Bad Book Bash

Molly confesses to Salvio that she is pregnant; he accuses her of tricking him into impregnanting her for his money...even though he was the one who seduced her, brought the condoms, and offered her a job. He also accused her of lying and saying it was someone else's baby; despite knowing that they only had sex a week ago (how did she even know she was pregnant within 7 days??) and that she was a virgin before him. Then he's so mad he sleeps with her again. This is why we hate billionaires.

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Molly takes up Salvio's offer for a new job, since Lady Avery fired her out of jealousy. Salvio thinks Molly is a stalker for this, even though he knows she has nowhere to go and he's half the reason she was fired. Molly also finds out that she is pregnant, despite the mini mountain of condoms she and Salvio burned through and it only being a week since they hooked up.

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Molly has to prepare dinner for the Averys and Salvio, but she gets distracted by her own horniness and ruins the whole dinner. Later, she joins Salvio in his room for a nightcap, where, despite being a complete virgin, she turns out to be a master at sex because of course she is. All female characters written in these sorts of books are basically sexual Mary-Sues. Keego explains to the audience the story of the Amsterdam-dad-glory-hole story, and Alex talks about his love-hate relationship with Chelsea; the sports team, not a woman.

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We have a Christmas special for Bad Book Bash! Join Keego, Alex Byrne, and Betsy as we review “The Italian’s Christmas Housekeeper”. This book was picked because of the hilarious description on the back, starting with this line:“Shy Housekeeper Molly Miller always tries her best.”Molly is an English maid who meets Italian billionaire Salvio De Gennaro, who has only two personality traits: being rich and being from Naples. Him and Molly fall for each other through a story cascade featuring emotional abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, and body shaming.If you want to hear a heartwarming Christmas romance, this is not the book for you. This book will make you want to throw yourself into the yuletide fire. But hey I’m sure it’s better than whatever family bullshit you’ve got going on this year, so give it a listen anyways 🙂

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Paulelica faces more stressors at work, such as human discrimination and sexual harassment, but luckily she deals with it by getting wasted in the middle of the day. Lucien, like all vampires we've encountered in this podcast, insists on acting like he's 15 instead of 15-hundred. Paul gets upset that so many CEOs are trying to buy female interns (not hire), and also thinks Snape is sexy. We also spend all of our money trying to compliment Lucien but it's still not good enough.

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We learn more about our character's backstory, like how she knows about the supernatural world because her mom was bitten by a WEREBADGER?? Paul thinks Lucian is the ideal sigma male, and Betsy tells her fiance how she fancies Robin Hood, the cartoon fox version. Our character (Paulelica) also has to take "samples" from her vampire client Lucian, and it's as cringe as you think it is.

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NEW PODCAST SERIES ALERT!! Listen in as we do a gameplay of the infamous, interactive story app “Chapters”. In this app, you play a character; usually a young, busty woman, and make decisions for her as she navigates her creepy, supernatural romance plotline. Our “Chapters” gameplay has all of the cringe, ghoulish plotlines as our regular YA novels, but way more consent because this time, WE’RE in charge! Even better, I waste my money on in-game purchases so you don’t have to

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We've reached the end of our journey with Raven Madison and Alexander Sterling! They get ready to go to the school "Snow Ball" together; a dance where everyone is supposed to wear white but the two goth teenagers show up wearing all black because dressing differently is the only way they know how to rebel. At the dance, drama ensues involving Trevor and Becky. And at the very end of the book, we finally find out if Alexander is a vampire or not. Also Ren is still angry that in real life, nobody wants to bang the goth chick

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The Sterling family continues to drop major hints that they're vampires, not at all trying to maintain secrecy in this tiny, boring suburban town. Raven also continues to commit more crimes, such as breaking and entering into the totally-not-a-vampire-family house in order to get to know the guy she has a crush on. I mean it wouldn't be a YA book if there wasn't some sort of stalking, right?

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"Weekend's coming up, time to do some skanking!" -Becky CheatleRaven and Trevor continue their terrible feud, by taping things to Raven's locker (and only her locker, like she doesn't even touch his). Also, Betsy revisits her memories of church camp, and Becky reveals that Betsy's fellow campers were probably trying to get her to unalive herself. Rude.

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