Awaken The Rebel

In today's episode I outline what happens when we don't truly resolve conflicts. I got in a conflict with my mom and some weirdness goes down before I finally grab my lady balls (ovaries) and tell her how I really feel. Definitely don't miss the point and judge my mom, if you listen to the whole thing you will see that a lot of it was made up in my head. It's funny, and ridiculous so prepare to laugh, but I also hope you learn from this comedic story that resolving conflict is actually your friend.

In this episode you will hear:

• How holding in your truth negatively impacts you
• How resentment leads to cancer according to research
• How to teach your parents to be courageous in conflicts with you
• How you can be triggered by an unrelated issue if you hold in pain
• How we can misinterpret other people's behavior when we are holding in pain
• How the victim/villain paradigm can often just be in your head
• When you stomach bad behavior for the sake of harmony you are actually just being inauthentic in that relationship

Coaching Questions & Thoughts:

Where in your life are you enduring bad treatment personally or professionally?

Where in your life can you be more honest about how you really feel?

Where in your life are you avoiding a conflict that you know needs to get resolved?

Think about what you need from the person. Do you need an apology? Do you need them to do something that will make it up to you or rebuild rapport? Your needs are important, so honor them.

Quotes:

"When you address conflict by being passive-aggressive, you aren't addressing it at all." Shereen Thor

"When you hold pain in for the sake of harmony, it doesn't serve you." Shereen Thor

"An unresolved pain point will rise up in the form of an overreaction to something unrelated." Shereen Thor

"Misinterpretations are inevitable in communication, so the idea that we can go through life avoiding conflict resolution is unreasonable." Shereen Thor

"Research has proven that resentment leads to cancer." Shereen Thor

"When you avoid resolving conflict you avoid honoring your personal boundaries." Shereen Thor

Resources: www.awakentherebel.com (download the happiness cheat sheet - learn all the science-based tips I learned at Yale!)

Today's episode is all about Conflict. We typically avoid it, but it can be amazing for us if we have the courage to face it. I was born into a world of conflict, and eventually went on to get certified in Conflict Mediation and mediate small and civil claims in court - so I've learned to love this subject. Let me invite you into my world where conflict is actually your friend. It's not the most easy-going friend, nor the most fun friend, but it's a powerful friend who will lead you to where your soul is ultimately meant to go. So, let's go!

In this episode you will hear:

• How people pleasing can cost you happiness and health
• How conflict is actually an opportunity for growth, connection and healing
• 4 different approaches to addressing conflict and which one is healthy
• The positive aspects of conflict, and how they can unlock you living your best life
• Why establishing boundaries can improve your relationships
• How engaging in conflict resolution can help you be truly alive in your life
• How research says that building resentment can lead to disease in the body

Questions:

When I am dishonest with the people in my life about who I truly am and what I truly feel, what does that cost me?

Who is going to stand up for you if you are not going to stand up for yourself?

What does it cost you to not be truly expressed in your life?

Quotes:"We think we are being nice when we avoid conflict, but when someone else wins at your expense it's actually a lose-lose." Shereen Thor

"Through arising as authentic in the relationship the connection is stronger." Shereen Thor

"Relationships based on the pretense of being who they want you to be are not healthy relationships at all. In those relationships we are lying about who we truly are." Shereen Thor

"Be willing to live on the edge, because then you will live a truly alive life." Shereen Thor

"Research has proven that resentment leads to cancer." Shereen Thor

"If you are willing to be brave and face the discomfort of conflict then you will be rewarded personally and professionally." Shereen Thor

"There are 120,000 preventable deaths in America per year due to stress." Shereen Thor

"Now it's your time to treat yourself better than your parents treated you. You are your own parent now. Let's go!" Shereen Thor

Resources: www.awakentherebel.com (download the happiness cheat sheet - learn all the science-based tips I learned at Yale!)

This week's rebel spotlight is Angela Johnson Peters, a longtime community activist, associate director of a social justice learning institute, and one of my clients (who could definitely school me in coaching haha). She dives into what's going on currently with the Black Lives Matter Movement/Protests and how the past feeds into today's moments of injustice and systematic racism. Sharing her own personal story of awakening and pursuing a career with social justice, Angela dives into ways a person can self-educate and how they can lend a hand towards change.

In the episode you will hear:

• About Angela's background and own self-awakening with critical consciousness while at school at Berkeley.
• How Angela left her consulting practice to join Social Justice Learning Institute and what the organization does to create a better future.
• How opportunities are being created for change and that hope can be found during this time of grief. Plus, how to be resilient as traumatizing events and history are revealed.
• History of past and present socio-economic oppression of black Americans in the U.S. and materials for self-education.
• How people within the U.S. and other countries are coming together to protest treatment toward black people and standing in unity with Black Lives Matter Movement.
• What needs to be done in each individual's life in order to be anti-racist and make genuine connections with people in the black community and people of color.
• Next steps: what each person can do to be proactive in making a change - volunteering, voting, education, etc.

Quotes:

"In addition to the grief, and the anger, and the sadness, there is also hope and optimism and feeling like there is real change happening." - Angela Johnson Peters

"The Social Justice Learning Institute is dedicated to the education, health, and wellbeing of youth and communities of color. We do that through training, education, and community mobilization. We empower through education, create thriving communities, and create systems change." - Angela Johnson Peters

"Being in this space, with the Social Justice Learning Institute, has really provided me with not only a community that's dedicated to hearing voice, listening to voice, we're an organization that is led by the voices of young people and community members." - Angela Johnson Peters

"People want to know, people want to do something and I understand people wanting to do something. Because that's what makes us feel alive, so that we're not disconnected or isolated, understanding that we're in this together." - Angela Johnson Peters

"The entire socio-economic position of the United States is based on the backs of black, brown, and native peoples. I can remember when I first became aware of all this history and just...it's so heavy, it's so much. And the more you learn - it's like more, and more, and more. How do you get up in the morning? So that's when resiliency comes in." - Angela Johnson Peters

"It's important to become educated, but the pain and anger is also what fuels the passion to make the change." - Angela Johnson Peters

"Being anti-racist is actively calling out racism and doing something to dismantle white supremacy." - Angela Johnson Peters

"The movements of social change are accelerated because of moments like this [George Floyd's lynching/murder] but there's never been a moment like this because there's never been such a worldwide acknowledgement that Black Lives Matter and we have to do something." - Angela Johnson Peters

"You can't talk about equity and black people achieving, not only their potential but achieving their due, if you don't address the economics." -Angela Johnson Peters

"You can't really address what's going on today without looking at what's gone on for generations" -Shereen

"It's difficult, and people are scared or people don't want to say the wrong thing, but you have to do something. You have to start." -Angela Johnson Peters

Awaken the Rebel Podcast Resources:Are you inspired to take action?

Angela Johnson Peters, Associate Director of Programs & Development Social Justice Learning Institute: https://sjli.org/ Connect with Angela on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/angela.j.peters Get involved and find Angela on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/angelajohnsonpeters

Host, Shereen Thor Get the 7 essential happiness techniques I learned at Yale! Download the Happiness Cheatsheet now! Find Shereen at: www.awakentherebel.com

Shereen asks Christina Dunbar how in the hell we can process what is going on right now with the coronavirus because she is truly confused and overwhelmed like we all are lol. Enjoy.

Today's show is all about graduating from forgiveness to not even paying any mind to BS. What you give energy to grows...so the question is, what are you giving your energy to? The amount of time we spend dwelling or "trying to forgive" can sometimes just be a waste of time and precious energy that may be better used fulfilling your life's purpose. Make room in your mind and heart for the ones that are helping you grow, who have your back and who really get you. This is a lesson I am continuing to learn as I zero in on what truly matters in my life, so thanks or joining me on the ride.

In this episode you will hear:

• How Shereen's personal moment of weakness led to a new way of embracing a famous quote by Einstein.
• Why you need to focus on what you want to grow versus the dwelling on the offense.
• Personal examples from Shereen's family life about hurt feelings and redirecting that energy towards real ROI.

Questions: Where in your life are you allowing energy vampires or energy drains to suck you dry?

Where in your life would you like to be putting more energy?

What do you want to grow in your life that deserves more time and attention that you maybe have been neglecting?

Email me directly at [email protected] or comment on social, because this stuff fascinates me and I want to hear about any ah-ha moments you had during this podcast.

Quotes:"Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore." Albert Einstein

"I'm too fucking old for this shit." Shereen Thor

"Oh, shit, Albert, you just friggin' rocked my world." Shereen Thor

"Let some shit go." Shereen Thor

"Let it roll off your back, because you have a purpose in this life. And your energy matters." Shereen Thor

"What you give energy and attention to will grow." Shereen Thor

Resources: www.awakentherebel.com

This week I want to introduce you to a rebel renaissance woman Dr. Corinne Devin. She is not only a doctor and a naval officer, but she is also Ms. United States! Talk about dynamic! I love it when a woman refuses to be one thing and expresses all sides of herself. She has lived in over 30 countries and does tons of service work mentoring and investing in youth. She lives a life full of adventure, service, discipline and fulfillment. She is beautiful, inspiring & bad ass. She has served our United States Navy in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Listen in and hear how this woman has conquered many worlds and how she did it. This podcast will help you believe that everything is really possible and inspire you to find your compass, draw your map and put on your crown ladies. Hell yeah.

In this episode you will hear:-About Dr. Corinne Devin's inspiring journey from dental school to pageants.

-How to determine what sacrifices you are willing to make to get your ultimate goals.

-How to potentially become a dentist and not be in 300k debt with a little help from the US Navy.

-How coaching can help you build a life you would have never dreamed you could on your own

-Why Dr. Corinne Devin decided to take the daring route of Navy to pageant. Was it a dare? lol

-How creating a family away from home is quite possibly the best way to be an adventurer.

Quotes:

"Everyone that's listening is totally jealous." - Shereen Thor

"My dad was a dentist in the Navy. But if you told me at eight years old that I would be deployed and doing his job, I'd be like, no, you're crazy." - Dr. Corinne Devin

"Only 18% of United States Navy is made up of female officers today." - Dr. Corinne Devin

"It's about making choices, deciding what's important to you, what your dreams are, and what you're willing to do." - Dr. Corinne Devin

"One thing that I would tell them to do is look for a coach. I would look at getting someone who is going to put a mirror in front of them, hold them accountable, make them do things that they maybe just didn't feel like that the confidence to do or the support to do." - Dr. Corinne Devin

"So, I think it's having someone dig deep and having someone that can hold them accountable - because it can't be your family and it can't be your friends. Because, guess what, they all are all selfish they want you for themselves or they want you to do what they want to do. You need someone who's going to be completely separate and who does not have any of those biases." - Dr. Corinne Devin

Resources: Dr. Corinne Devin on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drcorinnedevin/

www.awakentherebel.com (take the quiz – What Drives you?)

This week I have the absolute pleasure of introducing you to Kristin Giese. Holy Poop buckets she is funny! What I was so pleasantly surprised by during this episode was her super sage wisdom and all the chills I got listening to her. I felt like I was in the studio with Brene Brown! Join us as we laugh about the weird and let our freak flags fly. Kristin started her career as a publicist and grew into a talent manager. She hails from the lifestyle space and owns her own business launching products for high profile clients. She most recently wrote her own novel unVerfied. Coming from big brand markets like Oprah, Target, NBC, Ace Hardware, and others Kristin reveals what it's like to be a woman in workplace, dealing with disappointments, and how to hold on to our creative endeavors.

In this episode you will hear:-How to keep yourself and your integrity even when people are letting you down and falling short on their promises.

-About Kristin's journey from talent managing to becoming the the talent.

-About the entrepreneurial spirit that guides us to look for opportunities

-When the time is right to strike.

-Why Kristin chose to write a Rom Com and what led her to the "unexpected" choice.

-Amazing wisdom from Kristin on how family that has become your adversary can inadvertently help you find something important.

-How the journey comes with a lot of no's, and how people don't come through when you think they will, but how the path inevitably becomes clearer and you become wiser.

Quotes: "Success is rising in the fall." - Kristin Giese

"I think people hold themselves back by starting a narrative of all the reasons something can't happen before they even attempt it." - Kristin Giese

"Some of my biggest enemies, for lack of a better term, have taught me and given me my biggest gifts." - Kristin Giese

"The truth is, is some of the people who come at you the hardest to put you down the most are the most afraid that you're going to outgrow them if you move past them because they see your power." - Kristin Giese

"Sometimes people need to make you the bad guy because it benefits their story to give you that narrative. Everyone has an agenda." - Kristin Giese

"You know, now, especially because what I do professionally as a talent manager and producer feels like a gut instinct. It is a gut instinct, it is a reflex, it is an intuition. It comes naturally to me. But what came even easier was writing this book." - Kristin Giese

"There's power in moving." – Kristin Giese

"Don't psych yourself out. Just take a step towards your goal every day and don't give up." -Kristin Giese

Resources: Kristin's Website: https://www.allmoxie.com/

Find Kristin Giese on IG @Allmoxie

www.awakentherebel.com (take the quiz – What Drives you?)

This week we bring back my bestie Christina Dunbar. Please join us as we wax poetic on the philosophies of life in the creative entrepreneur grind. In this episode, we talk shop about our hearts competing desires for goals surrounding art and family and how that can drain us over time if we are not careful. The part of us that wants more vs. choosing to be content with what we currently have. I know this is something a lot of us struggle with so I hope this episode supports you today.

In this episode you will hear:

-How wanting can tempt us to be absent from the present that is happening now.

-How you can water different areas of your life to keep balance in your different roles and talents.

-How to be aware of when you are in survival mode and ignoring the voices that support all the different parts of your heart.

-Why Shereen hosts women's retreats into the woods for 3 days with space to decompress, tech detox, and juice cleanses to help women reconnect with their hearts.

-How "The Red Tent" is a book about how women were honored during their cycle and they were able to take a break.

-How to stop and tune into the present moment and have no demands on you, carving out time and space to just be.

-How carving out space for yourself will nourish you so you don't want to push things away, but you are able to engage fully.

-How Tony Robbins says, "it's not the amount of time you have, it is the amount of energy you have."

-How to find the balance as an entrepreneur and a woman - when to use the energy to push for things to happen, versus stopping and being in the preset.

-The difference between the pushing and chasing energy in the feminine and how knowing the difference can help you find balance.

-About how to tune into how you are feeling and sort out the what might be draining you.

-About how to specifically tune into your emotions with your intuition and your body to test your goals for how they are making feel. And, how this helps to sort out what is something you think should achieve versus a true soul goal.

-How to feel your way into your goals, and to ask your heart and body what you want to experience.

-How body intelligence (gut instinct) and turning inward can help you come to the truth of what you want.

Quotes:"Do you really need more than you have right now?" - Shereen Thor "Get out of the house. Don't just be on the computer all day focusing on this one thing trying to get to the next goal." - Christina Dunbar "Sometimes when you let go of the idea of what to achieve it frees up all of your energy. You feel more abundant because there isn't something in your future that needs all of your resources to maintain." -Shereen Thor "We're not taught how to feel our way into desires and goals." - Christina Dunbar "I'm not saying you gotta love all your life, because life is hard and painful. And there's a lot in the journey. But, really tuning into the heart - yeah, that's really good." - Christina Dunbar "There really is a body intelligence that we have that we are not taught to honor." -Christina Dunbar "I think logic, logic and statistics are helpful. But there's nothing like gut instinct. They did a study on CEOs that went for gut instinct, over fact, over statistics over all these, you know, numbers. And, they did the best in terms of what they brought in money wise." - Christina Dunbar

Resources: Christina Dunbar is a storyteller, writer, director, and facilitator. She is the creator of She Takes The Stage, a program that's produced over 40 one woman shows for women. Christina currently works with women and uses performance tools to help clients captivate from the stage. As an artist, Christina is prepping to tour her one woman show, Dirty Me Divine, which has been shared with sold-out audiences in LA, Boston, and San Francisco. Find her @ christinadunbar.com

Today's episode is all about something that will support you tremendously in making progress. We often see two options in black or white and feel stuck trying to choose between the lesser of two evils. But if you cultivate a Growth Mindset, we can often see solutions that are outside the box and move our lives forward. This episode is about how you can cultivate a growth mindset to experience more mastery in your life.

In this episode you will hear:

• How to have better outcomes and results.
• How you can become stuck in a mindset that no longer serves you.
• About out of the box thinking
• An example from a real coaching session where a client was stuck in black and white thinking and how we moved them forward

Questions: Is there an area of your life right now: where are you stopping yourself from moving forward, because it's kind of bumping up against a certain limiting belief you have? And how could you shift that paradigm to grow?

Quotes:"You either stop, go or grow." Shereen Thor

"When you grow, what you're needing to do is to adopt a new belief, or a new mindset." Shereen Thor

Resources: www.awakentherebel.com (take the quiz – What Kind of Rebel are You?)

Today's show is with my friend and client Richard Reyes who is the Founder of one of my favorite nonprofits - The Plus Me Project. It is a story telling nonprofit that builds self-esteem in young folks by helping them write and share their personal story. Richard Reyes is an inspirational paver of roads less traveled and has set out to do something no one else was doing in schools. In the last six years since he opened the doors to his nonprofit, The Plus Me Project has impacted thousands. He gets the rebel life, the creative life, thinking outside the box, and thinking for yourself in a way that allows you to be you and embrace your unique path. He is a thought leader and a rebel, and I am overjoyed to share him with you today, enjoy.

In this episode you will hear:

-How Richard Reyes came up with his brainchild ThePlusMeProject.org

-About Richards personal story and what inspired him to pave his own way

-How you can get rejected by colleges when you can't articulate your story

-How stories support youth in connecting to themselves and others

-How coaching helps leaders like Richard reach their vision

-About Shereen's story of her launch of Awaken the Rebel and how her vision lines up with Richard's

-Why asking yourself, "What's my story & why am I here?" is so important

-How coaching and therapy are different

-Why coaching is a safe place to work out what's going on in your professional life.

Quotes:

"I just figured I would launch it." -Richard Reyes

"What does your spirit want to do that's illogical and crazy?" -Shereen Thor

"My mom was like, 'Yo, son, like, we love you, but like, you're not gonna reach 10,000 kids."

-Richard Reyes

"The confidence is built in when you know who you are and you're able to own that." - Richard Reyes

"Culture is from the top down, y'all. All day! It does not matter. So, if you are working somewhere that has a toxic ass culture because you have a toxic ass CEO, it's not going to change – leave." Shereen Thor

"Call me judge-y, but it's disgusting." - Shereen Thor

"It [coaching] pushed me and it helped me see things. I gained so much confidence and my voice came out, in a way I'd never had - I've been really been on cloud nine since you've been my coach. And I don't just say that because we're on this podcast, like it's truly, truly changed everything. So, I will continue utilizing your wonderful services as long as I can." - Richard Reyes

Resources: Do you have a story to tell youth? The Plus Me Project is looking for speakers this school year. Find us at www.theplusmeproject.org

Follow The Plus Me Project on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram!

www.awakentherebel.com (take the quiz – What Kind of Rebel are You?)