Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D.

It has been an honor and a privilege for me to have hosted and co-hosted the Neurodiverse Love podcast since the fall of 2020. I will be forever grateful to my dear friend Olga, who agreed to start this podcast journey with me in the middle of the pandemic, and to all my co-hosts who have partnered with me along the way: Manecia, Greg, Nicole and Bronwyn.

I also want to thank all the amazing guests who gave me an opportunity to ask them the questions so many of us needed the answers to. Each individual, couple, coach, therapist, educator, author, and/or researcher who shared their lived experience and expertise has helped us increase understanding of the strengths, differences and challenges that Neurodiverse couples experience.

I am so grateful that thousands of people listening in more than 70 countries have received information, tools and resources to help them understand they are not alone and there is hope! Whether your relationship continues or ends understanding and acceptance of what can and can’t change can make such a big difference in the healing process.

If you have not had a chance to listen to the 4 episodes of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries on YouTube I hope we will do that today. In addition, I hope you will check out my website at www.neurodiverselove.com for more information about the resources I have available.

Nine years ago, in 2017, I discovered I was in a neurodiverse marriage for 29 years and didn’t know it. Even though my marriage ended in 2018, I made it my mission to help others understand what my ex-husband and I never knew, and the work I am doing through Neurodiverse Love became my mission.

This is my last episode of the Neurodiverse Love podcast and I hope the information I share will be helpful to a lot of you, including my thoughts about:

• ​Communication preferences
• ​Emotional needs
• ​Sensory differences
• ​Social battery
• ​Physical intimacy
• ​Employment
• ​Processing speeds
• ​Special interests
• ​Transition time
• ​Perpetual vs solvable problems

I want everyone who listens to this podcast, the docuseries or accesses any of the work I do to know that you’re not alone! There are SO many more resources available then when I first discovered I was in a neurodiverse marriage in 2017.

I am also very excited to share with all of you that I will be cohosting a new podcast with my friend and colleague Jodi Carlton and it is called “Navigating Neurodiverse Love & Life” . Our first episode was published on May 26, 2026 and you can watch it on Jodi’s YouTube channel at the link below:

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7pKfGin5gbYIPJcQ0fAkxLO&si=hCAxYXD3fkjxg7Mh

I also want to thank all of you for listening to the podcast and for reaching out to share your lived experiences and your suggestions for topics to address on the podcast. I am hopeful that the next phase of my work will continue to have a positive impact on neurodiverse couples and individual partners and that we will all continue to learn about ourselves and our partners and create lives that are filled with peace, joy, love, and purpose.❤️🙏

This wonderful conversation is one of the amazing panel discussions from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference.

The panelists are:

- Daniel Dashnaw ([email protected] or danieldashnawcouplestherapy.com)

- Jill Corvelli ([email protected] or ndpartnersinstitute.com)

- Barbara Grant (bg-hc.com)

- Jessie Mahoney ([email protected] or pauseandpresence.com)

The topics discussed include the following:

- What do therapists and coaches working with Neurodiverse couples need to know?

- Differentiated dialogue

- Nervous system regulation

- Understanding and Working on rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD).

- How to motivate a partner to begin individual or couples therapy.

- The importance and value of a curiosity mindset.

- Setting boundaries using B.I.F.F. communication (brief, informative, friendly, but firm).

- Communicate what you’re saying yes to, not just what you don’t want.

- Both partners share the responsibility for the “air space” in the relationship.

- Paragraphing

- What would love/respect do?

- Lean into hope and decide what your intention is in the relationship.

- Understanding that your nervous system may need some care and recovery.

If you would like to get unlimited access to all the video recordings from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference please click here and use code Podcast50 to get $50 off the price of the conference videos.

When you buy access to the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference videos you will also receive a code to get 3 FREE bonuses: unlimited access to the videos from the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference sessions, the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook.

The four part Neurodiverse Love Docuseries shows how 4 neurodiverse couples navigate different communication styles, emotional needs, sensory and physical intimacy differences, and employment and special interests. In addition, three therapists/coaches who work with neurodiverse couples share strategies, tools and insights that can help neurodiverse couples navigate their strengths, challenges and differences. Check out the first 2 episodes here: https://www.neurodiverselove.com/the-documentary

————————————————————————-

During this episode relationship therapist and coach Karen Doherty shares how she has been helping neurodiverse couples better understand each other for more than two decades.

During this conversation, Karen specifically addresses the challenges Neurodiverse couples have with communication, emotional regulation, couple equality/fit and intimacy and empathy issues.

Karen is based in the UK and her new Netflix series called “Blue Therapy” aired on March 4, 2026.

You can learn more about the services Karen offers here.

The intro and first two episodes of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries are available here. The first episode addresses communication differences and the second episode focuses on emotional reciprocity.

Through this four part series, you will meet four Neurodiverse couples who share some of their lived experiences, lessons learned and the strengths, challenges and differences they’ve had in their marriages. None of the couples knew they were in a mixed neurotype relationship when they married and each shares some of the experiences that have led to more connection, understanding and acceptance of each other’s differences.

In addition, you will hear from three coaches/therapists who work with Neurodiverse couples. They share their perspective on why challenges may be occurring and also provide strategies and tools for increasing connection.

To contribute to this very important project or watch the intro to the couples and therapists/coaches and the first two episodes click here.

—————————————————————————-

During this episode, Sarah Hendrickx talks about the new book that she co-authored with her daughter Jess. The book is titled “Could I Really Be Autistic? Your First Steps to Self Discovery”.

The topics addressed include the following:

• ​Unpacking communication, emotions, and common misconceptions of adult autism.
• ​Exploring physical and mental health conditions linked to Autism and ADHD.
• ​How the pandemic and past rules shaped ND diagnoses.
• ​Assessment process and value of self discovery.
• ​Building self awareness and mutual support in ND relationships.

You can learn more about the assessments available with Sarah’s daughter, Jess Hendrickx here.

This episode is a very informative panel discussion from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference. The following individuals participated in this conversation and I hope you find the information they shared helpful.

- Stephanie Holmes (www.holmsasr.com)

- Grace Malonai (www.Therathrive.com)

- Jodi Carlton (www.Jodicarlton.com)

- Dan Jones (www.Theaspieworld.com)

- Laura Schreiner (www.Laurasnc.com)

Trigger warning: the topic of abuse is discussed during this presentation, so if this is triggering please skip this episode.

The panelists address so many important topics that neurodivergent individuals and Neurodiverse couples may be interested in exploring, including:

• ​Demand avoidance
• ​Rejection sensitivity dysphoria
• ​Impostor syndrome
• ​The impact of different religious beliefs in ND relationships
• ​Forgiveness, even when behaviors may still be occurring or learning new ways of functioning together?
• ​Calling out uncomfortable behaviors and/or making accommodations
• ​Self awareness vs masking
• ​Using dysregulation as a weapon
• ​The importance of reciprocity in a healthy relationship
• ​Struggling with Theory of Mind.
• ​Using the yes/and approach.

If you haven’t had a chance to watch the first two episodes of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries I hope you will check them out today. Episode 1 addresses Communication and Episode 2 addresses Emotional Reciprocity.

if you are interested in getting lifetime access to all the video presentations from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference click here for more information.

Dr. Margaret Cochran is a clinical social worker and life coach, who helps high-achieving women break patterns involving narcissistic bosses, family dynamics, or draining relationships. With over 25 years of experience, she empowers clients to find clarity, set boundaries, and create lasting change.

During this episode, Dr. Cochran shares valuable information about developing intimacy skills. In addition, she addresses the following:

• ​Discarding shoulds and coulds.
• ​ Cultivating gratitude.
• ​ Setting boundaries and recognizing toxic relationships.
• ​ Mastering self-regulation.
• ​ Understanding your partners unique communication style.
• ​ Fostering autonomy and bridging different perspectives.
• ​ Reducing political white noise.
• Finding joy in your ND relationship.

You can learn about the services Dr. Cochran offers here.

The first two episode s of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries are now available. Through this four part series, you will meet four Neurodiverse couples who share some of their lived experiences, lessons learned and the strengths, challenges and differences they’ve had in their marriages. None of the couples knew they were in a mixed neurotype relationship when they married and each shares some of the experiences that have led to more connection, understanding and acceptance of each other’s differences.

In addition, you will hear from three coaches/therapists who work with Neurodiverse couples. They share their perspective on why challenges may be occurring and also provide strategies and tools for increasing connection.

Watch the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries on YouTube.

—————————————————————————

During this podcast episode Dr. Jesse Mahoney shares what inspired her TEDx talk, “What Would Love Do?” and how that question changed her neurodiverse relationship and her work.

Jessie and her husband Mark are one of the four ND couples featured in the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries and she shares what she hopes the Docuseries will offer.

In addition she shares why neurodivergence can go unrecognized for so long — even in medical families?

She also discusses what she means by solving human problems without the human element.

Jessie also explains what she means by the phrase “approach determines landing” and also shares how nervous systems shape communication, conflict, and connection?

You can learn more about Dr. Mahoney’s work here.

The first episode of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries was released on February 14, 2026. Through this four part series, you will meet four Neurodiverse couples who share some of their lived experiences, lessons learned and the strengths, challenges and differences they’ve had in their marriages. None of the couples knew they were in a mixed neurotype relationship when they married and each shares some of the experiences that have led to more connection, understanding and acceptance of each other’s differences.

In addition, you will hear from three coaches/therapists who work with Neurodiverse couples. They share their perspective on why challenges may be occurring and also provide strategies and tools for increasing connection.

Watch the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries on YouTube.

—————————————————————————-

Luis Mojica is a Somatic Educator, certified in Holistic Nutrition, Somatic Experiencing, and Life Coaching. With years of experience working at the intersection of trauma and healing, Luis has become a sought after teacher and speaker in his field. He reaches thousands of students annually through his online courses and webinars, and hosts the Holistic Life Navigation Podcast. You can learn more about his forthcoming book —“Food Therapy: Conscious Eating to Navigate Anxiety, Stress, and Trauma (publishing April 28, 2026 with Hay House)" at the link below:

https://www.holisticlifenavigation.com/the-book

You can also learn about the other resources Luis has available at www.holisticlifenavigation.com or you can follow him on Instagram @holistic.life.navigation

During this episode Luis shares so much valuable information about the impact of food on our bodies and brains. He also shares about his ADHD diagnosis and his journey and his path to somatic discovery. Luis also provides important information about the following topics:

-Unpacking the neurodivergent brain gut connection.

- How food choices transform your relationships and mood.

- Brain and gut inflammation

- Microbiome synthesizes your neurotransmitters.

- Foods that impact dopamine.

- The impact of stimulants.

- Food’s ability to mitigate stress. Stimulants, depressors and balancers.

- Somatic eating: feeling the impact of foodon your body.

- How diet creates space for trauma healing.

- Co-regulation with food.

The first episode of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries was released on February 14, 2026. Through this four part series, you will meet four Neurodiverse couples who share some of their lived experiences, lessons learned and the strengths, challenges and differences they’ve had in their marriages. None of the couples knew they were in a mixed neurotype relationship when they married and each shares some of the experiences that have led to more connection, understanding and acceptance of each other’s differences.

In addition, you will hear from three coaches/therapists who work with Neurodiverse couples. They share their perspective on why challenges may be occurring and also provide strategies and tools for increasing connection.

To contribute to this very important project or watch the first episode click here.

—————————————————————————-

During this episode with Sarah Swenson you will have an opportunity to listen to another wonderful session from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference.

Sarah shares her expertise working with neurodiverse couples and discusses some of the issues that many couples may be dealing with and need some guidance on. The topics addressed include:

- Misinterpreting each other‘s intent

- How differences in emotional intensity can contribute to arguments for neurodiverse couples

- Challenges with alexithymia and interoception

- How unspoken expectations and assumptions can bring about misunderstandings

- How timing can impact your conversations and the importance of transition time

- The impact of different processing speeds

- Facial expressions may not match thinking

- Bean theory as an energy gauge

- How sensory sensitivity and overload can impact a conversation

You can learn more about Sarah and the services she offers through her website at: TheNeurodiverseCouple.com - About Sarah Swenson LMHC

The first episode of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries was released on February 14, 2026. Through this four part series, you will meet four Neurodiverse couples who share some of their lived experiences, lessons learned and the strengths, challenges and differences they’ve had in their marriages. None of the couples knew they were in a mixed neurotype relationship when they married and each shares some of the experiences that have led to more connection, understanding and acceptance of each other’s differences.

In addition, you will hear from three coaches/therapists who work with Neurodiverse couples. They share their perspective on why challenges may be occurring and also provide strategies and tools for increasing connection.

To contribute to this very important project or to learn more about the docuseries click here.

—————————————————————————-

This is another great presentation from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference. During this session with Grace Myhill, MSW you will learn strategies and tools for better understanding and managing PDA; different emotional reciprocity needs; sensory sensitivities; managing conflict and special interests.

To learn more about Grace and the services she offers you can check out her website.