Sometimes I mix up true desires with interests and hyperfocus. But what about the persistent and even lifelong interests? Where do they fit in?

This episode is for anyone who wants to throw their life out the window and start over when in the throes of a new interest ;) You're not broken!

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2. Mattia's Newsletter
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This goes along with the interview about Embodied Exercise. For many people, the other side of that coin is eating. And rates of disordered eating are higher among Autistics, ADHDers (especially women), and trans and gender non-conforming folks.

The episode only briefly touches on ARFID, an eating disorder more likely to affect autistic people for multiple reasons. If you know someone who could be an expert interview on ARFID, please send them my way.

Oh another fun fact I didn't mention... it's possible that the "obesity epidemic" (unscientific nonsense) was literally caused by dieting. Yes, that's correlation, but damn it makes a compelling chart. (from Anti-Diet, book below)

Mentioned in episode:

• Book Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating by Christy Harrison MPH RD*
• ep. 129 Embodied Exercise with Martha Munroe

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*affiliate link

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Most people have one or two core self-care needs that, if they're met, everything else feels easier. This episode is about how to figure out yours... and what to look out for when you hear people preaching about their own!

There's also acknowledgment that your neurodivergent body and brain may process things in different ways, so the following questions may not be that useful for you.

Figuring out your core self-care need or needs (just a jumping-off point!):

1. Thinking back to times in your life when things felt the easiest, what was your life like? Which of your needs were being met fairly well?
2. When life has been a bit easier or better, did you notice any particular ups and downs based on particular needs being met? For example, if you were overall feeling pretty good compared to your baseline, was there anything that particularly threw you off? Or something that could bring you back to that feeling better pretty quickly?
3. Tuning into your body right now, is there anything your body is asking for? This won't necessarily be a core need, it's more a check-in to see what messages your body is already good at giving you.
4. Thinking about the past few days, weeks, or months, are there any messages your body has been consistently giving you? For example, when you've felt tired, does it feel more like you need sleep, or more like you need food, or more like you need to be around another person to recharge? Again, this isn't a perfect metric, just noticing how your body talks to you.
5. Is there any form of self-care that feels like it REALLY fixes a bad day?

Resources mentioned:

1. Takedown of Why We Sleep: https://guzey.com/books/why-we-sleep/
2. Commentary on the above post: https://statmodeling.stat.columbia.edu/2019/11/18/is-matthew-walkers-why-we-sleep-riddled-with-scientific-and-factual-errors/
3. Transcript Doc

And one more link someone sent taking down the book Why We Sleep (I haven’t listened to this episode but the links alone look great): https://open.spotify.com/episode/4r0Vawq8xAfnsnKbYVUNhc?si=n7t-koeuS2GXQ2QnA8j4dQ

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2. Mattia's Newsletter
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Repost of ep 11, originally published Aug 18 2023

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it is what it is

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Martha Munroe, a neurodivergent personal trainer, was noticing patterns in the ways her clients talked about exercise and their bodies. They were often driven by external goals (aesthetics, performance, what others think) vs. the internal experience of movement.

She reframes exercise as a way to explore and express through embodiment. Also, reclaiming exercise (not only movement) by offering gentle structure if desired.

I loved her book, Attuned Exercise!

• Attuned Exercise website
• Martha's Instagram, @attunedexercise
• marthamunroe.com

Also mentioned in episode (book I'm reading):

Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves

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book links are affiliate links

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Parenting as an AuDHDer is challenging and misunderstood. Many parents I speak to are near or in burnout at any given time, especially if they had kids before discovering their neurotype (which is common).

This episode is based not on my experience as a parent, but my experience having spoken and heard from many AuDHD parents, and what I see working for them.

This is in part a follow up to last week's interview with Julie M Green

Mentioned in episode:

• Book Good Inside by Dr Becky Kennedy* (and her Instagram)

1. Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)
2. Mattia's Newsletter
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

*affiliate link

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Julie M. Green is the author of Motherness: A Memoir of Generational Autism, Parenthood, and Radical Acceptance.

She shares about how difficult early parenthood was, how different her autism presents versus her kid's, and navigating school and regulation skills.

The book is a vulnerable look at some of the challenging and lighthearted moments of raising an autistic kid.

1. Her book Motherness: A Memoir of Generational Autism, Parenthood, and Radical Acceptance
2. Website: juliemgreen.ca
3. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliem.green
4. Substack: https://theautisticmom.substack.com/

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*affiliate link

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You deserve to survive this. Please stay.

And if staying out of spite helps you, it has gotten me through some tough times.

My Medium article, "Please Stay, We Need You"

Repost of ep. 75

Crisis Resources:

• USA-based anonymous crisis chat
• International crisis lines
• Various types of crisis resources in about 10 countries

Resources:

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Flow is pleasant and often productive. It may also require some guardrails to be healthy for AuDHDers, especially those of us on the very monotropic side.

It's often easy for us to get into flow and hyperfocus, and to stay in them until they stop feeling pleasant.

Adding in more rest and recovery, including preparatory rest as needed, can really help!

It's also okay to avoid flow states for a period of time, as I am right now for the most part.

• Email [email protected] with application answers, and/or any questions

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Max Alexander is an artist and play worker who has mapped some common shapes of autistic play. He's passionate about neuro-affirming play for all ages.

Play is both a healing tool, and can help prevent some of the effects of trauma (we touch on this lightly, a concept I learned from Linda Thai)

One possible way to apply the play styles is noticing which ones speak to you, and which ones you're already engaging in, then leaning into those.

The ebook is free, and it's a quick and excellent read!

Apologies for the audio quality. Max was using a headset and didn't have an actual microphone, so I did the best I could to clean it up

• Email [email protected] with application answers, and/or any questions

1. Max's book, The Joys and Shapes of Autistic Play
2. Max's Substack, Play Radical

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