Unshaming AuDHD

In this episode of UnShaming AuDHD, hosts Jes Diverges and Javelin Laurence explore how neurodivergent individuals can avoid burning out while attempting to recover from or prevent AuDHD burnout. They unpack how traditional self-care or recovery practices often turn into rigid expectations that compound exhaustion and prolong recovery. The hosts define AuDHD burnout as a deep mismatch between demands and capacity, contrasting it with standard career burnout and highlighting severe impacts like skill regression. To catch approaching burnout early, Jes and Javelin share personal yellow and red flags, including apathy toward favorite hobbies, difficulty cooking, and heightened irritability. They discuss practical, low-demand strategies such as "no expectation days" and "task tiering" to safely lower life's difficulty volume and dismantle all-or-nothing thinking. Finally, the hosts emphasize radical acceptance, releasing artificial urgency, and honoring one's individual capacity without guilt or shame.

Autistic Burnout Scale: https://www.instagram.com/p/DDPwf42uNwl/

Jes’s AuDHD Allowed & Out Loud program: https://www.jesdiverges.com/allowedandoutloud

Jav’s Coaching For Queer Artists In Alberta, CA: https://www.alchemycoaching.ca/free-coaching-program

Other Links & Resources:

Javelin’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/javelinlaurence

Javelin’s Coaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alchemydivergencecoaching

Javelin's Website: https://www.alchemycoaching.ca/

Jes’s Website: ⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com⁠

Jes’s Email: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Join Jes’s Combo Platter Community: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/jesdiverges

Jes’s Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jesdiverges⁠

Jes’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Jes’s Substack: ⁠https://substack.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Transcript Document: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/UnshamingAuDHDTranscripts⁠

In this two-part episode, Jes and Javelin explore how growing up Catholic and evangelical (respectively) shaped their beliefs, and how they each found their way into witchcraft, tarot, and more expansive, queer-affirming spirituality. They talk about magic as “science we haven’t explained yet,” the power of placebo, talismans, and ritual, and why neurodivergent brains often thrive on phases instead of rigid consistency. Together, they unpack shame, “good vs bad person” thinking, capitalism, and the myth of being fundamentally broken—offering play, silliness, and wholehearted choice as deeply spiritual practices.

Links:

Javelin’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/javelinlaurence

Javelin’s Coaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alchemydivergencecoaching

Javelin's Webside: https://www.alchemydivergencecoaching.com

Jes’s Website: ⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com⁠

Jes’s Email: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Join Jes’s Combo Platter Community: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/jesdiverges

Jes’s Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jesdiverges⁠

Jes’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Jes’s Substack: ⁠https://substack.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Transcript Document: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/UnshamingAuDHDTranscripts⁠

In this two-part episode, Jes and Javelin explore how growing up Catholic and evangelical (respectively) shaped their beliefs, and how they each found their way into witchcraft, tarot, and more expansive, queer-affirming spirituality. They talk about magic as “science we haven’t explained yet,” the power of placebo, talismans, and ritual, and why neurodivergent brains often thrive on phases instead of rigid consistency. Together, they unpack shame, “good vs bad person” thinking, capitalism, and the myth of being fundamentally broken—offering play, silliness, and wholehearted choice as deeply spiritual practices.

Links:

Javelin’s Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/javelinlaurence⁠

Javelin’s Coaching Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/alchemydivergencecoaching⁠

Javelin's Webside: ⁠https://www.alchemydivergencecoaching.com ⁠

Jes’s Website: ⁠⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com⁠⁠

Jes’s Email: ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

Join Jes’s Combo Platter Community: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/jesdiverges⁠

Jes’s Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jesdiverges⁠⁠

Jes’s TikTok: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jesdiverges⁠⁠

Jes’s Substack: ⁠⁠https://substack.com/@jesdiverges⁠⁠

Transcript Document: ⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/UnshamingAuDHDTranscripts⁠⁠

New co-host Javelin Laurence joins Jes to talk about all things hobbies as an autistic ADHDer. They discuss what makes a hobby a hobby, how auDHDers tend to interact with their hobbies (or not), and Javelin shares their three rules for sustainable, long lasting hobby-having.

Links:

Javelin’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/javelinlaurence

Javelin’s Coaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alchemydivergencecoaching

Jes’s Website: ⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com⁠

Jes’s Email: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Join Jes’s Combo Platter Community: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/jesdiverges

Jes’s Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jesdiverges⁠

Jes’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Jes’s Substack: ⁠https://substack.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Transcript Document: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/UnshamingAuDHDTranscripts⁠

In this episode, I dive into what I actually mean when I say “unshaming auDHD.” I discuss how shame is not an emotion, but a lens through which we learn to view ourselves. I also talk about where shame comes from, and how to acknowledge and work with it by developing a counteractive voice called a loving witness.

David Bedrick’s website: www.davidbedrick.com

Other Links & Resources:

Individual Coaching: www.jesdiverges.com/individualcoaching

AuDHD Summer Camp: www.jesdiverges.com/audhdsummercamp

Join The Combo Platter: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/jesdiverges

Jes’s Website: ⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com⁠

Jes’s Email: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Join My Email List: ⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com/newsletter⁠

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jesdiverges⁠

TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Substack: ⁠https://substack.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Transcript Document: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/UnshamingAuDHDTranscripts⁠

In this episode, Jes goes into all the basics that you need to know if you’re just starting to realize that you’re an autistic ADHDer as an adult. They talk about the pros and cons of getting an official diagnosis (yes, there are cons), as well as some steps you can take with a perfectly valid self-diagnosis in order to learn more about your auDHD brain and how to accommodate yourself.

Self-Assessments:

https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/

Neurodivergent Therapist Directories:

https://psychologytoday.com

https://liberatorywellnessnetwork.com

https://neurodivergentpractitioners.org/

https://ndtherapists.com/

My Services:

https://jesdiverges.com/comboplatter

https://jesdiverges.com/audhdsummercamp

https://jesdiverges.com/individualcoaching

Other Links:

Jes’s Website: ⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com⁠

Jes’s Email: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Join My Email List: ⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com/newsletter⁠

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jesdiverges⁠

TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Substack: ⁠https://substack.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Transcript Document: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/UnshamingAuDHDTranscripts⁠

In this solo episode of UnShaming auDHD, host Jes Diverges unpacks the complex world of disability models, offering a nuanced exploration of how society understands neurodivergence. Critically examining the medical, social, and holistic models, Jes challenges deficit-based thinking and shares her preferred holistic approach that recognizes disability as an intersectional experience shaped by biological, psychological, and societal factors. Drawing from personal insights and scholarly research, she advocates for a balanced perspective that celebrates neurodiversity, challenges systemic barriers, and provides meaningful accommodations. This episode, which serves as an introduction to her upcoming book, offers listeners a compassionate and empowering view of disability that goes beyond traditional diagnostic frameworks.

(episode description & transcript generated by otter.ai)

Links & Other Resources:

Book mentioned: Decolonizing Therapy by Dr. Jennifer Mullan

Creator mentioned: Rebecca, 15 Tenets of White Supremacy series & LOTS of other great content: https://patreon.com/whitewomanwhisperer

Models of Disability Article: https://autistictic.com/2020/02/14/the-holistic-model-of-disability/#:~:text=The Holistic Model of Disability recognizes that every disabled person's,and could improve their life.

Autistic vs. Allistic Morals Study (TW for strong deficit language against autists): https://autistictic.com/2020/02/14/the-holistic-model-of-disability/#:~:text=The Holistic Model of Disability recognizes that every disabled person's,and could improve their life.

Join The Combo Platter: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/jesdiverges

Jes’s Website: ⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com⁠

Jes’s Email: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Join My Email List: ⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com/newsletter⁠

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jesdiverges⁠

TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Substack: ⁠https://substack.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Transcript Document: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/UnshamingAuDHDTranscripts⁠

In this episode, Jes sits down with Javelin Laurence to explore the complexities of psychology through a neurodivergent lens. They discuss Javelin's journey of self-discovery, from early fascinations with personality tests to understanding their ADHD and autistic identity. The conversation delves into the limitations of Western psychology, the challenges of misdiagnosis, and the importance of recognizing individual experiences in mental health. Javelin shares insights from their coaching work and personal experiences, offering a critical and compassionate perspective on neurodiversity.

(Episode description & transcript generated by otter.ai)

Links & Resources:

Book Mentioned: Neurotribes by Steve Silberman

Javelin’s Website & Blog: https://www.alchemycoaching.ca

Javelin’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alchemydivergencecoaching

Javelin’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@JavelinLaurence

Other Links & Resources:

Join The Combo Platter: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/jesdiverges

Jes’s Website: ⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com⁠

Jes’s Email: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Join My Email List: ⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com/newsletter⁠

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jesdiverges⁠

TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Substack: ⁠https://substack.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Transcript Document: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/UnshamingAuDHDTranscripts⁠

Hello hello everyone, I have another amazing guest for you all this week. I sat down with my good friend Emme who is a performer, podcaster, writer, artist, comedienne, clown, transwoman, and lesbian - although not necessarily in that order - for a conversation all about clowning, and what it means to make fun of yourself. We also talked about holding the paradox of existing as a queer human in an increasingly scary world, and took a deep dive into IFS therapy and parts work. Basically, it was the most low key and casual conversation ever. We didn’t plan any part of this conversation but it took us to so many interesting places and I can’t wait for y’all to listen to it!

Emme's Links:

Emme’s GoFundMe: bit.ly/emmekay

Emme’s Podcast: Embracing Elephants on Spotify & Apple

Instagram: @EmbracingElephants

Other Links:

AuDHD Summer Camp: ⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com/audhdsummercamp⁠

Jes’s Website: ⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com⁠

Jes’s Email: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Join My Email List: ⁠https://www.jesdiverges.com/newsletter⁠

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jesdiverges⁠

TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Substack: ⁠https://substack.com/@jesdiverges⁠

Transcript Document: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/UnshamingAuDHDTranscripts⁠

In this deeply personal and insightful episode, Jes sits down with their partner of five years to have an open and honest conversation about what it's like to build a strong, healthy relationship as two neurodivergent and traumatized individuals. As an autistic ADHDer herself, and with her partner also being autistic and dyspraxic, they've navigated their fair share of unique challenges and triumphs in their relationship.

From the unconventional beginnings of their love story, to learning to navigate each other's emotional landscapes, to dividing household responsibilities in a way that plays to their respective strengths - Jes and her partner pull back the curtain on the inner workings of their neurodivergent partnership.

Listeners will gain valuable insights on topics like radical acceptance, emotional co-regulation, and the importance of open communication and trust. Jes and her partner also discuss how their past traumas and abusive relationships shaped their current dynamic, and the beauty that can emerge when two people are willing to be vulnerable and meet each other where they're at.

Whether the listener is in a neurodivergent relationship themselves, or simply wants to better understand what that experience can look like, this episode offers a rare, unfiltered glimpse into the realities and rewards of loving someone who thinks a little differently. Jes and her partner share their story and the lessons they've learned along the way.

(description generated by otter.ai)

Links & Resources:

AuDHD Summer Camp:https://www.jesdiverges.com/audhdsummercamp

Jes’s Website:https://www.jesdiverges.com

Jes’s Email:⁠[email protected]⁠

Join My Email List:https://www.jesdiverges.com/newsletter

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/jesdiverges

TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@jesdiverges

Substack:https://substack.com/@jesdiverges

Transcript Document:https://tinyurl.com/UnshamingAuDHDTranscripts