Bad Words Club

Beedle-a-deedle-a-weeedle weeeeeeldeah-weeeee, ahba-weeeeeeeeedleadedlea deeeeee dallllla deeedleah de-weeeeeeble (ah) weeeeble (ah) deeeeble-a-wheeeeeb a weeeeebleadeeeebleah deeeeee buh buh buh-weeeeeedlea-deeeeeedleah (ah, ah) da-wheeeeeeeeblea debleah deee deee deeeeeeeblea wedle-edle-edle-edle aweeeeeebleadeeeeeeee badeeldleah-duh-whah whah wheeeeeedle a bedldldldldleeeblelelel (ah) bah-wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Episodes discussed in this episode: The Slowest Pistol, Quest of Noon, The Unnatural Guitar.

Okay so, depending on where you live it's TECHNICALLY still Friday, and we're not yet legally "behind" by any episodes, though you might start to wish we were. Justin and I were going to just let this week go by because it's... uh... crazy out there. But then I, John, accidentally found some inspiration and recorded/edited this episode WITHOUT JUSTIN'S KNOWLEDGE OR CONSENT, I cannot express strongly enough that Justin should not be held responsible for this travesty of an episode. Wow. It's rough. I'm doing this, though. We'll see if I leave it online very long. Yikes. I marked this one as having explicit material.

In this episode: Fan Mail from John’s brother, John’s nipples, “My Kingdom of Thirst,” The Ascent of Stan, Justin gets a phone call or two, otters are rapists, “God’s Valentine/A Duke’s Rose,” Justin mentions syphilis, we completely fail to talk about “Frontier Diplomat,” “Candles in the Wood,” and “Mail-Order Sins,” but we do discuss the movie Se7en for like 15 minutes. Justin talks about Laserdiscs even more often than John talk’s about the Pitt pelvis. Justin issues a serious challenge. 

The gang quickly but briefly gets political in this episode, John miscredits the Potatoe Vice President and we both forget Dan Quail’s name. Justin’s next movie gets some workshopping, but unfortunately I don’t think he actually had time to make BUT the discussion is timely! Finally we swing hard into something more our milieu: Oompa Loompas. In fact we come up with a great fanfic book no one’s allowed to steal or write before us. We said it out loud so it’s copyrighted and ours now. Wow we talked about Willy Wonka for a long time. Also worth noting: Justin’s kids have amazing comedic timing. Stories discussed in this episode: Justin’s Cupid Movie, The Filthy Goose, and The Husband Clinic/The Atomic Wife.

John is recording from a closet now! He feels safe and sounds great and has some AMAZING MOVES. We hear back from our number one fan and decide to drag her for some reason, despite her very nice thank-you email. John definitely says “corbid” instead of “corvid.” For some reason we end up weaving two different titles into cult stories, and honestly I would join either one of them. We get mad at every Bethany and pick up a lucrative Coldstone Creamery sponsorship maybe? Stories discussed in this episode: Pools of Ignorance, Five Inch Mask, The Crystal Lips, and Coldstone Fox.

Season three is here! This is it! This is the best season! I can feel it in my bones. In the first episode alone we invoke "no pogo" TWICE. John says something so controversial he makes the decision to self-censor in editing. Justin's heritage comes into question, some fonts get sexy as hell(vetica), and we lose our lucrative My Pillow sponsorship. THAT'S JUST EPISODE ONE, PEOPLE! We've already got two more of these in the chamber, too. Buckle the heck up. Finally, LET IT BE KNOWN THAT JOHN ABERNATHY IS NO COWARD and he is very good at the banjo. Stories discussed in this episode: Satan’s Cat, The Reversible Policeman, Hitler Irresistible, Romance on the Committee, Pillow Ace.

We start off the new year by wrapping up the old season. John and Justin briefly share and expand upon their two favorite stories from season two. I'm very, VERY excited to get started with season three.

Is your name Hannah? Does your last name start with G? Did you write us an email like six months ago that we never acknowledged or responded to? Do you still, for some reason, pay enough attention to this long-abandoned podcast to see this episode go up? Well, lucky day! This entire episode is JUST FOR YOU. We're finally answering your email, apologizing for yet another long hiatus, and talking a bit about season three. Hello Hannah G.! You're great. Thanks or listening. Sorry we're so bad at this!

Bow before me, mortal listeners, for I have edited an exhausting four-hour recording full of yawning gibberish and coma-inducing digressions into a roughly one-hour experience that is significantly less torturous. In this, the pre-game to the finale, Justin and John narrow down the twenty best stories from season two. Because we're awesome and good at podcasting the intro is a visual gag, and I THINK we're going to post it on our twitter, @badwordsclub, so go check that out if the first couple of minutes are too confusing. 

Once again, thanks for hanging out through yet another hiatus. We're going to be making some process changes for season three, so hopefully we'll be able to get the podcast as regular as a healthy dump, and almost as funny.

In this special episode of The Bad Words Club, we get an update on the original children's swear committee we stole the show's name from. We pitch embarrassingly few titles because we keep getting distracted. John's dad used to keep a goat in his basement and the voices in Justin' head turn out to be real. Also I guess neither of us noticed that we accidentally talked about BOTH tiki torches AND Pepe the frog this episode, which is why I decided to give it the "Explicit Content" warning.