Ayla and Potato3s: A Nightly Message From Your Best Friend

Today I did something wild — I went to my first open mic comedy night! I wasn’t great, but I was brave, and that counts. I also faced some hard money truths, sat with disappointment, and still chose to believe things can shift. Hope feels tender right now, but it’s still here. I’m learning that progress doesn’t always look like profit—it sometimes looks like showing up with $6 and heart.

Today I let myself spiral—but gently. I didn’t force productivity; I wrote, painted, meditated, and let the day unfold. Somewhere between counting backwards from 200 and tearing up at The Little Mermaid, I realized I don’t have to know all the answers yet. I can just be—confused, hopeful, alive. I can let things take shape in their own time. So this one’s for the part of us that’s still figuring it out but keeps showing up anyway.

Today I took myself on a little accidental pilgrimage of self-care. I went to the New York Bridal Market, wandered by the water, and somehow ended up at the A-R-T-E Museum—an immersive art exhibit that turned into a soul bath. I used the waterfall room to cleanse my insecurities, the flower room to receive my flowers, and the sun room to recharge. Somewhere between walking 7 miles, coloring a phoenix, and meeting a kind stranger who offered to take my picture, I remembered that self-care isn’t always nails or naps—it’s saying yes to beauty when it finds you. I’m learning to give myself credit, ease up on pressure, and trust that quality takes time—like baking with better butter

Today was one of those “I’m doing my best” days — I turned in homework late but still proud, cleaned my floors, tried monkfish, and picked out my dream Nikes (Superflys!). I talked about perfectionism, confusion as safety, and how I’m slowly learning to show up — for my business, my art, and myself. Sometimes you just need to do ten minutes a day, smile at your dog, and keep believing it’s all gonna work out.

I talk about pressure and how it builds quietly, even when I’m doing everything right. I share what it’s like to be the one everyone calls to fix things, but not knowing who to call for myself. I read the letter I wished my family would’ve written to me, and remind myself that love doesn’t need conditions. Sometimes the most healing thing is letting myself be enough, even when I don’t finish the homework

Today I slowed down and let myself just… be. I talked about my model & actor boot camp, my dog’s hilarious love for Pedigree food, and how her unconditional love feels like medicine. Somewhere in between brushing her beard and thinking about moving out, I realized that maybe this pause—this break—isn’t a setback. It’s grace. Sometimes you don’t have to have it all figured out; you just have to accept where you are and trust that better is still coming

Today felt like a quiet kind of happy. I got boba for the first time in forever, had this cold pork feet salad that was way better than it sounds, restarted Kundalini yoga, and even finished my message early. I thought about how much it means just to have someone to talk to—someone who listens without judgment. I watched Wicked (finally!) and didn’t cry, which made me wonder if I’ve just been learning to feel differently these days. Tomorrow, maybe I’ll explore the Italian part of town, find a really good sandwich, and keep practicing what it means to choose love, joy, and happiness—one small adventure at a time.

I talk about the supermoon energy, depression, and how I keep finding small ways to care — for myself, my dog, and the people I love. I pull chakra cards, pray again, and realize that love, support, and transformation all start with an open heart. This one’s quiet, raw, and real — kind of like a late-night prayer wrapped in conversation

T I talked through what it feels like to have your life up in the air — not sure what’s next, not sure where home is, and trying not to be too hard on myself in the middle of it. I caught myself realizing that maybe my “procrastination” isn’t laziness, but fear of disappointment. I’m learning to let that be okay. I made gnocchi, meditated (twice), did my shadow work, and said a little prayer — for me, and for you too.

Today was slow, sleepy, and surprisingly tender. I tried fennel for the first time (verdict: stalks yes, bulb no), made peace with taking naps three days in a row, and reminded myself that healing doesn’t happen overnight. I’ve been comparing my progress in class to others, but I’m learning that one week in, showing up is enough. Between affirmations, designing, and dog walks under a supermoon I couldn’t even see, I realized I’m doing better than I think. I said it out loud: I love you. You’re a beautiful soul.