusion between a hug and a handshake. (A hugshake)
4. When you meet someone at the grocery store and should know their name but don't
5. When people you don't really know sing happy birthday to you.
6. When you say "You too" after someone says,"Have a good vacation" and you thought they were going to say, "Have a good day
7. When you have said "What" two times already and still have no idea what the person is saying.
8. When you go to a party and the only person you know goes to the bathroom for what seems like forever.
9. When you are taking your dog for a quick walk and your retired neighbor stops you for a chat.

Being human is awkward but we can get good at it.

Just watch a toddler learning to walk. They make a lot of mistakes, take a lot of tumbles, get some bruises but as they practice and learn from their awkwardness they eventually learn to walk and run and skateboard and ski and surfboard and ride a bike and do all manner of things that overcome the awkwardness.

Life is awkward and is filled with embarrassing moments.

What purpose does embarrassment have?

Guys suck at embarrassment. How do we get better at it?

• Dare we be grateful for our embarrassment?
• Is there such a thing as healthy embarrassment?

Embarrassment on its own isn't a massive problem, so don't fear it: understand it.

1. It invites us to humility and modesty.
2. It's always about others, even if they're not there to see us
3. I want to fit in. Fear of not fitting in. Isolation, not belonging
4. Lone monkey is a dead monkey, helps us be aware of what the tribe norms and needs are.
5. Its a non-verbal way of building trust.
6. People who shoshow their embarrassment are deemed to be trustworthy with the converse also being true; people who try to hide their embarrassment
7. Embarrassment is like Teflon. Nothing sticks then. We all can relate and it evokes compassion and empathy. "I've been there or had a similar experience.

The Progression From Awkward

Awkward > Embarrassment > Choice (V or P)

(V)ulnerability, Authenticity, Acceptance & Expression

It is what it is and I am who I am.

I am good and can make Errors and mistakes

OR

(P)rotection, Inauthenticity, Denial, Shame

Guilt - I am bad and judge myself

Bullying - I want to make someone pay for my embarrassment Narcissists push embarrassment on someone else

Humility is a significant part of our humanity. It is authentic. It accepts our limits.

Humiliation is not accepting our humanity. It truly is inauthentic. It says we shouldn't have limits.

How to Move From Awkward to Authentic Using The Circle of Relationships

Our focus for addressing the awkward is going to be on the inner three circles because it seems that we experience most of our awkward moments around people we don't know or who don't know us very well.

Outer relationships cause awkward moments. Getting together with family you haven't seen

1. Circle #1 - Source Relationship

Know that our value is not in what we do but in the character traits we have. We are not the sum of our tangibles, we are the expression of our intangibles.

We have incredible character traits and innate abilities that are just waiting for expression

Like the toddler we won't get to experience them if we don't take the steps to give them expression. It will mean that we will fall down, … alot!

1. Realize learning is about laughing. If we learn to laugh at ourselves we will learn a lot more in life. Let's not take ourselves so seriously.
2. The Inner Circle Relationships #2 - The Intimate Relationship

When we are moving in the healthy progression from awkward our select few relationships can be so beneficial.

1. People who express healthy embarrassment are more likely to see them as trustworthy. We tend to view it as a "nonverbal apology,"

One of key mantras of AMG is that we are "authentic with everyone, vulnerable with a few"

1. Let sex guide us. Good sex is about turning awkward into the fun and the enjoyable. When we just go with it, intimate expression turns from awkward to adventure, from uneasy to pleasing, from self-conscious to shared ecstasy.

There is something wonderful about moving from the mutually awkward to the mutually enjoyable. When we become authentic and vulnerable and this is the wonderful experience we have.

1. Talk about feelings of embarrassment openly. Again this is the healthy progression from awkward to embarrassment to vulnerability.

This is what can be so connecting with our intimate partner. Emotional vulnerability has a huge part to play in our sexual attachment. As a matter of understanding this is where most women want to have interplay. When a woman feels emotionally connected she will be much more open to physical connection.

1. The Inner Circle Relationships #3 - The Select Few Relationship

This is what connects #3 relationships. There is mutual vulnerability about the things that may not be easy to share with anyone.

This is what we are constantly practicing in weekly AMG meetings. In groups of no more than six men for 90 minutes a week we talk about life's awkward moments. It is in the confidential and trusted presence of these men we give and receive authenticity and vulnerability. We can give and receive acceptance knowing that we are all fellow strugglers in life and relationship.

• Who are your 3-5 people that you practice being awkward with or having healthy embarrassment with

Here are some acknowledgments of vulnerability:

• Vulnerability is neither comfortable nor is it excruciating.
• Vulnerability gives freedom in knowing that the more shame is talked about the less it exists.
• In accepting their imperfection men realize they are perfectly acceptable.
• Being vulnerable allows men to let go of who they think they should be and just be who they really are.
• Vulnerability is the core of shame and rejection but it is also the birthplace of joy and creativity; belonging and love.
• Openness allows a knowing of an ongoing relationship even though the end result is not known.
• Because of vulnerability there can be a request for intimacy without fear of rejection.
• Men are finding the only way to evolve is to be open fully to the way they are.
• Deception and lying allows people to be comfortable but only vulnerability allows for deep connection.
• Vulnerability can allow men to change their world instead of protecting themselves from it.
• When openness is present the heart gets better.
• Being vulnerable means being open for wounding but also open for pleasure. It means being open for hurt but also open for healing. It is not much wonder members of AMG groups are making incredible progress in life, love and intimacy. The courage of vulnerability is assisting such evolution.

Conclusion

The most effective approach to awkward and embarrassing moments is to process them openly in the presence of trusted people. It is vulnerability not protection that sets us free and helps us to enjoy this awkward journey we call life.

Three things we bring to every relationship.

Energy

Time

Resources

Energy

Definition - The strength and vitality required for sustained physical, emotional or mental activity.

Tailor your life to things that express and create passion.

Be aware of obsessions and obligations.

Synergy comes from energy.

Rest is a big part of creating energy.

Ask the question, 'Is this energy producing or energy draining?'

Every yes is a no to something and every no is a yes to something else.

Time

By being intentional with our time we can direct the intensity of our relationships.

When we set boundaries with our time we honor others and ourselves.

Time is a language it is meant to help us with connection. It is not meant to create stress and obligation. (There's never enough time) This is a reflection of our priorities, the amount of time in a day.

Let's talk about our culture's relationship with time:

• Time is money.
• What time is it?
• How much time do we have left?
• Do you have time for this?
• Where did the time go?
• Spending quality time.
• Time Flys.
• Time waits for no one.
• I'm just killing time.

Two words for time in the ancient Greek language

1. Chronos - the kind of time measured by a ticking clock or turning the pages on a calendar. It is the time we use as we try to meet deadlines. We cite it in numbers.
2. Kairos - represents time in the moment that is opportune. It is mystical time that is experienced in festivals and fantasies and cannot be controlled or possessed. giving everything into that moment and receiving everything it has to offer. It is here we are to be truly present, not rushing toward the next thing.

Are you present in your time.

It is important to determine where we want to be effective and where we want to be efficient.

Effective in the inner relationships, efficient in the outer relationships.

Every yes is a no and every no is a yes.

Time Budgeting:

For awareness of where our time is going we encourage people to look at their time like they look at their budget. A couple of key components we can borrow from a healthy budget are:

• Know where our time goes.
• Pay ourselves first.
• What we do with our discretionary time is crucial.
• Invest in long term.

The key is not spending time, it's investing in it. -Stephen Covey-

Everyone has the same amount of time. 1440 minutes every day. And you get another 1440 every day but you have to spend it today.

By being intentional with our time we can direct the intensity of our relationships.

When we set boundaries with our time we honor others and ourselves.

We can serve time which sounds more like a prison sentence or allow time to serve us.

Questions to Ask Self:

1. Do I know where my time is going?
2. How much do I pay myself first with my time every week?
3. How am I spending my discretionary time?
4. Who or what am investing in long term?
5. If I were invest my 1440 minutes today, how would I spend them.

Resources

There are two types of resource, tangible and intangible.

Tangible - Money, cars, houses,

Intangible - Personality traits, gifts, temperaments

There are three categories of resources

1. Status - Give us value in the appraisal of others
2. Stress - Give pressure for ourselves and from others
3. Service - Give us pleasure for ourselves and to others

Explore what it is like to live a life where resources serve to grant pleasure instead of create pressure. Pleasure for self to be shared for the pleasure of others.

Excess turns all gifts into curses

Be present in the purchase. Ask why?

Do my relationships serve my resources or do my resources serve my relationships?

In this podcast we talk about three components of living a could life.

1. Living

2. Loving

3. Leaving

Start by asking yourself these questions:

How could I live?

What is living? Really living? Not just existing but truly living.

What's musing? What's missing?

What does it look like to live out of our imagination, not our history?

What does it look like to live out of our inspiration, not our obligation?

The key is not prioritize our schedule, but to schedule our priorities

Ask yourself what really matters and priorities your life by this.

Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not on what is essential. We live with the emphasis on being efficient rather than understanding what efficiency can be good for and where it is limited.

"What you believe about your life is what you make true about your life." -The mountain is You by Brianna Wiess-

Be Present!

Live in the present not in the regrets of the past

Live in the present not in the worries of the future.

When do you feel most alive?

How could I love?

The six Greek words of love:

1. Agape - The unconditional love, too will good for another. This love sees past behaviors and loves without expectations.

2. Eros - The love that desires and expresses deeper love through sensuality. Connection through vulnerability, naked and unashamed.

3. Philos - The love between equals or brothers. The love that creates and generates loyalty and dedication.

4. Storge - The love and affection in a family, especially between parents and children. It can be also used for connection of a clan, team or organization.

5. Xenia - The love associated with hospitality. It is rooted in generosity and reciprocity.

6. Philautia - The love of oneself or the regard for one's own happiness or advantage. When healthy it is associated with self-compassion, when unhealthy it is self obsession.

The greatest axiom of Christianity is "Love God, Love Self, Love Neighbor as self"

Loving self is the center point, the crux of the matter.

Exercise: Name all of the things you love... Did you name yourself?

Loving is messy. When we love we accept who we are. We are all messy, this is part of it. This is by design and meant to keep us alive and engaged.

Love at the source will pour into the relationships of life.

How could I leave?

Practice leaving by sabbath rest and vacation.

Put whole life into something and then leave it.

If we create paradise here we have to leave it, so we might as well practicing leaving it as we go.

This is leaving a legacy and creating a heritage. It is living a life that outlasts the years lived.

Tr"I"bes - In the middle of the word 'tribe' is the person "I". Not that the tribe revolves around I, but that I make a contribution to the tribe. When we think in term of plural tribes we tip the balance to change the world

The Tamarisk (Tam-U-Risk) Tree in ancient eastern writings was often planted when a covenant agreement was being made. The Tamarisk tree didn't really start to bloom and show maturity until 80 years after it was planted. It would be a reminder to grandchildren of a covenant agreement made three generations before.

Ask yourself, What trees have I planted?

How am I make things better for the people that follow me in the generations to come?

How am I setting the future generations to go further than I did?

Conclusion:

Living

How could I live?

What is living? Not just existing but truly living.

How do we live out of our imagination, not our history?

Am I living out of our inspiration or out obligations?

Loving

How could I love?

How could I love effectively when considering the six Greek words of love?

When I make a list of the things that I love do I consider myself and where am I on the list?

Leaving a Legacy

How could I leave?

How am I practicing leaving by sabbath rest and vacations.

How can I make a contribution to the tribe realizing I am in the middle of that?

How can I plant a tree that my grandkids can enjoy?

Could is the focus word of the Benevolent State or state. This is where a man turns from the mirror and seeing his goodness to looking out the window to see how he can use his goodness to change and transform others.

The word could indicates that someone has the ability to do something.

In this stage we are making the proactive proclamation - "I am goodness. I am value."

"I am love."

Definitions of Benevolence :

Kindness, compassion, consideration, thoughtfulness, altruism, generosity, open-handedness.

It is in this stage of benevolence we are open to being present for others to give help and assistance.

When you hear that you are a good man you can begin to believe it, when you can begin to believe it, you can begin to say it, when you begin to say it, you can begin to act on it and when you begin to act on being a good man you can make good decisions that can change your world and consequently make the world a good place.

Acronym for Could:

Compassionately

Opens

Up

Loving

Direction

Conclusion:

Could becomes the expression of my goodness and makes us a conduit of goodness and love.

Joy is always going to be in community with others. How open we are for feedback is a good indicator of how we operating in goodness.

It is giving without asking for return. It is expression without expectation. Being completely engrossed in our actions and letting go of the results.

It is 'otherish giving' that takes care of self so we can take care of others.

So let's ask ourself, how could we can create change in our sphere of influence every day?

The Second word is "Good"

This word good is a good one isn't it.

Ask the question, "Is it good to be me?"

I think this is what makes good such a foundational descriptor for men's groups. When we say to men "You are a good man" we are actually saying, you are good just the way you are right now and you don't have to hide from that".

In AMG we make it known they are GOOD and will make good decisions from their goodness.

Some definitions of the word "good" are as follows:

1. to be desired or approved-of.

1. having the qualities required for a particular role.

In AMG we have identified "Good" as the stage of maintenance.

Definition of Maintenance: It is the process of observing and preserving someone or something

It is in this stage of maintenance we are open to being exactly as we are. We are accepted for who we are. We acknowledge our goodness in the presence of others.

This is the foundational experience of Authentic Men's Groups. Once a week for 90 minutes I am in a group of men that accept me for who I am. As I am vulnerable and authentic, I am accepted for my goodness.

This is a pivotal place to be. Centered, Calm and Curious. Learn from Should and invite change from my goodness of who or what I really want.

If I have made some bad decisions or have done some bad things I still am affirmed as a good man.

I am in the ranks of "Good Men" who are making choices, some healthy some not so healthy.

It is in a safe environment I can explore my choices and get some non-judgmental feedback.

When I hear that I am a good man I can begin to believe it

When I believe it I can begin to say "I am a good man"

When I begin to say, I Am a good man I begin to act on it.

When I begin to act on being a good man, I make good decisions

There is a proclamation that accompanies this stage of discovery:

In the first stage we said that the word "should" accompanies stage of discovery we ask the question, "Am I good?"

In this second stage we say the word "good" that accompanies the stage of maintenance we are proclaiming, "I am good."

I am valued and worthy of respect!

I am accepted and worthy of grace!

I am loved and worthy of love!

Healthy men make healthy decisions about healthy relationships.

As we move into the third word, I would like to recite another definition of the word good that will help us transition to the third word:

'Good' means a lack of self-centeredness. It means the ability to empathize with other people, to feel compassion for them, and to on occasion put their needs before your own. It means, if necessary, sacrificing your own well-being for the sake of others'.

If this word is given some contemplation, it can take us into the third word of transformation and that is the word "could".

When we talk about transformation we are talking about change, evolution, resurrection, revision, metamorphosis.

To identify these stages we are going to use three words: Should - Discovery, Good - Maintenance and Could - Benevolence

These three words align with the different stages men are in as they participate in small men's groups.

The First word is "Should"

Some definitions of the word should:

1. It is used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions.
2. It is used to indicate what is a probable outcome.

These meanings of the word 'should' indicate there is emphasis on any time but the present. What I should have done or what I should do.

It puts focus on the past or places a focus on the future.

It also has the sense of not being good enough. There is an emphasis on criticism and guilt that accompanies the word should.

This is most often the very struggle that brings men to AMG. Men do not feel good enough because something has gone wrong in life. There is guilt and shame because they should have done something different or there is worry about the future for something they should do different.

In AMG we have identified this part of the process as the stage of discovery.

It is in this stage of discovery we are open to some new direction, open to different ways of doing things, different attitudes about life because the way we have been doing it has not been working.

It is here we can discover the power of change. It is here we discover the way to do something different. It is here we that we begin our transformation.

There is a question that accompanies this stage of discovery:

"Am I good?"

This question is worth exploring.

We can listen to the should to make some change but it is not a change of behavior as much as it is a change of thinking.

To borrow a religious term it is the word 'repent' This is a Greek word metaknoia which means change your mind.

Conclusion:

Be aware of the shoulds. Press into them and discover what area of your life needs attention.

Secrets Reflect Our Beliefs About Ourselves

1. "I must hide myself and what I have a tendency to do in the future."
2. "I must hide myself because of what I did in the past."

Shame and guilt are the core beliefs of what underlies these statements.

Guilt says, "I did something wrong"

Shame says, "I am something wrong"

Both of these core beliefs leave us powerless in the present.

If I flood the present with misgivings about the past and anxiety about the future I won't have any energy, time or resource to be in in the present .

Secrets can create Two Types of Misrepresentations in our lives:

1. Conscious manipulation – portrays something better than what or who I really am.
2. Unconscious self-deception – believes what is false for so long that it becomes the truth.

Self-deception creates the desire to deceive others.

We have many defense mechanisms we use to self-deceive. To the degree in which we self- deceive is the degree in which we can be deceived.

In ancient text there is a saying ," You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free".

4 Reasons Why Keeping Secrets Can Damage A Relationship

1. It creates stress.

Most people struggle to keep secrets from their partner and suffer from guilt when they do.

It makes you tense, as you're always waiting for them to catch you by stumbling across something that will bring your secret to light.

1. It blocks closeness and intimacy

It'll mean you put a defensive barrier up between the two of you and are always wary of discovery. This is likely to have an impact on your closeness and intimacy and chip away at the foundations of your relationship.

1. It produces mistrust.

If you're keeping secrets from them, what's to say they aren't doing the same thing? At least, that's what you'll be thinking.

You might start to wonder what they might be hiding from you, too, which can lead to mistrust and paranoia.

1. It can cause terminal damage.

The more time passes, the harder it becomes to come clean.

If you keep putting off telling your partner a big secret, it'll only get bigger and bigger, until revealing it could do terminal damage to the relationship.

The longer you wait, the harder it is to be honest about it.

After all, if the secret's difficult to hear, it'll be even worse if, on top of that, they discover you've been keeping something from them for an extended period of time.

Questions For Keeping a Secret:

1. Is the person you are keeping the secret from likely to discover it anyway.

If you are just prolonging the outcome be upfront with it.

1. Can I live with the secret?

Is this secret going to cause negative effects to my holistic health?

Someone has said, "We don't have secrets, our secrets have us."

1. Am I rationalizing?

When we rationalize we tell ourselves rational lies.

Don't dilute poison and call it poise.

Am I saying I am protecting someone from the truth when in actuality all am I doing is not acknowledging my shame and guilt openly?

"Lies can be the sturdiest walls that we humans erect within and around ourselves, thereby keeping ourselves trapped and wrapped in a wide range of limitations."

How To Address Secrets To Live in the Freedom of Truthfulness and Authenticity

1. Know yourself. Use tools like the Enneagram or other personality assessments. Know your propensities to self-deceive so you know how to be authentic. Awareness is a big part of your health. Don't keep your true self on the shelf.

This is being honest to yourself and your Higher Power in the #1 circle of the Circle of Relationships

1. Know your close relationships and allow them to really know you.

Have non-judging, gracious close relationships that know you for who you really are.

In order to have such friends be one.

Don't isolate – Do intimate.

Don't disconnect - Do reconnect.

In the presence of close, intimate, accepting relationships we find freedom

Sharing openly brings closure to shame and guilt

This being honest to yourself and others in the #2 and #3 circles in the Circle of Relationships

1. Find safe places where you can share with the confidence of confidentiality.

Use the services of trained professionals and confidantes. Professional counselors or life coaches or pastors.

Find or establish an AMG group where you can be authentic and real.

Get real so you can get what you really want.

This is being honest to yourself in the #4 circles in the Circle of Relationships.

1. Express your authentic self in what you do and how you do it

Let the people you know on the peripheries of your life see your authenticity. Again the axiom of AMG " Be authentic with everyone and vulnerable to a few."

Purchase things to be an expression of your identity not something that you get identity from.

This is being honest to yourself in the outer relationships (#5,6,7) circles of the Circle of Relationships

Conclusion:

How To Address Secrets To Live in the Freedom:

1. Know yourself
2. Know your close relationships and allow them to really know you.
3. Find safe places where you can share with the confidence of confidentiality.
4. Express your authentic self in what you do and how you do it

Questions For Keeping a Secret:

1. Is the person you are keeping the secret from likely to discover it anyway?
2. Can I live with the secret?
3. Am I rationalizing?

Introduction

When I think of the topic of secrets it is an essential focus of Authentic Men's Groups.

One of the axioms of AMG is that 'we have no secret that we have not told someone'.

Another truth we live by is to be 'authentic to everyone and vulnerable (completely open) to a select few'.

It has been stated that "the secret sauce of Authentic Men's Groups is that we have no secrets".

We discuss secrets in AMG in two key ways:

1. In each group we create and value confidentiality which helps to foster vulnerability where secrets can be shared. Whatever is said in an AMG group stays in the group.
2. We bring our secretive and hidden things out into the open in group.

We believe that openly dealing with secrecy is a large contributor to men living in the freedom of authenticity.

Context of AMG

Secrets Guys in group have disclosed in our context of AMG over the years:

- Secrets about being sexually abused, secrets about pornography and affairs

- Secrets about addictions to alcohol and drugs, secrets about cheating on financial records, secret fantasies.

- Secrets about wanting to end life, deep depression and anxiety, and having children that no one knows about.

Dale Larson in a meta analysis done through Santa Clara University that secretive people are more depressive, anxious, sensitive to judgment and vulnerable to illness. A litany of studies now link physical ailments such as headaches, nausea, back pain, hypertension, flu and even cancer to the keeping of secrets.

Secrets appear to give us a shroud of protection but instead end up giving us a cloud of dejection.

The Range of Lies

- White Lies – "O, yeah I read that book" (when I haven't)

- Grave Lies – Lies we will take to the grave (such as shameful abuse and deep hurts)

In the gray area between those two extremes of lying is where we live most of our daily lives, with the

little, supposedly harmless untruths. All lies create the conflicted cast of characters within us, that each express their truth differently with different people.

The 3 P's of Authenticity

Be authentic in:

1. Public life – outer circles of the circle of relationships (Secrets here are necessary)
2. Personal life – the inner relational circle of relationships (Secrets can be good, i.e., Surprises)
3. Private life – the #1 circle of the circle of relationships. (evolving health, spirituality and contemplations)

Authenticity is active if we are the same person in all three. Again the core axiom of AMG fits well here: Be authentic with everyone, vulnerable with a few.

Conclusion:

Do you have any secrets that only you know? Look to address these in a healthy way by sharing with a significant other, best-friend or a counselor or coach.

The Negative Relationships

Error Friends

Examples:

• Wife had an affair with best friend.
• People that have gone through divorce.
• Not being supported by best friend when going through transition with my wife.

These were friends that turned out and then turned on us. They went from close to far (from inner circles #3 and #4 relationships to outer circles #5 and #6 relationships).

I trusted them and they proved themselves unworthy of the trust.

The shared vulnerability was negligible at best, negative at worst.

The Benefit of such Friendships

1. They Helps me understand and Being Real

• If I don't risk something I don't gain anything or anything I do gain I don't appreciate.
• If we never make ourselves vulnerable we will never find love.
• Love is vulnerability.
• Those relationships that have hurt us but have caused us to heal with scars of reminder.

1. They Helps Me Identify the Real Deal

• The mistaken trust became a place where I could recognize faithful trust. I can recognize what real trust is.
• Although our friendship failed it contributed to the understanding of successful relationships.
• It led to corrective connection.
• Mistakes in my life have made major contributions. As a matter of fact, trying things and failing have been the making of the most beneficial and secure things of my life.
• Error friendship have helped me to identify the truth about meaningful relationship.

The Positive Relationships

Era In Life Friends

Examples:

• Friends for different eras of my life.
• Elementary school
• High school
• College
• Business
• Milestones in life

Eternal causes didn't prove to be lasting friendships.

Most of these people if not all I could be in contact with today and we would pick up where we left off, reminisce, and still be united in our spirit but we are not connected in our involvement.

We would have considered ourselves close #4 relationships if not even #3 relationships then. Now we are #6 peripheral relationships.

There is grief in knowing this is happening and will happen.

Era For Life Friends

Examples:

• Select few people that we have shared a big part of our life with.
• They have been there as we have gone through the many transitions of life.
• We have had lasting involvement in the good and bad and everything in between.
• We do pick up where we left off.
• We take the initiative to keep in touch often or from time to time.
• It takes two-way investment of energy, time and resources.

Era Beyond Life Friends

Examples:

• Connecting in spirit. Connecting for eternity whatever that might be.
• We, by being in association, find the better world that others who have lived out truth have left for us.
• We, by being in association, leave the world better than we found it by living out the truth that we have found.
• We realize the life that we live is much longer than the years that we live together.