Autism Blueprint Podcast

Welcome to Autism Blueprint Quick Tips; A mini episode where I share a quick nugget of knowledge to help you on your autism journey.

This episode is sponsored by the Autism Blueprint Classroom where you can download free resources, and purchase online courses and videos to help you survive and thrive as an autism parent or professional.

Join the conversation in our private Facebook group: Our Autism Blueprint Private Facebook Page  

• The importance of sleep for your child and for YOU.
• How sensory issues can affect sleep.
• The reason my child wouldn’t lay back down in the middle of the night.
• How your child’s gut plays a role in sleep.

One of the biggest problems I hear about from parents is getting their children to fall asleep and stay asleep. My own son would stay up for days without sleep when he was younger, and that meant that I wasn’t sleeping either. I probably don’t have to go into the importance of sleep for you, the parent, but in case you need a reminder, sleep is necessary for all our bodily functions to run properly; your emotional state,  attention span, moods, and even your immune system, are all affected by the amount of sleep you get- or don’t get. It’s definitely important for your child to get the sleep they need, but I think it’s even more important for you, the parent to get the sleep you need.

There are lots of reasons sleep can be difficult for the average person; and while these are important, I don’t want to dwell on them too long, because the reasons kids with autism have trouble sleeping could be different. But these are worth mentioning, because somethings we can’t see the forest for the autism trees- we spend a great deal of time thinking it’s the autism when it could just be something very simple. 

The amount of screen time your child has before bed, what they’ve eaten or not eaten, and the temperature of the room can all be things that will affect anyone’s sleep- Let’s remember that melatonin, which is a hormone made by your body- affects our ability to sleep. Our bodies are designed so that when it gets dark outside, our eyes notice and send a message to the body to release melatonin. This in turn makes us sleepy. Which is why fixating your eyes on a screen- computer, tv or brightly lit tablet- can affect our body’s natural response to want to sleep. I find it helpful to stop screens about two hours before bed and instead have a different activity such as reading, or listening to soft music. It’s also helpful to have a bedtime routine, where your child will begin getting themselves ready for sleep- epsom salt baths, soft pajamas, choosing books to read together and teeth brushing are just a few activities they can include in their routine. I also recommend you create a checklist of these steps so they can rely on them and so they will be the same each night. Eventually, you’re helping the brain understand that when the body engages in these activities, your brain is settling down to sleep. 

While it’s ideal to get our kids to sleep in their own beds, without us, it’s often very difficult for our kids on the spectrum. So, there is absolutely no judgement here if you lie own next to your child to help them sleep, or if they even sleep with you. The key is to really think about what makes more sense for you, the parent- there was a time when it was more important for me and my son to get a full 8 hours of sleep so I could work and he could get up for school in the morning, rather than teaching my child to be self-sufficient in his sleep habits. So for several years I would lie next to him so he could settle down, and when he was asleep, I would sneak out of his room and go to my own bed. Often I would be so exhausted I would fall asleep next to him and not bother to get up. If you’re doing this, please don’t let a doctor, behaviorist or anyone else shame you about it. You need to do what you feel is best for you. Now, there came a time when I got tired of this, and made it a point to help my son fall asleep on his own. But this will ebb and flow for us based on how he feels. Ben has some autoimmune and digestive issues which flare up at times, making it even more difficult to get his body to regulate when he needs it to. So this brings me to my next suggestion, which is to give you child the benefit of the doubt.

Remember that your child is not purposely trying to make your life miserable. And while kids often want to stay up for fear they might be missing out on something, if you can make a bedtime routine that is enjoyable, and make sleep a natural part of the rhythm of life rather than something that you punish your child for then they don’t do it correctly, you’ll have a better outcome. Punishing a child for not eating or sleeping is not recommended as far as I’m, concerned because if they aren’t doing it, there is a reason, and your job as the parent is to get to the bottom of that reason. If you’re able to ask your child about why they aren’t sleeping, and really listen to what they have to say, you can come up with some solutions together. For example, my son is very limited in his verbal expression but I am able to ask if he want the bathroom light on or off, and he is able to tell me. And his preference can change from night to night. It’s a good idea to go through the senses and address each one- our children’s sensory issues can often make it difficult for them to settle down. Some like pajamas, and others can’t tolerate clothes when they sleep. If your child is a bed wetter, the diaper or pulp could be a distraction from sleep. If you have an OT ask about brushing therapies and other deep pressure exercises that can help the body settle down before bed. This is also where weighted blankets come in. Some kids love them and others, not so much. Because it was difficult for my son to express his needs or even sometimes anticipate them, I would often give him a choice of two things “PJ’s or naked?” “two pillows or one?” “just the sheet or fluffy comforter?” Even if your child is non-verbal, they can still be taught to choose between two choices. If they can’t, get your speech therapist to start working on this skill, even if it’s pointing to their preference. 

Next, address the temperature of the room, amount of light and smells. Our kids are super sensitive and can often hear things others cannot. So we found a fan that made a lot of white noise in my son’s room, was a great solution so he wouldn’t hear us still up in our small house. Additionally, he loved having it blow on him as well. Some kids do really well with bed tents. My son didn’t seem to like the bed tent, even thought he loved playing in it during the day- it wasn’t conducive for his sleep. 

Essential oils such as lavender can be effective in helping the body relax. While i’m not an expert in oils, I would caution against using synthetic scents as many of our kids can’t tolerate them. 

The next thing I want you to consider is your child’s biochemistry. The greatest issue my son has that interferes with his sleep is his digestion. When he was younger, he would wake up in the middle of the night and want to stay sitting straight up. he would refuse to lie down. For a while I thought this was defiance, but after speaking with his doctor, she told me that many kids on the spectrum have acid reflux. Once we started medicating for this issue, he started sleeping through the night. We also used two pillows to keep his head elevated to elevate any of the discomfort associated with the condition. And it worked. Additionally he tends to be very gassy, so some gas x or other stomach remedies can often be helpful. I’m not a doctor so before you go giving your child these things, always consult with your doctor first- even if they are over the counter remedies or supplements. If your child is taking an antibiotic or anti fungal, this can cause them to be up at night as this is changing the PH in their guts which in turn affects the entire body. So if your child starts getting up when they never used to, consider what you may be doing differently. 

Sometimes our kids just can’t settle their bodies down no matter how hard they try. In my son, for example, his adrenaline seems to be in the on position at all times and this can resulting anxiety and difficulty resting. So for us, medication was needed, and we had very good results with small amounts of a blood pressure medicine called clonidine. This was a game changer for us, as it allowed him to fall asleep  and stay asleep, which in turn was better for everyone. There are also some great supplements, like GABA, 5HTP, taurine and other amino acids that can help the body feel more relaxed. Magnesium has a calming affect on the body- but there are many different kinds, so please always check with a doctor- particularly a function medicine doctor, who understands how these work in the body- before starting anything. Some supplements can have an even stronger affect than meds. Melatonin is one of those supplements that you want to use with professional guidance as it can mess with other hormones, depending on your child’s age. It also has the effects of making you sleep hard for a short period of time and then feel wide awake a few hours later. Keep in mind that every child is different and will have a number of factors that affects their ability to metabolize meds and supplements, so one size never fits all. 

The last piece of advice I want to leave you with is to remember that whatever you’re going through right now with your child’s sleep, you are not alone. This is a pervasive issue among children with autism, so there are doctors and parents out there who can help. Stay connected to your village and if you don’t have  village, start by connecting with other parents on our private FB group and go from there. Id love to hear about what sleep remedies you’ve tried and what has helped. Click the facebook group link in the show notes to join the conversation. Until next time, have a great week. 

The post How To Help Your Child With Autism Sleep Better | Autism Blueprint Quick Tips | Episode 82 appeared first on Puzzle Peace Counseling.

We’re in the family room this week talking with Nichole Wilson. Single parenting is especially difficult when you’re raising a child on the autism spectrum. Nichole will be sharing how she manages raising her daughter and running a magazine for autism moms.

• Nichole’s personal autism mom story.
• How she balances work and parenting.
• Why building your village is so important.
• What she has learned about choosing men and healthy relationships.
• Why a sense of humor and ability to reframe are so important.
• Her greatest advice for single parents raising a child on the spectrum.

• Join our FREE Monday evening COVID-19 support group HERE
• Join the conversation in our private Facebook group: Our Autism Blueprint Private Facebook Page  
• Autism Moms Are Beautiful Magazine 
• AMAB Facebook Page
• AMAB Group Page 
• Nichole’s Facebook Page 
• AMAB on Instagram: autism_moms_are_beautiful
• Publications:
  • Song: Autism Moms Rock 
  • YouTube Video of Autism Moms Rock 
  • Book: Autism Relationships Matter *
  • Book: Made To Overcome: Single Parenting Edition  *

*Disclaimer: although we do receive a small amazon referral commission for each of the mentioned books, we would still recommend them if we didn’t. 

An online platform for videos, courses and resources for autism parents and professionals. 

 Listen to this episode:

The post Autism and Single Parenting | A conversation with Nichole Wilson | ABP Episode 81 appeared first on Puzzle Peace Counseling.

My guest this week is Licensed Professional Counseling Associate, Tosha Rollins. Parenting a child on the autism spectrum is challenging, but especially during the time of COVID-19. We’ll be discussing her recommendations on how to get through it.

• How Tosha became a therapist who specializes in autism.
• How emotional regulation starts with the parents.
• The unique challenges of a late diagnosis (when you child is older)
• How to give our nervous system what it needs in times of crisis.

Tosha is a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate in South Carolina, who specializes in autism. She is the host of the Autism in Action Podcast, and author of Autism Unspoken Until Now. She has two sons on the spectrum, who are 18 and 20 years old.

• Website: www.tosharollins.com  
• See our COVID-19 Facebook Live video & join the conversation in our private Facebook group: Our Autism Blueprint Private Facebook Page  
• Apps: CALM , the gratitude app
• Autism In Action Podcast
• BOOK: Autism Unspoken Until Now

An online platform for videos, courses and resources for autism parents and professionals. 

 Listen to this episode: 

The post Autism Parenting During COIVD-19 | A conversation with Tosha Rollins | ABP Episode 80 appeared first on Puzzle Peace Counseling.

Welcome to Autism Blueprint Quick Tips; A mini episode where I share a quick nugget of knowledge to help you on your autism journey.

This episode is sponsored by the Autism Blueprint Classroom where you can download free resources, and purchase online courses and videos to help you survive and thrive as an autism parent or professional.

Join the conversation in our private Facebook group: Our Autism Blueprint Private Facebook Page  

• How to regulate your body to combat stress.
• Managing your expectations and guilt.
• How to let go of perfectionism.
• Reminders that this time is a learning curve for all of us.

Article:  Advice On Raising Kids During Coronavirus: Be The World’s Okayest Mom

We’ll be meeting via Zoom, Monday evenings, 7pm US Eastern Time  for the next four weeks, starting April 6, 2020. There is no charge, but we will need a head count.

CLICK HERE to sign up

An online platform for videos, courses and resources for autism parents and professionals. 

During this unprecedented time, parents need guidance. But for autism parents, this quarantine stuff is particularly stressful due to our kids’ extenuating needs. Their desire for routine and structure, resistance to change, sensory needs, and for many- inability to adequately express their needs can make for some very challenging days. So there are some words of wisdom I’ve gathered both from my own experience over the past few weeks, in working with my clients and also from other mental health professionals. And today I want to share them with you. While most of my episodes focus on parents and professionals, today I want to just speak to the parents and offer what I hope will be a small lifeline.

The very first thing I want to make sure you’re doing, is to lower your expectations of yourself. If you spend any time on social media you may be seeing that many your friends are taking up are hobbies at home, cleaning out closets, redecorating their homes, or writing the great american novel. You get the picture. But for our families, its usually all hand on deck- and it’s difficult if not impossible to get done what we need to let alone take on a new project. So I want you to be aware that you may be silently putting some pressure on yourself and then feeling guilty for not being able to keep up. Let that go! How? By first becoming aware of it, and then deciding it’s not serving you. From a purely logical point of view, you really don’t have time to stress about anything else right now. That being said, if you’re anything like me, sometimes a good closet cleaning helps manage your anxiety. If that’s the case, make some time to do it and enjoy it. But because we have so many have to’s, if you don’t want to, that’s totally okay.

Perfectionism is rampant in our society. And there’s just no room for it in a n autism household, especially now. I read an article the other day called Advice during the coronavirus; be the worlds okayest mom. https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/advice-on-raising-kids-during-coronavirus-worlds-okayest-mom-163152537.html?soc_src=yahooapp

It really helped me put life into perspective right now and allowed me to let go of some of the expectations I had of myself. It’s a crazy time when all parents are being asked to become homeschool teachers. And in our houses, some us have had to become special education teachers overnight. We need to realize that this is an unrealistic expectation. Do the best you can. And if that means you don’t do school in the traditional sense, that’s okay. Many of you may realize that homeschooling isn’t as hard as you thought, and you may even be seeing gains in your child that you hadn’t even  imagine. If you think about it, the less our kids need to transition from one space to another with all of the other kids, lights and sounds, the easier life is for them and the better they can learn. For others, you may be seeing your child regress a bit, due to the lack of their familiar programming and school day. Please don’t panic. I’ve been raising a child with autism for 22 years and we’ve seen our share of regression. It’s part of the process. Their trajectory of growth does not follow a straight line moving up the curve; it can be all over the place. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t learning and growing. If you make your goal right now to try and maintain wherever your child is, and get through each day, one at a time, rather than expecting lots of new growth, you’ll be ahead of the game and pleasantly surprised when they come up with a new skill you haven’t seen before.

We keep a lot of tension in our bodies. Actually, we feel all of our emotions in our bodies. But we are often not aware of it. So I want you to checkin with your body from time to time throughout the day. This can be a full body scan, or just a moment to bring your awareness to where you might be holding your stress. Here’s how to do it:

Let’s say you’re watching your kids play in the back yard. Take a moment to bring your awareness to your body- particularly your neck, jaw and shoulders, which is where we tend to hold the most stress. If you neck is tight, roll it around a bit. Lift your shoulders up and then down a few times, and unclench your jaw, removing your tongue from the roof of your mouth and allowing it to lie flat. Then scan your body from the tip of your head down until you get to the tips of your toes, each time you notice tension or an uncomfortable sensation, tighten the muscles around that are and then let it go, breathing out as you do, so for example if I feel my hands are holding tension, ball them into fists, and then stretch then out. Keep in mind that when our bodies are calm, our minds follow. Taking a few deep breaths- in for 4, hold for the count of five and out for six, can decrease your heart rate almost immediately. Also remember that certain activities can help your body to be calm and these will vary depending on your personal preference; swimming, running, walking and physical activity can be a great way to release stress and tension. Yoga and simple stretches can be helpful. Mediation or prayer might be something you gravitate to. Whatever it is, please don’t make up the excuse that you don’t have time. It only takes a few moments of mindfulness to reap the benefits. Think about how many times you use the bathroom in a day. If each time you do, you take a few deep mindful breaths, meditate for one full minute, or even scan your body for tension, that’s better than nothing. The average person pees 4-10 times each day. Do the math and you’re doing pretty well.

We are all going through this corona virus outbreak. I know it’s a bit of a different experience for each of us, but the anxieties and concerns, the fact that our lives are on hold, and that many of us will need to readjust, are all things we have in common. As a therapist, I don’t have many answers. I’m going through it too. But I’m not changing much of my core beliefs in how I help clients, which is to encourage self care, (whatever that looks like for you), feel your feelings, presume your child’s competence and know your limits. Rather than allowing those feelings of helplessness take over, remind yourself that you’re not the only one, and that others are doing this too. And most of us don’t know really how to do this. We’re learning as we go. And it’s going to be the biggest experiment in stress management we’ve ever encountered. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do it.

I’m so painfully aware of my privilege right now. I have a profession that allows me to still serve my clients while maintaining distance and staying safe in my home. We’ve moved our entire operation online and have been fortunate enough to not suffer too much financially, I am aware that this is not the case for many of you. And I’m also aware that that could even change. Nothing is really certain anymore. Many are completely out of work due to the virus. Others have lost their businesses they worked so hard for.  Too many people have loved ones who are sick and who have passed away and they can’t even properly mourn right now. My heart goes out to all of you. And to those parents who are working on the front lines, in hospitals, nursing homes, group homes, grocery stores, to first responders and anyone else I may have forgotten who are still out there working on our behalf, I want to thank you and encourage you to do all you can to stay safe and protected. I know many you are staying away from or isolated from your families in order to keep them safe. This will eventually end even though it might not seem like it. And that’s when you might be able to get the self care you need. Until then, please take care as best you can.

If you’re stuck in the house and in need of connection, we’re offering a free online support group that will have limited space, but you’re more than welcome to join us. Just for autism parents to have space to come together and get some support. We will meet Mondays at 7pm US Eastern time starting next week. So please look in the show notes for a sign up button. It’s free but we need an idea of how many are interested in case we need to create a second group. So check out autism blueprint dot com for all the details.

Stay safe, stay healthy and take care guys. And remember, you’re not alone- there are lots of us.

Music in this episode: Happy Whistling Ukelele by Sea Stock

Disclaimer: The information in this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for help from a licensed mental health professional. 

The post Maintaining Your Sanity As An Autism Parent During Quarantine | Autism Blueprint Quick Tips | ABP 79 appeared first on Puzzle Peace Counseling.

My guest this week is social skills expert, Laura Crowley. Social skills is a struggle for most kids on the autism spectrum as well as many children with ADHD. It’s also the topic of the most common questions I receive from parents: ‘What can I do to help my child learn social skills?’

Today we will be unpacking this very complex question.

What social skills are and where we often get it wrong.

The main differences in the social struggles of girls and boys on the autism spectrum.

How emotions and social skills are related.

What skills are involved in the art of conversation.

How social skills differ from manners, and why the difference is crucial.

Laura has over 20 years experience working with children and adolescents on the Autism Spectrum. She is the author of the Mission Rescue Kloog social skills for autism app trilogy and has run connect autism consultancy for the past 5 years. Laura has lectured in University College Cork on the diploma in autism studies since its inception 6 years ago. Lauras passion is social skill development and she firmly believes that each child has the ability to make social connections.

Instagram: @social_connect_model

Facebook: Connect Autism Consultancy

Website: www.connectautismconsultancy.com

An online platform for videos, courses and resources for autism parents and professionals. 

If you have a child whose been recently diagnosed (within the past two years) you know how difficult this time can be. Building Your Foundation: What To Do After Your Child Is Diagnosed with Autism is an online course where Janeen will teach you all the things she wishes she had known when her child was diagnosed.

Join our launch team to be the first to know when it’s ready and receive valuable discounts.

 Listen to this episode: 

The post How To Help Your Child With Social Skills | A Conversation with Laura Crowley | ABP 78 appeared first on Puzzle Peace Counseling.

Welcome to Autism Blueprint Quick Tips; A mini episode where I share a quick nugget of knowledge to help you on your autism journey.

This episode is sponsored by the Autism Blueprint Classroom where you can download free resources, and purchase online courses and videos to help you survive and thrive as an autism parent or professional.

Join the conversation in our private Facebook group: Our Autism Blueprint Private Facebook Page  

Join us for this informative Facebook Live Masterclass as we go into more detail about how to cope during this difficult time. Simply click the graphic below to join our private facebook group, and log in during the meeting time.

Little Puddins Social Story

UM-NSU CARD’s Let’s Talk About The Coronavirus (COVID-19) Whiteboard Social Narrative Video

National Autism Association: COVID 19 resources for families  

An online platform for videos, courses and resources for autism parents and professionals. 

If you have a child whose been recently diagnosed (within the past two years) you know how difficult this time can be. Building Your Foundation: What To Do After Your Child Is Diagnosed with Autism is an online course where Janeen will teach you all the things she wishes she had known when her child was diagnosed.

Join our launch team to be the first to know when it’s ready and receive valuable discounts.

This recent pandemic is certainly stressful for parents, but like most things in life, it’s even more so when you have kids on the autism spectrum. This is due to their need to know what’s coming next, their desire for routine and sameness, and difficulty self regulating. So today I’m going to share with you four ways to help your child cope. I’m also hosting a facebook live masterclass on the same topic with my colleague Katherine Lycke who is a marriage and family therapist. We’ll be diving a bit deeper into the the tips I’ll be sharing today as well as taking your questions.

To join us simply go to autismblueprint.com and click on the link to join our private autism blueprint FB group. And if you’re not able to attend live, it will be recorded and available for you to watch later.

SO lets dive into five things you can do to help your child cope with all the changes that are going on right now:

Check in with your body from time to time- we hold emotions in our bodies so throughout the day, be sure to bring awareness to the part of your body where you may be holding tension; jaw, shoulders and neck are the most common. Take a few moments to stretch, loosen your jaw or drop your shoulders. Talk things out with friends or your spouse – or a therapist- if you’re feeling overly anxious. Many therapists are currently doing online appointments and working with you on cost- there’s actually never been a better time to start counseling. Go for a walk outside when you feel overly anxious or angry at your family members because they’re all on top of each other at home. The self care I regularly talk about is SO important right now.

If you’ve ever been on an airplane when they’re turbulence you know that if you look to the flight attendants, it can help you feel more at ease. If they are calm and going about business as usual, then things are probably okay. You take the questions from them. IN the same way, our kids take their emotional cues from us- they can’t regulate their emotional state if we can’t regulate ours.

This is no time for perfectionism and balance is going to be key. If you don’t want to homeschool you’d children, with all the bells and whistles and lesson plans, then don’t! It’s really okay. They will survive even several months of no school so don’t let the rhetoric of your child losing skills get to you. They will be okay and they will catch up. Keeping them safe and comfortable while this is going on is your main goal. For some kids, school is a comfort and the work will help get their mind off of things. You know your child best so rely on that and follow your instincts.

This is something you’ve heard me talk about before but it bears repeating especially now- just because your child can’t respond appropriately or put together the questions they are wondering about, doesn’t mean they aren’t worried. The kids who we think are not paying attention, or don’t understand, often do, so it’s best to err on the side of caution and explain what’s going on. I’ve heard many stories about parents thinking their kids didn’t have a clue what was going on in the world, only to find out later through either their speech or an alternative means of communication, that they were very aware and angry that their parents hadn’t helped them understand things better. SO be age-appropriate with your child, and provide them with accurate information and encourage them to express their feelings about it.

Kids who have good verbal skills often don’t know what it is they are worried about and sometimes don’t have the executive functioning skills to ask the right questions, so it’s best to explain to them in simple terms what is happening without alarming them. Remember, we need to express seriousness without causing panic. SO your own self regulation is going to come into play here. Our 24 hour news cycles have been really good at showing us worst cases and trying to keep the public informed, but if you have the news on constantly, this is not only going to increase your anxiety, but your children’s as well. Get enough info to stay informed, but stop when it feels like too much. And shield your kiddos from it. The info they receive needs to come from you, the parent….which brings me to the next tip which is…

Places are closed, explain why but that the situation will be temporary- this will last for a few weeks. In the meantime let’s make a list of what we CAN do. Help them focus on what they CAN control, rather than what they can’t. Social stories are a great way to explain this, and I’ll link to a few of those resources in the show notes. There is a lot of good info out there on explaining this to children and with our kids on the spectrum, you can expect that they might ask many more questions and want as much info as possible. Our kids can be very  literal in their interpretation of the world and many will have difficulty understanding something they cannot see. SO this would be a great time to talk about germs and viruses and how just because we can’t see them doesn’t mean they don’t exist. You could even explain how microscopes are used to determine if someone has the virus because it helps the doctor to actually see it.

Keep in mind that you can’t talk your child out of how ever they are feeling, but you can validate their experience and comfort them. Validating might sound like saying something like” you sound very worried about this. Tell me more about what you’re worried about.” Then you can put their minds at ease with a combination of reassuring them that you will keep them safe, and healthy and that all the decisions begin made to close schools and stores and their favorite restaurants are to keep them safe. If they get stuck on why they can’t go to chick oil a because they are used to doing that every Tuesday night, validate their disappointment and make sure they feel heard. Then remind them of why the restaurant seating is closed and what the alternative could be. That might mean going thru the drive thru and doing take out, or it could mean cooking chicken nuggets and French fries together. If nothing else, this will be an opportunity to help them learn flexibility, which can be really challenging for our kids. Above all remind them this situation is temporary and will go back to normal.

Structure helps us feel less out of control when the world around us is unpredictable. This could look like a schedule for the day,  or a planned activity. But please use structure to help your child, not add more pressure to you or them. I see some parents out there planning every moment of every day, out of fear, and this approach is only going to add stress to your day. It’s okay if your kids have more screen time than usual. It’s okay if you ‘re allowing things you don’t usually allow…but try and provide a balance. Maybe bedtimes will be a bit more flexible, and maybe rest is what your kids might need some days. This might sound contrary to many things you’ll hear from educators or other professionals because we’ve been taught in the world of autism that we need to provide direction and teaching moments during every moment of the day. But this is not my philosophy, nor have I found it helpful. Know your kid…and I know you do. So following your instinct based on what you know about your child, will give you the best outcome. This might not be the best time to teach your child a new skill…they are dealing with a whole lot more- the change in routine alone could take them several weeks to adjust to. So be patient.

Well that’s all I have for you today- please consider joining us from our FB live Monday morning March 23rd, 2020, where we will dive more into this topic and take your questions as well. Go to autismblueprint.com for the show notes and a link to join the group. Stay safe and healthy everyone!

Music in this episode: Happy Whistling Ukelele by Sea Stock

Disclaimer: The information in this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for help from a licensed mental health professional. 

The post 4 Ways To Help Your Child With Autism Cope With COVID-19 | Autism Blueprint Quick Tips | ABP 77 appeared first on Puzzle Peace Counseling.

Autism moms, you’re in for a treat! My guest, Ann Bragg, is the creator or Autism Supermoms, a social media maven who provides support, encouragement and information to other autism moms.  With a facebook group of over 4000 and an Instagram following of over 50,000, Ann has a gift for making others feel welcome, empowered and supported.

Why Anne decided to start Autism Supermoms.

Anne’s own autism parenting story with two affected children and how their differences informed her journey.

The most important lesson her children have taught her.

The difference between autism acceptance and awareness.

Anne Bragg | Autism Supermoms

Autism Advocate and founder of “Autism Supermoms,” a magazine page for ASD caregiving families. Former educator (upper primary level; degrees in French & Education), Mom of 5 (ages 12 thru 22). 2 are diagnosed ASD/ADHD – 1 severe ASD/ADHD plus severe intellectual disability (diagnosed at age 3), and, one high functioning autism. 

Anne’s five children

Instagram: @autismsupermoms 

An online platform for videos, courses and resources for autism parents and professionals. 

If you have a child whose been recently diagnosed (within the past two years) you know how difficult this time can be. Building Your Foundation: What To Do After Your Child Is Diagnosed with Autism is an online course where Janeen will teach you all the things she wishes she had known when her child was diagnosed.

Join our launch team to be the first to know when it’s ready and receive valuable discounts.

 Listen to this episode: 

The post How To Be An Autism Supermom | A conversation with Anne Bragg | ABP Episode 76 appeared first on Puzzle Peace Counseling.

Welcome to Autism Blueprint Quick Tips; A mini episode where I share a quick nugget of knowledge to help you on your autism journey.

This episode is sponsored by the Autism Blueprint Classroom where you can download free resources, and purchase online courses and videos to help you survive and thrive as an autism parent or professional.

Join the conversation in our private Facebook group: Our Autism Blueprint Private Facebook Page  

Signing Time Videos:

Multi-pack of Signing Time DVD’s

Signing Time Volume 1: My First Signs

Disclaimer: although we do receive a small referral commission, we would still recommend them if we didn’t. 

An online platform for videos, courses and resources for autism parents and professionals. 

If you have a child whose been recently diagnosed (within the past two years) you know how difficult this time can be. Building Your Foundation: What To Do After Your Child Is Diagnosed with Autism is an online course where Janeen will teach you all the things she wishes she had known when her child was diagnosed.

Join our launch team to be the first to know when it’s ready and receive valuable discounts.

The more people on the autism spectrum I meet, the more I learn about my own biases and assumptions about them. Despite many years of working with families and raising my own autism-affected son, I am amazed at how much remains misunderstood. Perhaps that’s largely due to the nature of autism spectrum: what’s on the outside often doesn’t match what’s on the inside.

I recently met a 10-year-old boy who types on an iPad to communicate. He cautioned his teacher not to listen to his actions, but rather his words. For example, when attending a social gathering, he would walk in circles and make verbalizations that sounded like whining. This led others to assume he was unhappy or didn’t want to be there. He was quick to correct them by typing that this was how he regulated himself in situations he found overstimulating. Once he had found a way to communicate, he wanted to make sure others knew that what his actions seemed to communicate often did not match the way he felt.

This got me thinking: If he feels misunderstood, how many other families are making the same mistakes with their loved ones affected by autism? Here are the top three things I’ve seen people do that those on the spectrum have indicated they do not like:

1.Talk about them as if they aren’t there

First, let me say I am as guilty of this as the next parent. There were years when my son was younger when I assumed he didn’t understand, so I often spoke about him in front of him. I did this with teachers, therapists, family members, and friends. Many of us make assumptions about people based on their responses to us. When a person doesn’t make eye contact and gives no indication they’ve heard you, we may assume they don’t understand or aren’t paying attention. That isn’t necessarily accurate.

This practice is also difficult to break because many kids on the spectrum are always around due to their need for constant supervision. So I’ve started either waiting to have conversations I don’t want my son to hear, or I’ve included him by telling him I want to discuss a certain topic with a teacher or therapist.

For example, telling your child, “Jimmy, Mrs. Jones and I are going to discuss your progress in class and if you’d like to add anything, I want you to let me know however you can. I know you will be listening, so I want to respect that.”

If Jimmy really can’t understand you, you’ve lost nothing. But if he can, you just showed him tremendous respect, which can only benefit your relationship.

2. Assume a lack of response is defiance

Many people with autism spectrum issues have poor motor planning ability. Motor planning is different than motor skills. A person may have excellent motor skills (i.e., ability to grasp and use a pencil correctly) but may not be able to motor plan what they want to write (i.e., their name).

Perhaps the greatest lesson I have learned from my son and from the people I work with in therapy is to never judge their abilities based on what they show me.

So, the child who has been told eight times to get out of the tub just sits there, and the parent gets annoyed at the “defiant behavior.” This was my own experience with my son. When I learned about his poor motor planning, I realized he couldn’t always get his body to do what he wanted it to do. Now, instead of asking him to stand up, I remind him to bend his knees in order to place his body in such a way that he can stand up. A light touch on his knee can also help him figure out where his body is in space.

This was a mind-blowing revelation. I began relating it to other things I knew he could do but, for some reason in that moment, wasn’t able to follow through on.

3. Not giving enough wait time

Whether we’re asking our children a question, wanting them to respond to a request, or checking for understanding, none of us are giving our children enough time to respond. IN fact, we often will wait about 3 seconds on average and then either repeat or rephrase the question. This causes the child to then have to reprocess what was said and can lead to a great deal of frustration. Instead, allow at least 11-12 seconds before trying to determine whether your child has understood before saying anything else. Auditory processing is often affected by autism, and this means they will need more time and patience from you so their brains can catch up. This is a processing issue, NOT an issue of intelligence. Often using pictures, sign language  or written words in conjunction with what you’re saying verbally, can help your child understand better because you’re accessing several modalities at once. When My son was younger, we watched sign language videos called signing time, and I would use a few signs to help his receptive language skills. I also was sure to let him know when I was going to ask a question that required a response, such as, “Ben, I want to ask you a question…” And just the other day, I wrote down several food options for lunch, and handed it to him, reading them to him and telling him “when you’re able to tell me, I’d like to know what you want for lunch.” Then I walked away and about ten minutes later- a whole ten minutes…he called from the other room- “grilled cheese!” This worked much better than studying there waiting and getting annoyed that he wasn’t responding.

4. Underestimate their abilities

Perhaps the greatest lesson I have learned from my son and from the people I work with in therapy is to never judge their abilities based on what they show me. So often, I assumed my son didn’t hear me when I asked a question, due to his lack of response. Giving him the space and patience of more wait time (without asking the question repeatedly) solved this issue. He now responds more easily, and with much less frustration.

I know a 20-year-old woman who spent most of her life unable to communicate her wants and needs effectively. She recently learned how to type on an iPad, and it turns out the “low IQ” people assumed she had isn’t so low after all. She is learning how to share her feelings, thoughts, and even her goals with the people who love her, people who had made assumptions about her based on her output. She is an amazing, talented artist who recently had her paintings featured in a local gallery.

It’s so important that, as therapists, teachers, and parents, we make an effort to understand people with autism spectrum issues from their point of view. One of my favorite quotes, attributed to Albert Einstein, puts it best:

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

I started making this shift with my son by telling him I knew he was smarter than he could convey to me. That was met with a huge hug and a big smile.

5. Stop them from stimming and demand eye contact

Stimming is defined as any activity your child does repetitively; this could include but is not limited to hand flapping, reciting lines from their favorite book or movie, lining up toys, or pacing. many parents and professionals see these as “Autistic behaviors” and want to eliminate them.

But they serve a purpose. Every single time.

So while some behaviors are not socially appropriate for certain situations, if you can allow them to self soothe, do. Be aware of how your own biases might get in the way.

If you’re trying create a neuro-typical child, I want to encourage you to rethink this, it doesn’t mean you don’t want your child to improve their skill sets and move forward, but we need to be able to hold those goals at the same time that we accept they have autism.  And just like any other disability, or neurological difference, expecting your child to behave as if they don’t have autism is not only frustrating for both of you, but unfair to your child.

You wouldn’t ask a blind person to try harder to see, or a deaf individual to listen better. Or a child in  wheelchair to walk stairs. So why do we expect our children with autism to stop stimming and make eye contact as if these things will help them? The contrary tends to be true.

The individuals whom I’ve worked with tell me making eye contact makes it more difficult to listen to what I’m saying, and that swimming help them regulate their emotions. So the remedy needs to be focused on us, the parents and therapists, not on the child. They’re doing the best they can.

Music in this episode: Happy Whistling Ukelele by Sea Stock

Disclaimer: The information in this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for help from a licensed mental health professional. 

The post 5 Things People With Autism Wish You Would Stop Doing | Autism Blueprint Quick Tips | ABP 75 appeared first on Puzzle Peace Counseling.

We’re in the dining room today, chatting with Kim Foster Carlson about how she overcame perfectionism and improved her life. Her book, GOOD ENOUGH: How to Overcome Fear of Failure and Perfectionism to Live Your Best Life, is one of the best one’s I’ve read yet on this topic and has a ton of wisdom for the autism parent. 

How Kim’s son’s diagnosis of autism led her to change her mindset and eventually change her life for the better.

How to embrace setbacks and use them as a tool to perfect your craft and reduce anxiety.

How to juggle life with a high-stress career.

Kim is an award winning journalist who has written a book called “Good Enough-how to overcome fear of failure to live your best life.” She talks about how her son’s diagnosis of autism led her to change her mindset and eventually change her life for the better.

Good Enough-how to overcome fear of failure to live your best life

An online platform for videos, courses and resources for autism parents and professionals. 

If you have a child whose been recently diagnosed (within the past two years) you know how difficult this time can be. Building Your Foundation: What To Do After Your Child Is Diagnosed with Autism is an online course where Janeen will teach you all the things she wishes she had known when her child was diagnosed.

Join our launch team to be the first to know when it’s ready and receive valuable discounts.

 Listen to this episode: 

The post How To Be Good Enough | A conversation with Kim Foster Carlson about perfectionism | ABP 74 appeared first on Puzzle Peace Counseling.

Welcome to Autism Blueprint Quick Tips; A mini episode where I share a quick nugget of knowledge to help you on your autism journey.

This episode is sponsored by the Autism Blueprint Classroom where you can download free resources, and purchase online courses and videos to help you survive and thrive as an autism parent or professional.

Join the conversation in our private Facebook group: Our Autism Blueprint Private Facebook Page  

To find an art therapist in your area: www.arttherapy.org

Here’s a previous episode where I interviewed Kelly DeSousa, the art therapist I mentioned in the episode, along with her business partner, Sarah Beaman. Their practice, Indigo Art Therapy Studio,  is in Jacksonville, Florida.

Here are a few of our favorite kid-friendly, autism-supportive, art supplies:

Disclaimer: although we do receive a small referral commission for each of the following tools, we would still recommend them if we didn’t. 

Sidewalk Chalk

Easy to grip, egg shaped crayons

Honey Sticks, large beeswax crayons

Tempera Paint Sticks

Play-Doh 

Model Magic Clay- air dries

No-spill paint cup set

Finger paints ; Washable non-toxic

Ben with his art therapist, Kelly DeSousa.

Ben, when he first took an interest in art. Age 12.

An online platform for videos, courses and resources for autism parents and professionals. 

If you have a child whose been recently diagnosed (within the past two years) you know how difficult this time can be. Building Your Foundation: What To Do After Your Child Is Diagnosed with Autism is an online course where Janeen will teach you all the things she wishes she had known when her child was diagnosed.

Join our launch team to be the first to know when it’s ready and receive valuable discounts.

As the mother of a son with profound autism, I thought I had been to every therapy there was for kids on the spectrum; speech, occupational, physical, hippotherapy, play therapy, aqua therapy, hyperbaric oxygen, you name it, we had done it. Each of these therapies has helped my son along the way. So when art therapy came into my life, almost by accident, I hadn’t really considered it. Once I started it with my son, after meeting a local art therapist named Kelly, who specialized in autism, I was very impressed by the results. Here are a few things I’ve learned from Kelly, about autism:

The American Art Therapy Association (www.arttherapy.org), describes art therapy as a “mental health profession that uses the creative process of art making to improve and enhance the physical, mental and emotional well-being of individuals of all ages.” And that’s exactly what it is. Not all art therapists are willing or knowledgeable enough to work with kids on the spectrum. But those who are can use art directives to help kids work toward almost any goal. In art therapy, there’s less concern with a final product and more focus on the process or experience the person has during the therapy session.

It has been said that “Just because a child can’t speak, doesn’t mean they don’t have anything to say.”  Through art therapy, my son has been able to express himself much more than ever.  Joy, anger and even loneliness have been a few of the feelings he wasn’t able to previously articulate.  There have been a few special moments when he has revealed things to his therapist without using verbal language, because he felt safe and accepted just as he is.

Therapy is effective in teaching children what to do with scary, larger-than-life emotions. But for kids with ASD this is an even bigger challenge since many of them have sensory integration difficulties.  Sounds are often experienced louder, their sense of touch can be over or under sensitive, and their ability to move their body in space can be altered.  Through art, instead of banging his head when he gets upset, my son can now squeeze some play-doh.  When he experiences strange sensations, he can create in a sand tray or play in water to help his body adjust.  And when the light in the art therapy room is too much, his therapist dims lights and they have “glow time” with a special board that lights up and art can be created on top of it.

In the world of ASD, a great deal of emphasis placed on the end result; Our kids’ schedules are filled with goals, objectives, data, behavior plans, IEPs, and medication logs.  These things certainly have their time and place, but it’s important to balance measurable goals with a respect for the therapeutic process: The moments of engagement en route to the goal can be the most poignant and impactful times with our children. Amazing things happen when they are simply being loved and appreciated for who they are and what they CAN do. I know too well the desire for a hang-on-the-fridge-worthy masterpiece. But my art therapist places more value on the time spent together instead of the finished product.  She stays with her ASD clients through the art-making process, with a more important goal: Allowing them the freedom to be themselves.

Our kids relish it when we can just share the same space with them.  On a daily basis children on the spectrum are told what to do and how to do it.  There are picture schedules, visual reminders and apps that provide reminders of the great-and-powerful “structure”.  Structure is often necessary for our kids, but art provides the gift of “un-structured structure”.  My son loves being able to choose markers or paints, big paper or little paper, making a masterpiece or making a mess. Art therapy is one of the few times he is asked, “What would YOU like to do with these materials?”  The therapist’s job is simply to encourage, guide, and be “present”.  How am I certain that my son, who struggles to chain enough words together to make a simple sentence, appreciates this? Because when he’s working in a session, and his art therapist says, “You have a lot to say today, and I just want you to know I’m listening,” he puts down his brush, gazes into her eyes and gently strokes her cheek with a knowing smile.  At the end of the day, if we want our kids to communicate with more than just words, we need to be able to listen with more than our ears.

Music in this episode: Happy Whistling Ukelele by Sea Stock

Disclaimer: The information in this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for help from a licensed mental health professional. 

The post Art Therapy For Autism | Autism Blueprint Quick Tips | Episode 73 appeared first on Puzzle Peace Counseling.