If you haven't hear the previous episode, go listen it's brief. This morning instead of the usual desired vanilla morning sex I crave after an intense evening, this morning my fantasy is gentle, non-sexual, a double rainbow cry how others can take me to see beautiful vistas, I desire to help support taking some chores off his plate~ Thanks for being here

Session was another intense experience, they kept coming. Mini share.

Wowie, not in tents but an INTENSE experience. For the mature. Part of the autism is my ability to be in and with fantasy. Connection with another not only becomes a shared experience and it shows me it wasn't a figment of my fanciful imagination! One day a gentle shared sleepy conclusion of an intense experience, until then I welcome and enjoy the experiences now. Thanks for being here~

Deepak Chopra said ego stands for edging God out. I'm in a dark night of the soul this time it's around my sexual shadow. This hurts, ego is very large here.

Refraining romantic relationships. I found a rick "Beware Advantage- if you take it, it is yours and all that comes with it. Otherwise leave it." I took it and have been receiving good or bad? It was an easy choice. Years ago I would've thought twice then blamed the thing.

How to say you like effing a girl but don't like her without having to say you like effing a girl but don't like her...I've started to learn to hold space when a negative thought arises. You try it, some personal growth. Thanks for being here I think I lost my oy! recording- bummer.

Witnessing the line of where I could give up. A disappointment, seconds before the phone date it was already over. I'm receiving what I am believing, at least if I continue to stay where I am at I will continue to get the same. Rejection isn't easy regardless if I'm receiving or delivering. Oddly I feel "love" rising to meet me.

Sexless in Seattle and I'm actually ok. One said he misses what I do and do to him. Another as we transition back to being just friends said my sex was like yoga and veggies. I took it as a compliment. Some eye exercises helps me get out of the panic attack. Thanks for being here.

Throat silliness. I lost 5 hours of time in distracted avoidance I recognized what I was avoiding realizing it was the urge to self sabatoge. He left a message he's returning soon activating an inner child, I see my coach this week. I consider this a win. A boundary I haven't crossed in almost a year.

In a rough spot I feel like packing my bags. Title is an Iron Maiden song, some lyrics spot on.