This ep also available on YouTube

"use more lube:" do what you need to do to make life easier, more comfortable, and more pleasurable for you in the moment.

This goes beyond sensory needs, though that's often where we start.

You may not be sure what you want on the grand scale (or it feels impossible to get there). But being kind to yourself, and meeting your needs moment-to-moment, helps create a communication feedback loop with the body.

Better communication and care for the body makes everything easier.

ep. 8 in an interconnected 10-episode series

Mentioned in episode:

1. Free Workshops registration link
2. Love Your Brain course (& Sep-Oct live round details)

1. Transcript Doc
2. Mattia's Newsletter
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Intuition has been a way to interface with my body, even when the relationship with my body was contentious.

While I won't share the trauma stories that led to the subtitle (Intuition Saved My Life), I have a variety of examples of how unconscious information can surface in a useful way.

ep. 7 in an interconnected 10-episode series

Mentioned in episode:

1. Free Workshops registration link
2. Love Your Brain course (Sep-Oct live round details coming soon)

1. Transcript Doc
2. Mattia's Newsletter
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It often feels easiest to do what's right in front of us. And that's lovely, a lot of the time, and uses our strengths!

And... it starts to feel bad if we're in whack-a-mole mode almost all of the time, and don't have spacious time to comprehend the whole of our experience.

This ties into our sensory needs and leans more into the psychological side of these needs.

Mentioned in episode:

1. Free Workshops registration link
2. Love Your Brain course (Sep-Oct live round details coming soon)

1. Transcript Doc
2. Mattia's Newsletter
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Maria Bowler recently published the book Making Time: A New Vision for Crafting a Life beyond Productivity. It's a relaxing take on doing what you want to do, and feeling okay while doing it.

One of the main themes is being present, and being true to yourself even if you're doing boring stuff you don't want to do. Finding those moments of resonance that turn the entire activity into building self-trust.

If you already read the book and found it resonant even though it doesn't mention AuDHD... that's because Maria is AuDHD and snuck all that good neurodivergent content in!

Connect with Maria:

1. Maria's website, MariaBowler.com
2. Maria's Substack
3. the book Making Time (affiliate link)

1. Transcript Doc
2. Mattia's Newsletter
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Autistic community has taken many approaches to reframing what the diagnostic criteria calls "Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts." There's the double-empathy problem, for example, in which Autistic people have an easier time understanding each other where allistics struggle and vice versa.

Childhood Emotional Neglect, while a relatively new idea from 2012, aligns remarkably with autistic social "deficits." While I'm by no means trying to draw a single causal line, I also wonder in this episode if maybe some of our social difficulties are actually signs of CEN.

Even if our parents were quite well-meaning, we were more likely to experience CEN via a lack of appropriate mirroring of our internal responses, especially if our internal world was especially intense or complex.

This episode covers the effects of CEN primarily. To learn more about examples of how it can develop, or how to address it, you can read the books below, or search for articles about them.

Books mentioned: 

1. Running On Empty
2. Running On Empty No More

Both are affiliate links

1. Transcript Doc
2. Email Newsletter: Nothing Wrong With Us
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is also on YouTube

If our sensory needs are not met, even an otherwise okay day will still feel... off somehow. And then that gap between how we feel and how we think we "should" feel can make it even worse (that one's not a topic in this episode, just a thing that happens).

If our sensory needs ARE met, sometimes even tough circumstances can feel not that bad.

To be clear, this is not about avoiding bad days, which are bound to happen sometimes!

But meeting both our comfort and mental sensory needs makes everything easier. It's a big part of feeling better first.

1. Transcript Doc
2. Email Newsletter: Nothing Wrong With Us
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)
4. How Can I Help (request coaching support)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lessons learned from ~17 years of therapy over the last 20 years. How I'd approach therapy now based on that.

What to look for in therapists, goal-setting in therapy, and reasons to quit your current therapist.

Also connects back to last week's interview with Joe about AuDHD therapy.

Links mentioned:

• Book Decolonizing Therapy (also mentioned last week, affiliate link)
• Blog post on finding a neurodivergent-affirming therapist (with links)

More resources suggested by a community member:

• Dueling Minds, AuDHD Support
• Autistic Girls Network in-person support groups for adults
• ADHD Support Groups in Canada (CADDAC)
• ADDA Virtual Support for ADHD

1. Transcript Doc
2. Email Newsletter: Nothing Wrong With Us
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Joe Sosta is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and late-realized AuDHDer. He shares some of our questions about therapy as an AuDHD adult, and we talk about the ups and downs of therapy and modalities.

Note: "The Discord" mentioned is part of the Like Your Brain (Patreon) community space

This is the first of 7 interconnected episodes

https://www.therapywithjoe.com

https://barnliferecovery.com

1. Transcript Doc
2. Email Newsletter: Nothing Wrong With Us
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Reposting popular episodes June 2025. Back atcha in July with some spicy takes!

Original show notes:

Pasha Marlowe speaks brilliantly about how to navigate trauma, triggers, and sensory needs in relationships as an AuDHD person.

Making it concrete, we both talk about a recent meltdown with our respective partners, and how we navigated those during and after.

This is a deeply un-shaming episode—we still struggle with relational trauma despite all the "work" we've done. It's okay to have a lot of needs in relationships. And we talk about how hard it can be to figure out what those are and communicate them effectively.

If your neurodivergent relationship needs extra support, Pasha is one of the rare practitioners who's ND, trained in family therapy, and works with couples!

Resources mentioned:

1. Pasha's website
2. Neuroqueering podcast and Mattia's guest episode
3. @neuroqueercoach on TikTok
4. @neuroqueercoach on Instagram
5. Neuroqueer Heresies book

Full Transcript here

AuDHD Flourishing Newsletter signup

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In June I'm re-posting the most popular episodes from the show while I take a step back to look at the big picture. Update: the re-thinking has happened and retooling is in process :D

Original show notes:

Meltdowns and shutdowns appear to be a natural release valve for an overwhelmed autistic brain. They feel out of control and can be quite distressing.

While there are ways to push them off, I experience a "point of no return" after which I need some big release or I'm going to feel terrible for days.

Learning your triggers, as well as planning ahead for a safer experience if you do have a meltdown or shutdown can lessen our overall stress and shame.

(One thing I forgot to record in the episode is that for me, shutdowns are almost always low-verbal or I can't speak at all.)

Links:

1. Meltdowns & Shutdowns* https://embrace-autism.com/meltdowns-and-shutdowns/

2. How it feels to have an autistic meltdown and how you can help* https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/38f5MsC2mB5fnmCr5v77zDn/how-it-feels-to-have-an-autistic-meltdown-and-how-you-can-help

3. All About ‘Autism Meltdowns’: Why They Happen and How to Cope https://psychcentral.com/autism/autism-meltdowns

4. Autism Shutdown Vs Meltdown: What's the Difference? https://www.andnextcomesl.com/2022/06/autism-shutdown-vs-meltdown.html

Resources:

1. Email list
2. Episode Transcript

*autistic writer

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