B4U Swipe

In this brief episode, Kris and Lauren share their reflections on podcasting this season and their favorite profile highlights. 

Pop over to website to get links to the links to those episodes https://sites.google.com/view/b4uswipe/home.

In this final episode of Season 1 of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren share two stories and the lessons they learned as they connect with people they met online. 

Kris’ storytime highlights include: The ripped social justice advocate from Episode 9 writes back! Kris shares how that went as we reflect on boundaries, the lies we tell ourselves, and managing this fucking pandemic. 

Lauren’s storytime highlights include: Lauren’s appreciation for “soft,” sexual inventories and articulating pleasure, and a “hard no.” Kris manages to reference Letterkenny yet again. Lauren shares how they put on their sex educator hat to talk about boundary setting with their match. The results may surprise you!

Pop over to our website to learn more about consent and respecting boundaries in this week’s The More You Know https://sites.google.com/view/b4uswipe/home

Happy Lesbian Visibility Day! In this episode, Kris and Lauren discuss a ripped social justice advocate and a “Lady-Loving Lady.”

Kris’ profile highlights include: Our praise of consistent profiles, dopamine hits, hypocrisy, and astrological tattoos. Overall, this profile left Lauren and Kris drooling a little.

Lauren’s profile highlights include: Confusing profile pictures, biphobia, and Kris and Lauren sussing out their feelings about a certain phrase. Overall, this profile gives us an opportunity to discuss discrimination and oppression while still loving on lesbians and most “lady-loving ladies.” We all learn together!

Pop over to our website to learn more about Lauren’s feelings about exclusionary queerness in this week’s The More You Know https://sites.google.com/view/b4uswipe/home - It’s a doozy!

In this episode of B4U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a weed-smoking skier with a violent side and a karaoke-loving, suit-wearing dominant.

Content Warning: In this episode we discuss relationship violence because of a profile image we describe. Please take care of yourself as you decide whether or not to listen. If you need support (an ear, planning, local resources), reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or chat live through their website https://www.thehotline.org/ - you can also find information on what to expect if you call. We’ve used this hotline and are incredibly grateful it exists.

Lauren’s profile highlights include: Dom jams, dating people who are going through a divorce, the stressors that can enter a relationship, and the awesomeness that is karaoke. Overall, this profile perked Kris right up! Lauren’s profile highlights include: Dom jams, dating people who are going through a divorce, the stressors that can enter a relationship, and the awesomeness that is karaoke. Overall, this profile perked Kris right up! And for easy reference and giggles: Vandelay Latex video clip [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPxXPIdXWX0]

Kris’ profile highlights include: love languages, dating violence, and classism. This profile is horrible and we break our non-judgemental vibe to tell our listeners never to post violent images.

Pop over to our website to learn more about the research on Laws of Attraction (Mate vs Unique Value). Get some tips on how to swipe smarter in this week’s The More You Know https://sites.google.com/view/b4uswipe/home.

Kris and Lauren discuss a kilt-wearing dude with a fish and an affluent couple with car trouble

Lauren’s profile highlights include: ambiguous couple composition, interpreting drama, math, car aesthetics, and Netflix as a hobby. This profile is a great example as to what couples who are looking for “fun” should NOT do to attract someone.

Kris’ profile highlights include: barn terminology, dad bods, establishing trust, get to know your firefighter day, masculinity, and presenting your authentic self. While this guy seemed pretty darn cute, we question how honest he is.

Pop over to our website to learn more about the research on profile honesty in this week’s The More You Know https://sites.google.com/view/b4uswipe/home

In this bonus content, Kris and Lauren spend more time unpacking why we care about gender in profiles, particularly as it relates to the violent sexualized art shared in Kris’ profile. We reflect on gender identity and our reactions to the art through a gender/patriarchy framework. Reminder: Gender and sex are not a binary (there are more than two genders and more than two sexes naturally and beautifully occurring across humans)! Gender is a social construction!

In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a bro with a fancy watch and an unsettling profile image. Note, this profile includes cartoon violence that leads to a brief discussion of gender and violence.

Lauren’s profile highlights include: Carefully crafted superficial fanciness, versatility in ball caps, an inexplicable motivational poster, Tinder dismissiveness while being on Tinder, and a beer debate that includes Lauren’s beer snobbery and Kris’ lesson that “Every beer has its place.” Overall, we couldn’t get past the superficiality, arrogance, and were left wondering, WTF is this dude bro thinking?

Kris’ profile highlights include: Where do we even begin? Shy Tinder writer with a vivid, explicit, provocative image including a school girl, a hammer, and a deranged Thumper (Pop over to the website to see the de-identified image). Interpreting representations of violence, art-based subcultures, and how gender shifts our read of profiles. Also a reminder to credit other people’s artwork - even on Tinder! 

Be sure to check out the bonus follow up content on gender identity.

This week on The More you Know we share a profile image and discuss sexualized violence an Thumper. Pop over to our website for more https://sites.google.com/view/b4uswipe/episode-notes

In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a tough, proud right-wing femme and an arrogant aspiring astral projector. Brace yourselves for Lauren’s loudest cackle and a “Dear men” moment. 

Lauren’s profile highlights include: Our first submitted profile! A “New right” woman who hates bad hats. We marvel at their gender norms and appreciate an unexpected Marx joke. Our bias against white supremacist right-wingers comes through loud and clear. Overall, the profile is effective in telling a story and sparking conversation. It’s just not a conversation we want to have. Postscript: We recorded this episode before January 6, 2021. Now we wonder, was she at the Capitol and part of the insurrection? Maybe.

Kris’ profile highlights include: Men using words people don’t know (and being a dick about it),  stalker vibes, spaced out selfies, and references to moon beams and astral projecting. PSA: It isn’t cute when you try to boss around women or femme people. Unless they’ve consented to submissive power play, you’re actually just being an asshole. Overall, the profile was baffling and aggravating. Always, f*ck the patriarchy. 

The More you Know: Gendered swiping patterns

Dr. Kris pulls out her research nerd hat and discusses gender differences in profile compositions, and how they impact whether or not someone chooses to swipe right. She also provides evidence-based tips on how you can increase your matches. Pop over to the website to learn more! https://sites.google.com/view/b4uswipe/home

Kris and Lauren discuss a woman who seems to have one really good side and a couple looking for some playmates. 

Lauren’s profile highlights include: Our memories of black bras and white tank top, getting started dating later in life, and an important conversation about consent when including other people in your images and respecting dancers and sex workers. Overall, this profile was solid, but we wished for better photo choices. 

Kris’ profile highlights include: This was a doozy! Bisexual couple with no photos for a pretty awkward reason! Some words of caution when considering playing with or advertising as a couple. Challenges with race and ethnicity disclosure and interracial couple fetishization. We talk about classism, power dynamics, and risks when proposing weekend getaways. Bonus! Safety planning and check-ins (“My cat’s on fire!”), and bonding with bartenders post bad date. Overall, the profile made us uncomfortable for a 1,000 reasons. 

The More You Know: Compersion

Inspired by a profile's reference to "compersion>jealousy," in this episode's The More You Know, we focus on the joys of compersion. Compersion is about the way our hearts expand (and we get a dose of happy chemicals in our bodies) when we learn about the joy of others we are connected to. This can happen in any relationship! Pop over to our website for more https://sites.google.com/view/b4uswipe/home

Kris and Lauren discuss a “vintage” white guy looking for a long term relationship and a queer, vegan, monogamous, sober human.

Kris’ profile highlights include: Feelings about grammar and punctuation, choices in profile metaphors (another man and a car!), mysterious “gifts,” the baggage of claiming “no baggage,” and posing for photos. Overall, the profile left us wanting and wondering if a physical therapist was involved in its creation.

Lauren’s profile highlights include: Our feelings about cooking shows, the pros and cons of specific references (more metaphors!), wardrobe choices, and disclosing sobriety. This profile left Kris pretty intrigued and somewhat wishing she were younger and living in Chicago.

The More You Know: Photo Selection!

Check out some tips on how to select your photos at our website. https://sites.google.com/view/b4uswipe/home