Like every youth pastor has said since 2001, Shrek wasn’t the first to go bonkers from a talking donkey. Meet Balaam. A pagan prophet with a reverence for God. A conman with the night time number to the Almighty. The misunderstood messenger who only does what God tells him and somehow ends up the bad guy.

Buckle up for some holy whiplash, folks. God never changes Their mind, except when They do. Then They’ll take you on a Them-damn roller coaster. And don’t forget to ask for specifics when God tells you to go someplace. Should you go physically and mentally? Just physically? Just mentally? Oh no! You got it wrong. Now God sent a hitman.

Speaking of which, we are very excited that our guest star for this story will be the Angel of the Lord, brought to you by Acme Telecom Solutions. Angels, what they lack in humanity they make up for in immobility. 

Lock up your bulls and rams because Balaam is coming to town! And he’s opened wide for the word of the Lord. 

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