What does “we need to…” mean to you? For some (my wife) it means that she needs to. And what impact does using the word “need” have on our prediction error?
For centuries, scientists have believed that fight or flight is a reactive phenomenon designed for survival. Recent research indicates that instead of reacting, our fight or flight mode is based on predictions using thousands of memories from past experiences.
Some people believe that knowledge is power, yet how many people know what they are doing isn’t good for them (eating, gambling, drinking etc.) and day after day they continue acting harmfully? Knowledge is only power when one acts on the knowledge.
We each have five scientists that take turns as captains of our emotional ships. Sometimes our ship is a cruise liner, sometimes it’s a battleship, and other times it’s a submarine.
Put one lobster in a bucket and he’ll get out. Put two lobsters in a bucket and no one escapes. When one lobster is about to find freedom, the other lobster will pull him back in.
Addictions come in three flavors: illegal, socially normed, and socially unacceptable. When teaching in the women’s prison system, Dr. Himmer explains that the only difference between the inmates and the guards is that the inmates addictions were illegal and they got caught. Everyone has addictions, not just one. Being able to identify them is the first step in regulating a different behavior.
There are three potential players in the Victim Trap game: Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer. It only takes two players to start. Our story line today is about Marty, her older sister Barbara, and their mother. Marty is tired of family functions where they play the game: “Let’s pretend we are a happy family.”
28 min
About Authentically You With The Himmers
From the publisher's feed
We are each hard wired to connect. When we don’t connect it hurts and when it hurts, too often we medicate in a fashion that brings about more pain. Authentically You is a breath of fresh air and in…
our 3rd year of sharing, we’re just scratching the surface. Instead of focusing on problems, Dr. Richard Himmer and his lovely bride, Cheri, focus on solution-based conversation. Listen to what 37+ years of a happy marriage sounds like. They have no problem with conflict; however, they don’t engage in contention. Conflict is a focus on what is right and is necessary for growth. Contention is a focus on who is right and is the primary source of discord, divorce, bullying, poor management, and dysfunctional relationships. Authentically You is the energy behind discovering happiness, joy, and well-being. When you know who you are, you are free to become your true self. Too many people want happiness without the necessary skills and understanding that support the lifestyle of being happy.