Greetings Trashlings! We're back with another bonus episode of Trashelor in Paradise!! Casey Bunker joins us on her lunch break (the devotion!) to discuss this weeks penultimate episode, but has to get back to work ASAP so we’re going to keep it short. It’s only right considering this was a 3-hour episode where really not that much happened. What can we say it’s libra season and we're here to balance the scales. 

0:00 While we thought last weeks storm came and went without a peep, off-island there was in fact a BIG peep and a devastating casualty. While on land, Ivan broke protocol for a booty-call, checked a producers phone for the room number of his crush Alexa, and crept over for an incognito in-hotel hang. He clearly did not "understand the gravity of this situation" … What in Ivan’s chart drove him to such madness? We investigate. 

16:50 Casey & Sara also are completely devastated by the audacity of our two wannabe-Casanova bitch-boys, Aaron & Ed, seen here playing-out two stunning, outstanding catches & deeply-lovable black women Chelsea & Natasha (who are irl ouuuuut of their leagues), to save crying white women. Smhhhhh know your role!! We’re not mathematicians but statistically, Natasha >  Ed and Chelsea > Aaron. Justice for Chelsea (selection of actually confident men with long legs please!) and especially Justice for Natasha —- can I get a #NatashaForBachelorette up in here!? Enough is enough! Madness! 

19:17 Noah and Abby miscommunicate and after winning prom king and queen Abby turns Carrie and there is proverbial ‘pigs blood’ dumped on her head when Noah poorly (and perhaps accidentally) breaks up with her post-Prom. Low-key, getting caught in the elevator at her first prom might’ve been more fun than this. What we have here is a masterclass in water signs with Taurus south nodes --  i.e when the going gets tough protect yourself above all is the strategy. They may work it out, but they’re better off dating off-camera. Everyone’s too defensive, no one’s being honest, and there is not nearly enough eye-contact. 

27:27 Small town villain Anna Redman joins the beach and winds up poaching James from Tia. Even though they look country-club perfect, her teeth come into questions as well as their astro-compatability. Will her Gemini Sun, Libra Moon breeziness will work for Aries Sun, Cancer moon James? Only finale will tell.... 

Tune in next week after the finale for our astro re-cap of Trashelor in Paradise, season 7. 

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