Bad Words Club

Well hello there. In this very special Extra Bad Words departure, John and Justin snuggle up and talk about sleeping. Actually, not sleeping. Turns out neither of us are very good at being unconscious. In this installment we talk about our individual sleepless adventures. So settle in, get comfy, and don't forget to have the prescription for your sleep aid of choice refilled. It's time for the Bed Words Club!

We CONTINUE to talk about Wave of Confusion from last week, because it's such a goldmine. Really, we should write this one. This is the one we should actually work on. Why aren't we writing it right now? I'll tell you why: It's much more lucrative to wait for someone else to steal this amazing idea and then sue them when they infringe all our copyrights. Yeah, that's right, this whole podcast was just a honeypot baby. Come on, do all the work for us and let us sue you. Please? Pretty please?

We only talk about one story in this episode: "Waves of Confusion." It's a doozy. We're in love with it.

Okay I'm EXTREMELY proud of one specific edit in this one. During the intro song, Devil with the Devil, just as the flutes come in Justin's laugh lines up with them PERFECTLY. I heard that laugh while editing and thought, hey, I think that's the flutes. And it was. It's beautiful and deserves to be pointed out. You know what else is beautiful? Your perineum. Still don't know what that is. Not going to look it up. Okay, I looked it up. I stand by everything. Justin has really developed his Pitt Pelvis and decides to start in on his Nielsen Nuggs. If you love instructional golf satires this is the episode for you. Stories discussed in this episode: "Martian Dolly" and "A Bid for Sin."

You'll be really proud of us this time around, we actually cobble together TWO WHOLE STORIES, beginning, middle, and end. It's cool. They're good ones too, even though one's about some pretty severe domestic abuse and the other's a guy targeting women with violence. But like, it's the funny kind of abuse and violence. Don't hate the player hate the game. What does that even mean in this context? I don't know. I just have no idea what to write here sometimes. Stories discussed in this episode are "The Healer's Husband" and "Girl Stones."

Hello! The audio is kind of weird on this one, but at least it's short! It was super long when we recorded, but I've never felt so compelled to cut stuff before. Think of this episode more like the "best of" reel from the recording session instead of, like, a standalone work. Also, bad news if you're a professional dancer, this episode is REALLY anti-dance for some reason. I mean I cut a LOT of the anti-dance stuff and there's still a ton in here. Someone's got some issues, that's all I'm saying. Stories discussed in this episode: "Shadow's Baby" and "A Necessary Waltz." 

In this extremely-special-but-still-not-quite-as-special-as-we-wanted-it-to-be episode, John and Justin record from the same room! In the same place! Face to face! During a pandemic! We intended to record outside but got rained on. Oh and here's a little behind-the-scenes tidbit: we got up at like 6:00 the next morning to try recording outside again, thinking an episode recorded in the woods at dawn would be neat or fun. That one got rained out too. We were just not meant to record outside. John talks about his underwear again. Stories discussed this time around are an unnamed mystery-solving team of people who faked their death, "Sad Meatloaf," and "Sexy Time Bash." Special appearances by Ben Folds and Harry Roy & His Orchestra. Which reminds me, this episode's got the explicit tag, but it really earned it.

I'm marking this one explicit. We don't say naughty words or anything but there's LOTS of farting and sexy stuff, and some people find that inappropriate. To be honest I don't remember a lot else about this episode right now, so I'll have to come fill in this description with details later. 

We're back! Again! Bad Words Club is the horror movie monster that won't die, no matter how awful things get, we will ALWAYS come back from seemingly permanent hiatus despite (1) dismemberment (2) mutilation (3) explosion, and we will find you, listener, and we will still have that machete or whatever from Act 1, and HO BOY are we ugly now. 

In this episode we discuss Crime of the Ugly Mermaid, Sentimental Conspiracy, Snake Nazis, a WHOLE LOT of Jim Varney (RIP, please go watch some Ernest movies), and Justin introduces a new segment that inspired me to make some REAL EDITING decisions. Altogether, one of my favorite episodes so far, and you're wrong if you disagree.  

Do you like scary things? Do you read books? Do you raise children? Where do you find the time!? Maybe it's time for a break, maybe what you need is the scariest book about raising kids to ever be gifted to new adoptive parents by a state entity. Introducing Extra Bad Words: High Risk. It's the only podcast that may actually prevent you from being killed in your sleep. 

Stay tuned for actual episodes, coming soon!