From North Korea, where our show is now apparently the state-sponsored podcast of choice, this is Ballot. We’re diving into Kim Jong Un’s latest tech paranoia: a smartphone that autocorrects your slang to propaganda and takes screenshots for the government every five minutes. Big Brother just updated his OS.Then: Trump gives himself a portrait do-over because his first one made him look like a Bond villain. Now it's soft lighting and a red tie—but don’t worry, the mugshot still hangs in the Oval.Finally, Meghan Markle has done it again. This time, it’s not an interview, not a docuseries, not a podcast—it’s…a pineapple. And people are losing their minds. We slice into the latest backlash over fruit-based wisdom and ask: can Meghan just have a snack in peace?Portions of today’s show were made with the help of state-run autocorrect, portrait filters, and a very controversial pineapple.

From Washington, D.C., where apparently we're all amateur meteorologists now, this is Ballot. Today we talk about the massive Saharan dust cloud blanketing the Caribbean like it booked a long weekend on JetBlue, and how it's dimming the sun, irritating lungs, and reminding Florida that yes, weather can be worse.Then: Trump flirts with the idea of pardoning Diddy—yes, that Diddy—and 50 Cent jumps in to block it like it's the BET Awards beef bracket. Meanwhile, in Florida, a sheriff’s deputy thought it would be hilarious to ride around with a fake license plate that literally said “CHASE ME.” Spoiler: she got chased.And in a bit of good news, Florida's bobcats are finally punching back—by taking down invasive Burmese pythons like it’s Wildlife UFC.Portions of today’s show were made with the help of MAGA bobcats, flipped license plates, and AI-generated sneezing.

Canada's wildfires are causing smoky skies from coast to coast, with smoke reaching as far south as Florida. But wait, is it Biden or one of his clones behind it? Meanwhile, Mount Etna erupts in Sicily, and the acting head of FEMA has a disaster of his own. Don't miss the latest antics of Trump and his social media obsession. Get the rundown on these fiery, smoky, and controversial events.

In this episode, we dive into the absurdity of Trump’s ambitious plan to build a National Garden of American Heroes—250 statues by next year, but it’s already facing serious roadblocks from sculpture experts. We also unpack the quirks of Gen Z and their bar tab anxiety—because apparently, leaving a tab open is just too much commitment. Meanwhile, Goodyear celebrates a century of their blimp with a ridiculously slow "Victory Lap" over Ohio, and of course, Take Our Kids to Work Day at the White House brings us the hard-hitting questions: What candy does President Trump eat? Spoiler: It’s not red Starbursts. Tune in for all the madness, from controversial statues to the “Trump Shuffle” on the South Lawn!

United Airlines is making passengers check in 15 minutes earlier, but will it really help with delays? Meanwhile, Turkey cracks down on early standers during landing with fines, tackling a major airplane etiquette issue. As summer approaches, the U.S. braces for another heatwave with the West facing droughts and the East dealing with humidity. Get the scoop on travel chaos, airplane behavior, and weather forecasts in today’s headlines!

President Trump is sending mixed signals on Russia, going from praising Vladimir Putin as a "nice gentleman" to accusing him of "playing with fire" amid stalled peace negotiations. Meanwhile, RFK Jr. stirs controversy by removing COVID vaccine recommendations for pregnant women and children, without informing the CDC. French President Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte create a viral moment with an awkward slap during their visit to Vietnam. It’s a day of political drama you won’t want to miss!

President Trump steps in to pardon Todd and Julie Chrisley, reality TV stars convicted of tax evasion and fraud. The White House calls it a second chance for "unfairly targeted" Americans, but critics aren't so sure. Meanwhile, Trump stirs the pot with Canada, offering them free missile defense protection if they become the U.S.'s 51st state—though Canada’s prime minister is having none of it. Lastly, Trump’s ongoing battle with Harvard has sparked conspiracy theories, as he freezes their funding and demands conditions, all while his son-in-law Jared Kushner benefited from the school's admission process.

Scientists say it’s already too late to stop the polar ice caps from melting. But sure, go ahead and drop $39 million on Obama’s Martha’s Vineyard estate—it comes with ocean views, emphasis on ocean. Plus, archaeologists in Naples open a sealed 2,000-year-old tomb, because clearly no one has ever seen a mummy movie. The climate is doomed, real estate is absurd, and history wants a word. Hosted by Patrick Gutfield.

Patrick Gutfield opens with a solemn tribute to the real meaning of Memorial Day—then gets back to business roasting world leaders and scientific overkill. King Charles makes a rare speech in Canada just as Trump jokes about annexing it, scientists unveil a $10 million atomic clock that’s somehow more punctual than the IRS, and archaeologists open a 2,000-year-old sarcophagus because clearly no one’s seen a mummy movie. Plus: was that ancient Roman buried with… a toiletry bag?

Patrick Gutfield breaks down the week’s wildest headlines—from Trump allegedly firing a chef over Caesar salad to the U.S. government accidentally running a massive budget surplus. Plus: a Lufthansa flight flies without a pilot for ten minutes (nope, not autopilot), and the national debt becomes a cosmic concept. It’s a bumpy ride, so buckle up—and maybe keep your own salad opinions to yourself.