YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton

Medical gaslighting is when your experience of your body is denied or dismissed by a medical professional. Neurodivergent people frequently experience this even though providers don't always realize the harm they're doing.

When we talk about neurodivergence, we usually focus on the mind — but what about the body? In this episode of our "Navigating Neurodiverse Love & Life" series, my co-host Mona Kay and I dive into the physical side of neurodivergence that too often gets dismissed, misunderstood, or flat-out ignored by the medical system.

From dysautonomia and migraines to depression as a physiological experience, Mona and I share our own lived experiences with bodies that don't regulate the way they're "supposed to." We discuss the gut-brain connection, pain sensitivity differences across the autism/ADHD spectrum, Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, seasonal affective disorder, hormones, and why so many of us have spent years feeling like we were "making it all up" — only to discover our symptoms were real all along.

I also share the story of a doctor who recently reached out wanting to learn more about his neurodivergent patients, and why that kind of curiosity gives me hope. We talk about medical gaslighting, why even well-meaning physicians miss the signs, and what needs to change in medical training so neurodivergent patients stop falling through the cracks.

Whether you're neurodivergent yourself, love someone who is, or you're a professional working with neurodivergent clients, this conversation is a reminder that validation changes everything.

📧 Send me your questions and stories: [email protected]

🔗 Find me at jodicarlton.com (it's Jodi with an I — but even if you misspell it, you'll find me!)

🔗 Find Mona at neurodiverselove.com

If you're a physician or helping professional who wants to learn more about working with neurodivergent patients, reach out to me about joining the Neurodiverse Peer Professional Network.

Don't forget to like and subscribe!

Additional Resources:

🔗 All Brains Belong: https://allbrainsbelong.org/  

🔗 Clinicians Guide: Everything is Connected to Everything: Improving Healthcare for Autistic & ADHD Adults: https://allbrainsbelong.org/clinician-resources/ 

Chapters:

What happens when two people in a neurodiverse relationship remember the same conversation completely differently?

This week, Mona and I explore the memory and communication disconnects that can put neurodiverse couples in what I call “the boxing ring”—where partners become opponents, each trying to prove who’s right and who’s wrong.

From the partner who remembers every word but misses the meaning to the one who remembers the feeling but not the details, we break down why this happens—and why it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker.

We also talk about executive functioning in daily life, the cereal box story, and important questions every couple should ask before moving in together.

🔔 Subscribe so you don't miss our next episode where we continue the conversation.

📩 Send us your questions: [email protected]

Chapters:

Find us at jodicarlton.com and neurodiverselove.com

Navigating Neurodiverse Life and Love is a casual show about neurodiverse romantic relationships, families, and life as a neurodivergent person or parent, hosted by Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton, two leading voices in the area of neurodiverse life and love.

👩‍💼 About Jodi Carlton, MEd

I'm Jodi Carlton, MEd, a neurodiversity educator, relationship expert, author, and coach with more than 20 years of experience helping individuals, couples, families, and professionals better understand autism, ADHD, and the realities of neurodiverse relationships.

As a late-diagnosed ADHDer, I combine professional expertise with lived experience. My own family includes multiple neurotypes, and after spending nearly two decades in a neurodiverse marriage, I understand both the challenges and the opportunities that can emerge when different minds meet.

My work also explores the important distinction between neurodivergent differences and harmful relationship dynamics, including narcissistic abuse and personality pathology. My goal is not to tell people what to think, but to help them better understand what they are experiencing so they can make informed decisions about their relationships.

On this channel, you'll find episodes of the YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship podcast, interviews with leading experts, educational videos, and practical conversations designed to help you better understand yourself, the people you love, and the misunderstood mind.

Learn more about my new book: The Misunderstood Mind - What We Got WRONG About Autism, ADHD, and Neurodivergence Visit: https://themisunderstoodmind.com

Courses: https://jodicarlton.com/courses  

This week we're getting really personal. We're opening up about our own ADHD brains — the things we've struggled with, the stuff that drove our partners crazy, and the moments that only made sense once we finally understood neurodivergence. If you've ever felt like your brain works differently from everyone else's, or like your partner's special interests leave you feeling invisible, you're not alone. We've been there too.

🔔 Subscribe so you don't miss our next episode where we continue the conversation.

📩 Send us your questions: [email protected]

YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast with Jodi Carlton Season 6 (Navigating Life & Love in Neurodiverse Relationships with co-host Mona Kay) Episode 8

Chapters: 0:00 — When a partner's special interest makes you invisible

Navigating Neurodiverse Life and Love is a casual show about neurodiverse romantic relationships, families, and life as a neurodivergent person or parent, hosted by Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton, two leading voices in the area of neurodiverse life and love.

👩‍💼 About Jodi Carlton, MEd

I'm Jodi Carlton, MEd, a neurodiversity educator, relationship expert, author, and coach with more than 20 years of experience helping individuals, couples, families, and professionals better understand autism, ADHD, and the realities of neurodiverse relationships.

As a late-diagnosed ADHDer, I combine professional expertise with lived experience. My own family includes multiple neurotypes, and after spending nearly two decades in a neurodiverse marriage, I understand both the challenges and the opportunities that can emerge when different minds meet.

My work also explores the important distinction between neurodivergent differences and harmful relationship dynamics, including narcissistic abuse and personality pathology. My goal is not to tell people what to think, but to help them better understand what they are experiencing so they can make informed decisions about their relationships.

On this channel, you'll find episodes of the YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship podcast, interviews with leading experts, educational videos, and practical conversations designed to help you better understand yourself, the people you love, and the misunderstood mind.

Courses: https://jodicarlton.com/courses  

If you're in a neurodiverse relationship — whether you're ADHD, autistic, or both — intimacy can be one of the most complicated things to navigate. In this episode, Mona Kay & I get real about love vs. sex, masking in the bedroom, asexuality, ethical non-monogamy, separate bedrooms, and the hidden pattern that quietly undermines intimacy for neurodiverse couples: fawning.

In this episode, we talk about why so many neurodiverse marriages end up with "zero sex," but also creative solutions that actually work for both partners — this conversation goes places most podcasts won't.

🔔 Subscribe so you don't miss our next episode where we continue the conversation.

📩 Send us your questions: [email protected] 

YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast with Jodi Carlton Season 6 (Navigating Life & Love in Neurodiverse Relationships with co-host Mona Kay)

Episode 7 Chapters:

Find us at jodicarlton.com and www.neurodiverselove.com 

Navigating Neurodiverse Life and Love is a casual show about neurodiverse romantic relationships, families, and life as a neurodivergent person or parent, hosted by Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton, two leading voices in the area of neurodiverse life and love.

👩‍💼 About Jodi Carlton, MEd

I'm Jodi Carlton, MEd, a neurodiversity educator, relationship expert, author, and coach with more than 20 years of experience helping individuals, couples, families, and professionals better understand autism, ADHD, and the realities of neurodiverse relationships.

As a late-diagnosed ADHDer, I combine professional expertise with lived experience. My own family includes multiple neurotypes, and after spending nearly two decades in a neurodiverse marriage, I understand both the challenges and the opportunities that can emerge when different minds meet.

My work also explores the important distinction between neurodivergent differences and harmful relationship dynamics, including narcissistic abuse and personality pathology. My goal is not to tell people what to think, but to help them better understand what they are experiencing so they can make informed decisions about their relationships.

On this channel, you'll find episodes of the YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship podcast, interviews with leading experts, educational videos, and practical conversations designed to help you better understand yourself, the people you love, and the misunderstood mind.

🎧 Listen to the podcast: https://podlink.com/1612135248 

📖 Subscribe to The Misunderstood Mind on Substack: https://inside.themisunderstoodmind.com

📅 Book a consultation: https://jodicarlton.com/private-consultation/

🧠 Explore articles, courses, quizzes & resources: https://jodicarlton.com

👋🏼 Join our Neurodiverse Relationships community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships

⸻

New here?

Subscribe for thoughtful conversations about:

* Autism and ADHD

Whether you are neurodivergent, love someone who is, or work with neurodiverse individuals and couples, you're welcome here.

If you're in a neurodiverse relationship — whether you're ADHD, autistic, or both — intimacy can be one of the most complicated things to navigate. In this episode, Mona Kay & I get real about routines, spontaneity, physical intimacy, and the hidden pattern that quietly undermines intimacy for neurodiverse couples: fawning.

From date night strategies that actually work, to what happens when one partner has learned to tolerate instead of communicate — this conversation goes places most podcasts won't.

🔔 Subscribe so you don't miss our next episode where we continue the conversation.

Chapters: 0:00

Find us at www.jodicarlton.com and www.neurodiverselove.com 

👩‍💼 About Jodi Carlton, MEd

I’m Jodi Carlton, MEd, a neurodiversity educator, relationship expert, author, and coach with more than 20 years of experience helping individuals, couples, families, and professionals better understand autism, ADHD, and the realities of neurodiverse relationships.

As a late-diagnosed ADHDer, I combine professional expertise with lived experience. My own family includes multiple neurotypes, and after spending nearly two decades in a neurodiverse marriage, I understand both the challenges and the opportunities that can emerge when different minds meet.

My work also explores the important distinction between neurodivergent differences and harmful relationship dynamics, including narcissistic abuse and personality pathology. My goal is not to tell people what to think, but to help them better understand what they are experiencing so they can make informed decisions about their relationships.

On this channel, you’ll find episodes of the YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship podcast, interviews with leading experts, educational videos, and practical conversations designed to help you better understand yourself, the people you love, and the misunderstood mind.

📖 Subscribe to The Misunderstood Mind on Substack: https://inside.themisunderstoodmind.com  

📅 Book a consultation: https://jodicarlton.com/private-consultation/  

🧠 Explore articles, courses, quizzes & resources: https://jodicarlton.com  

👋🏼 Join our Neurodiverse Relationships community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships

⸻

New here? Subscribe for thoughtful conversations about:

* Autism and ADHD

* Neurodiverse relationships

* Communication and conflict

* Alexithymia and executive functioning

* Narcissistic abuse and personality pathology

* Boundaries, healing, and healthier relationships

Whether you are neurodivergent, love someone who is, or work with neurodiverse individuals and couples, you’re welcome here.

Are you neurodivergent and trying to navigate dating? Especially after a divorce? We can relate!

In this episode, my co-host, Mona Kay, and I get real about our personal dating experiences after divorce, the patterns we've learned to recognize in neurodiverse partners, and how to spot toxic, narcissistic behavior.

From info dumping on first dates to sensory quirks in the bedroom, we share candid, sometimes funny, always insightful stories that will help you navigate neurodiverse dating with more clarity, compassion — and better boundaries. Be sure to tune in for Episode 7 to catch the second half of our conversation.

Topics covered:

Timestamps:

Find Jodi: jodicarlton.com

Don't forget to like, subscribe, and send us your questions!

👩‍💼 About Jodi Carlton, MEd

I’m Jodi Carlton, MEd, a neurodiversity educator, relationship expert, author, and coach with more than 20 years of experience helping individuals, couples, families, and professionals better understand autism, ADHD, and the realities of neurodiverse relationships.

As a late-diagnosed ADHDer, I combine professional expertise with lived experience. My own family includes multiple neurotypes, and after spending nearly two decades in a neurodiverse marriage, I understand both the challenges and the opportunities that can emerge when different minds meet.

My work also explores the important distinction between neurodivergent differences and harmful relationship dynamics, including narcissistic abuse and personality pathology. My goal is not to tell people what to think, but to help them better understand what they are experiencing so they can make informed decisions about their relationships.

On this channel you’ll find episodes of the YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship podcast, interviews with leading experts, educational videos, and practical conversations designed to help you better understand yourself, the people you love, and the misunderstood mind.

Watch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/0olYTzv_BQ0

📖 Subscribe to The Misunderstood Mind on Substack: https://inside.themisunderstoodmind.com

New here?

Subscribe for thoughtful conversations about:

Is your relationship struggling because of neurodivergence — or because you're just not compatible? In this episode of Navigating Neurodiverse Love and Life, Jodi Carlton and Mona Kay get honest about one of the hardest questions neurodiverse couples face.

Have you ever felt like your emotions were wrong — or like your partner simply couldn't understand why you were upset? You might be experiencing the impact of alexithymia in your neurodiverse relationship.

In this episode of Navigating Neurodiverse Love and Life, Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton open up about their own long marriages to neurodivergent partners — and the years of unintentional hurt that came from not understanding why they felt so misunderstood.

In this episode:

-What alexithymia is and why it's so common in neurodiverse relationships

⏱ Chapters

🔔 Subscribe for new episodes every week

Have you ever felt like your emotions were wrong — or that your partner just couldn't connect with what you were feeling? In this episode, Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton share candidly about their decades-long marriages to neurodivergent partners and the years of confusion, shame, and unintentional hurt that came from not having a name for what was happening.

They break down alexithymia — one of the most overlooked challenges in neurodiverse relationships — along with interoception, emotional flooding, and the communication differences that left both partners feeling unseen. They also share a touching listener comment about what it looks like when understanding finally arrives.

If you've ever wondered why your partner seems to logicalize your emotions, dismiss your feelings, or simply not register your pain — this episode is for you.

Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton introduce their new podcast, “Navigating Neurodiverse Love and Life,” sharing their backgrounds and why they partnered to create a more personal, casual show about neurodiverse romantic relationships, families, and life as a neurodivergent person or parent. Mona, host of the Neurodiverse Love podcast since 2020, describes discovering her marriage was neurodiverse late in a 30-year relationship, her divorce in 2018, and her related projects, including conferences, a docuseries, conversation cards, coaching, and support groups. Jodi shares how understanding neurodivergence began with her 23-year-old daughter’s autism diagnosis, discovering that her own marriage was neurodiverse after 19 years and a divorce, her work coaching neurodiverse couples worldwide, and her upcoming book, The Misunderstood Mind. They invite viewers to send questions to shape future episodes and note the show will be published on both of their podcast platforms and YouTube channels.

00:00 Meet Mona and Jodi

00:35 New Podcast Launch

01:10 Send Questions In

01:28 Why We Teamed Up

02:30 Mona’s Story and Mission

04:55 Jodi’s Journey and New Book

08:37 Show Topics and Healing

11:53 Community and Networks

13:37 Family Patterns and Narcissism

18:47 Bodies Hormones and Health

22:39 Coaching vs Therapy

30:57 Wrap Up and Where to Find Us

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Navigating Neurodiverse Life and Love is a casual show about neurodiverse romantic relationships, families, and life as a neurodivergent person or parent, hosted by Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton, two leading voices in the area of neurodiverse life and love.

jodicarlton.com