I cry, a bit. 

I've learned to let go of stories about people including their stories therefore it's just their light I am with. I realized I was attached to stories not people.

I'm reaching the boiling point with a current health challenge. 

Finding presence with current moments. Zoom out and easily can become detached, too close and suffer with possible attachment. 

Amazed how many emotions I go through in a day and free from attachment to any of them.

Condition from that need for a romantic partner to help me is falling away. I'd like one but not to help me with everything, to absorb and be absorb; my desire is less leaning and more love.

Thanks for being here~

"...experiencing actually is our self. It's not that there's a self that's experiencing things; the experience is everything." From the book by Bruce Tift, Already Free, discussing Alan Watts view on the self.

This frees me from the sense of being cornered, feeling things happening to me or at me. This shift leaves me with expansion and abundant possibilities. 

My first awareness of being online, of being a person was when I was 2 or 3; I became aware of my body. 

Hey I don't cry here! I read a section in the book by Bruce Tift, "Already Free Buddhism Meets Psychotherapy On The Path Of Liberation"

I have a couple of tics (I woo-hoo and an excited exhale- this is part of my tics/stems) from excited awareness! I went and pulled from the vault, a recent experience, I expose of myself and in the process I capture my self actualizing. 

This book has been so helpful releasing the anxious death grip I have on thoughts. Also realizing I have been avoiding myself all these years. I try now to turn towards myself and experience all of me including those difficult feelings I don't want to feel. By not feeling these feelings, I am denying a part of myself. I want to love all of me. Carl Jung, "I'd rather be whole than good."

I give you an ass'ignment, then please message me and let me know how it went!

Hey, you there, don't stalk me instead say hi I desire to see you and share me with you- :)

Thanks for being here~

I found this piece and it inspired to me to read aloud. I have been experiencing too much time in my head with wounded ego no longer feeling desired. Reading this brought back sensations in my body when I did feel like prey. Thank for the much needed dopamine bump. 

From The Depths by Pandoras-Fox

Thank you for being here.

I can easily succumb (I have a desire to rewrite that word as suc'cum, playfully honoring moments, myself and another person) to thoughts that are arising.

I see why I placed myself with certain people intuitively knowing there wouldn't be a romantic ending. Still I proceeded. I needed a catalyst to burn away these layers.

I can crash and burn up in all this. But instead I'm in stillness and can compassionately hold myself, it worked as needed. I can see stories and thoughts and I am still. Honoring these thoughts and stories by not worshipping them. I'd rather worship the stillness. My stillness I place myself in when I hold you in my attention to worship you; not just a part of you but all of you.

I don't know what now. I see I have nothing, therefore nothing to lose. 

I'm putting together a couple of books, I thank you for being here either from the beginning, from this moment forward or for even a brief moment. I see you human. I see you see me, and I appreciate you.

My po box for encouragment....

PO BOX 1407

Lake Stevens, WA 98258