Ballroom State of Mind

Frustration isn’t a sign you’re failing—it’s proof you’re learning.

In this episode, Amber reframes frustration as evidence you’re operating in the learning zone, not the comfort zone. You’ll learn why frustration is normal, how much of it comes from the story you’re telling yourself, and how to keep moving forward even when it feels uncomfortable.

You’ll discover:

• Why frustration means you’re on the right track

• How your thoughts can turn up—or turn down—the intensity

• The link between resilience and frustration tolerance

• A simple process to reframe and move through it

Frustration doesn’t have to stop your progress. In fact, everything you want is on the other side of it.

Dance Strategy Calls are back on and you can book one now if you'd like to investigate private coaching! Bring your dance concern and we'll strategize in a short 30 minute mini session!

Why would a coach ever tell you not to listen to her?

In this episode, I’m flipping the script. I walk through four reasons you might think I’m not the right person to guide you — and then show you why those very reasons are exactly what make me the right coach for dancers like you.

From not being a professional dancer, to making mistakes, to not having “fancy letters” after my name, to not telling you exactly what to do… each of these “weaknesses” is actually a strength.

By the end, you’ll see that what disqualifies you in your own mind might actually be what makes you perfectly positioned to shine.

Get on my email list HERE to be notified when the Ballroom State of Mind Coaching Program reopens it's doors for Private and Group Coaching!

Have you ever felt raw, exposed, or even regretful after a competition, showcase, or intense lesson—no matter how well it went? That’s what Brené Brown calls a vulnerability hangover.

In this episode, I unpack what it means, how it shows up for dancers, and why it’s actually a sign of courage, not weakness.

You’ll hear real examples from lessons, coaching, and competitions, plus practical ways to process those tender feelings with compassion.

Vulnerability isn’t something to “fix”—it’s proof that you’re brave enough to keep growing.

New clients who want into the Ballroom State of Mind Coaching Program can go HERE to purchase the entry package. After the initial 3 months, you can stay in the group for a low monthly rate! See you inside!

In this episode of Ballroom State of Mind, we dive into a common but confidence-killing habit dancers don’t even realize they’re doing: deflecting compliments with “Yeah, but…”

Whether it’s brushing off a coach’s praise, downplaying your competition results, or minimizing progress others can clearly see — this reflexive response quietly erodes your self-esteem.

We explore why dancers do it, how it sabotages both confidence and energy, and what to do instead. Learn how to recognize this pattern, receive acknowledgment with gratitude, and stop pushing away the very things you want more of.

This episode is packed with real examples, mindset shifts, and a new way to let your wins count.

To get on my email list so you don't miss any announcements, or to get this episode sent right to your inbox, go ⁠HERE⁠.

Go ⁠HERE⁠ if you're ready to start ballroom mindset and confidence coaching NOW

Your dancing is SO important, right? You invest a lot of time, effort, and money into this thing and it really matters, right?

Or maybe not?

Sometimes we have let the dance pressure get too high and it becomes counter-productive. The stress to please your teacher and produce what you have worked on can be too much.

When the stress is high and it's creating problems, sometimes the mindset we need is actually not that this matters and is super important. The vibe we might just need is:

It's not that deep.

Step back and remember why you are here...what this is about. What is really at stake? Nothing unless you deem it so.

In this episode we bring the pressure down and ironically, your results might just go up as you always wanted anyway.

Reminder: Tuesday, Aug 26, 2025 at 3:30pm PT, I am reopening my coaching program starting with an info call. You should come.

Go HERE to register.

If you can't make it live, I'll send you the replay via email. To get on the list, go HERE.

Go HERE if you're new and ready to get coaching NOW

Episodes mentioned:

Episode 2: Stages of Development

Episode 81: This Isn't About Dancing at All

If you find yourself ruminating on possible negatives outcomes, catastrophizing what might happen, and/or avoiding certain aspects in your dancing, you might be problem-avoiding. Anyone avoid watching their own videos? No? Just me?

Well if you are avoiding problems or things that you fear in your ballroom dancing, I guarantee it's leading to small, hesitant, forced, tense dancing. Your lessons and coaching aren't as effective and your practice is probably non-existent at this point.

None of us want to dance from that fearful stance.

Instead, try on a problem-solving attitude instead of problem avoiding. You are plenty brave and you can solve anything that comes your way.

See if you can find yourself in this episode!

ALSO....heads up!! Private coaching is coming back and it comes with a HUGE new offering!! Listen in to the episode to get the teaser!

Join my Facebook Group,⁠ JOYFUL BALLROOM ⁠to be a part of a fun, positive ballroom dance community!

What might I say to a newer ballroom dancer that was just getting started? This was asked of me in a recent coaching session with a brand new bronze level dancer. I answered her questions and decided to pass some of the answers on to you. 

Even as a seasoned dancer, I think you will find yourself in these 7 pieces of advice:

1. Crash into it
2. You can't skip sucking
3. Never stop having fun
4. Maintain a sense of sovereignty
5. Results are just a tool, not the truth
6. Minimize mental input
7. Compete (or perform) as soon as you can

Listen in and enjoy!!

Go HERE to get on my waitlist for my group coaching program! Scroll to the bottom and click on the "JOIN THE WAITLIST" button!

Join my Facebook Group,⁠ JOYFUL BALLROOM ⁠to be a part of a fun, positive ballroom dance community!

After pushing forward from Newcomer to Open American Rhythm in 5 years, I have been feeling the fatigue. Am I tired? Burned out? Unmotivated? Being burned out is just one of many reasons you might find yourself unmotivated. 

In this episode, we provide 8 common reasons amateur and pro/am ballroom dancers, or any dancers for that matter, might find it hard to be motivated:

-Comparison

-Perfectionism

-Unclear or unrealistic expectations

-Lack of visible progress

-Negative self-talk

-Over-reliance on external validation

-Burnout

-Fear of failure or fear of being judged

Can you see yourself in any of them?? Listen in to get some help!

By way of announcement, we are steadily adding podcast episodes to YouTube on my YT channel, ⁠Amber Haider Coaching⁠. Go check it out and share with your fellow ballroom, salsa, country, and other partner dance friends!

Join my Facebook Group,⁠ JOYFUL BALLROOM ⁠to be a part of a fun, positive ballroom dance community!

All dancers can relate to wanting to be more confident. If we could just dance more confidently, with less anxiety and more freedom we could finally show up as the dancer that we want to.

But as a ballroom dancer, standing on deck, ready to go on the floor, feeling all of that anxiety and pressure to please our partner, teacher, and/or ourselves, the pressure can prove to be too much. We might think that we want to be calm, or relaxed.

This week I want to try on the idea that what we actually want to feel is self trust. Self trust might be a concept that we have not considered in the past as the antidote to anxiety and the key to dance confidence.

Listen in as we offer three dimensions of self trust. Your PAST self, your PRESENT self and your FUTURE self all have specific ways that they can offer you ways to trust yourself.

By way of announcement, we are steadily adding podast episodes to YouTube on my TY channel, Amber Haider Coaching. Go check it out and share with your fellow ballroom, salsa, country, and other partner dance friends!

Join my Facebook Group, JOYFUL BALLROOM to be a part of a fun, positive ballroom dance community!

It can be easy to get discouraged when you have been working hard at something and you're not seeing the results that you want. All humans love a good immediate reward for a job well done. But sometimes the results are slow in coming. 

In this episode we talk about being patient with the process and continuing to work it. The most exceptional people are enormously patient with applying the process that will get them the results that they want. Are you in that class of dancer?

Book referenced: How Champions Think, by Bob Rotella

Listen/watch the podcast on YouTube!

Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for 2025 and a brand new offer!  To get on the interest list for what's coming, go HERE.

Go HERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM