Background Noise

Wanna hear a story about two kids getting their heads chopped off by a helicopter propeller on a movie set? Well, you can hear all about that as well as a bunch of other horrible movie set disasters in this episode, you sick bastards! We also talked about a man who made a Super Soaker into a deadly shotgun, poachers legally being shot on sight in India, and Will Smith's recent run-in with a kissing bandit. Also, a new segment was introduced this week - "Black People News" - where we discussed Raven Symone & Idris Elba's questioned sexuality, two kids on Twitter who caused a scandal by "murderin' the sluttery" and "killin' the neck", Lil Boosie found not guilty of murder & Rapper 2 Chainz being arrested for brass knuckles that weren't even really brass knuckles. Oh, and one more thing: "CLIT Eastwood". Yup. Listen and figure it out.

In this week's news, a man needs to shit out a diamond ring or else he will be in (more) trouble. Elsewhere, a man double karate chopped - or flying axe-handled - a woman who bit him in the dick and killed her. After covering that, we got into a discussion about relationships (compromising, simping, low expectations, dumb people, past experiences, what works/what doesn't, etc.), Derrek's story about being a creep around Halifax, an update about Jon Travolta's gaiety (he still loves cock, don't worry), a look at what's going on in the NBA Finals, and Devin's review on the game that has the entire world going nuts - Diablo 3! So, we have violence, sex, sports, video games, news & opinions. Why WOULDN'T you listen to us? Oh...you don't have ears...damn...SORRY! Go look at pictures, I guess. MOVING pictures, even.

Comedian Kyle Hickey picks up the 4th mic on this week's show to help bring the ruckus! Topics of discussion include John Travolta's spree of gayness, Adam Yauch's death & the Beastie Boys, a man who got struck in the balls by lightning, an evil clown who you can hire to stalk your child, ancient torture tools, a man who can smash his hard-on through a grapefruit, and Twitter jail. After that, we browsed an inmate dating site as a way of trying to find true love...since we need it. We need it BAD. Do you love us? No? Well, can you listen to our show and pretend that you do? Okay, great. Thanks. I guess we go together now.

In stunning news this week, the "Octomom" is going to be doing porn because she's broke as a joke! Wow! We discussed some of the "porn stunts" that she could pull (what objects would fit inside her vagina?), as well as how much we would need to be paid in order to star in a flick with her. Keeping the sexiness going, we talked about a German sex freak who sexed a man up so good and so long that he had to call the police on her. Poor fella. We also discussed a boy being suspended from school for wearing a religious shirt (are we getting carried away with what is appropriate and what's not?), Facebook's new "organ donor" plan (we also thought up some other cool ideas that Facebook could do), and then we took a look at a new study about how two people can be matched up romantically based off of their communication skills and the words they use. It's actually really fascinating and we had an in-depth conversation about it, so I promise that you'll learn from it and look at things in a new way. You want to learn & be loved, right? Well then listen to this week's show because it'll help all of your fantasies come true and whisk you away to magical lands previously unknown, you unlovable half-wit.

This week WE'RE DOOMED...relax, not our show, I just mean that the band, "We're Doomed" joined us for our middle segment to discuss their music! We also got the guys to open up about who they think the hottest woman in the world is, talked video games, discussed the greatest foods in the world, got them to create an album cover and a "dream concert" & more! Discussion topics this week include Metta World Pea...err, Ron Artest's elbow to James Harden and violence in sports (new concussion policies, the intense NHL playoff violence, suspension lengths in sports), the "I Can Count To Potato" girl discovered in real life (her parents are pissed; how seriously should trolling be taken?), the banning of yoga pants & leggings in schools, a tranquilized bear falling out of a tree, our favorite xvideo searches, Buff Bagwell breaking his neck, saxophone players killing themselves in hotels, and a magical school bus that cures hangovers. This episode is like a breakfast buffet. We have a lot of everything for everyone...and we're delicious. So eat us. With your EARS.

Dick Clarke is dead...but our show is still alive, proving that if there IS a God, he might be a cruel being. On this episode we discussed a man who interrupted a newscast in a very interesting way, gave out 3 "Dummy Awards" (seriously, these 3 people are dumber than anyone you know x100), talked about Acura getting in some trouble (they had some racial issues arise while trying to cast a commercial), studied a Japanese hermit (we also discussed camping and how well we would do trying to survive all alone on an island - watchout for ass-scorpions!), gave some love to the show Storage Wars, weighed the pros and cons of having sex in the shower (it really is a dangerous act), did some flavored-condom taste-testing (fresh from the wrapper, not on a cock, and not pulled from an orifice), and talked about all of the issues and happenings in regards to the Raymond Taavel murder in Halifax, Nova Scotia. It's Background Noise - we welcome everybody! So give us a shot! Even your children and grandparents can listen, if they want to! We don't care...but really that's probably not a good idea. OR IS IT?! Hmmm...no...but yes...but yes no.

This is a life-changing episode right here, folks - but how is that different from any other week? We discussed the death of Fashion Television (how did it last so long in the first place?), the anniversary of the Titanic (it's weird how people "celebrate" a tragedy), pig orgasms (we watched a video on how to make a female pig cum and it was uhhh...educational...), the mega millions (how would you live and what would you do with $36 million?), Axel Rose being a bit of an asshole...AGAIN (turning down his Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction - was he right or wrong for that?), arguing with women and fighting with men at bars (drunk people are idiots, basically), Devin's hatred for Charles Manson (ol' Charlie was up for parole recently and was denied), the word "hate" (what it means & it's power - do you actually hate any one and why?), the over-sexualization of young girls (the overly sexy clothes they make for kids and the fact that the TV show Toddlers and Tiaras shouldn't exist), a good way to fight racism (a discussion about how awful EVERYONE, regardless of color, can be) and then bits and pieces of other interesting topics, like Hitler hugging a kitten. Only on Background Noise can you get deep, philosophical conversations, dick jokes, news, and lessons on how to finger bang a pig. Prepare for landing. Background Noise to you. Come in...do you read? I hope so, otherwise this was all written for nothing.

This week Corey Mombourquette joined us to talk about his Lilah Kemp project, which mixes live readings, music, stand-up comedy & more. We also talked about Game Of Thrones (the season 2 premiere, the greatness of season 1, and the books - no spoilers), wrestling and play-fighting as kids (almost killing friends by mistake), those giant Jurassic Park cups that are perfect for mixing drinks, vintage WWF glasses, lobster genitals (what is the deal with those?), church experiences, the value of family (it's important to call your mom, you know), white cops in the USA tommy gunning black people's feet like Dick Tracy, why cocaine sucks and other interesting and amazing topics that will turn your head inside out so that you can look at your own thoughts and learn about them. You like to learn, don't you? And laugh? Well then shooooooot man, put Background Noise in your ears and smoke it! You'll get so high even the clouds will turn green with envy...and sickness. So, they might vomit all over the world. Chill.

Josh Hogan - businessman, groomed Ewok, member of metal band Orchid's Curse, possible viking, and writer of the Red Tentacle blog - joined us on this episode to talk about business and life solutions. If you're a musician or business owner, you're also a person who especially needs to listen to his ideas & advice because you WILL learn something. We also caught up on the newest developments in the Trayvon Martin case, talked about the transgendered beauty queen who got kicked out of a pageant, found out what the point of the Adam's apple is, learned about cisgendered people, discussed weird banjo players, and dreamt about being in a hot tub with a BBQ an arm's length away. This is an episode that you need in order to survive. Don't let yourself get caught without it. Tie it to your utility belt.

Here's a breakdown of this week's Background Noise: the Trayvon Martin case (what went down, racial profiling, Florida's crazy laws, hate crimes, black on black crime), gorilla facts (how much can they bench press and how do you survive if you find yourself in the middle of a pack of them?), how having a gun effects a person psychologically, a recap of Geeks vs. Nerds in Halifax, NFL (brief talk of trades and bounties), a man who died and came back to life, March Madness, feminine vs. masculine (is gender blurring necessary?), the art of arguing/debating, and ice cream recipes. Okay, we didn't have ice cream recipes, but the rest is still awesome, isn't it? No? Well shut-up then! Here's an ice cream recipe for you - go buy your favorite flavor from the store, you jerk! And then eat it and listen to this podcast. Welcome to Heaven. Enjoy.