Bad Book Bash

Bella and Edward both get themselves cancelled in this episode. Bella goes on and calls herself "disabled" while Edward continues with the 3 P's of red flags: being a pervert, pussy, and pedo. Bella gets in an argument with Jessica because she doesn't "know" Edward like she does, while forgetting that Bella herself doesn't know him either. Also, Betsy and her guests talk about the sexy new trend on TikTok where people are leaning against a wall and making their partners' bellies get all tingly

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Edward gets himself mad by imagining a hypothetical scenario where Mike Newton is a vampire, and then gets angry at fake vampire Mike Newton, while also reassuring himself that he's not that bad because he isn't as bad as imaginary vampire Mike. Then he follows/stalks Bella and her friends while they're shopping, and happens to save Bella from some bad dudes. Bella learns about Edward's stalking and instead of being upset by it, is flattered.

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Edward continues to stalk and breathe in Bella's stank; meanwhile my guests discuss how someone can be "genetically sexy", wtf a genome is, and if Stephanie Meyer and JK Rowling have ever hung out? Also, Edward throws a panic attack because Bella falls asleep and shade falls onto her. That's not an exaggeration, that's literally the plot of an entire chapter is how the movement of the sun makes Edward throw a fit.

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Honestly not much continues with the plot, as 95% of this book is Edward moping, plotting, and stalking. He gets upset that Mike Newton likes Bella, to the point where he fantasizes about murdering him. Also, Jess, Sinead, and Betsy get into vampire philosophy, like does the "half your age plus 7" rule apply for vampires? Is period blood less appealing to vampires than regular blood? And why doesn't Edward get a hobby?

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Edward decides to breathe in Bella's scent for a full 8 hours every night so he can get used to her stank. Then, he offers to drive her for 3 hours to a nearby city, while repeatedly telling her he's dangerous. She, for some weird reason, accepts, much to his dismay and delight.

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I'm not gonna lie, listeners, not much really happens as far as plot in this episode. Edward continues to sulk, stalk, and simmer while Bella just goes about her day being an average teenage girl. Although one particular note in this section, Edward realizes that he loves her, although everyone on the pod agrees its just an extreme form of limerence. Also, Jess and Sinead rave about Charlie's porn 'stache

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Apologies for the late upload, I was busy with my day job which is how I eat and pay rent
Edward continues to be flabbergasted at the most basic mundane things that Bella does, such as: driving safe, being a shy person, and displaying empathy. For someone who's lived to be as old as him, you'd think nothing surprised him anymore. His other family members, however, literally want to murder her. That's something they missed in the movies!

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We talk about Jessica...no not our lovely comedian guest star Jessica Collins (we wait for her to leave before talking about her), but Jessica Stanley, Bella's frenemy in "Twilight"/"Midnight Sun". Edward is annoyed that she finds him hot, even though literally every other girl feels the same way. Edward continues to broil in his hanger as Bella's stank torments him further; he even pulverizes a chair over it. Also, the guests compare the Cullens to the hit TV show, "Jersey Shore"

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This season's book is "Midnight Sun", a "Twilight" spin-off written by the main lady herself; Stephanie Meyer!! "Midnight Sun" is "Twilight" from Edward's perspective, and somehow SM managed to make this version even more creepy and cringe than her original book!
Our guests for this season are the lovely and hilarious Irish comedians, Sinead Walsh and Jessica Collins. Find them on instagram at @sineadwalshcomedy and @divajesscoll

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Once again, we have vampires trying to SA a young teenage girl, but luckily this girl literally has claws and forgets until the last second that she's a werewolf and kicks the pervert's ass. The werewolf rescue crew are able to find the vampire layer pretty quickly, as in it was probably just in the field over from their little town. Azalea gives birth in the middle of a war scene

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